Adulting with Autism

"Be yourself at work"… unless that part of you is autistic, ADHD, anxious, too direct, too emotional, or needs something different.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, April talks with Pasha Marlowe (she/they)—therapist (32+ years), coach to neurodivergent adults and couples, and author of Creating Cultures of Neuro Inclusion—about what real neuroinclusion looks like in workplaces, families, and community.
This conversation is practical and validating, especially if you don't feel safe disclosing a diagnosis (or you don't have one), but you still need support to function and avoid burnout.
In this episode, you'll learn:
What neuroinclusion actually means (it's not just "neurodivergent-friendly"—it's collaboration between all neurotypes)
Why leaders are losing people: it's often not "work ethic," it's lack of respect, agency, autonomy, and psychological safety
The RESPECT Framework: a simple "user manual" approach to talk about needs/preferences without requiring diagnosis or disclosure
How to write a one-page "how my brain & body work" guide (without turning it into a 10-page autobiography)
The difference between being told you belong vs neuro-belonging: belonging to yourself first (even in ableist spaces)
A powerful reframe for people-pleasers: "Disappoint others before you disappoint yourself."
Why "fix-the-person" workplace solutions fail—and how overworking in the first 30/60/90 days can lead to exploitation and burnout
How leaders can hold hard conversations when someone is labeled "too direct," "difficult," or "emotional" (hint: set expectations before conflict)
Workplace red flags for fake neuroinclusion: disorder-first language, functioning labels, sloppy "neurodiverse individuals," euphemisms, and excluding mental health from the neurodivergent umbrella
How to advocate using universal design language (e.g., "the flickering lights are disabling" / "I need captions to absorb the content") without outing yourself
If you're exhausted from masking all day, Pasha also shares how to talk to people at home about why you "crash" after work—and how to find spaces where you can actually unmask and be understood.
Pasha's book: Creating Cultures of Neuro Inclusion (paperback/Kindle/Audible)
Website: PashaMarlowe.com
Email: [email protected]
Social: TikTok/IG @neuroqueercoach | LinkedIn/Facebook: Pasha Marlowe

If you've ever said "I know better… so why do I keep doing this?"—this episode is for you.
April sits down with Brian DesRoches, a psychotherapist with 35+ years of experience, to unpack what's actually happening when we get triggered, people-please, shut down, avoid hard conversations, or spiral into self-blame.
Brian breaks down a powerful reframe: your brain doesn't "hate change"—it has emotional immunity to change when change feels unsafe. In other words, many self-defeating patterns aren't personality flaws… they're protective emotional learnings your nervous system is still running, often from long ago.
In this episode, you'll learn:
The difference between normal stress, anxiety, and being triggered (and why they're often lumped together)
Why triggers are essentially threat predictions—"the feeling of what will happen"
How behaviors like withdrawal, avoidance, people-pleasing, sarcasm, over-drinking, and perfectionism can be protective (not "brokenness")
The neuroscience of memory reconsolidation—and why insight alone often doesn't create change
What it means to "update" an old emotional learning at the synaptic level (vs just coping after you're activated)
A practical starting point: do a trigger inventory, identify one pattern, notice body signals, and name the feared outcome
Why feedback/authority situations can feel so intense for autistic people: the threat of being seen
How to find the right support: look for experiential therapy and ask about memory reconsolidation-informed approaches
This conversation is validating, practical, and hopeful: you're not lazy, dramatic, or defective—your brain is protecting you. And yes, you can update what it learned.
Brian's website: BrianDeRoche.com
(Books available on Amazon / by order at bookstores; includes a supplemental set of client stories.)
If you found this episode helpful, follow the show and share it with someone stuck in a loop of self-blame.

What if "adulting" isn't failing—it's just doing life without the tools your brain actually needs?
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, host April talks with Natalie Diggins—technologist and author of The Autistic Adults Toolbox—about practical, real-world systems that make autistic life more manageable without shame, fluff, or forced positivity.
Natalie shares why she built a "toolbox" in the first place (starting with the moment she couldn't even find a template to tell a surgeon what she needed), and how autistic adults can stop reinventing the wheel—at work, in relationships, in social situations, and during burnout.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to anticipate sensory overload instead of just enduring it (Natalie's simple day-by-day framework)
The three times disclosure can make sense: helping someone, trust/intimacy, or the "thermonuclear option"
How to plan for holidays and parties by protecting your "sensory calories" (before/during/after strategies + finding quiet spaces)
The difference between meltdowns and tantrums, and how to explain meltdowns to a partner
How Natalie spots burnout early with a "hurricane warning system"—plus her written down plan for recovery
A minimalist executive-functioning setup: the "Top 3" notepad rule (when apps are too much)
Relationship communication that works: shifting to "I want / I need" language and making needs understandable across neurotypes
If you've ever felt "too much," "too sensitive," or like you're behind in life—this conversation is a reminder: you're not broken. You need tools.
Find Natalie's book: The Autistic Adults Toolbox (online or at your local bookstore)
If you liked this episode, follow/subscribe and share it with someone who needs practical supports—not pressure.

If you're ambitious, high-performing, and secretly exhausted—this episode is for you.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with Carol Enneking, former corporate VP in Talent and Leadership and author of The Rebalancing Act, about redefining success in a way that doesn't cost your health, relationships, or sense of self.
Carol shares what she saw inside high-performance culture: many of the most "successful" people were also the most depleted. Together we unpack why "balance" isn't a stable destination, how to rebalance in real life, and how autistic and neurodivergent adults can navigate burnout, sensory load, and masking—without sacrificing ambition.
In this episode, we cover:
Why high performers often achieve more while enjoying it less
"Balance" vs rebalancing (and why balance is basically a myth)
Boundaries for ambitious people: when to dial it up vs dial it back
People pleasing + perfectionism: how to loosen your grip without doing sloppy work
Burnout signs (physical + cognitive) and why time can prevent escalation
How to redefine success using values, legacy, and intentional choices
A healthier relationship with failure: "failed" vs "I am a failure"
Practical questions to stop spiraling: best case, worst case, likely outcome
Connect with Carol:
Website: carolenneking.com
Book: The Rebalancing Act (wherever books are sold)

If you're an autistic or ADHD adult struggling with clutter, executive dysfunction, burnout, or decision fatigue, this episode of Adulting with Autism is for you. Professional Organizer and Life Organizing Strategist Takilla Combs (founder of Xtreme Audacity Organized Solutions) breaks down why organization isn't about pretty bins, Pinterest pantries, or perfect routines—it's about building sustainable systems that support how you actually live.
We talk about how clutter can be physical, mental, emotional, and operational, why high performers can look "together" at work while feeling overwhelmed at home, and how to create flexible routines that work for neurodivergent brains—without shame or perfectionism.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why clutter often starts as brain clutter and shows up in your environment
The real reason "motivation" and quick productivity hacks don't stick
Takilla's S.Y.S.T.E.M. framework: clutter costs Space, Time, Energy, Money
How to build routines around your natural rhythms (and adjust as life changes)
What to do when your systems fall apart due to mental health dips or a busy season
A simple approach to paper clutter: handle what's already open first, one pile at a time
Guest: Takilla Combs — Life Organizing Strategist + Professional Organizer
Website: https://extremeaudacity.com (starts with X)
Podcast: The Organized Life with Takilla Renee
Social: @extremeaudacity | @takillarenee
If this helped, follow Adulting with Autism, leave a review, and share this episode with someone navigating ADHD, autism, executive functioning challenges, or overwhelm.