This Complex Life

Most couples have had the same money argument dozens of times without ever having the real conversation underneath it. Research shows that 58% of Australian couples report finances as a major source of conflict, and a study of over 5,500 couples found the pattern of the conversation predicted the outcome, not the financial situation.
This episode covers:
Why money fights are almost never about the money
The money stories we carry from childhood and how they shape every conversation about finances
How money becomes about power, identity and influence in a relationship
The gendered lens we bring to money conversations and why it matters
Questions to ask your partner to open the conversation rather than shut it down
Why curiosity before problem solving is the thing that actually changes things

ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Submit a question to the Podcast
https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Sex and disability. Two words most people still find uncomfortable in the same sentence. I sat down with sexologist Casey Payne to talk about what we get wrong, why pleasure belongs to everyone regardless of how their body works, and what it actually looks like to reclaim intimacy after disability, illness, or a body that's changed.
Things Discussed
Why disability and sexuality are both taboo and what happens when you put them together
Redefining sex beyond intercourse and why that matters for anyone whose body has changed
The orgasm gap and why around 90 per cent of women can't orgasm through penetration alone
How carers and parents can support sexual autonomy without having every conversation themselves
Practical ways to start reclaiming pleasure after illness, injury, or chronic health conditions
How to find a sexologist in Australia and what to expect

Chapter Timestamps
[00:00] Sex and disability: why this conversation matters
[03:00] Redefining what sex actually is
[06:30] Body image and who sex is for
[09:00] The orgasm gap and sex toys as tools
[13:00] Carers, parents and adult sexuality
[18:30] How sex education lowers abuse risk
[22:00] Reclaiming sexuality after disability
[26:00] Starting with pleasure, not sex
[28:00] What sex education should look like
[29:30] How to find a sexologist in Australia

Resources and Links
The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, includes a workbook
The Orgasm Gap by Karen Gurney
Sex Education on Netflix, seasons 1 and 2 recommended
Society of Australian Sexologists: sexologist.org.au
Pleasure Pixel professional development course for support workers: pleasurepixel.com.au
Free resource on getting comfortable talking about sex: marievakakis.com.au/time-to-get-comfortable-talking-about-sex

Keep the Conversation Going
Download the free resource at marievakakis.com.au/time-to-get-comfortable-talking-about-sex
Got a question about sex, intimacy, or relationships? Submit it at forms.gle/ExJAeBTXAfn8xGkQ9 and it might feature in a future Ask Marie episode.
If this episode resonated, share it with someone who might need it. A rating on Apple Podcasts helps more people find the show.

Guest Information
Casey Payne is a sexologist specialising in sexual health, disability, and intimacy, with a professional development course for support workers and other resources for adults at pleasurepixel.com.au.
About the Show
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marievakakis/
https://www.youtube.com/@marievakakis
facebook.com/marievakakisconsulting

The ick in dating, it’s that moment where someone does something completely normal, and your whole body just shuts down. A 2025 study found that 64% of people have felt it, and about a quarter ended the relationship because of it. It is a real psychological phenomenon, and it might be telling you more about yourself than the person across the table.
This episode covers:
What the ick actually is and why it happens
Red flags versus superficial triggers
How shame, projection and avoidant attachment show up as the ick
Whether we are being too picky in the wrong ways and not picky enough in the right ones
What to do when the ick shows up in your relationship

Resources:
If you want to move from reacting to reflecting, download my Conflict & Connection Guide to help you navigate those moments of disconnect.
https://marievakakis.com.au/working-with-conflict-in-couples-therapy/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/guys-things-women-do-ick_l_65fdc42fe4b087dad305664b

Have you ever had a reaction to your partner that felt huge?
Like a ten out of ten response to something small?
You are crying over coffee.
They are confused.
You are both thinking, what just happened?
It makes sense that this feels confusing. Most couples are not fighting about the present moment. They are reacting from something older.
In this episode, I explore how your wounded child shows up in adult relationships, why conflict can feel bigger than the situation and how attachment patterns keep couples stuck in the same loop.
This is not about blame. It is about understanding the pattern.
In this episode I cover:
• Why small arguments turn into big emotional reactions
• How childhood needs for safety, soothing and validation shape adult conflict
• What anxious and avoidant attachment can look like in a fight
• Why you get louder and they shut down
• What secure conflict actually feels like
• Practical steps to pause, name your needs and respond rather than react
You are not broken for reacting strongly. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling that. Often, if it feels hysterical, it is historical.
The goal is not to erase your wounds. The goal is to make sure they are not driving your adult intimacy.
Resources:
If you want more support, download the Conflict Guide and start noticing your patterns with compassion and clarity.
https://marievakakis.com.au/why-couples-keep-arguing-and-what-its-really-aboutand-what-its-really-about/
ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/
Connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/
Submit a question to the Podcast
https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

If you keep having the same argument with your partner, it might not be about the topic at all. Often, it is not about the dishes, the plans for the weekend, or who forgot to call back. How you fight, well, that could be based on your attachment style. In this episode, I’ll explore how anxious and avoidant attachment styles show up during conflict and why they can create painful cycles that feel impossible to escape.I’ll share what I see as a couples therapist and what you can do about it.
Conflict with a partner activates something deep in our nervous system. Suddenly, we are not calm, rational adults. We are reacting to old attachment wounds. One person escalates, the other withdraws, and before long, the original issue is forgotten while the emotional storm takes over.
In this episode I’ll explain how these patterns form, why they make sense from an attachment perspective, and most importantly, how couples can begin to break the cycle.
In this episode you will learn:
• Why couples repeat the same arguments over and over
• How anxious and avoidant attachment styles trigger each other
• What happens in the nervous system during relationship conflict
• Why silence can feel dangerous for one partner and safe for the other
• The difference between taking a break and stonewalling
• How to communicate needs clearly during heated moments
• Practical scripts to help repair after conflict
• Why repair is more important than getting it right
Resources mentioned:
Working with conflict course: https://marievakakis.com.au/working-with-conflict-in-couples-therapy/
Download guide: https://marievakakis.com.au/why-couples-keep-arguing-and-what-its-really-aboutand-what-its-really-about/
Couples therapy sessions at The Therapy Hub

If this episode resonates, share it with your partner or a friend and start the conversation.
ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/
Connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Submit a question to the Podcast
https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6