Affairs, Trust, and the Work of Healing After Betrayal
Affairs can devastate a relationship, leaving couples questioning everything they thought they knew about each other. In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with couples therapist Andrea Dindinger to talk about healing after betrayal, the slow process of rebuilding trust, and the courage it takes to move forward. We unpack why affairs happen, what betrayal does to relationships, and how couples can recover together or separately with intention and care.What you'll learn in this episode:Why betrayal can feel so destabilising and isolatingHow couples can start rebuilding trust after an affairSigns a relationship can heal versus when it’s time to walk awayThe importance of self-reflection and understanding attachment needsHow therapists support couples in high-conflict or post-betrayal recoveryWhy healing isn’t about quick fixes but consistent emotional workHealing after betrayal takes time, courage, and a lot of honest conversations. Whether you’re the one who’s been hurt or the one seeking forgiveness, there’s a path forward if both partners are willing to do the work. Tune in for this compassionate and practical discussion, and share it with someone who may need hope and guidance. Connect with Andrea Dindinger:Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist & Relationship Coach Andrea Dindinger is a San Francisco-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years’ experience helping people create meaningful, fulfilling intimate relationships. https://www.andreadindinger.com/ https://enroll.andreadindinger.com/relationship-reboot-courseResources:The Therapy HubAndrea Dindinger’s websiteBook: After the Affair by Janis A. SpringEsther Perels: The State of Affairs and Mating in CaptivityEmily Nagoski's Come as You Are and Come TogetherConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
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Suicide, Grief and Connection: An R U OK? Day Conversation
When suicide is mentioned, the room often goes quiet. The heaviness of the topic shows how much fear and stigma surround it, but also how important it is to talk about.In this solo episode of This Complex Life, I explore the silence around suicide, why the subject feels so confronting, and the impact it has not only on families and communities but also on practitioners who sit with these stories.You’ll hear about:• Why suicide is such a difficult conversation to have• The ripple effect on families, friends, partners, children and communities• The complicated grief that follows suicide and how it is carried• Myths and misconceptions that keep people from asking directly• The importance of clear, direct language when you are worried about someone• The impact of suicide work on practitioners and the need for support• Why connection and follow-up matter more than perfect wordsEpisode discussedhttps://marievakakis.com.au/when-a-client-dies-by-suicide-reflections-for-mental-health-professionals/If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for support. Lifeline 13 11 14, Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467, Beyond Blue 1300 224 636, Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800.Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
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What Bad Therapy Taught Me About Good Therapy
Therapy is often described as a safe and healing space, but that’s not always the reality. In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with Carrie Wiita, adjunct professor, consultant, and creator of Interpersonal Branding, to explore what bad therapy can teach us about being better therapists and more empowered clients.We talked about what happens when therapy misses the mark, why repair skills are crucial, and how both therapists and clients can work together to build a safe, supportive relationship.Whether you’re a therapist wanting to grow your skills or someone navigating therapy, this conversation highlights why honesty, transparency, and fit are at the heart of meaningful therapeutic work.We explore:• How defensiveness can damage the client–therapist relationship• Why rupture and repair is one of the most important therapeutic skills• The role of client expectations in therapy outcomes• How deliberate practice builds confidence and skill• Why talking about therapy’s side effects matters• How marketing and branding can help clients find the right fit• Practical advice for clients to ask the right questions• Why mistakes in therapy are inevitable but repair is possibleResources:• Santio Counselling Centre• Inside Social Work Podcast• Get Ready for Therapy GuideConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
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What Therapists Get Wrong (and How We Can Do Better)
Lessons learned from Very Bad Therapy. The Very Bad Therapy podcast has changed the way I think about therapy and the stories we do and do not tell. This episode is a replay from Inside Social Work with hosts Ben and Carrie.I loved this podcast and I learned so much from listening to it. It speaks to both therapists and non therapists, and it fits perfectly with the theme of This Complex Life. Therapy is difficult, messy, and complicated. I had the absolute pleasure of interviewing the hosts of the Very Bad Therapy Podcast, Ben and Carrie. We explore what therapists get wrong, how bad therapy can look different for every client, and why people so often blame themselves when therapy does not help. Ben and Carrie share what they have learned from hundreds of client stories and how those stories have changed the way they practise. We also talk about the side effects of therapy, what to do with feelings of defensiveness or imposter syndrome, the importance of asking about expectations in the first session, and how to repair when ruptures happen.Key Takeaways• Bad therapy cannot be reduced to a checklist. It depends on the individual client experience• Many clients internalise bad therapy and believe they are at fault• Therapy can have side effects and sometimes people feel worse afterwards• Mistakes will happen. Repair and humility matter more than perfection• Asking about expectations is just as important as setting goals• Therapists will feel defensive. The work is to notice it and respond with openness• Deliberate practice builds skills by focusing on one area at a time• Administrative details like fees, scheduling, and emails are part of the relationship and need careResourcesVery Bad Therapy podcast with Ben Feinman and Carrie WiitaModern Therapist Survival Guide with Kurt and KatieSentio Counselling Centre in CaliforniaLearn Psychotherapy podcast with Ben and CarrieInside Social Work with Marie VakakisIf this episode resonated with you please follow and review the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Sharing the episode helps more people join these honest conversations about mental health and relationships.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
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The 4 Habits that Predict Relationship Trouble
Have you ever had a fight with your partner that started over something small but somehow turned into a huge blow up? It’s rarely about the dishes, the bills, or who walked the dog. The way we argue matters more than the content of the fight.In this solo episode, I talk about the four relationship habits that John and Julie Gottman call the “Four Horsemen” patterns of conflict that predict relationship distress and even separation. More importantly, I share the antidotes: what to do instead.We’ll explore:Why conflict isn’t a bad sign and it’s how you handle it that mattersThe three main conflict styles couples useThe four habits that harm relationships: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewallingPractical antidotes for each of these habitsWhy repair and accountability are more powerful than getting it right every timeWhether you’re in a long-term relationship or just want to understand communication better, this episode will help you notice patterns and make small but meaningful shifts.Resources:The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – John and Julie GottmanFight Right – Julie Schwartz Gottman and John GottmanListen now and start shifting the way you think about conflict.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
Got questions about parenting, teenagers, or relationships? Ever wonder why your teen won’t talk to you, or why your relationship feels like hard work lately? Hi, I’m Marie Vakakis—a therapist, mental health educator, and someone who’s been behind the scenes with countless families and couples navigating the ups and downs of real life.
This Complex Life is your go-to for relatable insights, practical advice, and real talk about parenting, raising teenagers, and navigating relationships. I’ll share what I’ve learned from years of sitting in the therapist’s chair—helping parents understand their teens, supporting couples through tough times, and figuring out what actually works when life feels overwhelming.
Whether it’s understanding your teen’s moods, handling family drama, or reconnecting in your relationship, I’m here to give you practical advice, relatable insights and a little humour to keep it real. Parenting and relationships aren’t easy, but they don’t have to feel impossible.
Subscribe to This Complex Life for honest advice and actionable tips to make life’s messiness more manageable.
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