INSTANT EXPERTS - the latest news, explained by idiots

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To watch the video version on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Vxx9PQP2LqY
In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits & Morons:
After 249 gruelling days of no-one bombing the sh*t out of each other, Israel, Iran and The US are ready for MIDDLE EAST ELIMINATION CHAMBER - the WWE/WW3 co-production everyone's talking about!
It’s Mania in Mesopotamia as the Tigris and Euphrates square off at last! Who’s the greatest river of them all? Shatt Al-Arab reports! 
Can *anyone* beat Donald “The Predator” Trump and his signature move - The MASSIVE DUMP from on high?
Will Honk’s minesweeper get him safely to his deal of a lifetime at the Taj Dubai - Or will a big hostile torpedo penetrate The Dire Straits of Hormuz / Epstein?
All this & more in another bumper episode of 'Instant Experts', hailed by critics as "more out of their depth than ever!":
We share our fascinating insights into the shitshow in Iran! Or is it just a fracas? An imbroglio? One thing fo’ sho’. It ain’t no wo’! Not for another 59 days anyway!
US Defence Sec Pete Hegseth gets bombed at Davo’s, while the Sri Lankan First VIII rows out to rescue the 32 survivors of the Iranian ship he just wasted! 
Newly ex-Homeland Security Sec Kristi Noem deports radio's Jackie O to El Salvador (and shoots her dog) while Kristi and Kyle Sandilands contemplate career next steps. Have they tried LinkedIn4 F*ckwits.com?
Israel says CU Next Thursday to Hezbollah! Except since their Sabbath is Friday, they're 2 days ahead. So CU Next Tuesday. But you get the idea!
Melania hosts the UN Security Council for the first time. Official doco “Fisted by First Lady!” a huge hit online! 
Plus Canada PM Mark Carney brings sexy back. So much trade! So many routes! Bi-lateral relations go deep!
In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee*
*Just two middle-aged halfwits, wittering

Say hi to us by email at [email protected]

Or be heard everywhere - including by the many progeny of Ashby-de-la-Zouch - with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page!: www.instantexperts.com.au  

All complaints to [email protected]

Audio produced and mixed by Junior

Episode edited by The Honk, with intermittent assistance from the Guantanamo Babe and Abull Sheyeet, Islamic Iran Information Centre (Non-Murder of Own Population Div.) 
All scripts wrongly attributed by The Honk to Stevie Wonder
Digital design + social media by Guantanamo Babe. Bless you!
Kyle Sandilands' 'All Muzzis Iz C*ntzs' out now only on Reddit!
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Video version of episode here!: https://youtu.be/G3d7tFVI5Nc
It’s State of the Union time and the Crooks, F***wits and Morons are winning more than ever!
United States Supreme Court rules President Trump’s 15% tariff on IQ Tests illegal! He’s stuck on 85 - or was that 58? - and needs urgent tuition from WhatsApp maths guru Henry Li!
Honk and Henry wade through more Epstein Files only to find key interviews with Trump accuser missing! If that’s not exoneration, we don’t know what is. Assuming 'exoneration' means GUILTY AS HELL!
Industrial terrorists The Construction Forestry Mining and Energy Union join forces with The Crooks F***wits and Morons Union to form c*nty supergroup The CCFFMMEUU! VicGov chips in $15b saying “it was supposed to be $10b but it’s time-and-half”
US Dept of Justice gags Epstein victims but loses shock legal battle with Georgia the Gentoo Penguin! Says Georgia: “My Island will be Heard!"
And in sport, the US Men’s Ice Hockey Team celebrates gold with ceremonial punching out of teeth, then goes down on Trump like Pam B under a lectern!

All this and so much more in another bumper episode of the show critics say is  "inexplicably still being made":
Jez from Ouagadougou risks everything for love - the love of a Big Turk called Cockburn!
Honk pulls the US Constitution out of his daks - or was it his arse? - and STILL understands it better than The President!
Referral queen 'Di from Bondi' proves herself a far superior human to Pam from Bondi - mind you that's not hard!
Kings Charles I, II, III contemplate their collective ill fortune. Forget “Divorced, beheaded, died” - try “Beheaded, poisoned, brother to a child molester!”
Honk’s Tourette’s, Klan Membership kick in again mid-episode. Henry feels sorry for the ***** ******* ****!
And Winter Olympics champ Eileen Gu splits the atom with thanks to Tencent, Alibaba and New York Fashion Week!

In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee*
*Just two middle-aged white guys killing you softly with our drivel. (Vale Roberta Flack) 

Say hi to us by email at: [email protected]

Or be heard everywhere including numerous regions of Romania, with a voicemail to play on the show, done right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au  

All complaints to: [email protected]

Audio produced, mixed and compiled by Junior 

Episode edited by DoJ staffer who left one of the interviews with Trump’s accuser in the files, with intermittent assistance from The Guantanamo Babe and The Honk

Digital design & social media by The Guantanamo Babe. Legend!
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It’s the FIRST EVER VIDEO EDITION OF INSTANT EXPERTS! And like us, more Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons have revealed themselves!
Ex-Prince Andrew swaps underage girls for well-endowed cellmates! Now we know why it’s called “His Majesty’s Prison”!
President Gerald Ford makes a shock return to US foreign policy! Watch out Iran - there’s nothing more dangerous than a dead man with guns!
The Epstein Files end more careers. Including that of The DoJ’s Chief Redacter, who XXXXX Trump XXXXX Bondi XXXXX paedophiles!
And, like the Winter Olympics, the Aussie Liberal Party runs out of condoms. Cos it’s completely f*cked!
All this and more in another bumper episode critics are calling "Really? That's what they look like? Good lord":
The Aussie T20 World Cup cricket team loses to Andorra, Liechtenstein and San Marino - we preview their must-win clash against Vatican City!
Norwegian sports legend Johannes Høsflot Klæbo skis into history, winning The Romp In The Snow 12-1 over Canada’s plucky Wild Beavers!  The footage was quite something, but sadly our correspondent was too drunk to report!
Aussie bank Westpac kidnaps the late Mother Teresa as collateral for $3 loan to her orphanage - “Rules are rules and dead nuns are a credit risk!” 
Louisiana legend Rutledge Deas IV challenges President Trump to world’s first “Dump Off” - ahead of heavyweight clash, Trump calls his Big Mac-fuelled preparation “very strong”
And The Rev Jesse Jackson sings his last number - the timeless classic “Sorry About the Illegitimate Child, Darling, Please Focus on My Overall Career”
In the comedy show with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee* 
*Just two middle-aged white guys, with a podcast, sitting in front of a camera, asking you to listen
Say hi to us by email at [email protected]
Or be heard everywhere (except Darwin!), with a voicemail to play on the show, recorded right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au 
All complaints to [email protected]
Produced, mixed and compiled by Junior
Edited by The Flying Scotsman, with intermittent assist by The Honk and also Epstein's super close friend XXXXX
Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe. Thank you!
Listen to or Watch us anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast
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It’s Season 2 of Instant Experts and, like us, the Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons have gone next-level:
Trump successfully takes over Venezuela - a mysterious land of high-quality coke and low-quality oil!
Trump unsuccessfully takes over Greenland and Minnesota - mysterious lands of fire, ICE and getting shot in the face! 
Canada PM Mark Carney dumps Trump; In Aussie politics, The Nats dump The Libs; Trump dumps Norwegian PM Orm Bjorn Ulfurhydrodin; and hot Norwegian WAG dumps love rat biathlete Thorbjorn Sinjonsinjonssonssonson - you shot your last shot, vennen min!
All this and so much more in our bumper comeback special:
US AG Pam Bondi takes a break from drinking the blood of small children to protect the 1400 rich guys in The Epstein Files r*ping them
Seriously, the new batch of The Epstein Files is F*CKED UP. And half are still redacted! The Honk does a deep dive, then pukes into a very large bucket
Washed up WWE star Bad Bunny tries his hand at music instead. Get real amigo! You've got a better chance of winning the Super Bowl
Meanwhile at TPUSA Circle Jerk LX, Kid Rock lip synchs his smash hit 'Balls In Your Mouth' - with Trump’s balls in *his* mouth! Let’s hope the Presidential Diaper was clean!
And in long overdue good news, a 13yo Aussie hero swims 4 hours through shark-infested waters to save his Mum. What a champion! Celebrate with Guns 'n'  Roses 'Sweet Child O' Mine' like you never heard it except in hell
In the comedy podcast with all the latest news explained by idiots - The Honk & Henry Lee. We’re tanned, rested and on parole! 

Say hi to us by email at [email protected]

Or be heard around the world with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au 
Maybe you’ll become famous in Darwin!

All complaints to [email protected]

Produced, mixed and compiled by Junior 
Episode edited by Delcy Rodriguez, with intermittent assistance from The Honk* 
*Once again, Maria Machado not invited. But Honk appreciated the medal. 

Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe

Good luck Jake Paul in his upcoming James Van Der Beek fight!
Listen to or Watch us anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast
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In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:
Stupid F***ing Terrorist C**ts murder 15 people at Bondi Beach.
Aussie leaders experience brain, backbone shortage. It’s an Islamic Terrorism problem, stupid!
Henry stands up to 'Stand Up To Hate' campaign by hating f***ing terrorist c**ts. Standing up.
Did we mention Australia has an Islamist Terrorism problem? Sorry Allegra, we do. Because they’re f***wits who want to kill Jews and destroy western civilisation.  C**ts.
Albo, please re-read Items 1-4. Repeatedly. 

All this and a tiny little bit more:
The Honk shares his Short History of The Lubavitch: “It was fine. Then they killed us. Then we came back. Then they killed more of us. BUT, MUTHAFUCKAS, WE WILL NOT DIE!!!” - Get your copy of “Suck On That Haters” for Chanukah or Christmas. Out now in all good Shuls and Bookstores!
Henry explains the difference between Prejudice and Postjudice. 15 DEAD BODIES!!! F***ing Terrorist C**ts!! 
Hercules tells Sophocles he wishes he had the Testi-cles of Boris & Sofia Gurman, Ahmed Al Ahmed, Gefen Bitton and Reuven Morrison. Heroes all!
We thank our listeners through the year. Individually. Doesn’t take long.
Except we were heard in 654 locations in 88 countries! So there! Suck on that Haters II! And thank you all sincerely. Really!! 
Plus, a short review of the year. Basically Trump’s a c**t, the Wests Tigers are sh*t, and Darwin is a tongueless tasteless hellhole with no redeeming features. Until it finally sends us a listener! In which case it’s the real outback, the beating heart of Australia, the gateway to the North, our entry point to the Asian Century and we bloody love the place!
In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee! (Sajid Akram stuck in 'paradise'*^ rimming Nick Fuentes' sh*tstained a**hole for all eternity)

Saying hi? Email: [email protected]

Or Leave Us a Voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au 

All complaints c/o Bubba The Well-Endowed Cellmate at: [email protected]

Produced, mixed, compiled and edited by Junior

Episode edited by The Rebbe (z"l) with assistance from The Honk

Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe
Listen to or Watch us anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast
Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au
Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA
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