Club Sandwich

What happens when your marriage ends in the exact season your parent needs you most? Katie Noonan knows, and this week, she tells us how you start again in the middle of everything.
Content note: this episode discusses separation and divorce, grief and the death of a parent. Be gentle with yourself while you listen. For support: Relationships Australia 1300 364 277 (relationships.org.au) — counselling and separation support. Family Relationship Advice Line 1800 050 321. Griefline 1300 845 745 (griefline.org.au). Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
In this episode:
The Conversation: Five-time ARIA Award winner Katie Noonan joins Sarah Macdonald for divorce in the sandwich years – learning her 26-year marriage was over from a lawyer's letter, seven months after losing her beloved dad; her 81-year-old mum, his full-time carer for 14 years, asking "who am I now?"; two suddenly single women caring for each other; the coven of girlfriends holding her up; getting sober; and turning all of it into her new album, Alone But All One.
This Week's Hack: Build your coven before you need it. Katie actively organises hers – ten women, monthly ladies dinners, book club, the cheap local cinema. Don't wait for community to find you in a crisis. Put the recurring date in the diary now.
Send this to: anyone navigating a separation while caring for ageing parents, or the friend quietly holding it all together.
A moment that stays: "I used to be one of four on a Medicare card, now I've got a solo Medicare card, and they ask me, 'Who's your next of kin?' And I'm like, 'Oh, I don't really have one anymore.'"
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
About Katie Noonan: Five-time ARIA award-winning singer, songwriter and producer — the voice of george and Elixir, with 30 studio albums across 30 years. Her new album Alone But All One is out now, written in the wake of her father's death and the end of her 26-year marriage, and featuring her first songwriting collaboration with Trent Dalton. Tour dates at katienoonan.com.au.
Music from Katie Noonan's album Alone But All One appears in this episode, with her kind permission.
Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The same conversation, again and again. The strange ideas. The day they don't know your face. Part two of our dementia special is about how you cope when a parent is becoming someone else — and how to look after yourself while you do.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
In this episode:
The Conversation: Part two of our two-part dementia special. Geriatrician and regular Clubber Dr Stephanie Ward joins Sarah Macdonald for the harder half — how you cope when a parent is slipping into advanced dementia. The repeated questions, the strange and frightening ideas, therapeutic fibbing, aggression and your own safety, the grief of not being recognised, and why a held hand still counts even when they forget the visit.
This Week's Hack: Therapeutic fibbing. When a parent with dementia asks for someone who has died, the truth only makes them grieve afresh — and they will ask again minutes later. Meet the feeling, not the fact: comfort, reassurance, a held hand. "They're okay. They'll be here later."
Send this to: anyone caring for a parent with advancing dementia, or the sibling who can't quite face visiting.
A moment that stays: "They may not remember what made them feel good, but they can have a memory of feeling good." Your visit counts, even if they forget it.
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
Content note: this episode discusses advanced dementia, carer grief, changed and aggressive behaviour, and end-of-life themes.
Be gentle with yourself while you listen, and come back to it another time if today isn't the day. For information and support, Dementia Australia's National Dementia Helpline is on 1800 100 500 (dementia.org.au). For support as a carer — Carer Gateway 1800 422 737 (Mon–Fri, 8am–5pm).
Find Put The Kettle On – Vera's free guide to the five questions worth asking your mum or dad – at https://putthekettleon.com.au
This episode was supported by Australian Unity Home Health and Care. Visit https://australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
This episode was supported by NSW Trustee and Guardian — wills, power of attorney and enduring guardianship, sorted properly, so the people you love aren't left guessing. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.

Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We all walk into a room and forget why we came in. So how do you tell ordinary forgetfulness from the early signs of something more? This week, in part one of our two-part dementia special, geriatrician Dr Stephanie Ward shows us what to actually look for.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
In this episode:
The Conversation: Part one of a two-part dementia special. Geriatrician and regular Clubber Dr Stephanie Ward joins Sarah Macdonald to untangle normal ageing from dementia from delirium — the early signs that are more than forgetting, why around one in five people worried about their memory are dealing with something else, and what to do next.
This Week's Hack: A sudden change — confusion that comes on over days, not months — is often delirium, brought on by a urinary tract infection, another illness or a medication. Unlike dementia it can be reversed, so it is a reason to see a doctor soon, not to give up hope.
Send this to: anyone quietly worried about a parent's memory, or their own.
A moment that stays: I have "cured" dementia before, just by stopping one or two tablets. Sometimes what looks like 'dementia' is medication, an infection or low mood — and it is treatable.
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
Content note: this episode discusses dementia, memory loss and caring for an unwell parent. Be gentle with yourself while you listen, and come back to it another time if today isn't the day. For information and support, Dementia Australia's National Dementia Helpline is on 1800 100 500 (dementia.org.au). For support as a carer — Carer Gateway 1800 422 737 (Mon–Fri, 8am–5pm).
Find Put The Kettle On – Vera's free guide to the five questions worth asking your mum or dad – at https://putthekettleon.com.au
This episode was supported by Australian Unity Home Health and Care. Visit https://australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
This episode was supported by NSW Trustee and Guardian — wills, power of attorney and enduring guardianship, sorted properly, so the people you love aren't left guessing. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.

Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald — Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader — Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer.
Audio + video edits by P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most of us have a conversation we keep avoiding – about ageing, about more help at home, about dying. In this week's episode, recorded live in Sydney, palliative care physician Dr Kathryn Mannix shows us how to have that tender conversation.

Recorded live at our Stay For Supper event, Sarah Macdonald sits down with Dr Kathryn Mannix — global campaigner, author of With the End in Mind and Listen, and palliative care physician — to discuss why these are tender conversations, not difficult ones, and how to start the ones we keep putting off with our ageing parents.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
This Week's Hack: Take the armour off, hand the authority back to your parent ("Mum, can you help me think this through?"), and then be quiet — for longer than feels comfortable.

Send this to: anyone bracing for a hard conversation with a parent, or a sibling who isn't quite there yet.

A moment that stays: Kathryn's "travel" metaphor for the end of life — when a dying parent talks about catching a bus or finding their ticket, go with them.
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
Today's guest: Dr Kathryn Mannix: author of With the End in Mind and Listen: How to Find the Words for Tender Conversations. Free animated short, 'A Beginner's Guide to Dying', available at https://kathrynmannix.com.
Content note: this episode discusses ageing, serious illness, dying and grief. If you'd like to talk to someone — Lifeline 13 11 14; Griefline 1300 845 745; Carer Gateway 1800 422 737.
Find Put The Kettle On – Vera's free guide to the five questions worth asking your mum or dad – at https://putthekettleon.com.au
With huge thanks to Altina Drinks for generously sponsoring our Stay For Supper evening. Visit https://altinadrinks.com.

This episode was supported by Australian Unity Home Health and Care. Visit https://australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
This episode was supported by NSW Trustee and Guardian — wills, power of attorney and enduring guardianship, sorted properly, so the people you love aren't left guessing. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.

Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald — Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader — Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer.
Audio + video edits by P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dementia is the leading cause of death in Australia, and a lot of what we believe about it is making things worse. This week, meet the man who moved in. Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
In this episode:
Our youngest guest yet. At 21, Dutch nurse Teun Toebes moved into the locked dementia ward of a nursing home and stayed three and a half years. Sarah Macdonald sits down with him on his first day in Australia to talk about what living alongside 130 housemates with dementia taught him: that the hardest part of the diagnosis is often not the disease, it's the way the world treats you once you have it. We don't lack beds or money, he says. We lack humanity.
This Week's Hack: Take them out, and keep showing up. Your parent may not remember the visit, but they remember the feeling. So do the drive, the cup of tea, the trip to the shops, even when it feels pointless. And when you don't know what to say or do, be okay with not knowing. Caring for someone with dementia is a shared job, not a solo one.
Send this to: Send this to your sibling, or to anyone who has stopped visiting because "they won't remember anyway." This is the episode that gently puts that one to bed.
A moment that stays: Teun takes his housemate Ellie to her son Marcel's house. She walks in, bursts into tears, and says, "Now I finally know where my son lives." She couldn't have told you the address. But she felt it.
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.
Topics covered in this episode:
- Why a 21-year-old nurse moved into a locked dementia ward, and what three and a half years taught him
- The "code of freedom": being the only resident who can open the door
- Why the stigma hurts more than the disease
- Identities change with dementia, but they are not lost
- The language problem: "brain gymnastics," "the restaurant of mistaken orders"
- How to be with a parent who has dementia, even when you don't know how
- Guilt, and why caring for someone with dementia is a shared responsibility
- "They remember the feeling, not the visit"
- Opening the locked doors: how 500+ Dutch care homes did it
- Over-medicalisation: thickener, walkers, hip airbags and protein drinks by default
- Quality of care vs quality of life
- "Use it or lose it": real knives, real plants, real dogs, real campfires
- Why one nursing home spent 10,000 euros a year on plastic plants
- The hospital-bed problem and the cost of standardising care
- Dementia as Australia's leading cause of death, and why that framing can backfire
Mentioned in this episode:
Human Forever — Teun Toebes and Jonathan de Jong's award-winning documentary, touring Australia. Tour dates: 11 JUNE – MELBOURNE, 12 JUNE – BANGALOW, 13 JUNE – BRISBANE. To find out more, visit https://human-forever.com/join-the-movement/
The Housemates — Teun's bestselling book about life on the ward.
Teun's new book with Jonathan de Jong — out September 2026.
Credits:
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you don't have to do it alone.
This episode was supported by Australian Unity Home Health and Care. Visit https://australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
This episode was supported by NSW Trustee and Guardian — wills, power of attorney and enduring guardianship, sorted properly, so the people you love aren't left guessing. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.
Sarah Macdonald — Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader — Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer.
Audio + video edits by P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.