Proper True Yarn

Drake has cycled more money through a betting account in one month than most towns are worth, and he still can't pick a winner.
Zak's got Google out and we're going through the whole lot. A 37% strike rate. $770k on Canada. $1.5 million on Argentina to beat Spain, and Spain get up 1-0 in extra time. A million dollars on Argentina to beat France in 2022. Argentina win, and he still loses on a technicality. And then the one that started the whole curse conversation: a million on Conor McGregor against Max Holloway at UFC 329, and Conor's leg goes seconds into the comeback.
The UFC and boxing list is brutal. Tyson. Usyk. Tommy Fury. Adesanya. He does win occasionally, Izzy in the rematch and Jon Jones by submission, but the man once posted a screenshot showing $124.5 million wagered in thirty days.
Then we go looking for the biggest punts ever laid. Mattress Mack turning a $3 million bet into $75 million US when the Astros took the 2022 World Series, which is $117 million in real money. And a bloke in 1980 who walked into the Horseshoe with a suitcase holding $777,000, put the lot on one roll of the dice, and won.
Baked beans or rib fillet. The choice is yours.
#propertrueyarn
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The last two fights on the card, and the main event is a bloke who fights for a living against a bloke who eats for a living.
🎟️ TICKETS → alphaevents.com.au, hit the Fight Night button.
Fight 12: Zayden Bryant (Dead Arse) vs BJ Wallace (Into The Green). Not heavyweights. Super heavyweights. Zayden got the call and went straight into gorilla mode, heavy bench, heavy squats, heavy deadies — and had to be told he's boxing, not entering a strongman. He's got Bryce in his corner and half of Rocky behind him. BJ's the lawn care king, a genuinely great bloke, and enormous with hands to match. Neither of us reckons this sees the end of three rounds.
Fight 13: THE MAIN EVENT. Jock vs Jimmy Judge (Judgement Entertainment). Jimmy's got about 18 amateur fights. Jock's had roughly 800 and doesn't care who's holding the other pair of gloves, big, small, day or night, he'll bash blokes in a paddock. Jock's movement is genuinely slick. Jimmy hits like a truck, and when he commits to something he goes all the way down, you've seen the assault bike stuff. But Jock's running his own promotion up in Yeppoon at the same time, and we both know what a thousand other things on your plate does to a fight camp.
Then everything else: the free live show the night before, the press conference, the Sunday sesh at the casino, a celebrity singing the national anthem, and a bloke potentially flying in from Norway for one chant. Sam O'Connor's skipping being best man at a wedding to fight on this card. That's the level.
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Three fights this episode, and one of them we genuinely cannot call.
Fight 9: Tylen Wallace vs Josh Moss. Reef versus beef. Josh is off Love Island Australia and the No Hard Feelings podcast, all his photos are at the ocean, and right now he's training somewhere between Japan and Barcelona. Tylen's in a paddock. Tylen took last year's fight on a four week call-up straight off the farm, copped a hiding to the neck and just kept walking forward. Both of us are backing the bloke with the mongrel.
Fight 10: Liam Moore vs Nathan "Curly" Marks. Liam off the Inspired Unemployed Impractical Jokers, who in last year's card didn't just win, he looked like an actual pro boxer, two pros sitting next to Knuckles were calling his setups before he threw them. Against Curly, who lives in his van, won the Oak milk challenge, and has fought half the trades in the country. Zak's got him because he trains at Undisputed under current world champions. Knuckles reckons he's never met a structured fighter yet. This one splits us.
Fight 11: Jeremy Latimore vs Jarrod Wallace. Nelson's Knockout Bout. One Queenslander, one from New South Wales, both flattened by Nelson Asofa-Solomona, both with everything to prove, and the whole fight is really about who's second to Nelson. Knuckles was ringside for both and walked out with Latsy. It's like your parents breaking up, you can't pick a side, and we had to.
#propertrueyarn
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First up the tag team, The Better Bloke Project's Matt Rogers and Rob Sutherland against Now Thats Dramas' Tommy Allen and Brody Hetherington. Except the card might not stay that way. If Matt's out and Big Kyle steps in, everything flips. Kyle got fed to Latsy last year and got well and truly smoked, but twelve months training out of Undisputed Boxing is a long time. There's also a rumour going round about Matt and bare knuckle. Can't confirm, can't deny.
Then Fight 8, the Seven Man Blindfold, where the defending champ is Ben Pettingill: blind, undisputed, and one of the best humans either of us has ever met. Which makes it awkward, because we're sending two fighters in against him: Casey, one of the best electricians in the world, and Johnny Rayner, the Mudgee lumberjack with the swollen budgie.
Strategy discussed at length: hooks over straights, and whether dick punching is legal. It is not clear that it is not.
#propertrueyarn
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We got the two Proper True Yarn boys sorted last episode. Now we need to know what we're up against.
So Knuckles got on the blower mid-shoot and rang every director on the card to find out who they've thrown into the Seven Man Blindfold : and why.
Buster's crew have gone with Welchie, a Cargill farmer who was told 75 to 95 kilos, turned up at 105, and is now sitting at 94. He's also carrying the world's biggest testicle, which four of us have signed. One side of it. And Joey, a four-foot-eleven butcher with a big head and small hands who missed out on the antweight and is now planning to sucker punch his way through a field he can't see. Six bruised navels incoming.
The Alpha Blokes have gone Team Double Champ : Tommy Duncan and Davey Cook, both double champs, one of them the owner of the only ABC pokie machine ever made.
And then there's Ben Pettingill. Blind. Defending champion. Undisputed. Every single person on this call rates him as a bloke and reckons he's going to get done anyway.
#propertrueyarn
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