Send us a textAutistic couples arguing? Raffi Bilek (marriage coach, The Couples Communication Handbook author) shares game-changers: Talk/listen turns (no simultaneous fights), reflect back to track feelings, I-statements for impact (not blame—"I feel hurt when..."), and split convos (explore problem first, solve later)—to avoid fight-or-flight spirals. For autistic/ND partners decoding body language/flat affect, allies learning patience, or anyone building bonds without insults, this convo's your toolkit—repair over perfection ("Relationships thrive on repair, not zero conflict").Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro: Raffi's Mission for Awesome Marriages 0:15 - Why Communication Matters in Disagreements 1:32 - Game-Changer: Talk/Listen & Reflect 2:50 - Listening Without Planning Rebuttal 4:09 - Humor/Laughter in Arguments (or Not?) 5:36 - Schedule Pauses to Avoid Escalation 7:02 - Right vs. Wrong Ways to Argue 8:27 - Active Listening: Chunk & Reflect 9:57 - Unresolved Issues Keep Coming Up 11:19 - Body Language Challenges for Autistics 12:10 - Insults: Speak About Yourself, Not Them 13:25 - When to Seek Counseling (Before Big Problems) 14:48 - Book Couples Communication Handbook 16:39 - Individual Therapy Alongside Couples Work 18:15 - Dating: Disclose Autism Early 19:44 - Argument Styles & Basics to Fix 21:26 - Self-Soothing Before Heated Moments 23:21 - Walking Away: Break vs. Brush-Off 24:48 - Teach Kids to Argue? (Interpersonal Ed) 27:17 - Book Details & Bigger Audience Reach 28:37 - Red Flags: When Counseling Won't Fix 30:23 - Where to Find Raffi (Site/Book/Coaching)Subscribe on Apple/Spotify for weekly neurodivergent adulting tools—rate/review if tips bridged a gap! Resources/book in notes. Squad, share w/ a communicator (tag 'em below—let's connect!). Merch: 'Dynamite' tees for convo days (Linktree in notes). #AutisticCouplesCommunication #NeurodivergentRepair #AdultingWithAutism #BTSNeurodivergent #PodMatchStruggling with autistic couples communication? Raffi Bilek unpacks frameworks: Over 10 years coaching, his Couples Communication Handbook teaches talk/listen turns (one speaks, other reflects—no overlap), I-statements ("I feel..." vs. accusations), and dual convos (understand problem before solving)—for ND mismatches like flat affect/body language gaps. Repair essentials: Pause for calm (schedule returns, no dish-throwing emergencies), self-soothe (breathing/exercise before fight-or-flight), and active listening (chunk/reflect to confirm understanding). For autistic young adults dating/decoding signals, partners practicing validation, or allies fostering bonds, Raffi's "defense isn't helpful—impact motivates change" flips blame to connection. Why counsel early? Cheaper than divorce; individual therapy for personal issues (e.g., trauma/OCD) alongside couples work. From Adulting with Autism podcast: OT-aligned for sensory/verbal styles, argument repair, healthy dating.Links:Full Episode: Buzzsprout/Apple/SpotifAutistic adulting chaos? My MFish Dragon Charger slays—sleek, bold design with soul (no Apple boredom!), powers phone/laptop through BTS sessions. Daily obsession for my neurodivergent brain—ordering more! Quick pre-roll from Adulting with Autism. Affiliate link below (I earn from purchases—thanks!) Get fierce for fall with the Empowerment Collection and Power in the Frequency! Bold colors, ultimate comfort, and designs made for neurodivergent pride. Shop now to support the show and join the Alliance—find your new favorite at the link in show notes.Support the show@
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