Proper True Yarn

A 22 seater fixed wing, four hours, no toilet, and you can't stand up in it. That was the ride home every swing.
So the boys would hit the bottle-o before the hangar, sink tins waiting for the plane, keep going once they were on it, and bring an empty Gatorade bottle for the obvious reason. One bloke had about six beers after a ten hour shift, filled his bottle, and kept going. The plane sits on a slight angle. Everyone's in boots so nobody notices. The admin lady up the front had her shoes off.
That's the flight they got banned from drinking on. They drank anyway.
Then the other one. They flew directly into one of the biggest dust storms in New South Wales history, dropped what Zak reckons was a thousand feet in one hit, and the bloke next to him wasn't belted in. Zak watched him go into the roof and stay there. He watched the pilots come out of their seats. He rang his mum. Fifteen minutes of it, a crosswind landing at 45 degrees, a go around straight back into it, and a pilot of 35 years standing on the tarmac afterwards saying that was the worst turbulence he'd ever experienced and he thought they were dead.
Cheers, cunt. So did we.
Which is why the episode ends where it does. When they tell you to belt up, it isn't because they're wankers.
#propertrueyarn
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Zak spent years underground before he got into coal, and the mine he won't name was the most eye opening job of his life.
There was a bloke dealing gear out of a lunchbox in the workshop. There was a group of them at it, and they never got caught, because between them they had fake dicks and bottles of clean piss ready to go. Right up until the day the site tested everyone in the morning, brought them all back up to the surface mid shift, and tested them again.
There's a fitter knocking on Zak's door at four in the morning holding an oil sample bottle. There's a bloke sitting in a jumbo in his jocks because it was too hot, doing racks, because he was bored waiting for a sparky. There's a fist fight that broke out beside Zak while he had his hands in a thousand volt cabinet. There's a store lady, a diesel fitter, and a set of cameras that nobody told them about.
And there's a leading hand who was asked to fill a condom, filled it right to the brim, and got it slapped straight back across him.
Underneath all of it: Zak started having nightmares about the roof coming in. That's why he moved to coal.
#propertrueyarn
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Drake has cycled more money through a betting account in one month than most towns are worth, and he still can't pick a winner.
Zak's got Google out and we're going through the whole lot. A 37% strike rate. $770k on Canada. $1.5 million on Argentina to beat Spain, and Spain get up 1-0 in extra time. A million dollars on Argentina to beat France in 2022. Argentina win, and he still loses on a technicality. And then the one that started the whole curse conversation: a million on Conor McGregor against Max Holloway at UFC 329, and Conor's leg goes seconds into the comeback.
The UFC and boxing list is brutal. Tyson. Usyk. Tommy Fury. Adesanya. He does win occasionally, Izzy in the rematch and Jon Jones by submission, but the man once posted a screenshot showing $124.5 million wagered in thirty days.
Then we go looking for the biggest punts ever laid. Mattress Mack turning a $3 million bet into $75 million US when the Astros took the 2022 World Series, which is $117 million in real money. And a bloke in 1980 who walked into the Horseshoe with a suitcase holding $777,000, put the lot on one roll of the dice, and won.
Baked beans or rib fillet. The choice is yours.
#propertrueyarn
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The last two fights on the card, and the main event is a bloke who fights for a living against a bloke who eats for a living.
🎟️ TICKETS → alphaevents.com.au, hit the Fight Night button.
Fight 12: Zayden Bryant (Dead Arse) vs BJ Wallace (Into The Green). Not heavyweights. Super heavyweights. Zayden got the call and went straight into gorilla mode, heavy bench, heavy squats, heavy deadies — and had to be told he's boxing, not entering a strongman. He's got Bryce in his corner and half of Rocky behind him. BJ's the lawn care king, a genuinely great bloke, and enormous with hands to match. Neither of us reckons this sees the end of three rounds.
Fight 13: THE MAIN EVENT. Jock vs Jimmy Judge (Judgement Entertainment). Jimmy's got about 18 amateur fights. Jock's had roughly 800 and doesn't care who's holding the other pair of gloves, big, small, day or night, he'll bash blokes in a paddock. Jock's movement is genuinely slick. Jimmy hits like a truck, and when he commits to something he goes all the way down, you've seen the assault bike stuff. But Jock's running his own promotion up in Yeppoon at the same time, and we both know what a thousand other things on your plate does to a fight camp.
Then everything else: the free live show the night before, the press conference, the Sunday sesh at the casino, a celebrity singing the national anthem, and a bloke potentially flying in from Norway for one chant. Sam O'Connor's skipping being best man at a wedding to fight on this card. That's the level.
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Three fights this episode, and one of them we genuinely cannot call.
Fight 9: Tylen Wallace vs Josh Moss. Reef versus beef. Josh is off Love Island Australia and the No Hard Feelings podcast, all his photos are at the ocean, and right now he's training somewhere between Japan and Barcelona. Tylen's in a paddock. Tylen took last year's fight on a four week call-up straight off the farm, copped a hiding to the neck and just kept walking forward. Both of us are backing the bloke with the mongrel.
Fight 10: Liam Moore vs Nathan "Curly" Marks. Liam off the Inspired Unemployed Impractical Jokers, who in last year's card didn't just win, he looked like an actual pro boxer, two pros sitting next to Knuckles were calling his setups before he threw them. Against Curly, who lives in his van, won the Oak milk challenge, and has fought half the trades in the country. Zak's got him because he trains at Undisputed under current world champions. Knuckles reckons he's never met a structured fighter yet. This one splits us.
Fight 11: Jeremy Latimore vs Jarrod Wallace. Nelson's Knockout Bout. One Queenslander, one from New South Wales, both flattened by Nelson Asofa-Solomona, both with everything to prove, and the whole fight is really about who's second to Nelson. Knuckles was ringside for both and walked out with Latsy. It's like your parents breaking up, you can't pick a side, and we had to.
#propertrueyarn
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