Club Sandwich

In this bonus episode, Sarah Macdonald is joined by Kerry Milligan and Melissa Reader to discuss representations of the sandwich generation on screen.
Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.
FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces.
Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Grief doesn't run to the timetable you were handed. A year after her mum Emmie died, Kerry Milligan thought she was managing well. Then she went back to Tasmania with a small plastic container of her mother's ashes, and found out that year one isn't a finish line.
Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.
For support: Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Griefline 1300 845 745. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
In this episode:
The Conversation: Sarah and Kerry go back to Tasmania: where Kerry was born, where her ancestors are buried, and where she took one of the three small portions of her mother's ashes she'd kept. Kerry describes being followed around Battery Point by the voices of her dead ancestors, letting Emmie go into the Derwent from the back of the MONA ferry, and the panic that caught up with her underground at MONA soon after. From there: grief as a wave rather than a staircase, the triggers nobody warns you about, and how a kidney stone at 6:45 on a Sunday morning turned a conversation about her mother's death into a conversation about her own.
This Week's Hack: Your advance care directive is no use in a drawer. Lodge a copy with your GP so it's on your medical record, and make sure the person who'd actually drive you to emergency has one too — because when it happens, you'll leave the house barely dressed.
Listener Letter: Send this to the friend who's somewhere past the first anniversary and has quietly decided they should be over it by now. You don't need to write anything. Just send it.
Topics covered in this episode:
- What the one-year mark after a parent's death actually feels like
- Grief as a wave: why it doesn't leave, it just changes shape
- Scattering a parent's ashes, and choosing where and when
- Grief triggers, and why the body seems to remember anniversaries
- Advance care directives, and who speaks for you in an emergency
- Facing your own mortality once your parent is gone
- Sorting through a parent's belongings — and the things you still can't touch
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services: australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.
Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au.
Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at vera.guide/faces.
Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Legendary ladies Janelle Adams and Nicole Bennett are looking after Janelle's 94-year-old dad Ernie, Ernie's dog Bella, and their two boys Max and Sam – all under one roof.
They shared their story with Sarah on last Sunday's episode of Compass (available on ABC iView), and on today's episode of Club Sandwich, they join us with an update about how life has changed since Sarah visited them.
For support: Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Griefline 1300 845 745. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
Watch the Compass episode 'Sandwiched' on ABC iView: https://iview.abc.net.au/show/compass/series/40/video/RN2511H023S00
Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au.
Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at vera.guide/faces.
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services: australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Melissa Reader provides an update on Vera's FACES campaign.

FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces.

Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.
Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She found out she was a carer from a line buried in her dad's hospital discharge papers, not from anyone asking her. This week's guest lived the exact crisis she'd spent her career trying to fix.
Content note: this episode discusses the deaths of both of the guest's parents within six months of each other, terminal illness, carer burnout, grief, and systemic failures in aged care support. For support: Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Griefline 1300 845 745. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
In this episode:
The Conversation: Gohar Yazdabadi, CEO of Council on the Ageing (COTA) NSW, joins Sarah Macdonald to talk about losing both her parents within six months of each other this year, her father to a brain tumour and stroke, her mother to ovarian cancer and leukaemia, while raising two young daughters and running a full-time advocacy organisation. She didn't realise she was a carer until a hospital discharge note said "daughter is experiencing extreme carer stress." Covers the year-long wait for an approved home-care package that meant her dad couldn't be safely discharged from hospital, being refused compassionate-grounds after-school care, and the administrative burden, estates, probate, emptying a 35-year family home, that continued after both deaths.

This Week's Hack: If a system, a form or a person finally names what you're carrying, whether it's "carer stress" or something else, let that be the moment you ask for help, even if it feels too late or too small. The acknowledgement doesn't change anything on its own, but it's permission to stop pretending you're fine.

Send this to: anyone juggling two ageing parents at once, or anyone who's ever had their caring role questioned or dismissed by a system that's meant to help.

A moment that stays: "No part or period of a relationship makes that relationship or defines that relationship," Gohar says. The hardest twelve months of caring for her parents wasn't what defined her whole relationship with them, and she's consciously working to remember the joy, not just the crisis.
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
About Gohar Yazdabadi: CEO, Council on the Ageing (COTA) NSW, the peak advocacy body for older people in NSW. Also this week: Gohar features in an ABC Compass special on the sandwich generation, presented by Sarah Macdonald, airing this weekend 8-9 Aug 2026 (on iView after).
Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au.
Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at vera.guide/faces.
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services: australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.