The Parent Hope Podcast

In opening this repost, Jenny Brown highlights this episode as a standout for its clarity and compassion. Briony Scott’s reminder to see teens as emerging adults rather than fragile problems resonates deeply with parents feeling pressure to diagnose every wobble. Jenny lifts up the episode’s central idea: that parents can reduce anxiety — their own and their teen’s — by trusting development, staying thoughtful, and avoiding the contagious panic that often clouds adolescence today.

 Links
https://www.linkedin.com/in/brionys/?originalSubdomain=au
SMH article
https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/briony-scott-the-surprising-sex-talk-sydney-s-most-respected-principal-gives-her-students-20241114-p5kqpd.html
Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletter
Youtube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProject
Facebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparents
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/
LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/
Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/


Contact us:
[email protected]
(02) 9904 5600

In introducing this repost, Jenny Brown points to Dr Anne-Maree Bickerton’s lighthouse metaphor as one of the most transformative ideas for parents facing intense distress. She reflects on how the shift from fear-driven responses to calm, connected presence can immediately change the emotional climate. Jenny emphasises that steadiness — not control — is a parent’s greatest asset during moments of self-harm or heightened emotion.
To watch the video mentioned – This is an excellent resource!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_B61YifyrM
To read about the safety first model 
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/anzf.1055
for more papers: https://www.researchgate.net/scientific-contributions/Annemaree-Bickerton-28411169
Dr Bickerton is the co-developer of the training: STAYING CONNECTED WHEN EMOTIONS RUN HIGH.
Upcoming Workshops:
https://www.islhd.health.nsw.gov.au/services-clinics/family-and-carer-mental-health-program-0/staying-connected-when-emotions-run-high
Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletter
Youtube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProject
Facebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparents
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/
LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/
Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/


Contact us:
[email protected]
(02) 9904 5600

As Australia begins new social media age restrictions, many parents are feeling the pressure to tighten control or worry about what this shift will mean for their children. In this repost of Reclaiming Calm Leadership in the Digital World, Jenny Brown invites us to take a different starting point: effective leadership begins with managing ourselves, not our children.
This episode offers a steady, practical perspective on staying calm, clarifying our values, and guiding our family thoughtfully through digital change.
New Blog:
https://parenthopeproject.com.au/australia-social-media-age-16-parenting-guide/
Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletter
Youtube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProject
Facebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparents
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/
LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/
Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/


Contact us:
[email protected]
(02) 9904 5600

The holidays can bring out our best—and our most anxious—selves. Therapist and author Dr. Kathleen Smith (True to You; Everything Isn’t Terrible) will join Jenny Brown to discuss staying kind and self-defined when those predictable family tensions rise.
How can parents handle sensing disapproval, differing values, and “helpful” relatives without losing themselves—or their sense of humor? Dr. Smith draws on family systems thinking to share examples of managing one's own anxiety, showing up with more emotional maturity in front of our kids, and staying connected without falling into people-pleasing.
Indeed, you can respect your family and stay true to yourself this holiday season.
Quote:
To live a life that is truer to you, it’s useful to understand the ways you lose self—the capacity to think and act as an individual—in a relationship system. Maybe you like to keep your relationships light and superficial, using distance to avoid any tension. Maybe you end up overfunctioning, directing everyone so you feel steady. Perhaps you’ve been quick to triangle other people into conflict, unsure of your own thinking.
Smith, Dr Kathleen. True to You: A Therapist's Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself (p. 150). 
Books: 
https://kathleensmithwrites.com/books/true-to-you/
https://kathleensmithwrites.com/books/everything-isnt-terrible/
Newsletter – over 11,000 subscribers https://theanxiousoverachiever.substack.com/
Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletter
Youtube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProject
Facebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparents
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/
LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/
Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/


Contact us:
[email protected]
(02) 9904 5600

Grandparenting can be a gift—or a point of tension—depending on how generational differences are navigated. In this episode, Jenny Brown speaks with two special guests, Selden Illick and her daughter-in-law Alison Illick, about the subtle and powerful dynamics between grandparents, parents, and children. Drawing on Bowen family systems theory, they explore how patterns of anxiety, closeness, and loyalty ripple through three generations, and what differentiation looks like as adult children step into parenthood while their parents become grandparents.
Listeners will hear real stories of family life and discover how understanding family systems theory can help shift well-meaning interference into meaningful support, so that the presence of grandparents strengthens, rather than strains, the family system. Parents will gain practical insight into setting boundaries, preserving their authority, and fostering healthier connections with grandparents while reducing tension at home.

Selden Dunbar Illick founded the Princeton Family Center in 1987 based on Murray Bowen’s natural systems theory and is now Trustee Emerita of its educational branch. She has served on the Florida Family Research Network board and is active in the New England Study of Bowen Theory. Formerly in private practice in New Jersey and Florida (1983–2004), she now consults in Massachusetts, helping people apply Bowen theory to family, work, and social systems. A frequent presenter on the impact of unresolved childhood patterns, she recently contributed a chapter on emotional attachments and chronic illness in Death and Chronic Illness in the Family: Bowen Family Theory Perspectives.

Alison Illick lives in New Haven, Connecticut with her husband, Christopher, and their four sons. A former New York City public school teacher with degrees from Columbia University, she later supported her husband’s medical practice in various roles. In recent years, she has studied Bowen theory at the Princeton Family Center for Education and the Bowen Center in Washington, DC. Alison finds the framework a valuable way to understand family and work systems and focuses on managing herself within them—an interest first sparked in college and later encouraged by her mother-in-law, Selden.

Links
Selden as a previous guest on our podcast
https://parenthopeproject.com.au/podcasts/grandparenting-relationships/
The Princeton Family Center, New Jersey
https://www.princetonfamilycenter.org/
Selden speaking on relevant topics
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=921333534908389

Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletter
Youtube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProject
Facebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparents
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/
LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/
Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/


Contact us:
[email protected]
(02) 9904 5600