Got questions about parenting, teenagers, or relationships? Ever wonder why your teen won’t talk to you, or why your relationship feels like hard work lately? H...
Understanding Trauma and Its Impact with Kathryn Eberly
How Past Experiences Shape Our LivesWhy do certain situations trigger such strong emotions? Katheryn Eberly, a mental health social worker and family therapist, joins me to explore how early experiences shape our beliefs, why past wounds still affect us, and how we can start to shift unhelpful patterns.Key TakeawaysTrauma affects how we see ourselves and respond to stress."Big T" trauma stems from major events, while "little t" trauma comes from repeated distressing experiences.Core beliefs like "I'm not good enough" often develop in childhood.Emotional reactions in daily life can signal deeper unresolved experiences.Recognising patterns can help shift automatic responses.Resources MentionedWhat Happened to You? – Bruce Perry & Oprah WinfreySelf-compassion work by Kristin NeffPrevious episode: “I’m Not Good EnoughConnect with Kathrynhttps://restoringfamilies.com.au/ Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
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How to Align Your Life with Your Values
Have you ever wondered if your goals truly reflect what’s most important to you? In this episode, clinical psychologist Patch Callahan joins me to break down the difference between values and goals and why living by your values is the key to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.We explore how to uncover your core values, navigate challenges in defining them, and integrate them into your everyday decisions. Whether you’re reevaluating your priorities for the new year or seeking deeper alignment in life, this episode offers practical insights to help you connect with what truly matters.Episode SummaryPatch Callahan shares the transformative power of values, particularly in the context of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). We discuss how values differ from goals, why they matter, and actionable steps to define and live by them. Tune in to discover how aligning your life with your values can lead to greater purpose and authenticity.Key Takeaways • Values vs. Goals: Values guide your actions and choices, providing meaning, while goals are specific targets or achievements. • Why Values Matter: Living according to your values fosters authenticity and a sense of purpose.Defining Your Values: • Reflect on key life domains: family, relationships, work, health, and leisure. • Identify what’s deeply important to you within each domain. • Narrow your focus to 5–6 core values that resonate most. • Challenges in Identifying Values: Overcoming confusion or uncertainty requires reflection, experimentation, and sometimes professional support. • Practical Tips for Value-Based Living: • Use discomfort as a guide—it often points to what matters most. • Prioritise decisions that align with your core principles. • Build psychological flexibility to stay committed to your values even when faced with challenges.ResourcesBullseye Activity: A practical tool for clarifying and connecting with your values. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FOEsnX87HoLearn More About Patch Callahan: Patch’s Bio and ServicesIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone reflecting on their priorities this year! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and join the conversation about living with purpose.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
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Is It Time to Rethink Your Relationship with Booze?
Have you ever found yourself questioning your drinking habits or wondering why alcohol feels so deeply woven into our social lives? This episode will inspire you to take a closer look at addiction, coping strategies, and the pressures around drinking.In this episode, I sit down with psychologist Tara Hurster, an expert in addiction and substance use, to challenge the myths surrounding addiction and explore how we can make healthier, more intentional choices. From practical tools like the HALT method to navigating sober dating, Tara offers invaluable insights for anyone looking to change their relationship with alcohol.What We Cover in This EpisodeUnderstanding Addiction Beyond the MythsAddiction isn’t about weakness or moral failure; it’s a learned way to cope with life’s stresses and traumas.Tara shares her journey from supporting peers in high school to becoming an addiction specialist.Addiction Isn’t a DiseaseAddiction is not a disease or a moral failing—it’s a behavioural response to stress and emotions.Tara recounts her experiences working in an inpatient psychiatric hospital and how they shaped her views.Practical Strategies for Managing Substance UseThe HALT method: Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? Tara adds “Hydrated” and “Health” to the mix for a more holistic approach.Tara explains how checking in with these needs can prevent mindless behaviours, like reaching for a drink.Navigating Social Pressures Around AlcoholSimple strategies for declining a drink, from “I’m not drinking today” to a white lie like “I’m on antibiotics.”Setting boundaries is okay and can help you maintain your goals.Sober Dating: Building Authentic ConnectionsTips for enjoying dates without alcohol and focusing on meaningful connections.Tara introduces the FRIES acronym: Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific, to help with decision-making in dating and intimacy.The Sober Curious MovementA growing trend encouraging people to question their relationship with alcohol. Younger generations are leading the charge by embracing life without booze.Resources MentionedAlcohol and Drug Information Service: Call 1800 250 015 or visit ADIS WebsiteConnect with Tara Hurster:Website: Tara ClinicInstagram: @TaraHursterEnjoyed the Episode?If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on your favourite podcast platform. It helps others discover the show and keeps me inspired to create more conversations like this. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this episode with someone who might benefit!
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50:00
Are We Really Fighting About the Christmas Ham?
Holidays are meant to be magical, but let’s be honest – they can also be a whirlwind of stress, unmet expectations, and arguments over things like... ham on napkins. Ever found yourself mid-fight during the holiday season, wondering, “What are we even fighting about?” This episode is for you.As a therapist, I see this all the time in my sessions: couples bickering over seemingly small things that often hold deeper meaning. Today, I’m unpacking what’s really behind those seemingly silly holiday fights and sharing practical ways to handle them with curiosity and connection.We’ll explore why the conflict isn’t really about the napkins or the ham, but what they represent – memories, traditions, or unmet needs. So, whether you’re dealing with family chaos, mismatched holiday vibes, or just the general holiday rush, I’ve got you covered.Key Takeaways:Why holiday fights are rarely about what they seem – and how to figure out what’s really going on.The importance of understanding your partner’s holiday traditions and what they mean to them.How to approach disagreements with curiosity rather than conflict.Tips for validating your partner’s feelings (even if you don’t agree!).Why compromise is healthy – and how to do it without dismissing each other’s needs.How to start meaningful conversations about celebrating holidays together.The power of acknowledging sadness when things don’t go as planned.Resources:Well, Hello Anxiety Podcast: My conversation with Jodi Richardson where we chatted about mismatched holiday vibes, setting boundaries, and handling family chaos. Listen here.Christmas holiday boundaries blog – Additional tips and articles on holiday stress and relationship dynamics.If you’ve enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to leave a review and subscribe for more conversations on navigating life and relationships. Let’s keep the conversation going on social media – I’d love to hear your thoughts!Ready to hit reset on your relationship? Join me for a workshop packed with practical tools and guided prompts to help you and your partner communicate better, tackle tricky topics like money, and create a clear plan for the year ahead. -- JOIN ME LIVE--https://marievakakis.com.au/events/
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Are Your Holiday Boundaries Strong Enough?
Does the holiday season leave you feeling stressed and overcommitted? With endless parties, gift exchanges, and family gatherings, it’s easy to say yes to everything and forget about your own needs. In this episode, I’m sharing how to set boundaries that protect your energy, time, and budget, so you can truly enjoy the festive season without the burnout.I’ll explore why setting boundaries matters and how to communicate them clearly, even when it’s hard. From managing tricky family dynamics to sticking to a budget for gifts and dinners, this episode is packed with practical strategies to help you navigate the holidays with more ease and confidence.In this episode I discuss How to recognise your limits and avoid overcommitting during the holidaysWhy boundaries are about your actions, not controlling othersTips for setting clear financial limits without guiltHow to manage social and family pressures with calm and confidenceThe power of saying no and following through on your boundariesPractical ways to offer alternatives that work better for youConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
Got questions about parenting, teenagers, or relationships? Ever wonder why your teen won’t talk to you, or why your relationship feels like hard work lately? Hi, I’m Marie Vakakis—a therapist, mental health educator, and someone who’s been behind the scenes with countless families and couples navigating the ups and downs of real life.
This Complex Life is your go-to for relatable insights, practical advice, and real talk about parenting, raising teenagers, and navigating relationships. I’ll share what I’ve learned from years of sitting in the therapist’s chair—helping parents understand their teens, supporting couples through tough times, and figuring out what actually works when life feels overwhelming.
Whether it’s understanding your teen’s moods, handling family drama, or reconnecting in your relationship, I’m here to give you practical advice, relatable insights and a little humour to keep it real. Parenting and relationships aren’t easy, but they don’t have to feel impossible.
Subscribe to This Complex Life for honest advice and actionable tips to make life’s messiness more manageable.
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