Awake at 3am

What happens when you've spent years battling infertility, navigating IVF, undergoing multiple fertility treatments and ultimately choosing donor eggs to become a mother, only to find yourself facing one of the biggest challenges of all: severe sleep deprivation?
In this deeply honest episode of Awake at 3am, we sit down with author, speaker and coach Sheila Vijeyarasa to discuss her journey through infertility, IVF, donor egg conception, pregnancy after 45 and becoming a first-time mum at 47.
After multiple rounds of IVF, unsuccessful fertility treatment cycles and years of heartbreak, Sheila became a donor mum and welcomed her son Phoenix into the world. But while infertility and conception were difficult, nothing prepared her for the reality of newborn sleep deprivation, baby sleep challenges, frequent night waking, breastfeeding difficulties, relationship strain and the profound identity shift that comes with motherhood.
This episode explores:
• IVF, infertility and fertility treatment
• Donor egg conception and becoming a donor mother
• Pregnancy after 45 and motherhood at 47
• Mental health for new mums
• Postpartum mental health and postpartum anxiety
• Managing sleep deprivation during the newborn stage
• The emotional impact of sleep loss on mothers and families
• Breastfeeding challenges, pumping and formula feeding without guilt
• Newborn sleep issues and frequent overnight waking
• Baby sleep routines and healthy sleep habits
• Sleep consultant advice for exhausted parents
• Self-settling techniques and sleep training misconceptions
• How to help a baby fall asleep independently
• Why overtired babies often sleep worse, not better
• Toddler sleep challenges and toddler night routines
• Relationship strain from parenting and sleep deprivation
• The impact of poor sleep on marriage, work performance and wellbeing
• Building resilience through motherhood
• Coping with overwhelm, exhaustion and identity loss after becoming a parent
• Parenting after infertility and the pressure to feel grateful despite struggling
Sheila shares powerful insights into the reality of becoming a parent after infertility, why sleep deprivation can affect every aspect of life, and how improving baby sleep transformed not only her son's wellbeing but also her marriage, mental health and ability to function.
If you're navigating IVF, infertility, donor egg conception, newborn sleep, baby sleep problems, postpartum anxiety, maternal mental health struggles or the overwhelming exhaustion that comes with parenting, this conversation will leave you feeling understood, validated and far less alone.
Follow Awake at 3am for honest conversations about parenting, baby sleep and the stories ( and tips) nobody tells you before becoming a parent!
To learn more about Sheila, follow her @sheila_v__

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the pressures of motherhood, especially when navigating the complexities of ivf solo parenting? Join hosts Jess Zids and Sophia Masur as they dive deep into the heartfelt journey of Libby, a courageous mother who bravely shares her experiences with pregnancy and the early stages of motherhood as a solo parent. This episode of Awake at 3am is not just another parenting podcast; it’s a real-life conversation that sheds light on the emotional struggles and triumphs of parenting, particularly for those managing sleep deprivation in parenting.
Libby opens up about her unique path, emphasizing the significance of being informed and intentional in her choices, especially regarding feeding and sleep. As she candidly discusses her decision not to breastfeed, listeners will resonate with her reflections on prioritising her well-being alongside that of her baby. The episode tackles the societal expectations that new mothers often face, including the overwhelming pressure surrounding breastfeeding and sleep training, making it a must-listen for anyone grappling with breastfeeding challenges or infant sleep issues.
Throughout the conversation, Jess, Sophia, and Libby explore the emotional complexities of motherhood, touching on feelings of guilt, the need for support, and the reality of sleep deprivation in parents. Libby’s story is a beacon of hope for those dealing with postpartum mental health challenges, as she shares practical advice for new mums. She encourages them to seek specialised guidance rather than relying solely on general internet advice, paving the way for others navigating the tricky waters of solo parenting.
As the episode unfolds, Libby emphasises the critical importance of vocalising needs and accepting help, reminding us that motherhood is a challenging journey that thrives on community support. Whether you're dealing with newborn sleep issues, toddler night struggles, or the emotional impact of sleep loss, this episode is packed with insights and relatable hard truths.
Tune in for invaluable tips on sleep training safety, self settling techniques that Libby shares, and how to cope with sleepless nights as a solo mum by choice .

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses suicidal thoughts, postpartum psychosis, intrusive thoughts and thoughts of harm towards a baby.
When people picture postpartum psychosis, they often imagine someone obviously unwell or someone with a long history of mental illness.
Emily was neither.
Emily had no previous mental health history. She was educated, supported, functioning highly and she knew something was wrong.
In the newborn phase, what started as intense pressure around breastfeeding after a traumatic birth slowly became something much more serious.
Emily began experiencing suicidal thoughts. She later disclosed frightening visions and thoughts that terrified her. She reached out repeatedly for help and spoke with multiple healthcare professionals while trying to understand what was happening to her.
Eventually, Emily says she disclosed thoughts of harming both herself and her baby.
It was Emily’s mum who ultimately found a specialist mother and baby psychiatric unit in Sydney where she was admitted and received treatment.
Emily says she does not believe she would be here today without that admission.
This conversation is emotional, confronting and incredibly important because postpartum psychosis, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety and severe maternal mental illness do not always look the way people expect.
If you are pregnant, in the newborn phase, postpartum, supporting a new parent or struggling with your mental health after having a baby, we hope this episode helps you feel less alone and more informed about what support exists.
Please listen with care and share with another parent if you think this conversation could help them.
Support is available:
🇦🇺 Australia
PANDA: 1300 726 306
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Emergency: 000
🇺🇸 United States
Postpartum Support International: 1-800-944-4773
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
🇬🇧 United Kingdom
Contact your GP or local Perinatal Mental Health Team
Samaritans: 116 123
Emergency: 999

“I know it sounds terrible… but I almost felt free for a bit.”
This week we chat to family lawyer, author and mum of two Gabriella Pomare about divorce, co-parenting, blended families, second babies and surviving sleep deprivation while trying to hold your life together.
Gabriella opens up about separating when her son was just one, introducing a new partner into her child’s life, navigating step parenting, and the emotional shift of going from shared custody back to full time parenting after having her daughter Vienna.
We also talk about:
• sleep deprivation and overnight wakes
• bottle feeding and milk associations
• the guilt mums carry after separation
• parenting two completely different children
• blended family dynamics
• identity after motherhood and divorce
• why so many mums secretly feel like they’re failing
As always: real mums, real sleep deprivation.
Follow Gabriella here: @thegabriellapomare
Grab Gabriella’s book here: The Collaborative Co-Parent

Sleep training has become one of the internet’s most emotionally charged parenting debates.
Parents are being told it damages attachment, causes trauma and goes against biology. So what does the research actually say?
In this episode, GP, mum and sleep consultant Dr Francesca Brewer breaks down the science behind infant sleep, sleep training safety, maternal mental health and the fear-based messaging dominating social media.
We unpack what’s evidence-based, what’s opinion and why exhausted parents are being left terrified to make sleep changes.
If you’ve ever felt confused by the noise around baby sleep, this episode is essential listening.
Find Dr Francesca at @thebabysleepgp & www.thebabysleepgp.com

For more on this episode follow @awakeat3am.podcast and @sophiassleepschool