Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

Have you ever watched your phone ring, seen exactly who it is, and just let it go to voicemail? Not because you're busy, but because you didn't feel like talking? You're not alone, and there's a reason it's become so easy to avoid. This week Carly looks at why so many of us, young people especially, now reach for a text over a call, and what that shift might be costing us. It turns out hearing a familiar voice does something a text simply can't. Carly weaves together the research on phone anxiety, the physiology of the human voice, and the small daily choice we all face when the phone lights up, and makes the case that true connection has to be heard. If picking up still feels daunting, there's a less daunting first step in here too.
Carly is a counsellor and coach who specialises in building psychological hardiness — the ability to navigate challenge, stay engaged, and take meaningful action under pressure. Her work integrates modern psychology with Eastern and Stoic approaches, helping people build resilience, live with purpose, and respond to life’s challenges with greater clarity, courage and steadiness.
References and further reading:
Seltzer, L.J., Prososki, A.R., Ziegler, T.E., & Pollak, S.D. (2012). Instant messages vs. speech: hormones and why we still need to hear each other. Evolution and Human Behavior, 33(1), 42–45. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3277914/
Seltzer, L.J., Ziegler, T.E., & Pollak, S.D. (2010). Social vocalizations can release oxytocin in humans. Proceedings of the Royal Society B, 277(1694), 2661–2666. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2982050/
Coan, J.A., Schaefer, H.S., & Davidson, R.J. (2006). Lending a hand: social regulation of the neural response to threat. Psychological Science, 17(12), 1032–1039. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17201784/
Kumar, A., & Epley, N. (2021). It's surprisingly nice to hear you: misunderstanding the impact of communication media can lead to suboptimal choices. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 150(3), 595–607. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5394dfa6e4b0d7fc44700a04/t/5f5a8bd2bec7a45b9db0d41c/1599769555766/Kumar+Epley+(in+press)+Its+surprisingly+nice+to+hear+you+JEPG.pdf
Uswitch (2024). Call me maybe (not): a quarter of young people never answer the phone. https://www.uswitch.com/media-centre/2024/04/Call-me-maybe-quarter-young-people-never-answer-phone/
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In this fascinating episode, discover the science behind sleep’s alchemy: how your brain’s lymphatic system flushes out metabolic waste, and why missing just two hours of deep sleep can increase your risk of Alzheimer’s by up to 50%. We break down the impact of caffeine, alcohol, and sleep medications on healing cycles, revealing why many sleep aids are more harmful than helpful. Learn why maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, avoiding blue light, and creating a sleep sanctuary can save your brain and extend your life. Most people underestimate how sleep impacts every aspect of their health and miss the simple shift that can prevent neurodegeneration, boost performance, and transform wellbeing. If you think sleep is just rest, think again: it’s the brain’s nightly cleaning service, crucial for clearing toxins like beta amyloids linked to dementia and Alzheimer’s. Dr. Jemma King shares why deep slow wave sleep is a biological masterpiece and how lifestyle choices sabotage it, accelerating aging and disease.

Key Takeaways
Sleep is a brain detox powerhouse
Deep slow-wave sleep helps clear waste like beta amyloids, which are linked to dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Sleep quality matters more than just hours
The order of sleep stages matters for memory, mood, learning, and physical recovery.
Consistency is crucial
A regular sleep schedule supports your circadian rhythm and improves long-term brain and body health.
Caffeine can mask fatigue, not fix it
It blocks sleep pressure, which can hurt sleep quality if timed too late in the day.
Alcohol and sleep meds can disrupt recovery
They may make you sleepy, but they interfere with the restorative parts of sleep.
Deep sleep happens early
Getting to bed on time helps you get the most valuable brain-repair sleep first.
Sleep is a longevity tool
Better sleep supports clearer thinking, better performance, and healthier aging.

Time Stamps
02:50 Understanding Stress and Emotional Intelligence
06:13 The Science of Sleep: Importance and Mechanisms
09:08 Deep Sleep and Its Critical Role
11:57 The Impact of Sleep on Mental Health
15:13 The Role of REM Sleep in Emotional Processing
18:01 Effects of Alcohol and Other Substances on Sleep
20:53 The Stages of Sleep and Their Functions
24:13 Short-term vs. Long-term Sleep Deprivation Effects
27:02 Chronic Sleep Debt and Its Health Consequences
32:15 The Impact of Sleep on Health
36:08 Understanding Sleep Needs Across Lifespan
40:52 Practical Sleep Aids and Tips
49:28 The Role of Diet and Lifestyle in Sleep
57:00 Napping: Benefits and Best Practices
01:00:18 Cognitive Strategies for Insomnia

Resources
Dr Jemma King’s Book: Sleep First: Sleep Smarter, Think Sharper, Feel Better
Website: https://jemmakingbio-pa.com.au/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-jemma-king-phd-76013328/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.jemma.king/
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You can't stop life surprising you, but you can train for it. This week: hardiness, hard winter training, and one small language shift you can use today.
This week on Mojo Monday Carly is looking at something we all live with and rarely prepare for, which is the fact that life is uncertain. We're wired to crave certainty, and when life does the one thing it always does and surprises us, we can crumble, partly because so much of the advice we're given trains us for the good days and almost none of it trains us for the hard ones. Drawing on the Stoic philosopher Epictetus and his idea of hard winter training, along with the Challenge pillar of Paul work on psychological hardiness, Carly looks at what it means to expect life to be unpredictable without bracing for disaster, and to put our attention where it actually belongs, on how we respond rather than on what we can't control. She finishes with two simple practices you can start today, doing one hard thing on purpose each day, and swapping the word worry for the word concern. If you'd like to go deeper, Paul's book The Hardiness Effect explores all four pillars of hardiness in detail, and you can find it at paultaylor.biz.
Carly is a counsellor and coach who specialises in building psychological hardiness — the ability to navigate challenge, stay engaged, and take meaningful action under pressure. Her work integrates modern psychology with Eastern and Stoic approaches, helping people build resilience, live with purpose, and respond to life’s challenges with greater clarity, courage and steadiness.
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Most of us chase fleeting moments of happiness only to realise they often come from quick dopamine hits rather than genuine well-being. But what if happiness isn't about constant joy or material success? What if it’s a nuanced, layered emotional umbrella that includes contentment, gratitude, curiosity, and purpose, all rooted in effort and connection? In this episode, famed happiness researcher Declan Edwards and I dismantle the myths surrounding happiness and reveal the science-backed truths that can truly elevate your life. You'll discover how Western society’s obsession with instant gratification distorts our understanding of happiness and how embracing effort, patience, and meaningful relationships can lead to a richer, more sustainable sense of well-being. From the ancient Greeks’ concepts of eudaimonia and hedonia, to modern neuroscience, this episode unpacks the science of human flourishing in practical terms.
Key Takeaways
Happiness is an umbrella, not a goal the idea that happiness is a fleeting emotion to chase is misleading. Instead, viewing it as a broad spectrum of emotions including contentment, gratitude, and calmness shifts the focus to cultivating a sustained sense of well-being.
Effort and inconvenience are the foundations of long-term happiness society’s obsession with shortcutting effort diminishes the depth of sustained well-being. True happiness depends on deliberate effort, patience, and embracing inconvenience, which build resilience and connection.
The physiology of well-being is often overlooked practical health like physical activity, diet, and gut health is essential for happiness. Our physical state directly influences brain function and emotional resilience, yet many ignore this link.
Happiness is contagious and embedded in community our psychological and emotional states influence others through ripple effects; strong social bonds and communal activities amplify collective well-being.
The narratives we tell about life's challenges shape our experience The meaning we assign to adversity influences whether we see obstacles as opportunities for growth or as insurmountable setbacks.
Internal emotional awareness amplifies happiness the ability to recognise, name, and work with emotions developed through tools like emotional literacy creates a foundation for healthier mental states and better interpersonal connections.
The pursuit of happiness is collective and requires systemic effort we are responsible for fostering environments workplaces, societies, families that support collective well-being, not just individual pursuits.

Time Stamps
03:05 Understanding Happiness: Beyond Fleeting Emotions
06:08 Hedonic vs. Eudaimonic Happiness
09:02 Effort, Inconvenience, and Meaningful Connections
11:54 The Impact of social media on Happiness
15:08 Acceptance and the Stoic Philosophy
18:10 Finding Meaning in Challenges
21:04 Personal Anecdotes and Meaning-Making
24:32 Navigating Control in Uncertainty
25:50 The Role of Money in Happiness
29:11 Community and Collective Happiness
34:50 The Trade-offs of Material Gains
36:15 The Importance of Contributing to Society
40:26 Cultural Perspectives on Happiness
40:54 Expectations vs. Intentions: A Path to Happiness
43:29 The Role of Positivity Bias in Happiness
45:37 Increasing Your Surface Area for Luck and Happiness
48:40 Practical Steps to Enhance Emotional Awareness
52:09 The Power of Gratitude and Connection
56:31 The Interconnection of Physical and Mental Health

Resources
Declan’s Book: How To Be Happy
Website: https://declanedwards.com.au
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/declan-edwards-bu-happiness-college/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/declanedwards_bu/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@that.happiness.guy

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