Club Sandwich

Feeling guilty all the time? Guilty you are not doing enough for your parent. Guilty you are not present enough for your kids, your partner or your job. Guilty for wanting a break. Guilty for even thinking this is all too much.
In this episode, Sarah Macdonald is joined by clinical psychologist Jo Lamble to tackle one of the biggest emotional burdens of sandwich generation life: guilt. They unpack the difference between guilt and remorse, why women are especially vulnerable to it, how guilt can morph into resentment, and the unspoken thoughts carers often feel ashamed to admit.
This is an honest, practical conversation about how to stop punishing yourself and start responding with more self-compassion.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]
In this episode:
The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Jo Lamble unpack why caregiving guilt feels so constant when you are caring for ageing parents, juggling work and family, and trying not to disappear yourself.
This Week’s Hack: Catch the guilt early and ask yourself: what would I say to a friend in this exact situation? Then say that to yourself.
Listener Letter: The unspoken question underneath this episode is brutally familiar - how do I know what I should feel guilty about versus what is just breaking me?
Hot Mess Moment: The guilt spiral that starts with one missed call or one hard thought and turns into feeling like a bad daughter, bad mother, bad partner and bad person.
Meet the regular Clubbers
Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia’s ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg - GP and women’s health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand when “old” becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.
Topics Covered in this episode
- guilt vs remorse
- caregiving guilt and the sandwich generation
- guilt about work, family and not doing enough
- self-care guilt
- guilt about moving a parent into aged care
- the taboo thought that you wish it would all end
- women, motherhood and why guilt hits harder
- parents who use guilt trips
- resentment as guilt’s best friend
- CBT, self-talk and self-compassion
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Australian Unity. Visit AustralianUnity.com.au/ClubSandwich
Credits
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera.guide, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you don’t have to do it alone.
Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your mum or dad insists everything is fine, but you can see the fall risk, the spoiled food, the missed cues and the slow slide, it can make you feel like you’re losing your mind. This episode is for the daughter who’s being called bossy when what she really is, is exhausted, worried, and carrying too much.
Ageing parents? You’ve got them. We’ve got you.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]
The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Dr Stephanie Ward dive into denial, resistance, dignity, autonomy, cognitive change, and how to help an ageing parent who refuses support.

This Week’s Hack: Don’t try to fix everything at once. Pick one concrete safety issue, revisit it gently, and frame support as something that helps you too: “Would you do this one thing for me?”
Listener Letter: Anjali, 58, is caring for her 84-year-old parents. Dad has had a fall. Mum can barely see the stove. Their house feels unsafe, but every suggestion of help is met with “No, we’re fine.” She wants to know how to face reality without destroying their dignity.

Hot Mess Moment: You’re over there four times a week, finding wilted food, mildew in the washing machine, and signs things are slipping, while the interstate sibling visits for a roast and says, “They seem fine to me.”
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia’s ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specializing in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg - GP and women’s health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand when “old” becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humor and honesty to the sandwich generation.
Topics covered this episode: ageing parents in denial, refusing help, loss of independence, dignity of risk, cognitive change, dementia concerns, My Aged Care, caregiver burnout, sibling denial, safety at home, autonomy, how to talk to resistant parents
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Australian Unity. Visit AustralianUnity.com.au/ClubSandwich
Credits
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera.guide, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you don’t have to do it alone. Download Vera's free "home is where the heart is: how to keep them there - practical field guide to navigating aged care" at clubsandwich.community/resources

Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

They want to stay home. The hard part is making that possible.
In this episode, Sarah Macdonald and Melissa Reader talk about one of the biggest questions families face: how do you help an ageing parent stay at home for as long as possible, without waiting for a fall, a hospital stay or a full-blown crisis? They cover the emotional pull of home, the practical reality of care, and the steps that matter most if you want to plan early instead of scrambling later.
Home is where their heart is: access Vera's Field Guide for the Sandwich Generation here.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]
In this episode:
The Conversation:
Sarah Macdonald and Melissa Reader dive into what it really takes to help ageing parents stay at home longer, and how to start planning because “ageing happens slowly… until it doesn’t.”
🔧 This Week’s Hack:
Be there for the assessment, tell the truth, and make sure you’re registered as your parent’s support person.
💌 Listener Letter:
How do I help my parent stay in their own home without waiting for a crisis to make the decision for us?
🔥 Hot Mess Moment:
You don’t want to be in a hospital corridor at 2am discovering there’s a huge wait for care and no plan in place.
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia’s ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg - GP and women’s health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand when “old” becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.
Topics covered in this episode:
staying at home, ageing in place, My Aged Care, aged care assessments, Support at Home, CHSP, home modifications, family planning, denial, care at home, older parents, sandwich generation
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Australian Unity. Visit AustralianUnity.com.au/homehealth
Credits
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera.guide, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you don’t have to do it alone.
Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you’re caring for ageing parents and quietly thinking “I cannot keep going like this”, you’re not imagining it. Sometimes burnout is not a mindset. It’s your body calling in the debt.
Ageing Parents? You've got them, we've got you.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected]

In this episode:
The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Dr Ginni Mansberg (GP and women’s health advocate) get brutally practical about what “real self-care” looks like in the sandwich years, and why midlife bodies hit a tipping point.
🔧 This Week's Hack: The minimum viable self-care reset:
1) Book a GP check-up and rule out the basics (iron, thyroid, sleep apnea, anything fixable).
2) Reset your sleep expectations and take snoring seriously (it can be a health issue, not just annoying).
3) Build one steady routine and a doable nutrition baseline (protein, fibre, calcium) without becoming a full-time meal-prep influencer.
💌 Listener Letter: Sharon asks how to spot burnout when her body has started rebelling after years of 10-hour days and caring for everyone else.
🔥 Hot Mess Moment: Sleep in your 50s, teeth grinding, snoring orchestras, and the myth that “good sleep” means eight perfect uninterrupted hours.

Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specializing in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr. Ginni Mansberg - GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr. Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand how we age.
Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.

Topics covered in this episode:
- Carer burnout and the “body tantrum” warning signs
- Menopause, inflammation, and why midlife health can suddenly slide
- Cortisol myths, chronic stress, and what burnout can look like physically
- Sleep in your 50s: what’s normal, what’s not, and when to investigate sleep apnea
- Hypervigilance and insomnia (and why your brain won’t switch off at 3am)
- Real self-care basics: check-ups, routines, food, movement, and asking for medical help
- Brain health: routine plus novelty (learning new things without blowing up your life)
- A gentle nudge to rethink alcohol as “the only off switch”

Episode sponsor:
Altina Drinks - non-alcoholic craft wines for the end-of-day ritual. 15% off with code CLUBSANDWICH at altinadrinks.com

Credits
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life, so you don't have to do it alone.
Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ageing in an ageist society can feel confronting, especially when you are caring for older parents while navigating your own changing body, identity and future.
In this episode of Club Sandwich, Sarah Macdonald and Clubber Kerry Milligan (Gogglebox) explore how to age in an ageist culture, why invisibility can feel painful but also freeing, how body image and confidence shift over time, and how lived experience can become a source of strength. They also talk about age discrimination, mortality, proactive health, and the freedom that can come with getting older.
Kerry brings humour, honesty and hard-won perspective to a conversation that will resonate with women in midlife, carers, and anyone trying to age well without buying into fear, shame or impossible beauty standards. It is candid, warm and deeply relatable, with plenty of laughs, including Kerry’s very real “whisker watch” moment.
Ageing parents? You’ve got them. We’ve got you.
Join the Club at clubsandwich.community
Send us your question: [email protected]
This episode of Club Sandwich is sponsored by Altina Drinks.
If you’ve been quietly reassessing your relationship with alcohol — not quitting, not announcing anything — just noticing… you’re not alone.
So many of us in midlife are realising it’s not even the alcohol we love — it’s the ritual. The glass at the end of a long caregiving day. Something that feels grown-up. A marker between chaos and rest.
Altina creates complex, layered, non-alcoholic drinks designed for adult palates. They feel special. They feel intentional. They feel like a proper pour.
You can explore Altina’s range at altinadrinks.com.
Topics include ageism, ageing women, ageing naturally, menopause, body image, visibility and invisibility, confidence in midlife, caring for ageing parents, mortality, proactive ageing and ageing well.
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you do not have to do it alone.
Sarah Macdonald is Host and Executive Producer.
Melissa Reader is Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer and Clubber.
Rachel Fountain is Executive Producer.
Audio and video edits by Fountain Media Group.
Theme music by Sean Wayland.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.