Club Sandwich

Sandwich-generation carers don't get a holiday — not even on Mother's Day. Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]
In this episode:
The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and clinical psychologist Jo Lamble unpack the relationship shift nobody warns you about — when your mum stops worrying about you and starts needing you. They cover role reversal, unfiltered comments, re-triggered old wounds, the sibling who flies in like royalty, caring for mums who weren't there at all, and the long tail of Mother's Day grief.
This Week's Hack: Compartmentalise. Have shower time / scream time. Acknowledge the pain. Then close the box and be the person you want to be.
Listener Letter / Send-this-to: Send this to a sibling — let Jo Lamble say what you've been trying to say for months. Or send it to a friend who's about to have a hard Mother's Day.
Hot Mess Moment: Sarah's mum at the eye doctor announcing — loud enough for the whole shop — that "we got that thing because we were r*ped by Vikings."
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.
Topics covered in this episode:
- The sudden shift from being cared for to caring
- Role reversal — doing up your mother's seatbelt
- When personalities harden (or soften) with age
- The lucky few — when your mum was your rock
- When caring re-triggers old wounds and old patterns
- Compartmentalising — shower time, scream time
- When your mum loses her filter
- When she rewrites your history
- The sibling who flies in like royalty
- Caring for a mum who wasn't there for you
- Why Jo Lamble hates the word "boundaries"
- Mother's Day grief that doesn't end
- Making Mother's Day about you too — even just for 20 minutes
Credits:
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you don't have to do it alone.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]
Need more clarity at 3 AM? Vera gives you a structured 15-minute voice conversation to help you understand where your parent stands and what to do next. Discover more at vera.guide.
Sarah Macdonald — Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader — Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur — Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by P. Zinner Podcasts
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich — hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If a glass of wine has become your shortcut from caregiving stress to “I can finally exhale”, this episode is for you.
Ageing parents? You’ve got them. We’ve got you.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]
In this episode:
The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Melissa Reader talk honestly about alcohol in midlife, especially for women caring for ageing parents while juggling work, family, stress and the mental load of everyone else’s needs. They unpack why alcohol became such a normal coping tool for Gen X, why it can stop working in midlife, what it does to sleep, and how to build new rituals for the hardest hour of the day.
This Week’s Hack: Replace wine o’clock with time o’clock. Build a deliberate non-alcoholic ritual for the hardest part of the day, whether that is a proper mocktail, a walk, exercise, or something else that genuinely helps shift your energy.
Hot Mess Moment: Melissa shares the family gathering that went pear-shaped, and the two strong gin and tonics that followed.
Meet the regular Clubbers
Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia’s ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specializing in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg - GP and women’s health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand when “old” becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humor and honesty to the sandwich generation.
Topics covered in this episode
* midlife women and alcohol
* caring for ageing parents and stress
* why Gen X grew up drinking this way
* wine o’clock and the sandwich generation
* alcohol, hormones and sleep
* why alcohol can stop working in midlife
* ritual, habit and stress relief
* non-alcoholic alternatives
* mocktails and replacement rituals
* how to slow the day down without a drink
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services. Proactive local care that helps your parents live well at home, less stress for them, less worry for you, and more time for the good stuff. Visit https://www.australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
Credits
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you don’t have to do it alone.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]
Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia’s ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg - GP and women’s health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand when old becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services. Proactive local care that helps your parents live well at home, less stress for them, less worry for you, and more time for the good stuff. Visit https://www.australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
Need more clarity at 3 AM? Vera gives you a structured 15-minute voice conversation to help you understand where your parent stands and what to do next. Discover more at https://vera.guide.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Trying to work out aged care in Australia before you are forced into it? This episode is your practical starting point. Sarah Macdonald and Linda Mellors break down how aged care works, what My Aged Care actually does, when to start, what home care packages mean, and how to make early decisions that can save families stress later.
Ageing parents? You’ve got them. We’ve got you.
In this episode
The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Linda Mellors unpack aged care in Australia, from My Aged Care and assessments to home care packages, aged care at home, and how families can start planning before crisis hits.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]

Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia’s ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg - GP and women’s health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand when old becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.

This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services. Proactive local care that helps your parents live well at home, less stress for them, less worry for you, and more time for the good stuff. Visit australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.

Need more clarity at 3 AM? Vera gives you a structured 15-minute voice conversation to help you understand where your parent stands and what to do next. Discover more at vera.guide.
Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are your parents living longer, but not necessarily living well? In this episode, Sarah Macdonald talks with author Lucinda Holdforth about the private thoughts many carers have but rarely say out loud: what happens when old age stretches on, frailty deepens, dementia changes the person you love, and the caring role starts to swallow your own life.
Ageing parents? You’ve got them. We’ve got you.
Join / contact
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]
In this episode
The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Lucinda Holdforth unpack the emotional, practical and political reality of longer lives: dementia, chronic illness, caregiving overload, driving, advance care directives, assisted dying, and the urgent need to move from life at all costs to live well and die well.
This Week’s Hack:
Do the advance care directive early, but do not stop there. Make sure your family knows what it says, where it is, and how it will actually follow your parent into hospital or aged care when a crisis hits.
Listener Letter:
This episode speaks directly to the clubber who loves their parent deeply but is quietly wondering how much longer they can keep doing this, or who has heard Mum or Dad say “I’m done” and had no idea what to say next.
Hot Mess Moment:
Your parent is back in hospital after another fall. You are exhausted, scared, trying to make sense of medical language, and having the thought you feel ashamed to say out loud: are we helping them live, or just helping them go on?
Topics covered in this episode
why Australians are living longer and what that means for families
the 12-year burden of chronic illness and disability
dementia, frailty and the long goodbye
the emotional toll of years of caregiving
the administrative burden of advocating for ageing parents
when driving becomes dangerous and taking the keys feels impossible
ageism versus the structural tilt of wealth and policy
whether sandwich generation women ever get to “live their own life”
assisted dying, a “completed life”, and end-of-life choice
why advance care directives often fail in practice
how hospitals default to treatment and intervention
the case for moving from “life at all costs” to “live well and die well”
Sponsored by:
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services. Proactive local care that helps your parents live well at home, less stress for them, less worry for you, and more time for the good stuff. Visit australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
Need more clarity at 3 AM? Vera gives you a structured 15-minute voice conversation to help you understand where your parent stands and what to do next. Find it in the show notes or at vera.guide.
Credits
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera.guide, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you do not have to do it alone.
Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Worried about an ageing parent ending up in hospital? Caring from another city or another country? In this episode, Sarah Macdonald and Matt Preston talk about dementia, sibling guilt, hospital overwhelm, aged care delays, and why the smartest move is to plan earlier than feels necessary. Matt also reflects on the personal experience behind his current TV work on dementia: supporting his mum through the disease before she passed away.

Ageing parents? You’ve got them. We’ve got you.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]

The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Matt Preston unpack what families need to know about geriatric wards, dementia, long-distance caring, and the emotional and practical load of caring for ageing parents. They also connect Matt’s current TV work on dementia with his own experience of supporting his mum through dementia before she passed away.

This Week’s Hack: Start the conversation before it is urgent. Ask about wishes early, get assessments underway early, and do not wait for a fall or hospital stay to force decisions.

Listener Letter: This episode speaks directly to the clubber juggling kids, work and ageing parents, especially if you are carrying the emotional load from a distance or trying to get siblings on the same page.
Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia’s ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg - GP and women’s health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand when old becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.
Topics covered in this episode:
dementia is more than memory loss
- what geriatric wards are really like
- why older people are safer at home when possible
- bed block, aged care waits and hospital stress
- long-distance caring and fly-in guilt
- sibling conflict and how not to make it worse
- advanced care wishes and hard conversations
- how to keep connection with a parent living with dementia
- why women still carry most of the caring load
- Matt Preston on ageing, fear and making the most of the years ahead
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services. Proactive local care that helps your parents live well at home, less stress for them, less worry for you, and more time for the good stuff. Visit australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.

Need more clarity at 3 AM? Vera gives you a structured 15-minute voice conversation to help you understand where your parent stands and what to do next. Find it in the show notes or at vera.guide.
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you do not have to do it alone.

Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.