INSTANT EXPERTS - the latest news, explained by idiots

Send us a text here!In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:Stupid F***ing Terrorist C**ts murder 15 people at Bondi Beach.Aussie leaders experience brain, backbone shortage. It’s an Islamic Terrorism problem, stupid!Henry stands up to 'Stand Up To Hate' campaign by hating f***ing terrorist c**ts. Standing up.Did we mention Australia has an Islamist Terrorism problem? Sorry Allegra, we do. Because they’re f***wits who want to kill Jews and destroy western civilisation.  C**ts.Albo, please re-read Items 1-4. Repeatedly. All this and a tiny little bit more:The Honk shares his Short History of The Lubavitch: “It was fine. Then they killed us. Then we came back. Then they killed more of us. BUT, MUTHAFUCKAS, WE WILL NOT DIE!!!” - Get your copy of “Suck On That Haters” for Chanukah or Christmas. Out now in all good Shuls and Bookstores!Henry explains the difference between Prejudice and Postjudice. 15 DEAD BODIES!!! F***ing Terrorist C**ts!! Hercules tells Sophocles he wishes he had the Testi-cles of Boris & Sofia Gurman, Ahmed Al Ahmed, Gefen Bitton and Reuven Morrison. Heroes all!We thank our listeners through the year. Individually. Doesn’t take long.Except we were heard in 654 locations in 88 countries! So there! Suck on that Haters II! And thank you all sincerely. Really!! Plus, a short review of the year. Basically Trump’s a c**t, the Wests Tigers are sh*t, and Darwin is a tongueless tasteless hellhole with no redeeming features. Until it finally sends us a listener! In which case it’s the real outback, the beating heart of Australia, the gateway to the North, our entry point to the Asian Century and we bloody love the place!In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee! (Sajid Akram stuck in 'paradise'*^ rimming Nick Fuentes' sh*tstained a**hole for all eternity)Saying hi? Email: [email protected] Leave Us a Voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au All complaints c/o Bubba The Well-Endowed Cellmate at: [email protected], mixed, compiled and edited by JuniorEpisode edited by The Rebbe (z"l) with assistance from The HonkDigital design & social media by Guantanamo BabeListen to us anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

Send us a text here!In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:The Honk returns from London, needs 10 days to recover!: "One was tired!" US Def Sec Pete Hegseth shoots two defenceless feet dead in open ocean: “I thought my legs were armed, your Honour!”ICE rounds up more Black Admirals, Generals: "Zey Ver Owr Orderz!"World's worst team Wests Tigers finds 50 more ways to lose their fans, matches, lovers Plus so much more from the worst week ever (until Sun Dec 14, Bondi Beach):'Instant Experts' huge in Dagestan - Thanks to listener Donitrumpinov Magamoronov!FIFA awards inaugural “Bunga Bunga Prize In Memory Jeffrey Epstein” to Donald J Trump, Esq - Congratulations Mr President! (of FIFA)Sen. Mark Kelly wears his 2487 combat medals in wrong order, Pete Hegseth arrays his 2 medals right! Who's the war hero now? (Still Mark Kelly) Actually wait a second, is “Cheating” better than “Stealing”? Where’s my “Drinking” Medal? Did it come off in the fight? I don’t remember too much about last night, Officer, to be honest with you...Marco Rubio declares war on woke fonts Calibri, Arial, Galadriel - “If you can read it, I don’t want it!" All correspondence must now be in 'Fuhrer' on pure white paper in pure white inkCongress worries US drug boat attacks breach international law - Donald Trump Jr. worries US drug boat attacks really f*ck next weekend in MoscowHenry hits Mead Tent at Royal Melbourne - "Rory McIroy can't drink for shit!"Honk narrowly misses Wests Tigers Chairmanship - Power panel Dumbo the Elephant, Bozo the Clown felt King Wizard the Lizard Gizzard offered more New Epstein Files release reveal super cool Spotify Wrap Listening Age of 9!  And in our first ever Instant Experts 'Brainteaser' - There are exactly 27 C*nts in this week's episode. Can you find them all? Grab a King & Wood summer clerk for help. CCP's good at this stuff! (Hint: start in 'C*nt of the Week'. Too many to mention but heaps of regulars like Donald, ICE, and Diddy; Jeffrey coming soon!)In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk & Henry Lee! (Arnie the Dog STILL a regretful apology. Owner recovering from ex-gf's impro dick surgery) Saying hi? Email: [email protected] Leave Us a Voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au All complaints to: [email protected], mixed, compiled and edited by JuniorAdditional Editing by The Honk. Ably assisted by 54 hrs of Warren Zevon, Briny CocaineDigital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe'Keith' by Playlunch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PTvxw4fc9M&feature=youtu.beListen to us anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

Send us a text here!In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:Mark Epstein: Trump never blew Clinton - "Certainly not Bill anyway".Epstein discharge petition scrapes through House 218-217, but Transparency Bill 427-1. Who the fuck votes Yes AND No, people?!!!US Def Sec Pete Hegseth defends new 'OPERATION GAYLORD': "It's the first name of the great Major Boner of Fort Dick's, you ignoramuses! He was a hard man!!”Mark Epstein clarifies: Trump never blew *any* Clinton - "Bottomed for one or both of 'em maybe, but that's it." And in sport, Ireland and Scotland qualify for World Cups in football, drinking and hysterical screaming of gibberish! SLAINTE!Plus, from the week Epstein victims are calling 'comparatively delightful':Saudis at White House State Dinner sneak steak home in tiny piecesMrs Khashoggi accidentally kills Prince Mohammed Bin Salman, Trump driving monster truck into Oval Office - "Hey, things happen!" "Profoundly misled" Robert Towne demands "Chinatown" Oscar back from Townsville City Council. Council: “Things happen!”Jersey gets a Guernsey for income not EarnesySwiss gift Trump gold ingot, Rolex; decline kind offer of suckjobTariffs magically reduce and increase US trade deficit, AND  increase and reduce food prices*. (*also Voted Yes, No on Epstein bill)Diplomatic spat sees US Treas. Sec Scott Bessent blame Mexican cows for high beef prices. Mexican cows blame high Scott Bessent!The Ashes are underway and we have 2 Adelaide Test tix to give away, except you have to pay face value and collect in a black Suzuki Vitara.And so much more! In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk & Henry Lee! (Arnie The Dog a regretful No).Saying hi? Email: [email protected] Leave Us a Voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au All complaints to: [email protected], mixed, compiled and edited by Junior Incoherent Remix by South Australian Senior of the Year Hosting C*ntsDigital design & social media by Guantanamo BabeNo-one at Instant Experts is or has ever been a meteorologistMark Epstein reclarifies: "Clintons defs doubleteamed Trump hard but 100% no BJ"  Listen to us anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

Send us a text here!In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:Epstein Files release vote goes to Congress: “It’ll be the first bill we’ve read in years!”Trump prepares Epstein defence: “I asked for 18 but Jeff gave me 20% off!”2020 Stolen Election hoaxsters are pardoned: “We just can’t fucking count, ok?”President Thomas Jefferson strongly denies slave mistress/kids slur in brave new memoir “Brown Sugar (How Come You Taste So Good?)”Plus, Democrats enlist Survivor legend Richard Hatch to run against Trump: “We need a man we can trust!”All this and so much more from the worst week ever til next Monday:David Attenborough survives Henry’s murder attempt - “This, viewers, is the all-Australian Idiot...”BBC settles Trump lawsuit by seconding Barcelona listener “Manuel” to White House - We smell a rat!Trump Wine selling like crazy at Coast Guard chandlery - “We get 50 nautical miles to the gallon!”French star Beau Jolais releases 2025 Thanksgiving porno "Top Notes of Cherry” Lily Allen new album surprise hit with middle aged married guys who “just want to change it up a bit”. Except David Harbour!Lawyer Sidney Powell alleges 'clear vote fraud' by jury in trial of new client Jonathan Braun - "drug-dealing, wife-bashing, kid-pushing, synagogue-fighting and nanny-jizzing do not make him a criminal!"WWE's John Cena fights Big Oil, Big Tobacco, Corruption that goes all the way to the top, to finally win Double Bay 40-49yo Contract Bridge cup (partnered w Consultant Emeritus “The Edgecliff Hammer” Dr Maltz)Bollywood superstar Amit Khan battles KISS stickman Eric Carr to be Undisputed AI Intercuntinental Champion! On world-class undercard, noted sexism victim Megyn Kelly gives more than she gotAND, Eva loses “World’s Worst Braun” title to secret grandson Jonathan - On the upside he’ll spend the next 27 months in a bunkerIn the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk & Henry Lee (Rudy Giuliani at Hilton International...squash courts, SA)Saying hi? Email: [email protected] Leave Us a Voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au All complaints to: [email protected], edited and compiled by Junior Additional editing by The Honk, ably assisted by Sergeant Himmler, NSW Police Jewish Community Liaison, Buchenwald Digital design & social media by Guantanamo BabeAll episodes of Instant Experts proudly mixed at The Resolute Desk, when not being used as a pool tableListen to us anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

Send us a text here!In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:Not Since O.J.!: Trump hit by legal shit sandwich as DC Sando-Terrorist walks free in shock loss of Trial of the Millenium - But if the sub don’t hit, you must acquit!How Could NY Elect a 34yo Who Never Molested, Defrauded Anyone?!: Patience, people!Trump ices trade deal with China: “How you like that one, Soy Boy?!”Hardman Xi : “Frankly Don, I thought it'd be bigger!Oasis Cowers At The Tower!: The Towering Majesty of Warren Zevon that is!, as Kid Rock releases original new hit, “Wonderwalls of London”Also from the worst week since... actually they're all pretty f*cked atm:Kash Patel’s PJ BJ as he slides into Nashville for All-American booty call - Taxpayers’ dollars finally getting some action from Trump regime!Grieving widow Erika Kirk opens up to VP BJ Vance at conservative fundraiser “Anal for America” - Couch was not amusedUsha Vance has candle in window hoping Erik the Viking dips his wick - Too long the Second Lady has had an icy waistland!Jake from Woodlands brings knife to gunfight, Joy Division Tshirt to Britpop concert!Lady Rebecca declines Acting Chief Justice offer of footlong Hoagie in favour of 6 inch sub with great diction!Doobie Brothers' Michael McDonald responds to Instant Experts' diss of NPR Tiny Desk 'Takin' It To The Streets' performance - "Who??"  Amit Khan to make acting return in Bollywood epic “George W’s Bush” - '12th Man' star Aril Mardarfarkar to play Dick Cheney as 84 y.o. child Henry barely survives '93 Melbourne Cup as Honk misses '25 entirely - And yes there’s a woman to blame!Far Right Nick Fuentes En Fuego in new seg 'Amit Khan of the Week' - Fear not ladies, he was begging for it!Ronald Reagan's corpse declines Treasury Sec Scott Bessent tariff street fight citing pre-agreed Ayahuasca weekend with Henry LeeAndrew Cuomo political aspirations focussed on Hornbag County, VALily Allen ex- David Harbour campaign for Prince Andrew County, VA to focus on 'needs of women and youth' - "I'll take on all comers"Family of late Vice President Dick Cheney requests that in lieu of flowers all mourners shoot best friend in face with buckshot at close range In the comedy podcast with all the  latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk & Henry Lee! (Tucker Carlson still stuck in Nuremberg, 1938) Saying hi? Email: [email protected] Leave Us a Voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au All complaints to: [email protected], mixed, compiled and edited by Junior Additional Editing by The Honk. Except in daylight hoursDigital design & social media by Guantanamo BabeConfidentiel! Le nouveau password du Musee du Louvre c'est: la vieAmit Khan appears courtesy of Yueet Maiarz, Phil McCavity ManagementListen to us anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971