Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Abuser—and When That Changes [326]
Hey there, beautiful butterfly! It's Natalie here, and boy do I have an episode for you today that's going to make you feel SEEN in a way that might just take your breath away.Have you ever found yourself at 3 AM, deep in a Google rabbit hole, trying to make sense of your husband's behavior like you're some kind of undercover FBI agent? Well, I'm here to tell you that this obsession isn't a sign you're losing it—it's actually the FIRST step toward your freedom.In this episode, I'm breaking down the five stages of recovery from emotional abuse that I've witnessed time and again in my work with thousands of women:Discover why your brain's detective mode is actually a necessary part of healing (and why you should stop beating yourself up for "still thinking about him")Learn about the powerful moment when your focus shifts from figuring HIM out to reclaiming YOU—and why this is where the real magic happensUnderstand how your healing journey transforms you from a survivor desperately searching for answers to the wise mentor you never had (but always deserved)Find out why setting boundaries isn't just about protecting yourself—it's about rediscovering joy and learning to trust yourself againRemember, healing isn't linear, and every stage serves a purpose. Whether you're analyzing text messages at midnight or helping other women find their wings, you're exactly where you need to be. Grab your coffee (or wine—zero judgment here!), get comfortable, and let me walk you through how this messy, beautiful recovery process really happens.You are becoming who you were always meant to be. And I promise you, butterfly—you are NOT alone.Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Liked this episode? Here are some other episodes and an article that you may find helpful as well: Episode 306, “Lessons I’m Learning in Physical Therapy About How We Heal.” Episode 277, “What the Healing Journey Looks Like.” An article, “7 Steps to Identifying and Healing from an Emotionally Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage.”
--------
12:22
The Truth About Divorce in Christian Marriages: What They Don’t Tell You From the Pulpit [325]
Today we’re tackling a topic that's kept too many women trapped in painful marriages: divorce. If you've ever been told "God hates divorce" or made to feel like leaving your abusive husband is somehow worse than what he's doing to you, this episode is specifically for you.We’ll dig into some fascinating research by Dr. Valerie Hobbs on how conservative Christian sermons frame divorce - and let me tell you, what's being preached often doesn't match reality. Here's what you'll discover in this episode:The surprising biblical truth about divorce, including the fact that God Himself got a divorce (Jeremiah 3:8) and what this means for women in harmful marriagesHow common Bible verses about divorce are routinely misinterpreted and weaponized against women seeking safety and freedomThe shocking difference between why women initiate divorce (abuse, infidelity, and substance abuse) versus men's reasons (falling out of love, different lifestyles)How the ancient marriage certificate (ketubah) actually protected women's rights and gave them grounds for divorce - completely changing how we should understand Jesus' teachingsThis isn't just theological debate - this is about real women making heart-wrenching decisions every day. I've walked this path myself, and I know the spiritual anguish of believing God wants you to stay in a destructive marriage.If you're questioning what you've been taught about divorce, experiencing emotional or spiritual abuse, or supporting someone who is, please listen to this episode. You'll discover that God cares about your emotional and spiritual safety and wellbeing, and that leaving an abusive marriage just might be the most faithful thing you can do.Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources: Dr. Valerie Hobbs' groundbreaking study that I used for this episode, "The Discourse of Divorce in Conservative Christian Sermons."Some related Flying Free Podcast episodes you may be interested in: “God Doesn’t Hate ALL Divorce,” “How Do I Know if Divorce Is the Right Choice for Me?” and “How To Tell Your Kids You’re Getting Divorced.”
--------
13:55
Announcing A New Podcast for Divorced Christian Women! [Flying Higher Moment 020]
Coming June 2025: The Divorced Christian Woman Podcast! This is our last Flying Higher moment as we are gearing up to begin production of our new podcast! Find out what we'll be talking about in our first season!(Don't worry, the Flying Free podcast will continue to serve up hope and healing for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive relationships right here every Tuesday afternoon!)
--------
4:51
What Does a Safe Church Really Look Like? [324]
On today’s episode, I’m talking with Dr. Andrew Bauman—licensed mental health counselor, author, and founder of the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma. We’re digging into his powerful new book, Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities, and whew…this one’s going to name things you’ve felt for years but maybe never had words for.This episode is a raw, no-fluff look at what’s really happening behind the stained-glass windows:82% of women say sexism shaped their church experience—and 35% report sexual harassment. Let that sink in.How twisted theology has been used to minimize abuse, silence women, and turn forgiveness into a weaponReal, doable steps churches can take to stop being breeding grounds for harm and start becoming actually safeWhy men in leadership must do their own deep healing before they can lead anyone elseThe holy importance of listening to your gut, your body, and your sacred knowing when something just feels offIf you've ever been told to “just forgive and move on,” felt erased in your own spiritual community, or wondered why abusers get protected while survivors get blamed—this conversation will wrap you in validation and truth.Dr. Bauman speaks as someone who’s been on both sides of this story. And his message? You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. And the God you love is nothing like the systems that harmed you.Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources: Read Dr. Bauman’s newest book, Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities.Connect with Dr. Bauman on Facebook.Check out Dr. Bauman’s blog. Like what you heard today? Listen to Episode 41 and Episode 164 of the Flying Free Podcast with Dr. Andrew Bauman, and then head over to Episode 45 and Episode 279 to hear my interviews with his wife, Christy Bauman. Guest Bio: Founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma. Dr. Bauman is a therapist & author of 7 books including his newest book, Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism & Abuse in Christian Communities.
--------
31:35
Healing Doesn't Just Happen at a Weekend Retreat [Flying Higher Moment 019]
In this episode, you’ll hear what it really means to heal from emotional and spiritual trauma—and why that work is more about daily practice than one-time events. From ego detangling to setting boundaries, this episode is packed with perspective shifts and tiny “aha” moments that might just change how you show up in your healing journey.Resources mentioned: How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePeraFlying Higher
Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get help from her equally abusive church environment, she is betrayed and re-abused. Flying Free offers a Christ-centered, gospel-oriented perspective on domestic abuse that protects and honors the voices and autonomy of women. Tune in each week to hear conversations with emotional abuse advocates and fellow survivors who will walk with you on your journey up and out. We hear you. You are not alone. Learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
Australia