Broken Fathers Podcast

• Episode 20 - Vanessa Allen - How Easy it is to Ruin a Mans Life

  Send us a textEpisode 20Guest – Vanessa AllenI sit down with mother of two, she’s also broken daughter who was robbed with a relationship with her father when she was taken to New Zealand when she was only three years old after she found out her father had cheated on her.She is also the founder of Men’s Emotions matter Movement advocating for men’s and fathers right the movement has plans for stages of development nationally going to male dominated industries sports schools helping empowering men and letting them know they are supported. Vanessa was Born in Perth but brought up in NZ and had a rough trot in growing up. Have been taken from her father out of spite because her mother wanted to get pay pack to her father for cheating has played a part in how she came about making her movement for men. Vanessa has done a lot of self-work to not resent her mother and advises other mother not to do the same spiteful acts as it only leaves the children with lifelong issues. Vanessa has recently got a petition over the line with parliament to reform on child support, the bias against men in the family lay system and perjury being used against false allegations which is now sitting with the attorney general.She is also currently working on the constitution and creating a ACN & ACNC for her charity. She talks about the ridiculous amount of money (180 billion) being designated to women but only 4.3 billion to men. Vanessa aims to dedicate her Charity to creating safe houses for men, including24 hour DV lines open for men.Email 28th august got an email from attorney general is currently reviewing the petition and will respond within 90 daysWe also pick apart the current DV bubble, and how EVERYTHING is a form of DV these days. Having banter with your partner is extinct as that can be used as DV. We address how shit is to be a man/father in this country as the reward vs risk outweighs any win for a male to happen. In this country as a man, you’ll lose your house, super and kids.We address how terrible the child support system is, and that mothers need to take responsibility finically when deciding to have a child and not to have to rely on a man if the relationships end.Vanessa mentions Karma and warns other mothers if you use your child as a pawn, you’ll have a child that will never Wholey love you as you denyied them a relationship with their father because you took something from them you didn’t need to.We conclude on how young men are taking their lives because videos of their mothers on OF getting jack hammered are being passed around on the phone and how some police officers are leaving the force because there sick of dealing with the constant false DV allegations yet still having to attend residences to serve a DVO .If you are a father struggling and would like to seek Counselling, Vannesa is a qualified counsellor offering sessions to any father that may be seeing help. Support the show

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• Episode 19 - Chris & Gem Ward - She had the Silver Bullet, our Truth was the Smoking Gun

  Send us a textEpisode 19Guest – Chris & Gem WardOn our upcoming episode of the Broken Fathers Podcast, I sit down with Chris, a 35-year-old father from Tasmania who works in the Federal Government. He'll be joined by his fiancée, Gem Ward, a nurse. Chris was raised by both his parents, who are still together today. He met his ex-partner in 2008 and, looking back, he recalls early signs of her questioning his every move. For example, when he helped her friend, who was too intoxicated to walk, into a cab, she accused Chris of cheating.Chris joined the Army in 2007 at 17, moving off barracks and in with his ex-partner shortly after meeting. In 2010, Chris was first deployed to Afghanistan, and then again in 2011. Chris recalls listening to other diggers on the phone during his deployments, hearing about the problems they were having back home due to the immense pressure of being away.In 2012, Chris applied for special forces. His psychological assessments identified extreme stubbornness as a character trait. Chris acknowledges that his perception of his ex enduring his deployments, led him to propose to her. In early 2015, Chris married his ex-partner. In 2016, Chris deployed to Iraq with a good friend who later took his own life. This was a wake-up call for Chris, leading to his discharge from the army. Not long after the suicide, there was an inquest into his death. In mid-2018, Chris's ex-partner became pregnant, and in February 2019, their beautiful son was born. He recalls holding his son for the first time as a life-changing moment.Not long after his then-wife returned to work, he noticed a change in her behaviour. His ex began working at an employment agency and began spending time with male work colleagues for coffee outside of work hours. Chris noticed she started getting her nails done, and then this work colleague began coming to their house to pick her up. When Chris questioned her about who he was, she simply replied, "he's just a friend." The next time he came over, his ex-brought him into the house and introduced him to their son. Soon after, she started going on late night walks and would seek to spend time socialising with these colleagues of an evening on the justification that Chris would be working one night a week as an Army reservist.Chris recounts the shocking experience of his property settlement, early in the separation, which (in hindsight) signalled his ex-partner’s intent. The Real Estate agent employed to sell the house was identified by his ex, and after signing him on, this agent refused to communicate with him, despite him being the one occupying the property. The agent would conduct inspections of the property without Chris’ knowledge, and when Chris identified missing items, he was left with no choice but to chain lock the door and sneak out of the bathroom window to leave his home.Gem opens up about her difficult upbringing in a broken home, including her mother's attempts to blackmail her against her father and making outrageous claims in court, such as stating he was a threat because he was a firefighter and knew how to light fires. She also shares her experience with a physically abusive ex and how one of Chris's most admirable traits when they met was his refusal to speak negatively about his ex. Gem's unwavering support for Chris through family court, however, inadvertently brought up her own childhood trauma.The episode delves into the family court's apparent disregard for Chris's care of Gem's children whom he cared for 12 nights per fortnight. Chris also shares a disturbing incident where his son split his head at childcare, and when he sought answers, he was shockingly informed he was no longer on the enrolment form and therefore not entitled to them. He vividly recalls a 5 PM Sunday handover where

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• Episode 18 – Peter John - Parental Alienation is Coercive Control

  Send us a textEpisode 18Guest – Peter EllisTune in to today's Broken Fathers Podcast, where I sit down with Peter, a 36-year-old father from Brisbane who works in construction. Peter's story begins in Liverpool, UK, where he grew up in a hardworking council estate. He joined the British army in 2004 and left after the tragic loss of his mother in 2009.  In 2011, Peter moved to Sydney with his then-partner. Six weeks later, she became pregnant. Peter honestly shares that their relationship was more of a best friendship, and cracks soon began to show. After securing his permanent residency, work became scarce in Sydney, leading Peter to work in Canberra for six days a week, a three-hour drive away, only returning to Sydney on Sundays to see his family.While Peter worked tirelessly to provide, his partner decided they should downgrade to a smaller place. During his next day off, Peter helped move everything, cleaned the old house, and then asked for a spare set of keys for the new rental before driving back to Canberra. To his shock, she refused, revealing she had only used him to move everything and that their relationship was now over. That three-hour drive back to Canberra was the longest of his life.Living in a garage in Canberra and paying $300 a week in child support, Peter continued his weekly Sunday trips to Sydney to see his daughter, but the strain was taking its toll. In 2017, he met his now-wife and eventually introduced her to his daughter. Things were going well until his ex-partner discovered his new relationship. Plans for his daughter to be a flower girl were ruined by his ex, who would whisper in the background during his phone calls with their daughter, controlling their conversations. His ex even sent threatening text messages, stating he would never see his daughter again because he was getting married. Just as Peter was getting his life on track, his new partner became pregnant. Soon after, he broke his hand at work, leading to six months off and further impacting his ability to see his daughter. Struggling with these challenges, Peter reached a breaking point and attempted to take his own life in his garage. Thankfully, his partner and in-laws found him and rushed him to the hospital. This harrowing experience became a turning point, prompting Peter to seek help, reset, and re-educate himself as his hand healed.Peter talks about fighting the DVO battle driven by fabricated allegations and also shared a poignant memory of a Christmas when his then thirteen-year-old daughter visited for seven days. Despite his excitement and detailed plans, the connection between them had unfortunately faded, which he attributes to negative influences from his ex. In closing, Peter openly discusses his battle with depression and emphasizes the importance of learning from our mistakes. He believes the court system needs to expedite its processes. While he knows rebuilding the connection with his teenage daughter will take time, he is committed to being the best version of himself, ready and waiting for when she comes back into his life. For now, Peter is focused on raising his two young boys, aged five and three. He also shared that he almost turned back on his way to record the podcast but is glad he persevered to tell his story and move forward.

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• Episode 17 - Adam Coleman - I Spent 10 Years in the Court System

  Send us a textEpisode 17Guest – Adam Coleman In today’s episode, I’m joined by Adam Coleman, a 38-year-old father of four from Springfield. Adam, an operations manager, spent 10 years navigating the family court system in two separate cases. Adam, an only child, was born and raised in Liverpool, NSW. He never knew his father. After high school, he began a butcher apprenticeship but left after six months to pursue testing and tagging before settling into his career as a truck driver. Sadly, Adam’s mother passed away in 2017.In 2011, Adam met his first ex-partner at a bar. Their initial conversation included her telling him about a messy breakup and being a victim of domestic violence. Looking back, Adam recognizes this as a red flag. Soon after, they were in a relationship and welcomed their beautiful daughter in April 2011. Adam described how his world changed for the better, recalling how he would come home from long days of driving trucks, walk into his daughter's room, hold her hand, and fall asleep.More red flags appeared when Adam's friends would call him to report his partner dancing with other girls at bars. He remembers instances of her verbally attacking him at home. One day, he returned from work to find a note and her prepaid phone, stating she had left with their daughter without revealing their whereabouts. They were together for nearly three years before they split; their daughter was only a year and a half old at the time.After finally getting in touch with his ex, she returned home to gather some belongings, bringing a friend who hurled abuse at Adam on the veranda, threatening him by saying her brother-in-law was a cop and that he "would be f**ked."Soon after, two police officers arrived. The female officer was helpful and understanding towards Adam, but her colleague insisted Adam be arrested and handcuffed. Adam later discovered this male officer was sleeping with his ex. The officer was subsequently investigated for being in the area despite being based out of Blacktown Police Station. Adam spent two nights in a holding cell, which allowed his ex free rein to go through his house and take what she wanted.Adam was served with a Domestic Violence Order (DVO), only for his ex to return to his place a month later, hit him three times, and spit in his face. Adam immediately reported it to the police, but they dismissed his claims.His ex then filed a complaint, and police threatened to arrest him in front of his daughter. Adam went to the police station, where he was arrested and spent 12 weeks in prison. Upon his release, they delayed him for five hours, allowing them to call his ex and give her a heads-up so she could flee. After his release, he found out his ex and daughter had indeed fled. Adam immediately sought legal counsel.Finally, a court date was set. Adam attended, but his ex-did not. After reviewing all the submissions, the judge apologised to Adam, stating he should never have spent any time in jail. Adam gained custody of his daughter, and it's truly admirable how he has risen above the conflict with his ex-partner. He continues to offer her opportunities to spend time with their daughter, understanding the importance of both parents being involved in a child's life.In 2014, Adam met a new partner who claimed she couldn't get pregnant, yet soon after, she was expecting. Red flags quickly emerged when she expressed jealousy towards Adam's daughter, demanding she move out. Adam firmly refused, leading her to throw his engagement ring in his face. Her behaviour brought back painful memories of his first relationship, prompting him to call her stepfather. This tumultuous situation culminated in a DVO beSupport the show

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• Episode 16 - Nick Beaunan - The Courts Want You to Fail

  Send us a textEpisode 16Guest - Nick BeaunanThis week on the Broken Fathers Podcast, I sat down with Nick Beaunan, a 50-year-old father from Tweed Heads who works in IT. Nick shared his challenging 16-month journey through family court as he fought for his two children.Nick's story began with his parents' separation when he was young, leading to him being raised by his grandmother on the Sunshine Coast. Following in his parents' footsteps, both nurses, Nick began his career at Nambour Hospital at 18. Finding nursing unfulfilling and seeking adventure, he soon packed his bags and moved to Melbourne to join the Victorian Police. After completing 20 weeks at the police academy, Nick was posted to St Kilda, where he began his general duties career. He was later posted to Sunshine before becoming a detective and eventually retired as a Sergeant.Nick, who was married for 15 years. Unfortunately, his marriage began to struggle when his ex-wife was diagnosed with mental health issues. This led Nick to feel like an unwanted carer. After leaving the Victorian Police, Nick started working as a security risk advisor in Papua New Guinea. It was during this time that his relationship began to dissolve. While he was working away, Nick's ex-wife made it very difficult for him to communicate with their children.Upon returning home, a former police colleague informed Nick that his ex-wife was attempting to file an AVO against him. This colleague also mentioned that some police officers at the station had a personal vendetta against Nick, despite never having met him. Nick believes there's a lack of "brotherhood" within the force and that ex-cops, much like veterans, are often perceived as aggressive.Nick opens up about one time his ex was having an episode in a public place, and he didn’t want to give her the car keys concerned for her safety, but before he knew it 4 police officers were surrounding him with some idiot walking past calling him a woman basher.This is where the parent alienation chapter starts like most fathers, he was slapped with an AVO over fabricated allegations and had to see the lids in supervised care. At one point he kissed his kids good but knowing he wasn’t going to see them for a while.14 months later, at the family report writer interview which is a very synthetic environment. His kids arrived, but they had been brainwashed. During this time his ex-had been breaching court orders, and his ex-having BPD had manipulated the family report writer. At one point Nick receives a phone call from child safety which gobsmacks him. The judge, seeing through the bullshit, was more concerned as to why Nick wasn’t being allowed to see the kids.In closing we address how the Police force is managing DV and how it's Impacting an individual that hasn’t done anything wrong. It seems it's Easier for them to take out an order than make a consideration around whether it’s prudent and are officers stepping in when they are not required. Nick looks back now and tells Family court is nothing but a waste of time and money.Today, Nick is thriving. He’s remarried and is a personal trainer but more exciting he runs his own business running a lie detection test. Days of the polygraph are gone; his new device measures the cognitive load through your retina which captures 92% data.This is a cracking episode you don’t want to miss.

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