Episode 12: Turning Pain into Purpose: A Mother’s Mission After Loss
In this tender and powerful conversation, Belinda sits down with Rebecca Van Damme—mother, advocate, and heart-led changemaker—for a deeply moving exploration of grief, healing, and the transformation that can emerge from unimaginable loss.Rebecca opens up about the tragic passing of her 5-year-old son, Liam, in a boating accident—a moment that forever altered the course of her life. Together, Belinda and Rebecca reflect on the moments leading up to Liam’s passing, including the unexpected silver lining of her partner Josh losing a major client—an event that gifted them precious time as a family.This episode traces Rebecca’s journey through the raw, early stages of grief, the tools and perspectives that supported her healing—including Belinda’s retreat and the profound Two Circle Method—and how she and her family continue to honour Liam’s life through celebration, legacy, and purpose.From Liam’s Ledge to Liam’s Pledge to launching a National Safe Boating Kids Campaign, Rebecca’s story is one of fierce love, vulnerability, and courage. She shares her “three values she lives by,” the powerful Jar Analogy that keeps her grounded, and the gentle words she turns to in life’s hardest moments.This episode touches on:Turning personal tragedy into meaningful advocacyThe sacred pause before loss: noticing silver liningsBelinda’s retreat, the Two Circle Method, and their ripple effectsCreating rituals to celebrate a loved oneFinding clarity in your core valuesThe journey from pain to purposeWhat to say to yourself when you feel like you can’t go onHope, healing, and the path forwardConnect with Bec’s mission for Liam at:https://www.instagram.com/liamspledge/Let's Connect:. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
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Episode 11: From High School Sweethearts to Who We Are Now 30+ Years of Love, Lessons & Growth
Belinda sits down with a very special guest—her high school sweetheart and husband, Darren. Together for over 30 years, they’ve navigated many chapters and seasons in their relationship. Today, they dive into Darren’s personal growth over the past three years, including his decision to give up drinking and how it has shaped him into the man he is today. Reflecting on his past as a former professional football player and tradie—and the strong drinking culture that often comes with both—Darren shares some of the lessons he’s learned along the way.Episode Summary:The ‘Work Hard, Play Hard, Party Hard’ mentality and its lasting effects.Darren’s advice for anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol.Why his only regret is not making this change sooner.How friendships have evolved through his journey.The surprising realizations he had on Belinda’s first Couples Retreat.His perspective on fatherhood and how his new choices have influenced it.The shift from substituting alcohol with sugar to finding a healthier outlet in training.Discovering his “herd” and the power of surrounding himself with the right people.Embracing vulnerability and the personal growth that comes with it.The biggest changes he’s experienced over the past three years.Join us for this open and inspiring conversation as Darren shares his journey of self-discovery, resilience, and transformation. If you or someone you know is navigating a similar path, this episode is filled with wisdom, encouragement, and hope.Let's Connect:. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/Belinda & Darren also occasionally share insights on their Instagram page: @midlifesoberlife
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Episode 10: Dysregulation isn’t failure. And being Zen 24/7 isn’t the goal.
Do you ever feel like no matter how much healing work you do, you still get overwhelmed, anxious, or reactive? Maybe you even catch yourself thinking, “I should be past this by now.” If so, you’re not alone.Dysregulation isn’t failure—it’s communication. Your nervous system is always working to keep you safe, and when it shifts into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, it’s responding to something—whether that’s stress, past experiences, or simply the demands of daily life.In this episode, we’re shifting the way you see dysregulation and, more importantly, giving you tools to navigate it with more awareness and self-compassion.What You’ll Learn:Why dysregulation happens and what your nervous system is trying to tell you.The biggest misconceptions about healing and nervous system regulation.How to recognize your personal signs of dysregulation before it spirals.Why avoiding discomfort keeps you stuck—and how to break free.Simple, practical tools to regulate in the moment and build resilience.Key Takeaways & Tools:✔ Recognize Your Triggers: Pay attention to physical and emotional signs like tension, shallow breathing, or feeling shut down.✔ Shift from Fixing to Listening: Instead of forcing yourself to “calm down,” ask what your system actually needs—movement, stillness, connection, or space.✔ Break the Avoidance Cycle: Small, safe steps toward discomfort teach your nervous system that you can handle it.✔ Regulation Techniques: Try grounding exercises, deep sighs, cold exposure, or humming to activate your vagus nerve and create a sense of safety.✔ Your Bounce-Back Rate Matters: Healing isn’t about never feeling dysregulated—it’s about how quickly and effectively you can return to regulation.Dysregulation is a normal part of being human. The goal isn’t to avoid it but to respond to it in a way that builds trust, resilience, and self-awareness. Every time you support yourself through it, you strengthen your nervous system and remind yourself: I am safe.Let's Connect:. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
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Episode 9: Parenting & the Nervous System – Raising Regulated Kids Starts with You
We all want to raise calm, emotionally regulated kids—but how calm and emotionally regulated are we? Kids don’t just learn from what we say; they absorb how we react, how we process emotions, and how we handle stress.If you’ve ever lost your patience, snapped, or regretted a reaction, this episode is for you. Those moments aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to learn and model repair. And if you didn’t show up in the past the way you would have liked, it’s not too late to do things differently now. Growth isn’t about getting it perfect; it’s about showing up in a new way, one moment at a time. What You’ll Learn:• Why your nervous system plays a huge role in your child’s behaviour.• How kids co-regulate with us and what that actually means.• The patterns we unconsciously pass down.• Practical ways to shift from reacting to responding with intention. Key Takeaways & Tools:✔ Regulate Yourself First – A dysregulated parent can’t teach regulation. Before correcting your child’s behaviour, check in with your own. Ask: ‘Am I reacting from stress, or am I responding from calm?’✔ Grounding Techniques for Triggers – Try breathwork, movement, cold water, or an affirmation like “Peace begins with me.”✔ Reframe Meltdowns – Instead of seeing them as bad behaviour, see them as a stress response. A child acting out is communicating an unmet need.✔ Co-Regulation First – Before jumping to solutions, focus on connection and validation. Swap “You’re okay” with “I see you’re really frustrated. That makes sense.”✔ Repair After Reacting – No parent is perfect, but modelling accountability teaches kids emotional responsibility. Saying, “I got frustrated earlier, and that wasn’t fair to you. I’m working on handling my emotions better,” helps them learn that mistakes are okay—what matters is how we own them. Raising emotionally regulated kids starts with us. The more we support our own nervous system, the easier it is to guide our children through theirs. Let's Connect:. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
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Episode 8: Self-Sabotage – Why You Hold Yourself Back & How to Break Free
Have you ever set a goal, felt motivated, and then found yourself procrastinating, overthinking, or backing out? Do you avoid opportunities, steer clear of tough conversations, or repeat patterns that no longer serve you—despite knowing better?Self-sabotage isn’t about willpower; it’s about subconscious patterns and nervous system responses keeping you stuck. In this episode, we’re unpacking why we hold ourselves back and, most importantly, how to break free.What You’ll Learn:• What self-sabotage is and how it shows up in daily life.• The link between self-sabotage and instant gratification.• Why fear, subconscious beliefs, and nervous system responses keep you stuck.• How to recognize and interrupt self-sabotaging patterns in real time.• Practical tools to rewire your brain, regulate your nervous system, and build small, safe wins.Key Takeaways & Tools:✔ Identify Your Triggers: Notice moments of hesitation or procrastination—what’s the deeper fear or belief?✔ Pattern Interrupts: Use quick shifts like clapping, snapping your fingers, or saying “Go!” to break autopilot habits.✔ Regulate Your Nervous System: Breathwork, cold exposure, and grounding exercises help create internal safety.✔ Rewire Limiting Beliefs: Shift from “I’m not ready” to “I am learning and growing.”✔ Create Small, Safe Wins: Build confidence with small, achievable steps that show your nervous system change is safe.The secret to breaking free isn’t just knowing what to do—it’s knowing how to take action. Small steps lead to big transformations.Let's Connect:. Website: www.belindaanderson.com.au. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belinda.anderson. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/belindaandersonau/
Beyond The Surface unravels the layers with thought-provoking conversations and uncomfortable truths, covering topics like inner child healing, breaking generational patterns, trauma, nervous system regulation, limiting beliefs, conscious parenting, relationships, healthy living, and more.
Hosted by internationally recognized retreat leader Belinda Anderson, who has run retreats in Australia, Bali, and Fiji for over a decade, this podcast inspires you to heal, grow, and thrive.
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