Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Your child doesn't need better social skills. They need more chances to use them.
University of Chicago behavioural scientist Professor Nicholas Epley explains why we're wired for connection but keep avoiding it. His research reveals one surprising mistake almost all of us make and how parents can help children build stronger friendships by changing one simple habit.
This conversation will make you think differently about strangers, screens and the small moments that shape confident, connected kids.
KEY POINTS
Why we consistently underestimate how much people want to connect with us.
The surprising experiment that changed Nicholas Epley's research career.
What today's children are missing, despite being more digitally connected than ever.
How parents accidentally teach children to avoid social interaction.
One simple way to help children become more confident in social situations.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"If you're a parent who never reaches out to others, your kids won't either. If you do, they will."
RESOURCES MENTIONED
A Little More Social by Professor Nicholas Epley
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Start one conversation with someone you don't know this week. Let your child see it happen.
Choose face-to-face conversations over messages whenever you can.
Create regular opportunities for your children to spend time with other people without a screen between them.
Talk with your children about how connection often feels awkward before it feels rewarding.
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Watching your child be ignored hurts. You want to step in, fix it and make it stop.
Before you do, listen to this conversation.
Justin and Kylie answer a question from a mum whose young sons are being shut out by older neighbourhood kids. They share practical ways to help children handle rejection, build confidence and develop friendships that last.
KEY POINTS
Why children grow when they're part of solving the problem.
Questions that help kids think through social challenges.
How changing the play environment can stop exclusion.
Why big age gaps often lead to younger children being left out.
Simple ways to build stronger relationships with neighbouring families.
Why avoiding difficult situations can make them harder over time.
How to help your child invest in the friendships that matter.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"The answer isn't always fixing the problem for our children. Sometimes it's helping them discover that they can help solve it themselves."
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Leave us a voice memo for the podcast!
A Little More Social by Nicholas Epley.
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Ask your child what they're experiencing before offering advice.
Watch how the children interact instead of relying on second-hand accounts.
Organise games that make it easy for every child to join in.
Get to know the other families in your neighbourhood.
Help your child build one or two strong friendships instead of chasing acceptance from the whole group.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seven million school days were missed in Victoria last year. Is this a sign of a growing problem, or are parents finally putting their families first?
A new report has sparked fierce debate about school attendance. Should children ever miss school for a holiday, a family celebration or a mental health break?
Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack what the numbers actually tell us, why so many families are choosing term-time travel, and whether chasing perfect attendance comes at a cost.
They explore what children gain from school, what they gain from time with family, and why the best decision isn't always the obvious one.
If you've ever wondered whether it's okay to pull your child out of school, this conversation will give you plenty to think about.
KEY POINTS
What the seven million missed school days really represent.
Why more families are travelling during school term.
The pressure schools place on perfect attendance.
How COVID changed the way many parents think about school.
What children can learn outside the classroom.
When missing school can be the right choice.
Why every family needs to weigh the trade-offs for themselves.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"If you need to have some time off, if you want to take the kids out of school, do it."
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Herald Sun report on Victorian school attendance.
Happy Families resources at happyfamilies.com.au.
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Make school attendance your starting point, not an unbreakable rule.
Before taking your child out of school, ask what they'll gain from the experience.
Talk with your child's teacher if they'll miss important learning.
Don't let guilt make the decision for you. Consider your child's learning, your family's circumstances and what matters most.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You finish the day exhausted. Work's done, dinner's over and the last thing you want is another thing to do.
But the moments your kids remember rarely come from expensive holidays or perfectly planned activities. They happen on a walk around the block, over a board game or while you're side by side with no phones in sight.
Justin and Kylie share how an after-dinner walk became the place where their daughters finally opened up. They explore why kids often talk more when they're moving, why screens get in the way, and how small choices can strengthen your relationship without adding more to your to-do list.
If you've been feeling stretched too thin, this episode will help you find connection in the time you already have.
KEY POINTS
Why children often open up more when you're walking together.
How one simple after-dinner walk became an hour of honest conversation.
The hidden cost of reaching for a screen instead of each other.
The difference between saying "I can't" and asking "What can I do?"
Small habits that make children feel seen, heard and valued.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"When we push past the excuses and make the effort, it's almost always worth it."
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Happy Families memberships
The Happy Families website
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Take one child for a walk this week. Leave your phones at home.
Swap one night of scrolling for a board game or a chat.
When you think, "I don't have time", ask yourself, "What can I do instead?"
Turn everyday routines into one-on-one time, even if it's only 15 minutes.
Watch what changes when you're beside your child instead of sitting across from them.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Australia banned social media for under-16s. It hasn't stopped kids from using it.
New research shows most young people are still logging on, creating fake accounts and finding easy ways around age checks. Dr Justin Coulson explains why the law isn't delivering what parents hoped for and why families still have the biggest influence on their children's online lives.
Then the conversation turns to something far more hopeful.
Dutch children are the happiest in the world. It's not because Dutch parents have all the answers. Their families spend more time together. Their children have more independence. Their communities are built around connection. Justin and Kylie unpack what Australian parents can borrow, even if we can't recreate the Dutch system.
KEY POINTS
What the first research on Australia's social media ban found.
How children are getting around age verification.
Why parents still need to lead screen time at home.
The habits that help Dutch children report the highest levels of happiness.
Why friendships, family time and independence matter more than expensive programs.
Simple ways to create stronger community around your own family.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"The legislation can't do the parenting for us. We still have to do the job."
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Boys: Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out by Dr Justin Coulson
10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know by Dr Justin Coulson
Misconnection by Dr Justin Coulson
Happy Families resources at happyfamilies.com.au
Research: Early Effects of Australia's Social Media Minimum Age Act on Adolescents' Social Media Use
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Don't assume the social media ban is keeping your child off social media. Check in often.
Talk about social media regularly instead of waiting until something goes wrong.
Protect family time by working it into your weekly routine.
Help your child build friendships through school, sport and local activities.
Invite another family over, organise a neighbourhood catch-up or say yes to the next community event. Small connections build a stronger village.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.