On Attachment

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In today's episode, I'm giving advice to a listener who recently stepped away from a long-term, long-distance relationship, over concerns that she and her partner were wanting different things. Despite having been the one to end things, she is grappling with the loss and having second thoughts about whether stepping away was the right choice.
I touch on a lot in my advice to her, including what's "normal" after a breakup, the courage it takes to walk away when nothing big happened, why the fear of regret can cloud our judgment, and under what circumstances a reconciliation is a good idea.
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Pre-order my book, The Secure Self
In today's episode, we're talking about self-abandonment and what it really takes to shift away from these well-worn patterns into a more secure version of ourselves that is grounded in self-worth.
We discuss why self-abandonment feels so natural to many of us with anxious attachment patterns, the importance of self-compassion, building nervous system capacity, advocating for our needs from a steady place, and building self-trust.
My book, The Secure Self, is now available for pre-order! Head to stephanierigg.com/book to claim your exclusive bonus package for free as a pre-order gift with purchase.

In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm giving advice to a listener who is feeling a lot of shame and self-blame for their role in the breakdown of a relationship, which they've come to recognise after working on themselves post-break-up. I share some thoughts on why shame and blame can be so tempting, but also how it blocks us from truly learning the lessons of our break-up and changing our patterns going forward. I also offer some honest advice on whether it's a good idea to reach out to your ex to share what you've learned about yourself since the break-up.

So many people will know the frustration of wanting to work on your relationship and being met with resistance, shutdown, or disengagement from a partner. When your sincere attempts at getting through and finding a path forward aren't landing, it's easy to feel hopeless—and confused as to what it means for your future.
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on this predicament, as well as tips for breaking through the impasse and how you can find your way back to centre irrespective of whether your partner comes to the table.
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Free resources for anxious attachment
Free masterclass on breaking the anxious-avoidant cycle

In today's episode, we're talking about retroactive jealousy — being an excessive preoccupation with a partner's romantic and/or sexual history, and feelings of intense insecurity and comparison as a result. This is a really common experience (one I used to struggle with myself!), particularly among those with anxious attachment patterns who already experience a hypervigilance to perceived relational threats coupled with low self-esteem and a fear of abandonment.
We'll talk about how retroactive jealousy is often a branch off the "unworthiness" tree, and why starting there — with tending to our low self-worth — is often the fix.
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Free resources for healing anxious attachment
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