INSTANT EXPERTS - the latest news, explained by idiots

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In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:
It’s Iran week 5 and the Distract-O-Meter hits 11 as another Friend of the Show departs!
US Attorney-General Pam Bondi is boned to distract from Iran, which was supposed to distract from The Epstein Files, that we admit Our Pam f*cked up monumentally, but it’s hard when the President is guilty as fark!
'Pam Bondi: Worse Lawyer or Worse Person?' AG of Hell decides!
Pam retorts: “Better to die on your feet than work on your knees! But you’re still the best President since [muffled, unintelligble]” 
And so much more in another bumper episode of Instant Experts - in which the US wargames how to open thing that was open before and Donald Trump fumbles around trying to find The Strait of Clitorz!:
The Dow goes down like BJ Vance at a Cabinet meeting, hitting 46,000 and falling
Trump celebrates Easter, Jesus’ message of sacrifice and love by bombing the sh*t out of some Muzzies
Davey the Escape Goat wishes The Lord was his Shepherd instead of “Pedro the Lonely”, after dark
Plus, Teresa the co-ed proves Hell is exothermic, the hard way!
Then the hits keep coming like the Crowes in the ‘90s, Stones in ‘73:
Aussie PM Anthony Albanese addresses the nation but forgets the postcode, envelope, letter and stamp
Donald Trump addresses his nation, shouting “Person Woman Man Camera TV!” sorry, “Iran Vietnam Afghanistan Covfefe!”
US Def Sec Pete Hegseth sacks Chief of The Army for refusing his stupid orders, then sacks his stockbroker for acting on them
And Wests Tigers beat Jonathan the Giant Tortoise in a thriller!

In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee. (Geoff Provest MP (Nat, NSW) in mandatory online security course led by Ihaq Duhmquns Aqawntz, IRGC, Tehran)

Say hi to us by email at [email protected]

Or be heard everywhere from St Bart’s to Saint Helena with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au 

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Audio produced, compiled, re-mixed and mastered by Junior

Video assembled, edited, and designed by the Guantanamo Babe

Episode edited by Honk with assistance from Buffy the Wombat and twins, absolutely no assistance from Telstra who suck c*cks

Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe. You rock!
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For video version: https://youtu.be/zq89KV6DrIs
It’s Iran week 4 and the end game is clear: peace, war, stalemate or starvation! Meanwhile world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons blow things up while they still can: 
Iran blows up 17% of 20% of the world’s LNG supplies at Ras Laffan - World discovers LNG is useful the hard way!
The US blows up Iran’s power supplies, but only on Truth Social! Trump describes ancient Shamshir sword at his testicles as “very good and productive” 
Israel blows up Hezbollah in South Lebanon for the first time this week - Neighbours request they keep the noise down a little
Wests Tigers blow up their NRL Premiership chances in just 2 weeks! 
All this and so much more in another bumper episode of the show critics rave is "showcasing the slow death of Western civilisation":
Henry Lee uses the Haber-Bosch process to convert methane to ammonia; Trump family uses same process to convert inside information into cash!
'Dynasty: Israel''s Linda Evansyahu takes Joan Khollins off her kill list ahead of this week’s peace talks. But only for 48 hrs, biatch!
OnlyFans founder dies at age 43, presumably of exhaustion; Polymarket makes shock takeover bid to form OnlyPolyFans (Headquarters: Utah)!
Regular listener The Moose leaves Clermont-Ferrand for The Angel, Islington, cos he got 4 houses and a hotel for $250!
Robert Mueller dies peacefully, surrounded by family, reassuring them “that muthaf*cka guilty as hell!"
And in sport, Starsky & Hutch combine for record partnership at Theo Kojak field - smashing one set by Scarecrow & Mrs King!
In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee (RFK Jr. held up by dead pussy on side of road, attached to dead cat)

Say hi to us by email at [email protected]

Or be heard everywhere from Bright (Vic) to Vancouver (Darwin) with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au 

All complaints to [email protected]

Audio produced, compiled, mixed and mastered by Junior 

Video compiled, designed and edited by the Guantanamo Babe

Episode edited by Honk with intermittent assist from Guantanamo Babe and James Jackson, Sacramento, He/Him, Democratic Socialists of America. Hold your applause, please - it’s triggering!

Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe. Thank you!
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We celebrate our 50th official episode* with some of our favourite Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons. While we still can!:
Show Patron Donald J Trump beats Iran for the third week in a row. But can he beat the Wests Tigers at Leichhardt?
DNI-hire Tulsi Gabbard shares her intelligence on Iraq: “I think it’s spelled I-R-A-N, but that’s The President’s decision”
Ayatollah-For-Now Whoda Faqizzi gets a shock boob job in Russia. He looks Hot-Az-Faq!
And The Honk takes cover in the IE Situation Room to watch the Adult Film Oscars. It’s “Straights, Whores and Moos” by unanimous decision!
All this and so much more in another bumper episode of Instant Experts - brought to you by AMPOL. Fill your tank, listeners, for just 3 gold bars and a kidney!:
NATO rushes to help clear The Straits of Hormuz - right after Oktoberfest, Guy Fawkes’ Night and NYE
Japanese PM conceals hand re Pearl Harbour II - the one with nukes and no Josh Hartnett
Australia runs low on petrol, avgas, diesel, Johnny Diesel, and Johnny Diesel and The Injectors. You never miss your water til you’re dry!
Sneaky Norway cheekily buys 1.5% of the world - and The Honk!
Henry lilos down The Danube into unexpected Northern Territory!
Plus Grace Tame announces date for Thich Quang Duc Self-Immolation Title Match - "It all happens October 7. Unless it happens to Jews, then it didn't"
In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee
Scripts may have been written by Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK), but that information is classified. 
Say hi to us by email at [email protected]
Or be heard everywhere from Bratislava to Belgrade with a voicemail to play on the show, recorded right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au 
All complaints to [email protected]
Audio produced, mixed and mastered by Junior
Video compiled, edited and designed by Guantanamo Babe
Episode edited by The Honk with intermittent assistance from Guantanamo Babe and 'Fleur' (definitely not part of Iranian regime DEATH TO THE JE-- DAMN IT!!)
Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe. Eternal Gratitude!
*It’s actually 55 episode with best ofs, double eps and our mini-ep excuses for not recording, but who's counting, except The Honk, obsessively? (Answer: Henry)
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Send us a text here!
Video version is here!: https://youtu.be/b6XbBM3Wgug
In our latest tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:
It’s week 2 of the AFL, the NRL and the big clash between IRAN and USA!
Will America’s league-leading offence beat Iran’s league-leading defence? We mine the Straits of Hormuz to find out!
Will Ukraine’s expertise repelling Russian drones made by Iran funded by America help America repel Iranian drones funded by Russia? 
And will the new new Ayatollah survive to hear next week’s Episode 50 Golden Jubilee? We talk to the “People’s Tyrant”, Supreme Leader Whoda Faqizzi!
All this and so much more in another bumper episode of Instant Experts, hailed by critics as "more confused about world affairs than ever"!  
Kristi Noem says an emotional goodbye to public office: “I just wish I could have shot more people! 
Ex Aussie PM ScoMo brings his marketing expertise to Iran at last - Inbound missile tourism has never been higher!
The Iran Women’s Football team gets it all wrong in the Asian Cup, losing all 3 matches BEFORE staging a trial game between Defectors and Non-Defectors. Defectors win 6-5 in a thriller!
And Wests Tigers prepare for Round 1 with a thumping win over Tottenham Hotspur!
In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee (Andrew Tate held up in Dubai (by his balls in solitary)) 
Reaching all corners of the world INCLUDING the Paris of the North, D-D-D-D-D-A-R-W-I-N!
Say hi to us by email at [email protected]
Or be heard everywhere - including on 0300 conference calls with Boston - with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au  
All complaints to [email protected]
Audio produced and mixed by Junior 
Video design & compile by Guantanamo Babe
Episode edited by The Honk with assistance from Guantanamo Babe and Pat the Chatty Irish Robot 
Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe. God bless you!
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Send us a text here!
To watch the video version on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Vxx9PQP2LqY
In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits & Morons:
After 249 gruelling days of no-one bombing the sh*t out of each other, Israel, Iran and The US are ready for MIDDLE EAST ELIMINATION CHAMBER - the WWE/WW3 co-production everyone's talking about!
It’s Mania in Mesopotamia as the Tigris and Euphrates square off at last! Who’s the greatest river of them all? Shatt Al-Arab reports! 
Can *anyone* beat Donald “The Predator” Trump and his signature move - The MASSIVE DUMP from on high?
Will Honk’s minesweeper get him safely to his deal of a lifetime at the Taj Dubai - Or will a big hostile torpedo penetrate The Dire Straits of Hormuz / Epstein?
All this & more in another bumper episode of 'Instant Experts', hailed by critics as "more out of their depth than ever!":
We share our fascinating insights into the shitshow in Iran! Or is it just a fracas? An imbroglio? One thing fo’ sho’. It ain’t no wo’! Not for another 59 days anyway!
US Defence Sec Pete Hegseth gets bombed at Davo’s, while the Sri Lankan First VIII rows out to rescue the 32 survivors of the Iranian ship he just wasted! 
Newly ex-Homeland Security Sec Kristi Noem deports radio's Jackie O to El Salvador (and shoots her dog) while Kristi and Kyle Sandilands contemplate career next steps. Have they tried LinkedIn4 F*ckwits.com?
Israel says CU Next Thursday to Hezbollah! Except since their Sabbath is Friday, they're 2 days ahead. So CU Next Tuesday. But you get the idea!
Melania hosts the UN Security Council for the first time. Official doco “Fisted by First Lady!” a huge hit online! 
Plus Canada PM Mark Carney brings sexy back. So much trade! So many routes! Bi-lateral relations go deep!
In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee*
*Just two middle-aged halfwits, wittering

Say hi to us by email at [email protected]

Or be heard everywhere - including by the many progeny of Ashby-de-la-Zouch - with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page!: www.instantexperts.com.au  

All complaints to [email protected]

Audio produced and mixed by Junior

Episode edited by The Honk, with intermittent assistance from the Guantanamo Babe and Abull Sheyeet, Islamic Iran Information Centre (Non-Murder of Own Population Div.) 
All scripts wrongly attributed by The Honk to Stevie Wonder
Digital design + social media by Guantanamo Babe. Bless you!
Kyle Sandilands' 'All Muzzis Iz C*ntzs' out now only on Reddit!
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