Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

SPONSORS: - Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse - Go to https://Helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide. - Use code YMH at https://monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. Check your six, mommy! In this absolutely unhinged episode of Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina suit up in tactical vests and announce a bold new YMH initiative: total-life preparedness. From flashlight stances to 10-second doorway scans, the leaders of the Mommy Militia learn how to navigate a world full of lurking threats, fire, danger, and of course… clowns. Shout out to Jason Fabus for the amazing sax intro (IG: @jasonfabus). Tom and Christina show off an impressive array of emergency gear (machetes, trauma shears, MRE pizza with 5,000 calories, brass knuckles, and a foldable murder-credit-card), before the two dive into more safety guy Larry Betz safety lessons, some prime examples of black romance, horny James Joyce letters, trench foot, some horrible or hilarious clips, some TikTok's, and then addressing the loss of a truly stacked inspiration. Stay safe. Stay ready. And never walk into a Chili’s without scanning the exits first. Your Mom’s House Ep. 840 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:12 - Farts & Safety 00:06:44 - Opening Clip: Restaurant Scan 00:16:40 - Clip: Safety Shaun 00:18:59 - More Safety Tips & The Perfect Neighbor 00:30:54 - Clip: Misgendered Meltdown 00:35:11 - Clip: Talk To The Butt 00:37:08 - James Joyce Love Letters 00:41:31 - Clip: Big Gay Clowns 00:43:59 - Madonna 00:47:03 - Clip: Headbutt Self Defense 00:48:46 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:54:15 - Clip: Isolation Year 00:57:41 - RIP Mary Magdalene 00:59:16 - Clip: Pastor's Cool Advice For Women 01:04:38 - Fedsmoker Jr 01:09:05 - TikToks 01:19:38 - Final Safety Tips 01:22:01 - Closing Song - "She Got Tits" by Joseph and John Juarez Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: - Shop SKIMS Mens at https://SKIMS.com. #skimspartner - Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom Segura and Christina P are firing on all cylinders as chaos reigns from start to finish. Christine boldly reclaims her glasses identity (sparking a surprisingly heated household debate), questionable gift choices come under scrutiny, and the internet once again proves it was the greatest mistake. From rage-filled rants about fake followers and bots, to disturbingly confident accountants, fetish podcasters breaking down their very specific preferences, and viral videos featuring hornets, skateboarding trauma, and shower-time courting rituals, this episode will make you cry m, my baby! Tim and Christine also check out more content from their new favorite survivalist, chime in on a Italian man's scam with his dead mother, and go off about people walking among us who aren't as sane as they seem. Add in fart economics, tactical vests for children, holiday gifting advice, and a deep dive into what really makes something “gay,” and you’ve got a classic YMH rollercoaster. Buckle up, Mommy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 839 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:58 - Opening Clip: Fireside Chat 00:07:19 - Clowning Around A Pazsitzky Effect 00:17:00 - Prepared Not Paranoid 00:28:40 - Lipstick Plug 00:30:16 - Bitches Love A Strong Jawline 00:34:39 - Clip: Fart Fetish Confession 00:39:20 - Clip: Domino's Fart Pizza 00:43:18 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:49:34 - MMA Domination 00:51:43 - Hitler Won An Election 00:58:19 - Italian Mom Scam + Plain Clothes Psycho 01:05:38 - Meghan Markle's Salmonella Thanksgiving 01:08:35 - Crack Is Whack 01:14:40 - A Really Cool Story 01:19:38 - TikToks 01:33:49 - Closing Song - "SooWoo" by Josh Del Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code YMH at https://bluechew.com Head to https://Mood.com and use code YOURMOM to find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH . Promo Code YMH New Customers Bet $5 Get $200 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #DKPartner This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina roast bland Thanksgiving food, obsess over an Olympian-level dad at the kiddie pool, fall in love with a furious celibate called GoogleDaddy, and spiral about a paranoid flashlight guy while trying to de-fatten their cat. Plus the main mommies get emotional about Tom’s new Netflix special, check out some more clips from FedSmoker Jr, learn about defending yourself from "clowns", and shop tactical belts for Christmas. Dreamboat Dad: if you're out there, leave a comment for Tom! Your Mom’s House Ep. 838 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in IL. 1 per new DraftKings customer. Must register new DraftKings account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to get 1 promo code to redeem a 3-month NBA League Pass subscription, complimentary of DraftKings, and get max. $200 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Bonus Bet expires in 7 days (168 hours) and stake removed from payout. Token expires 12/7/25. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos . NBA League Pass: Subscription auto-renews monthly at then-current price (currently $16.99/mo); cancel anytime. Terms, restrictions, and eligibility requirements apply. Redeem League Pass by 12/19/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Addt’l terms: https://support.watch.nba.com/hc/en-us/articles/9165532876183-League-Pass-Terms-of-Use_ . Offer ends 11/30/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:37 - Tommy's Buns & Tina's Sticks 00:07:42 - Tom's New Special 00:11:20 - Opening Clip: Aloha Daddy 00:21:31 - Thanksgiving Gaycation 00:38:01 - Stay Safe Out There 00:48:46 - Shopping For Self-Defense Toys 00:55:05 - More From FedSmoker Jr 01:01:16 - Shoutout To MGM & Chef Jose Andres 01:04:32 - The Cat Feeder Conundrum 01:07:24 - Body Fat Percentage 01:18:55 - Wrap Up 01:19:21 - Closing Song - "Fed Smoker Rides Eternal" by Reverend John Wheeler Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom will be touring in Tacoma, Washington at the Emerald Queen Casino, and after that, Oakland, California, at the Paramount Theatre November 30th. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on early Black Friday deals. Head to https://Wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair’s Black Friday deals for up to 70% off. - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse - Use code YMH at https://monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. What's up, Chomos?!? It's a super-sized episode as Tom and Christina spiral into complete chaos as they announce Tom’s brand new Italian bakery opening in Austin, debate the official hierarchy of Small Fat, Mid Fat & Super Fat, and revisit one of YMH’s greatest Cool Guys — the meth dude who “came in 4 strokes.” The mommies also break down a billionaire who lost over $300 million gambling, roast Bezos and Zuckerberg’s glow-ups, and discuss why every CEO is suddenly shredded. Plus: fat pets, fart mics, autistic rant guy, and the saddest cat breastfeeding story ever told. Your Mom’s House Ep. 837 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:46 - A Taste Of IT-Ly 00:05:40 - Opening Chaos & Classic Cool Guy Musings 00:10:55 - What Type Of Fat Are You? 00:19:51 - Clip: Rant On Autism 00:22:26 - Clip: The Drooling Gambler 00:29:47 - Clip: Fat Love 00:35:53 - Fat Pets 00:44:49 - Clip: Ex Liked My Farts 00:46:12 - Fit CEO's 00:54:51 - Tommy Lasorda 00:58:31 - Clip: Dressed Up 01:00:57 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:04:18 - Indian Hospitals 01:08:08 - TikToks 01:14:09 - Closing Song - "Principal Coffee" by Chydah Sneeze Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Go to https://Helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. - Head to https://BlueChew.com to get your first month of FREE with promo code YMH - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. It’s almost Jeans-giving, and Tom Segura & Christina P are feeling thankful for historical revisionism, meth-fueled prophets, and the sweet smell of 1700s body odor. The Main Mommies kick things off with a totally factual retelling of Thanksgiving, then dive into life (and death) before antibiotics — when losing a tooth could mean losing your brain. Tom unveils his plan to hit 3% body fat “just to feel something”, Christina confesses her papier-mâché addiction, and they dissect the seeming reincarnation of everyone’s favorite tweaked out double agent asking cops, “What’s your serial number?” Add in J. Lo’s silent treatment to her bus driver, a Barbie with diabetes, and a guy who physically can’t eat a pickle — and you’ve got a classic hour and some change of unhinged YMH magic. Your Mom’s House Ep. 836 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:45 - A Stinky History Lesson 00:08:06 - Opening Clip: What's Your Serial Number? 00:15:49 - FedSmoker Jr 00:20:46 - A Quick Lipshits Plug 00:21:46 - Clip: Cool Neighbor Lady 00:25:48 - Tom’s 3% Body Fat Plan 00:32:15 - Vial & Disgusting Fat Guy 00:38:25 - Christine's Craft Hoarding Intervention 00:43:33 - Piss Break & Diabetes Barbie 00:47:28 - Jennifer Lopez 00:58:35 - Clip: Master Of Clits 01:02:13 - Clip: Afraid Of Pickles 01:06:42 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:12:15 - Clip: Ryan Wants To Be Recognized 01:13:12 - Wyatt Buhl 01:18:00 - Closing Song -"White Girl (With A Fat Ass)" by Odd-Track Numbers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices