History's Greatest Idiots

Welcome to Part Two! If you thought decades-long affairs were wild, wait until you hear what Palmerston did with actual power. In this episode of History's Greatest Idiots, we explore his most spectacular diplomatic overreactions: sending 14 warships to collect £150, fighting two wars over opium trafficking, allegedly assaulting Queen Victoria's lady-in-waiting in her own palace, becoming Prime Minister at 70, and literally dying in office at 80.This is the story of gunboat diplomacy, imperial arrogance, and refusing to retire.What You'll Discover:The Don Pacifico Affair (Most Spectacular Overreaction Ever): Portuguese Jewish merchant in Athens had his house ransacked in 1847. Claimed £26,000 damages (£30 million in relative purchasing power). Palmerston sent 14 warships, 731 guns, 8,000 sailors to blockade Greece for two months. Actual damages awarded: £150 (£13,500 today). His famous five-hour speech: "Civis Romanus sum" (I am a British citizen). Commons voted 310-264 in his favour, became "most popular man in the country."The Opium Wars (Britain's Least Defensible Policy): British merchants illegally smuggling opium into China for decades. China banned it (catastrophic health crisis). Britain's solution: get Chinese addicted, use drug money to buy tea. 1839: China destroyed 20,000 chests of British opium. Palmerston insisted war was about "free trade." Gladstone called it "a war more unjust in its origins, more calculated to cover this country with permanent disgrace." Vote: 271-262 for war (nine votes!). First Opium War (1839-1842): Britain destroyed Chinese forces, Treaty of Nanking forced China to pay indemnity, open treaty ports, cede Hong Kong. Second Opium War (1856-1860) fully legalised opium trade. China's "century of humiliation" began. All because Victorians really liked tea.The Windsor Castle Scandal: Late 1830s/early 1840s: Palmerston, staying at Windsor Castle, entered Lady Dacre's bedroom late at night (drunk and "enterprising"). She screamed, threw him out. Entire castle learned immediately. Claimed he mistakenly entered wrong room, but locked door behind him. Victoria furious, wanted him sacked. Only Lord Melbourne's intervention saved his career. Victoria wrote years later about "old offences which sunk deep into her mind." She explicitly said in 1853: "Nothing will induce Her Majesty to have Palmerston as Prime Minister." Had to accept him twice anyway. 1863: 78-year-old Palmerston accused of adultery with Mrs O'Kane. Public reaction: "Good for him!"Becoming Prime Minister (Finally): Crimean War going badly, Aberdeen's government fell. 1855: Palmerston became PM at 70 (oldest person ever to take job for first time). Brought Crimean War to reasonable conclusion. 1857: Called election campaigning on being "tough on China," won considerable majority ("Vote for me, I'll send more gunboats!"). 1858: Government fell over restricting refugees. 1859: Returned as PM at 75 with Russell and Gladstone. Final ministry until death in 1865.The Final Years: Navigated American Civil War carefully. Presented Italian Unification as British victory (Britain barely involved). Schleswig-Holstein Question: "Only three people understood it: Prince Consort (dead), German professor (mad), and I (forgotten)." Blocked electoral reform for working class. 1865 election slogan: "Leave it to Pam," won convincing majority at 80. Died 18 October 1865, two days before 81st birthday. Alleged last words: "Die, my dear doctor? That's the last thing I shall do."⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/HistorysGreatestIdiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/historysgreatestidiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/historysgreatestidiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Artist: Sarah Chey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.fiverr.com/sarahchey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

How did an 18-year-old aristocrat become one of Britain's longest-serving politicians, spending 20 years in the same boring job before discovering his true calling at age 46? In the latest episode of History's Greatest Idiots, featuring Emily Jackson, one third of the Trauma Agora Podcast, we explore Henry John Temple, 3rd Viscount Palmerston, the man known as "Lord Cupid" who survived an assassination attempt, conducted a decades-long affair with his friend's wife, and accidentally built one of the most remarkable political careers in British history.The Origin Story: Born in 1784 literally in Parliament's shadow, inheriting an Irish peerage at 18 that was considered "lesser" by British gentry. Educated at Harrow (one of seven PMs from there) and Edinburgh University. Described as having "the most faultless character" (the last time anyone would say that).The Reluctant Politician: Lost his first two campaigns, then paid £1,500 (£1 million in today's purchasing power) to become MP for Horsham at 22. Later represented Newtown with one condition: never visit the constituency. Democracy was more suggestion than requirement.The 20-Year Training Montage: Appointed to admiralty at 22, turned down Chancellor of the Exchequer at 25 (too young!), accepted Secretary at War instead. Spent a mind-numbing 20 years doing army finances under five Prime Ministers. Called "a brilliant young man wasting his talents, destined to remain a second-rater."The Assassination Attempt: Shot by Lieutenant Davies (ex-officer with PTSD) in 1818, survived with minor injury, then paid for Davies's legal defense and psychiatric care. But refused to intervene when poacher Charles Smith was executed on his estates in 1822.Lord Cupid: Earned his nickname through notorious affairs with Lady Jersey, Princess Dorothea Lieven, and dozens of others. The big one: 30-year affair with Emily Lamb, Countess Cowper, whose boring husband "sank into ill health." At least two of her five children were likely Palmerston's.Finally Getting Married: Lord Cowper died in 1837. Emily's children objected (he's too old and a womanizer!). Queen Victoria (age 18) thought people in their 50s were too old to marry. They married anyway in 1839 after 30 years of waiting. Extraordinarily happy marriage, described as "perpetual courtship."The Career Finally Begins: Resigned in 1828 after 20 years with Tories, gave brilliant foreign policy speech in 1829, switched to Whig party, appointed Foreign Secretary in 1830 at age 46. The training montage was over.Coming Up In Part Two: Sending 14 warships to collect £150, fighting two wars over opium, allegedly trying to 'seduce' Queen Victoria's lady-in-waiting in her own palace, becoming PM at 70, and dying in office at 80.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/HistorysGreatestIdiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/historysgreatestidiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/historysgreatestidiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Artist: Sarah Chey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.fiverr.com/sarahchey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Welcome to Part Two of the William Buckland saga, featuring Laurel Rockall of the High Tales of History podcast.If you thought licking cathedral floors and revolutionizing palaeontology through fossilized poop was weird, wait until you hear about his lifelong mission to eat every animal on Earth. In this episode of History's Greatest Idiots, we dive deep into Buckland's practice of "zoophagy," his house that was basically a Victorian zoo gone wrong, and the most infamous dinner party in history where he ate the mummified heart of King Louis XIV of France.This is the story of how brilliance and complete insanity can coexist in one man who served his guests mice on toast while a hyena in academic robes wandered through the living room.The Zoophagist's Manifesto:William Buckland's lifelong goal: eat his way through the entire animal kingdomHis philosophy: "The stomach rules the world! The great ones eat the less, and the less the lesser still!"The actual, documented menu from the Buckland household (these aren't rumours, these are from his children's memoirs)Regular dinner items: mice on toast, hedgehogs, crocodile steaks, panther chops, rhinoceros pie, roast ostrich, elephant trunk, porpoise head, horse's tongue, kangaroo ham, puppies, slugs, earwigs, and bluebottle fliesThe only two things Buckland declared disgusting: mole and bluebottle flyThe House of Chaos:Why the Buckland home was less "Victorian residence" and more "natural history museum gone catastrophically wrong"The indoor menagerie: guinea pigs, snakes, frogs, ferrets, hawks, owls, cats, dogs, a pony (INSIDE THE HOUSE), eagles, and monkeysBilly the Hyena: the real, living hyena who roamed the house in academic robesTiglath Pileser the Bear: the black bear treated as an honorary Christ Church College member who attended wine parties, enjoyed horseback riding, and once raided a sweet shopThe outdoor chaos: a giant tortoise William let people ride, plus foxes, chickens, and various creatures for "observation"Growing up Buckland: nine children raised in a house with a hyena, a bear, and a poop tableThe Heart of a King:The 1848 dinner party at Nuneham House (residence of the Archbishop of York)The silver casket containing the mummified heart of King Louis XIV of FranceHow a French king's heart ended up in England (spoiler: French Revolution and "Mummy Brown" pigment)Buckland's infamous declaration: "I have eaten many strange things, but have never eaten the heart of a king before"The moment he popped a 140-year-old royal organ into his mouth and swallowed itThe horrified reactions from distinguished guests watching a priceless historical artifact get eatenThe Serious Scientist (Because He Actually Was One):First scientific description of a dinosaur: Megalosaurus (1824)Pioneering coprolites (fossilized faeces) in palaeontology and coining the termRevolutionary work on Kirkdale Cave winning him the Royal Society's Copley MedalDiscovery of the Red Lady of Paviland (one of Britain's oldest known human remains)Contributing to modern geology by embracing glaciation theory over biblical flood narrativesTraining future scientific leaders including Charles Darwin's mentorThe Decline and Perfect Ending:Moving to Westminster Deanery in 1845 (with 16 staircases for maximum chaos)The perfect burial: discovering solid Jurassic limestone in his grave plot and needing explosives to excavate itHis legacy today: lunar ridges, islands, and that coprolite table still on display at Lyme Regis Museum⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/HistorysGreatestIdiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/historysgreatestidiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/historysgreatestidiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Artist: Sarah Chey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.fiverr.com/sarahchey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

How did a Victorian priest become the first person to scientifically describe a dinosaur, revolutionize paleontology through the study of fossilized poop, and terrify students by shoving hyena skulls in their faces while screaming about stomachs? In this episode of History's Greatest Idiots, featuring Laurel Rockall of the High Tales of History podcast, we explore the spectacular life of William Buckland, the eccentric geologist who dressed like a wizard, licked cathedral floors, and proved that brilliance and madness are often the same thing.This is the story of how to change scientific history while being absolutely insufferable at dinner parties.The Fossil-Hunting Childhood:How young William grew up in fossil-rich Devon with a father who took him rock hunting instead of, you know, normal parentingHis journey from Blundell's School to a scholarship at Oxford's Corpus Christi CollegeWhy he became obsessed with geology before it was even a proper subject (hipster geologist energy)The Most Terrifying Teacher in History:The infamous lecture technique of shoving hyena skulls in students' faces while screaming "THE STOMACH RULES THE WORLD!"How he'd get on all fours and prance around the lecture hall imitating dinosaur gaits (one colleague said it made him want to vomit)Why he dressed in full academic robes for fieldwork, looking like a wizard on a fossil huntThe students who attended his lectures: future Cardinal John Henry Newman, Samuel Wilberforce, and Charles Darwin's mentor Charles LyellThe Greatest Discovery (And It's Poop):The 1821 Kirkdale Cave discovery: workers using prehistoric bones to fill potholes in Yorkshire roadsHow Buckland proved the cave was a prehistoric hyena den by comparing ancient faeces to fresh hyena droppings (dedication!)The invention of "coprolites" (fossilized faeces) as a scientific field of studyHis infamous poop table: a dining table inlaid with fossilized faeces that he made guests eat on before revealing what it was made ofWinning the Royal Society's Copley Medal for his work on ancient hyena shitThe Dinosaur Whisperer:The 1818 discovery of mysterious bones near Stonesfield, OxfordshireConsulting with Georges Cuvier, the founding father of vertebrate palaeontologyFebruary 20, 1824: Buckland becomes the first person in history to scientifically describe a dinosaur (Megalosaurus)How he changed our understanding of prehistoric life foreverThe Tasting Geologist:Buckland's habit of identifying geological deposits by licking themHis honeymoon with wife Mary Morland: touring Europe's geological sites and tasting rocks togetherThe cathedral floor incident: licking "holy martyr blood" and declaring it bat urineHe Ate Everything:He set out on a mission to eat every living animal, which led to him creating recipes including: including mice on toast, panther chops, crocodile steaks, and...puppiesThe story gets even wilder in part two. William Buckland's lifelong mission to eat everything on Earth continues, including the mummified heart of King Louis XIV of France. Plus: his house that was basically a chaotic zoo, his pet hyena Billy who wore academic robes to wine parties, and how his scientific brilliance was matched only by his complete inability to behave like a normal human being.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/HistorysGreatestIdiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/historysgreatestidiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/historysgreatestidiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Artist: Sarah Chey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.fiverr.com/sarahchey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Animation: Daniel Wilson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/wilson_the_wilson/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Music: Andrew Wilson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/andrews_electric_sheep⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Welcome to Season 6! In Part Two of our Spotify saga, things get MUCH darker. If you thought underpaying musicians and overpaying Joe Rogan was bad, wait until you hear about the military drones, ICE recruitment ads, and the AI-generated music flooding the platform. This is the story of how a music streaming company became a weapons investor, government propagandist, and AI content farm, all while claiming they can't afford to pay artists more.⚠️ REMINDER: We're still hosted on Spotify's platform. This is basically career suicide at this point, but we're committed to the bit.The AI Apocalypse:Spotify's secret "Perfect Fit Content" program: commissioning fake artists to avoid paying real musicians since 2016How AI tools like Suno and Udio flooded Spotify with millions of fake tracksAventhis: The "verified artist" with 1 million monthly listeners whose entire catalogue is AI-generated (57 tracks in 4 months!)Why your Discover Weekly is now filled with AI slop instead of actual human musiciansDeezer implements AI detection tools. Spotify's response? cricketsSpotify Goes to War:Daniel Ek's €700 million ($800 million) personal investment in Helsing, an AI military weapons companyHow the CEO of a music platform became chairman of a company developing drone warfare technologyArtists pull their catalogues in protest: Deerhoof, Massive Attack (possible Banksy collaborators!), and moreThe brutal irony: "We can't afford to pay musicians more" but somehow there's $700 million for battlefield AIDaniel Ek's defence: "AI, mass and autonomy are driving the new battlefield" (yes, really)The ICE Recruitment Scandal:Spotify runs U.S. government ads with phrases like "millions of dangerous illegals are rampaging the streets"Users get ICE recruitment propaganda between their favourite songsSpotify's defence: "We're just following orders" (a historically great excuse!)The #BoycottSpotify movement becomes a quarterly traditionOh, and Spotify donated $150,000 to Trump's 2025 inaugurationThe Swedish Tax Rebel:Daniel Ek's 2016 open letter threatening to move Spotify out of Sweden"The country that gave me free healthcare and education wants me to pay taxes? Outrageous!"How Sweden actually reformed its laws to accommodate billionaires... and Ek STILL complainedThe wealth tax that cost Sweden $166 billion in capital flightThe Good Stuff (Because Balance):Yes, Spotify democratized music access (100+ million songs for $10/month is incredible)The Partner Program actually helps small-to-mid-size podcasters earn decent moneySpotify paid out $10 billion to the industry in 2024 (10x more than in 2014)The algorithm genuinely helps people discover new artists...But does any of this excuse the rest?The Future:Daniel Ek steps down as CEO in January 2026 (but stays as Executive Chairman, pulling the strings)Can Spotify maintain profitability while fighting Apple Music, YouTube Music, and Amazon?Will governments regulate AI-generated music?Can Spotify's brand recover from Joe Rogan + military drones + ICE ads + underpaid artists?Want to actually support artists?Buy their music directlyGo to their concertsBuy their merchDownload, don't just streamIf you stream, loop their songs on repeat (300 streams = 1 album sale)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/HistorysGreatestIdiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/historysgreatestidiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/historysgreatestidiots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Artist: Sarah Chey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.fiverr.com/sarahchey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Animation: Daniel Wilson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/wilson_the_wilson/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Music: Andrew Wilson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/andrews_electric_sheep⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠