How many times this week have you agreed to do something you didn't want to do? Are you drowning in 'shoulds' while your own priorities get pushed aside? Does the thought of saying 'no' fill you with anxiety? [2:38] Chelle recaps the previous episode with Lindsey Godwin, Molly McGuigan, and Miriam Novotny co-authors of: Ditch The Ditty: Doing What Matters Instead of Doing It All. [3:31] Chelle shares her first a-ha moment about understanding what a "ditty" is and the importance of ditching them using the 4-Ds framework.[8:08] Evie introduces the "Do-You-Really?" mirror tool for supporting others in ditty-ditching.[13:01] Chelle shares her second a-ha about having different ways to say "no" using the "No-saurus" framework.[17:00] Evie introduces the "Celebrators & Elevators" tool for creating a circle of support in the ditty-ditching journey.[23:37] Chelle shares her third a-ha about the power of story-swapping in ditty-ditching.[27:23] Evie introduces the "Ditty-Ditching Divas" support network tool.[31:16] Chelle summarizes the three main a-ha moments and corresponding tools discussed.[33:46] Behind-the-scenes post-show conversation between Evie and Chelle. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com/subscribe
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34:54
Why do we keep saying yes?
Do you exhaust yourself being the office superhero who can't say no? Are you the go-to person for tasks nobody else wants? Do you find yourself organizing the office party, managing the school fundraiser, and hosting family gatherings – all while secretly wishing someone else would step up?[01:38] Chelle introduces guests Lindsey Godwin, Molly McGuigan, and Miriam Novotny, authors of the new book, "Ditch the Ditty".[02:00] Molly shares the origin story of "Ditch the Ditty".[04:35] Miriam explains the different categories of tasks: duties, deeds, delights, and ditties[06:13] The team introduce their decision tree tool and how asking questions like "on whose terms?" and "for whose benefit?" may help.[08:08] Lindsey discusses how gender dynamics affect women's tendency to take on ditties[10:30] The team explain of "Ditty dynamics".[14:18] Molly describes how they used their experience to start conversations with women worldwide.[17:55] The team discuss the importance of women supporting each other in identifying ditties.[19:01] Lindsey explains the "Ditty disguises"[26:28] Miriam shares strategies for saying "no" and scaling responses appropriately.[30:23] Molly introduces the ABCD framework for identifying essentials.[34:47] Lindsey discusses transforming duties into delights and finding joy in necessary tasks[42.05] Post-show behind-the-scenes with Chelle and Evie. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com/subscribe
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42:32
Have you lost who you've dreamt of being?
Have you been taken by surprise to discover just how deeply society’s ‘good girl’ expectations shapes your choices? Do you find yourself wondering how these beliefs took hold, no matter how free-spirited your childhood may have been? [0:02] Chelle introduces the podcast and Evie Wright, co-author of 'The Perfectly Imperfect Women's Journal'. [1:56] Evie shares her compelling journey from paramedic to burnout, describing her transition from Queensland to Melbourne and finding her path in yoga and wellbeing work.[6:04] Evie recalls growing up on a commune, describing a childhood filled with nature and freedom, while reflecting on how societal expectations still managed to shape her beliefs.[15:38] Evie shares her story of growing up with people-pleasing patterns and how that affects her life today. [27:29] Evie introduces the powerful "Set Healthy Boundaries" tool, explaining the three H's framework: Hurt (reflection), Hope (connection), and Help (action planning).[32:07] Through her "Shape Shifter" story, Evie reveals her pattern of becoming the family mediator at a young age, highlighting how this role influenced her later relationships and tendency to fix others' problems.[36:26] Evie shares the "Find Yourself" tool based on Internal Family Systems, discussing how the eight C's of IFS help access our wisest self.[39:00] Evie shares her key learning: "Even though the little girl was often imperfect, she was just f*****g fine" - emphasizing the power of accepting our imperfections.[41:37] Post-show conversation between Evie & Chelle. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com/subscribe
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42:35
Is being 'good' costing you too much?
Do you remember the first time you learned you needed to be "good" to be loved? Perhaps it was a gold star for sitting quietly, or praise for putting others first, or the silent treatment when you spoke up too loudly. For Chelle, it was a little golden book that cost just 40 cents at the supermarket checkout - a book that would shape how she saw herself for decades to come.[1:04] Evie introduces Dr. Chelle McQuaid and their upcoming books: "The Perfectly Imperfect Little Girl" and "The Perfectly Imperfect Women's Journal" launching February 2025.[1:46] Chelle shares the story of "The Good Little Bad Little Girl" book from her childhood.[5:10] Chelle recounts her experience hiking in Nepal, where she received the message that "success was joyfully following what called to her heart" – the catalyst that inspired these books.[7:34] Chelle shares her struggle with perfectionism through the story of walking the Camino Portuguese. [21:41] Chelle introduces the 'Be a Yeti' tool - a practical tool for managing perfectionism and overfunctioning. [23:37] Chelle discusses a pivotal moment in her journey of people-pleasing – the difficult decision to end her marriage. [30:19] Chelle shares the 'Show Up For Yourself' tool (Safe, Seen, Soothed, Secure) - a practical approach for rebuilding secure attachment with ourselves. [37:42] Chelle courageously shares her childhood trauma and the cost of silencing herself to protect others, highlighting how speaking her truth ultimately led to healing for herself and her family.[46:45] Chelle introduces the 'Moving Towards Your Parts' tool from Internal Family Systems, explaining the three steps: Noticing, Knowing, and understanding what our parts Need.[51:04] Chelle shares the core message of the books: Learning to ask "On whose terms and for whose benefit are you living your wild and precious life?"[54:43] Post show behind-the-scenes with Evie and Chelle. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com/subscribe
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55:52
Do you know how to huddle?
When it comes to connecting with others, do you know exactly who's in your huddle and how they support different areas of your life? Have you mastered the art of making clear asks when you need their help? Or do you tend to struggle to nurture the relationships you need?[1:51] Chelle recaps Episode 1 with Brooke Baldwin, former CNN anchor and author of "Huddle: How Women Unlock Their Collective Power."[2:43] Chelle shares Aha #1: The fundamental need we all have to be part of huddles.[8:28] Evie introduces the tool "Map Your Huddle" to help us identify existing and potential connections [12:30] Chelle shares Aha #2: The transformative power of asking for and accepting help. [19.40] Evie introduces the tool "Ask Clean and Clear" tool to help us get clear, clean and concise when asking for help. [24:21] Chelle shares Aha #3: The power of amplifying other women[28:08] Evie introduces the tool "Shine the Spotlight" for amplifying other women:[30:22] Chelle recaps the three main aha moments from the conversation with Brooke and the corresponding tools. [33:05] Behind-the-scenes post-show conversation between Evie and Chelle. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com/subscribe
Australia