The psychology of rejection and what to do about it
Rejection stings, whether it’s a friend pulling away, not getting the job, being ghosted, or a partner feeling distant. Our brains don’t like ambiguity, so they fill in the blanks with painful stories about not being good enough, smart enough, or lovable.In this encore episode, I explore:Why rejection hurts so much and how it’s linked to survival wiringThe ways we often respond, withdrawing, lashing out, or people pleasingHow our brains make up unhelpful stories when we don’t have answersPractical tools from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)The role of mindfulness, values, and diffusion in managing rejectionWhy self-compassion and support are essential in moving forwardPart one focuses on understanding rejection and building strategies to cope. In part two, I’ll explore rejection in parenting, especially as teens start to need more independence.Resources:The Future of Friendships: Are We Getting Lonelier?Connected Teens :https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie :https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcast:https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
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20:49
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20:49
Help. My teens aren't interested in me. What do I do?
It can feel heartbreaking when your teenager pulls away, shows little interest in your life, or seems dismissive of family connections. This is a common experience for many parents, and while it can feel personal, it’s often just part of healthy adolescent development.In this episode, I talk through what’s happening for teens at this stage, and what parents can do to stay connected without pushing their kids further away.You’ll hear about:Why teenagers turn toward peers and away from parentsHow to avoid taking their changes personallyMoving from “manager” to “consultant” in your parenting roleWhy empathy is key (even when you disagree)The problem with angry pursuit and guilt-driven connectionHow to invite closeness without criticismPractical ideas for spending meaningful time togetherWhy listening and curiosity matter more than fixingThis episode is all about finding ways to feel connected, even when your teen seems uninterested in you.Resources:Submit a question for a future episode: https://forms.gle/6GJsNv9MeppUvw5j8 Connected Teens Program: https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Grab my free ebook https://marievakakis.com.au/my-teen-wont-talk-to-me/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
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25:13
Healing the Unmet Needs of Our Younger Selves
Have you ever had a reaction that felt bigger than the situation? Maybe your partner forgot something small, and suddenly you felt worthless. These moments often have roots in our past.In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with Tamera Broughton to talk about how our unmet childhood needs show up in adult life, relationships, and emotional reactions. We explore how trauma is more than big, obvious events, it can also be the quiet absence of attunement, delight, or safety when we need it most.Together, we unpack how to recognise when old wounds are being triggered, what healing can look like through therapies like EMDR, and why making the “invisible visible” is key to moving forward.Key Takeaways:Trauma isn’t just what happened to you, it’s also what was missing.Disproportionate reactions often signal old pain, not just present triggers.Unmet emotional needs can create shaky “scaffolding” that affects self-worth and relationships.Healing involves strengthening internal resources as well as processing past pain.EMDR therapy can help shift old beliefs (“I’m not enough”) into healthier, adaptive ones.Noticing patterns and reactions is the first step toward change.If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend or loved one who’s curious about the impact of childhood experiences on adult life.Resources:Tamera’s website: https://centreself.com.au/clinicians-item/tamera-broughton-n/ What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry & Oprah WinfreyThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkWhat My Bones Know by Stephanie FooConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
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32:29
The Future of Friendships: Are We Getting Lonelier?
Friendships are some of the most important relationships we have, but they’re also one of the easiest to neglect. In this episode of This Complex Life, I’m joined by Steph Clarke, futurist, facilitator, and author of How to Friend, to explore whether we’re really facing a loneliness epidemic, how friendships evolve as we age, and why maintaining meaningful connections takes intention.We talk about: • Why friendships can feel harder to maintain in adulthood • How technology shapes connection and disconnection • Overcoming fear of rejection and ‘cringe culture’ • The importance of making time for low-stakes hangouts • Why conflict and repair are part of healthy friendships • Simple ways to nurture friendships in everyday lifeSteph works with leaders to anticipate change and challenge the status quo, and she brings that lens to personal connection, offering practical advice for building meaningful friendships in a fast-paced, digital world.Listen now and start small; a simple message or quick call could mean more than you think.Resources: • How to Friend by Steph Clarke • 28 Thursdays • Join the This Complex Life NewsletterConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
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41:27
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41:27
Affairs, Trust, and the Work of Healing After Betrayal
Affairs can devastate a relationship, leaving couples questioning everything they thought they knew about each other. In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with couples therapist Andrea Dindinger to talk about healing after betrayal, the slow process of rebuilding trust, and the courage it takes to move forward. We unpack why affairs happen, what betrayal does to relationships, and how couples can recover together or separately with intention and care.What you'll learn in this episode:Why betrayal can feel so destabilising and isolatingHow couples can start rebuilding trust after an affairSigns a relationship can heal versus when it’s time to walk awayThe importance of self-reflection and understanding attachment needsHow therapists support couples in high-conflict or post-betrayal recoveryWhy healing isn’t about quick fixes but consistent emotional workHealing after betrayal takes time, courage, and a lot of honest conversations. Whether you’re the one who’s been hurt or the one seeking forgiveness, there’s a path forward if both partners are willing to do the work. Tune in for this compassionate and practical discussion, and share it with someone who may need hope and guidance. Connect with Andrea Dindinger:Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist & Relationship Coach Andrea Dindinger is a San Francisco-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years’ experience helping people create meaningful, fulfilling intimate relationships. https://www.andreadindinger.com/ https://enroll.andreadindinger.com/relationship-reboot-courseResources:The Therapy HubAndrea Dindinger’s websiteBook: After the Affair by Janis A. SpringEsther Perels: The State of Affairs and Mating in CaptivityEmily Nagoski's Come as You Are and Come TogetherConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
Got questions about parenting, teenagers, or relationships? Ever wonder why your teen won’t talk to you, or why your relationship feels like hard work lately? Hi, I’m Marie Vakakis—a therapist, mental health educator, and someone who’s been behind the scenes with countless families and couples navigating the ups and downs of real life.
This Complex Life is your go-to for relatable insights, practical advice, and real talk about parenting, raising teenagers, and navigating relationships. I’ll share what I’ve learned from years of sitting in the therapist’s chair—helping parents understand their teens, supporting couples through tough times, and figuring out what actually works when life feels overwhelming.
Whether it’s understanding your teen’s moods, handling family drama, or reconnecting in your relationship, I’m here to give you practical advice, relatable insights and a little humour to keep it real. Parenting and relationships aren’t easy, but they don’t have to feel impossible.
Subscribe to This Complex Life for honest advice and actionable tips to make life’s messiness more manageable.
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