Healing For Love

Send Gemma a message
Have you ever wondered why relationships can feel so emotionally intense?
Why you find it difficult to leave someone, even when you know they're not right for you?
Or why emotionally unavailable partners seem to become a recurring pattern?
In this episode, I explore one of the most important psychological patterns I see in my work with women - the abandonment schema (or abandonment wound).
Drawing on nearly 30 years of experience in psychology and schema therapy, I explain how early experiences of inconsistency, loss, emotional absence or disrupted attachment can quietly shape our expectations of love, influence who feels familiar, and make it much harder to walk away from relationships that aren't meeting our needs.
You'll learn:
• What an abandonment schema actually is
• How it develops during childhood
• Why it often shows up most strongly in romantic relationships
• How it influences attraction and partner selection
• Why emotionally unavailable relationships can feel strangely familiar
• The link between abandonment and overriding red flags
• Why this schema can keep you hoping, waiting and staying far longer than is healthy
• How understanding your abandonment pattern can become the first step towards creating healthier, more secure relationships
If you've ever found yourself repeatedly attracted to emotionally unavailable, avoidant or narcissistic partners, or you've wondered why leaving unhealthy relationships feels so incredibly difficult, this episode will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface.
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My flagship coaching program, offered only twice each year, where we work together over three months to intentionally rewrite your Love Template and create healthier relationship patterns.
Private Coaching
For women wanting personalised support to understand and change long-standing relationship patterns.
Connect
Website:
www.drgemmagladstone.com
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@drgemmagladstone
If you enjoyed this episode, I'd really appreciate it if you subscribed, left a review, or shared it with someone who may need to hear it.
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🎓FREE LIVE MASTERCLASS - Why smart women override red flags in dating
😊Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind guided program
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✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP
🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide
💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
 
Connect with Me
 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching
🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
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Send Gemma a message
If you're serious about finding an emotionally available partner, there are some important shifts that can dramatically improve your chances of creating a healthy relationship.
In this episode, I break down the practical dating advice I most often share with my coaching clients. Women who are tired of repeating painful relationship patterns and want to approach dating with more clarity, confidence, and self-trust.
One of the biggest misconceptions about dating is that women who end up in unhealthy relationships simply fail to see the warning signs.
In my experience, that's rarely true.
Most women notice far more than they give themselves credit for.
The challenge is often not spotting the red flags—it's understanding the deeper patterns that make it difficult to trust yourself and act on what you already know.
If you're ready to approach dating differently and want to understand the hidden psychological forces that influence attraction and decision-making, this episode is for you.
Free Live Masterclass
Why Smart Women Override Red Flags in Dating (Even When They Know Better)
Discover the 5 hidden love traps that keep women stuck in painful relationship patterns and learn how to make wiser, more self-honouring decisions in dating.
Support the show
🎓FREE LIVE MASTERCLASS - Why smart women override red flags in dating
😊Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind guided program
🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List  
✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP
🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide
💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
 
Connect with Me
 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching
🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message
Have you ever left a date feeling completely conflicted?  Part of you feels excited.
Part of you feels anxious.  Part of you wants to see them again.
And part of you feels relieved it's over.
In this episode, I explore why dating can feel so confusing and how different parts of ourselves can interpret the exact same situation in very different ways.
Drawing on concepts from Schema Therapy, I introduce three key voices that often show up when we're dating. 
You'll learn how old wounds such as abandonment, emotional deprivation, defectiveness and people-pleasing patterns can quietly influence attraction, decision-making and relationship choices.
I also explore common dating coping modes including
Most importantly, we'll look at how to strengthen the Wise Self - the part of you that can step back, gather information, spot red flags, honour boundaries and make healthier relationship decisions.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why dating can feel so confusing at times
How vulnerable parts of us influence attraction
The role of coping modes in dating and relationships
Why familiarity can be mistaken for compatibility
How schema chemistry can override good judgement
The questions your Wise Self needs to be asking
How to recognise who is currently "holding the microphone"
Why healthy dating involves learning to date from wisdom rather than from your wound
Resources Mentioned:
Love Wisely Foundations
Love Wisely Group Coaching Program
Dating Profile Check-Up
1:1 Coaching with Dr Gemma Gladstone
Support the show
🎓FREE LIVE MASTERCLASS - Why smart women override red flags in dating
😊Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind guided program
🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List  
✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP
🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide
💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
 
Connect with Me
 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching
🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message
In this episode of Healing for Love, Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores the early warning signs of controlling, narcissistic and potentially coercive relationship dynamics - particularly the subtle behaviours that many women dismiss, minimise or explain away in the beginning.
This episode is not about blame. It is about prevention, awareness and learning to trust yourself earlier.
Gemma breaks down:
 why some controlling behaviours can initially look like care or protection 
 how love bombing and boundary crossing often work together 
 the subtle ways controlling people gradually erode your autonomy 
 why narcissistic and coercively controlling individuals struggle to tolerate your individuality and separateness 
 how early manipulation often appears through “small” interactions 
 why boundary creeping, guilt, criticism and emotional pressure matter 
 the connection between control, entitlement and coercive dynamics 
 why many women ignore or override their early instincts 
 the importance of recognising what gets in the way of leaving early 
 how schemas such as abandonment, emotional deprivation, subjugation and self-sacrifice can keep women stuck in unhealthy dynamics 
Gemma also discusses:
 emotional manipulation 
 intrusive behaviour disguised as care 
 isolation tactics 
 shame sensitivity and rage reactions 
 dependency-building behaviours 
 subtle control around appearance, friendships and daily choices 
 the psychological function of coercive control 
Most importantly, this episode highlights why early recognition matters.
The sooner unhealthy dynamics are recognised, the easier it becomes to protect your sense of self, your wellbeing and your future.
In this episode:
 What coercive control actually is 
 Why control often begins subtly 
 The difference between care and control 
 Early signs of dangerous relationship dynamics 
 Boundary crossing and “boundary creep” 
 Why love bombing can feel confusing 
 How controlling partners gradually isolate women 
 Why healthy partners tolerate difference and autonomy 
 How schemas can interfere with self-protection 
 Why taking relationships slowly matters
Support the show
🎓FREE LIVE MASTERCLASS - Why smart women override red flags in dating
😊Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind guided program
🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List  
✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP
🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide
💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
 
Connect with Me
 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching
🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message
EXCITING NEWS - Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind program and receive early access benefits
Why do some people constantly put others first, struggle to say no, worry excessively about upsetting people, or feel guilty for prioritising themselves?
In this episode of Healing for Love, Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores the deeper psychology behind people pleasing through a schema therapy lens.
This is not simply about being “too nice.” People pleasing is often a learned survival strategy rooted in early relational experiences, attachment dynamics, fear, guilt, conditional acceptance and coping styles developed in childhood.
Gemma unpacks:
 What people pleasing actually is 
 Why it develops 
 The difference between self-sacrifice, subjugation and approval-seeking 
 Why guilt and fear often drive people pleasing behaviours 
 How early family dynamics shape self-suppression 
 Why some women struggle to set boundaries or speak up in relationships 
 The connection between people pleasing and emotionally unavailable or narcissistic partners 
 How schemas influence dating, relationships and self-trust 
 Why people pleasing is often linked to survival, safety and connection 
 Small practical steps to begin changing these patterns 
This episode also explores:
 Self-sacrifice schema 
 Subjugation schema 
 Approval-seeking schema 
 Abandonment dynamics 
 Conditional parenting 
 Coping modes and “dating personas” 
 The importance of reconnecting with your own needs, preferences and authenticity 
If you often:
 Put other people’s needs ahead of your own 
 Feel guilty saying no 
 Worry excessively about upsetting others 
 Need reassurance before making decisions 
 Stay quiet to avoid conflict 
 Feel anxious expressing yourself 
 Struggle with boundaries in dating or relationships 
…this episode will likely resonate deeply.
Mentioned in this episode
Gemma also shares details about her upcoming self-study program:
Love Wisely Foundations (coming soon!) - a schema-informed relationship program designed to help women understand and rewrite unhealthy relationship patterns and “love template.”
Support the show
🎓FREE LIVE MASTERCLASS - Why smart women override red flags in dating
😊Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind guided program
🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List  
✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP
🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide
💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
 
Connect with Me
 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching
🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here