We Ride at Dawn (ish)

Thirty years of friendship means there are very few secrets left. Fortunately, and unfortunately, for Jess, Bonnie remembers all of them. This week, one of Jess’s dearest friends from Brown joins us to talk about what actually makes a friendship last three decades, starting with their very first impressions of each other and the inexplicable series of events that landed a 5’5” girl from Los Angeles, with strong Elle-Woods-before-Elle-Woods energy, on Brown’s elite crew team of giants. They get into the secret sauce of their friendship: being game for the adventure, making the hard stuff easy to talk about, and making the people around you feel good. Then we head to late-’90s New York, where they were baby adults navigating the city and Jess’s too-tight leather pants somehow became their secret weapon for getting past the velvet ropes at exclusive nightclubs. And then there’s the small matter of someone earning the nickname “the Kissing Bandit.” Plus: the three words Bonnie thinks describe Jess best after knowing her for 30 years. Come for the college stories. Stay for the friendship advice. And remember: always be game.

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Jess and Camilla are on opposite ends of the back-to-school emotional spiral this week: Jess just dropped her son off at college. Camilla just sent hers off to kindergarten. Different-sized backpacks. Same car cry. Then there are the dorm rooms. Apparently, sending your kid to college now includes $20,000 interior design jobs for a room they'll live in for eight months. Camilla calls for a ban. Jess has thoughts. A debate ensues. Also: the Sonny Angels takeover, the tiny plastic creatures currently holding tween girls-and their parents' wallets—hostage. And Camilla unveils her completely reasonable plan for coping when her kids eventually leave home: buy a spy robot and follow them. Healthy! Normal! And next week, Camilla is off filming Grey's Anatomy, which means Jess is bringing in a mystery guest. She's dropping hints. We're saying nothing.

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We’re back and we’re airborne, sort of. With the holiday weekend ahead we’re talking everything that’s wrong with air travel, starting with the TSA gaslighting us for two decades straight. Laptops out, laptops in, shoes on, shoes off, belt on, belt off, nobody knows the rules anymore, and somehow, we’ve all just accepted it. We’re also talking fellow passengers behaving like full-on criminals before the plane even leaves the gate, the unspoken marital warfare that is childcare at 35,000 feet, and the real debate on clapping when you land: is it only earned when it feels like a celebration of life, or are you out here clapping for a plane just doing its one job? Plus, the real question: if you clock something on the stranger next to you’s phone that says their “business trip” is not exactly business, do you say something? We have thoughts.

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This week, Camilla calls in the big (tanned) guns: Kyle K. He started as her Barry’s trainer/self-care guru, infiltrated her inner circle, and now—for better or worse—he’s part of yours.

Kyle promised to come in unfiltered and spill allll the tea. He delivered: Wellness. Witches. Workout lies. Exes. Revenge. The art of being petty. And the wildly specific things that can send him into an immediate spiral.Plus: the story behind Kyle K Quotes, the anonymously run Instagram account that’s been documenting—and leaking—the most outrageous things he’s said for years. It’s a real-life Gossip Girl—and Kyle is its favorite target.

Is it iconic? Correct. Is it mildly unhinged? Correct.Most importantly—he’s now here for YOU. Send in your self-care dilemmas. Kyle K is officially taking cases.

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Jessica and Camilla are back with round two of the Messy Mailbag, and this one gets personal. Camilla finally tells the story behind copying Jessica's glasses, and how her subscription... we mean, prescription, did her dirty. Then Jessica drops a bombshell: she might run for president, and Camilla's first duty as campaign manager is instating "Messy Margarita Mondays" as official policy. The girls debate which historical era they'd each be thriving in, dig up some 9-1-1: Nashville and Grey's Anatomy behind-the-scenes secrets that still crack them up to this day. Plus: on-set rituals, a secret handshake, and the diaper surprise nobody warns you about, but every boy mom can relate to. Keep the questions coming... this is only round two!

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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