SHITSHOW SATURDAY #178 - The Pain of Not Belonging
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
You didn’t choose chaos; your nervous system learned to crave it. Learn to read your body, set real boundaries, and stop mistaking calm for danger.Amy Fiedler is a trauma specialist and coach known for practical, nervous-system-informed boundary work. She grew up around alcoholism and chronic shaming—an environment of denial, gaslighting, and volatility that wired her to over-tolerate. After years of toxic, abusive relationships, she chose herself, did the work, and now helps others do the same by rebuilding self-trust with values-based boundaries.✨ What this episode explores:▪️The 3–3–3 Boundary Method — How stating a limit up to three times with matched follow-through reveals remorse, accountability, and change—or signals it’s time to reduce access.▪️From Triangulation to Truth — How to end go-between roles, speak directly, and set limits so sibling and parent dynamics stop running your life.▪️Triggers as Data, Not Danger — How asking “history or violation?” in the moment turns reactivity into principled action.▪️Safety Before Strategy — How regulating before you speak lets you set boundaries from values instead of panic.▪️From Being Chosen to Choosing Yourself — What changes when you map the behaviors you value, decline what you don’t, and align consequences so self-respect outranks scarcity.▪️Healing in Healthy Love — How co-regulation and repair with safe partners build capacity, even when old triggers surface.Amy's IG - @amythelifecoach-----------------------⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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The Deeper Truth About Fawning: How Survival Turns Into Self-Abandonment w/ Ingrid Clayton
Fawning isn’t people-pleasing — it’s self-erasure in the name of survival. This episode dives into the hidden trauma response behind your need to stay small and what it takes to finally come home to yourself.Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in complex trauma and the author of Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves — and How to Find Our Way Back, a groundbreaking guide to the often-overlooked “fourth F” of trauma. In this conversation, she shares how fawning once defined her relationships, identity, and sense of safety — and how becoming a mother and confronting her own mother’s denial of abuse ultimately exposed what it costs to keep performing peace.✨ What this episode explores:▪️Fawning as a Hybrid Trauma Response — How it carries both fight-flight energy and freeze-collapse shutdown and becomes the body’s default for managing power, hierarchy, and perceived danger.▪️When Fawning Means Too Much or Too Little of You — Why some survivors over-function and take up more space while others shrink to survive, and how both patterns stem from the same survival reflex.▪️How Fawning Shows Up in Parenting — How your child’s emotions can trigger your own suppressed ones and why breaking cycles means tolerating your kid’s feelings and your own discomfort.▪️Sexual Fawning — How early sexualization and powerlessness can wire the body to equate safety with desirability and what it takes to reclaim agency, pleasure, and self-trust.▪️When Healing Requires Distance — What it means to stop performing safety with a parent who refuses accountability and how to grieve someone who’s still alive.▪️Reclaiming the Self Beneath the Survival Strategy — How somatic and parts-based healing help you reconnect with the voice, truth, and body you had to abandon to stay safe.— — —⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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SHITSHOW SATURDAY #176 - When Attachment Gets Complicated
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Adult Child dives deep into the lasting effects of growing up in dysfunctional families—unpacking complex and relational trauma, codependency, toxic shame, and addiction patterns with raw vulnerability and unapologetic authenticity.Hosted by Andrea Ashley, a recovering shitshow with 17 years sober, each episode shares unfiltered insights, expert conversations, and practical tools to heal your nervous system and break free from the cycles that hold you back.Whether you’re an adult child of alcoholics or from a dysfunctional family, navigating toxic relationships, or healing your inner child, this is your no-BS space for healing. New episodes every Wednesday & Saturday.And damn the join The Shitshow Healing Community for live support groups and connection with fellow cycle breakers.
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