Conversations with Kristi

In this episode of Conversations with Kristi, Kristi is joined by Rosalia Rivera - founder of Consent Parenting, consent educator, and survivor advocate - for a deeply important conversation about prevention, healing, and the responsibility adults hold in protecting children.

Rosalia shares her lived experience of childhood sexual abuse and how becoming a parent resurfaced memories she didn’t yet have language for. Together, Kristi and Rosalia explore why so many parents avoid child safety conversations - whether through fear, overwhelm, or the belief that “this doesn’t happen in our family” - and how both avoidance and overprotection can leave children vulnerable.

This episode unpacks how grooming operates in plain sight, why children communicate harm through behaviour, and how trauma-informed, age-appropriate conversations can dramatically reduce risk. It’s a hopeful, empowering discussion that centres education as a form of freedom - not fear.

This is not about paranoia.
It’s about prevention, connection, and courage.

⚠️ Content Warning

This episode includes discussion of:

childhood sexual abuse

family and domestic violence

grooming behaviours

trauma responses

online and peer-to-peer sexual harm

Some listeners may find this content confronting. Please listen with care and pause or step away if needed. Support resources are listed below.

Key Themes Covered

Why “not my child” thinking places children at risk

How unhealed adult trauma can impact prevention efforts

Grooming behaviours in family, community, and online settings

Why children often communicate harm through behaviour

The importance of trauma-informed education for parents

How consent, boundaries, and body safety protect all children

Why silence and discomfort benefit offenders

The long-term impacts of abuse when children are not believed

How prevention protects children and prevents future offending

Why normalising these conversations creates safer communities

Why This Conversation Matters

Child sexual abuse thrives in silence, stigma, and discomfort.

Many parents avoid these conversations - not because they don’t care, but because they feel overwhelmed, triggered, or unsure where to start. This episode reminds us that education doesn’t create harm - it reduces it.

By noticing behaviour, asking questions, and having ongoing, age-appropriate conversations, adults can interrupt grooming, support disclosure, and create environments where children feel safe to speak.

Prevention is possible - and it starts at home.

Practical Support & Resources

If this episode has raised questions about how to start protective, trauma-informed conversations with children, Kristi has created practical tools to support parents and carers.

🔗 Explore resources and education: 👉 www.kristimcvee.com

Resources include:

conversation guides for parents

body safety education tools

support for having calm, protective conversations without fear or overwhelm

You can also explore Rosalia Rivera’s work at:
👉 www.consentparenting.com

Support Services (Australia)

If you or someone you love needs support, help is available:

Lifeline - 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au

1800RESPECT (sexual assault, domestic & family violence) - 1800 737 732 or 1800respect.org.au

Kids Helpline (ages 5–25) - 1800 55 1800 or kidshelpline.com.au

If you are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services.

In this episode of Conversations with Kristi, Kristi speaks with Andrew Goss about the lifelong impact of childhood abuse - and the role silence, minimisation, and adult neutrality play in allowing harm to continue.

Andrew shares his lived experience of family violence, sexual abuse (including female offending), and the repeated moments where warning signs were visible - but not acted upon. Together, Kristi and Andrew explore why children often try to communicate harm through behaviour, how grooming operates across different contexts, and why asking questions early can interrupt abuse before it escalates.

This is not a sensational conversation.
It’s a necessary one.

⚠️ Content Warning

This episode includes discussion of:

childhood sexual abuse

family and domestic violence

grooming behaviours

trauma responses

Some listeners may find this content confronting. Please listen with care and step away if needed. Support resources are listed below.

Key Themes Covered

Why silence and “staying neutral” is not harmless

How children communicate harm through behaviour

Grooming behaviours across male and female offending

Why adults often dismiss or minimise warning signs

The long-term impact of not being believed

How early intervention can change outcomes

Advocacy, boundaries, and choosing how to help safely

Why This Conversation Matters

Most abuse doesn’t continue because no one notices.
It continues because adults feel uncomfortable asking questions - or assume someone else will act.

This episode invites parents, carers, and professionals to reflect on the small moments where intervention matters, and how noticing, listening, and responding early can disrupt harm.

Practical Support & Resources

If this episode has raised questions about how to start calm, age-appropriate safety conversations with children, Kristi has created practical tools to support parents and carers.

🔗 Explore resources and education:
👉 www.kristimcvee.com

Resources include:

conversation guides for parents

body safety education tools

support for having protective conversations without fear or overwhelm

Support Services (Australia)

If you or someone you love needs support, help is available:

Lifeline – 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au

1800RESPECT (sexual assault, domestic & family violence) – 1800 737 732 or 1800respect.org.au

Kids Helpline (for young people aged 5–25) – 1800 55 1800 or kidshelpline.com.au

If you are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services.

Episode Summary:

The conversation delves into the alarming risks that young people face regarding sexual violence, emphasizing the lack of awareness among parents about these issues. It highlights the prevalence of unwanted sexual encounters and the disturbing trend of children perpetrating sexual violence against their peers.

Key Takeaways:

Parents often underestimate the risks of sexual violence.

There are high rates of unwanted sexual encounters among youth.

Children can be both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence.

Awareness is crucial for prevention and protection.

Education on sexual violence should start early.

Open conversations about consent are necessary.

Support systems for victims need to be strengthened.

Community involvement is essential in addressing these issues.

Resources for parents should be more accessible.

Schools play a vital role in educating children about these risks.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction to the Conversation on Sexual Education
04:23 - Understanding Parental Challenges in Discussing Sex
07:11 - The Importance of Early Conversations
10:15 - Navigating Teachable Moments
13:22 - Age-Appropriate Discussions and Their Impact
16:26 - Counteracting Negative Influences
19:25 - Promoting Positive Sexual Relationships
22:31 - Empowering Parents to Start Conversations
25:23 - Utilising Resources for Effective Communication
28:24 - Conclusion and Encouragement for Parents
31:45 - Introduction to Child Safety Education

Episode Summary:

The conversation explores the challenges faced by the digital generation as they navigate technology independently. It emphasises the importance of introducing technology in a safe manner, akin to teaching children to swim, where they gradually gain skills and independence.

Key Takeaways:

The digital generation faces unique challenges in technology.

Children are often left to navigate technology on their own.

Introducing technology should be done safely, similar to swimming lessons.

Using apps and platforms can help develop skills in a controlled environment.

Gradual exposure to technology fosters independence in children.

Safety measures, like floaties in swimming, are essential in tech introduction.

Monitoring children while they learn technology is crucial.

As children grow, they can handle more complex tech tasks.

Skills development in technology is a gradual process.

Technology education should evolve with the child's age and abilities.

Episode Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction to Cyber Safety
02:23 - Understanding the Dangers of Online Gaming
05:17 - Navigating Parental Guidance and Restrictions
08:19 - Empowering Conversations with Children
11:46 - The Importance of Early Cyber Safety Education
15:34 - Building Trust and Open Communication
20:23 - Introducing Technology Safely
21:53 - Resources for Parents on Technology
23:46 - Establishing Family Rules for Online Safety
25:56 - Understanding App Classifications
27:48 - Reflecting on Childhood and Social Media
29:19 - Tips for Managing Screen Time
31:49 - Transitioning from Screen Time to Offline Activities
34:39 - Empowering Healthy Digital Consumption
37:12 - Introduction to Child Safety Education

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of "Conversations with Kristi," Kristi discusses the alarming rise in online child exploitation with Ben Gillenwater, an IT and cybersecurity expert. They explore the challenges parents face in protecting their children from digital dangers, emphasising the importance of education and proactive parenting. Ben shares his personal journey of becoming the "family IT guy" and offers insights into managing children's online presence safely.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

The alarming rise in online child exploitation cases, with significant increases in AI deepfakes.

The importance of proactive parenting in managing children's online presence.

Ben Gillenwater's journey from IT expert to family IT advisor.

The role of education in empowering parents and children against digital threats.

The impact of social media and online platforms on children's mental health.

Strategies for setting boundaries and expectations for children's device usage.

The significance of leading by example in digital habits.

The challenges of balancing parental control with children's privacy.

The need for open communication between parents and children about online risks.

The benefits of community and educational resources in supporting digital safety.

CHAPTERS:

00:00:00 Introduction and Background

00:06:00 The Rise of Online Exploitation

00:12:00 Ben's Journey to Family IT

00:18:00 Parenting Challenges in the Digital Age

00:24:00 Proactive Parenting Strategies

00:30:00 The Role of Education in Digital Safety

00:36:00 Managing Children's Online Presence

00:42:00 Balancing Control and Privacy

00:48:00 Community and Educational Resources

00:54:00 Final Thoughts and Takeaways



For additional resources and support services, please head to my website at https://www.cape-au.com/free-resources

You can also watch the full video version of this episode on my YouTube channel at https://youtu.be/8dg5zBwZKhs

To learn more and connect with Ben, head over to his LinkedIn page at https://www.linkedin.com/in/bgilly/ or connect with him on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/family_it_guy