The Jordan Harbinger Show

Your sister went off her meds, fled cops, got in a bar fight, and assaulted an officer. Now she faces felonies and won't let you help. It's Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!
Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1294
On This Week's Feedback Friday:
Your sister with schizoaffective disorder went off her meds, quit her job, led cops on a chase, started a bar fight, and injured an officer — and now she's facing felony charges while refusing your help and rejecting her own public defender. How do you save someone who won't be saved?
You're pretty sure your wife's business partners are hiding financials, breaching the partnership agreement, and planning to retire while still collecting profits she earns — but she's terrified of "being mean." How do you help her find her backbone before they bleed her dry?
Your selfless 69-year-old mom is being run ragged by your sister-in-law's marathon visits — nine-hour affairs with free meals, free babysitting, and zero cleanup — and she's too kind to say a word. She even quit her fitness class. How do you protect a woman who won't protect herself?
Recommendation of the Week: Gabe recommends keeping a quick daily travel log in your phone's notes app and pinning your favorite spots on a custom Google Maps list so you can relive your trips more vividly — and share killer recs with friends headed to the same destinations.
Your six-year-old son had a helmet-throwing meltdown at Little League, and now three families — including an assistant coach — have requested he not be on their team. You practiced an apology that never happened, and Opening Day is coming. How do you handle the awkward reunion?
Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!
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Psychopathy is treatable, altruism is contagious, and 'sociopath' is a word we should probably retire. Abigail Marsh makes the case here on part 2 of 2. [Find part 1 here!]
Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1293
What We Discuss with Dr. Abigail Marsh:
Psychopathy isn't the life sentence people assume it is. Personality disorders like psychopathy and borderline are far more treatable than the popular narrative suggests, and many people with psychopathic traits actively want to change, recognizing their behavior patterns aren't working for them.
Most of the world's worst atrocities aren't committed by psychopaths — they're committed by groups of ordinary people who believe they're completely justified. The real danger isn't the remorseless loner; it's collective moral certainty that one side's aggression is righteous.
Fear is the secret bridge between altruism and psychopathy. Psychopaths don't process fear — their own or others' — while extreme altruists are hypersensitive to it. Same brain structure, different tuning, and that gap determines who rushes toward danger and who shrugs.
Our brains are survival machines, not accuracy machines — and negativity bias warps our view of humanity. Bad behavior is actually rare, but we encode it in high fidelity, leading us to wildly overestimate how selfish and dangerous other people really are.
Altruism creates ripple effects that reshape lives in ways you'd never predict. One kind response to a stranger — even an online troll — can shift someone's entire outlook. Well-being fuels generosity, and generosity fuels well-being, so start the cycle anywhere and watch it compound.
And much more... [This is part two of a two-part episode. Find part one here!]
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What separates someone who'd donate a kidney to a stranger from someone who might steal one? Abigail Marsh explains the neuroscience of fear on part 1 of 2.
Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1292
What We Discuss with Dr. Abigail Marsh:
Psychopaths don't lack all emotion — they specifically lack the ability to recognize and feel fear. Where most people see terror on someone's face, a psychopath sees something unidentifiable — a deficit that fundamentally rewires how they relate to other humans.
Many of psychology's most famous studies — the Stanford Prison Experiment, the Milgram shock test, the Kitty Genovese bystander story — turned out to be deeply flawed or outright fabricated. Humans are actually far more compassionate than these narratives suggest; CCTV data shows bystanders intervene 90% of the time.
Psychopathy isn't caused by "bad parenting" in any simple way — it's a neurodevelopmental disorder with significant genetic heritability, much like autism or ADHD. Blaming parents echoes the same harmful logic that once attributed schizophrenia to "cold mothers."
Household chaos — literal noise, inconsistent rules, revolving caregivers — makes it significantly harder for children to learn behavioral patterns. It's not just abuse that derails development; it's the inability to pick out a reliable signal from an overwhelming amount of environmental noise.
The sweet spot of effective parenting — and really, of shaping better humans — is combining genuine warmth with consistent boundaries. Love without structure breeds entitlement; structure without love breeds resentment. But together, they build the foundation for compassion and resilience in any child.
And much more... [This is part one of a two-part episode. Stay tuned for part two later this week!]
And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps!
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You've healed from self-harm and own your story. But curious kids keep asking about your scars. How honest should you be? Welcome to Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!
Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1291
On This Week's Feedback Friday:
A shoutout to Adam Aleksic, The Etymology Nerd — and his take on social media comments sections!
Five years ago, you were in the grip of an eating disorder and self-harm — but you did the hard work, went to therapy, and came out the other side stronger than ever. Now, you're navigating a new challenge: visible scars on your arms that curious strangers — and especially kids — can't help but notice. How do you honor your story and your healing without oversharing with a child who may not be ready to hear it? [Thanks to clinical psychologist Dr. Erin Margolis for helping us with this one!]
You're planning a destination wedding in the Dominican Republic, and you invited a friend more out of obligation than genuine enthusiasm — someone connected to your fiancé's family who's been radiating negativity about the whole thing ever since. Now you're wondering if this professional grievance collector is going to rain on your big weekend. How do you handle a guest who acts like she's doing you a favor by showing up?
You're one half of a high-performing creative duo at a big firm, and the work is genuinely great — when your partner, "Tom," isn't detonating at every round of notes from above. Tom can't take feedback without spiraling into a rant, you've become the emotional buffer between him and management, and everyone's leaning on you to hold it together. How do you stop being the unpaid therapist for both sides of this drama — without blowing up the Dream Team?
Recommendation of the Week: RayBan Meta Glasses
Gabe's sister just had her first baby — but the delivery took a dramatic turn, leaving the whole family bracing through a nerve-wracking series of complications. Now that everyone's home and healthy, Gabe has some big feelings about new life, mortality, and what it really means to become an uncle. What did this rollercoaster of a birth week teach him about courage, gratitude, and the terrifying beauty of parenthood?
Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!
Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.
And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps!
Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!
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Danny Rensch went from being weaponized as a chess prodigy by a cult to co-founding Chess.com — detailed on part two of this two-part episode. (Find part one here!)
Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1290
What We Discuss with Danny Rensch:
Chess.com grew from a bootstrapped startup — laughed out of investor rooms — into a unicorn by building a chess creator economy and content ecosystem years before the pandemic boom, capturing 99% of chess's explosive growth when The Queen's Gambit and COVID lockdowns sent 400,000 new members flooding in per day.
Catching cheaters in chess is a high-stakes statistical science. Chess.com employs 30 full-time specialists, from research scientists to in-house detectives, who use AI-driven algorithms to detect engine-assisted play, acting only when evidence would hold up in court rather than in the court of public opinion.
The digital revolution in chess has dramatically compressed the learning curve. Kids now grow up playing against Magnus Carlsen and top grandmasters online, producing prodigies like a 12-year-old Argentine dubbed "the Messi of chess" who may break the youngest grandmaster record in history.
Chess.com's public stance against Russia after the Ukraine invasion landed Danny Rensch on a dark web hit list, and years of closing cheaters' accounts have brought direct threats — including one player who tracked his tournament locations and emailed that he'd feel a gun behind his neck.
Danny's most powerful insight is that you can redefine your relationship with your past. Forgiveness isn't rewriting what happened, it's freeing yourself from it, and believing "everything happens for a reason" becomes actionable when you realize you get to choose the reason and reclaim the power over your own story.
And much more...
And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps!
Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!
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