This Complex Life

Sharing good news with your partner should feel connecting. Yet for many people, moments of success can quickly turn into hurt or tension when the response feels flat, awkward, or dismissive.
In this episode, I respond to a listener question about getting a promotion and feeling unsupported by their partner. I unpack three common reasons this happens and what is often going on underneath the surface.
This is not about someone being uncaring or selfish. It is about different emotional languages, family histories, and unspoken fears colliding in the same moment.
What this episode explores
Why celebrations matter differently to different people
How family culture shapes responses to success
Why promotions can trigger shame, fear, or disconnection
How money and identity influence reactions
What to say when a moment goes wrong and how to slow the conversation down

When good news turns into conflict, it is rarely about the achievement itself. It is about meaning, expectations, and what has not yet been said.
ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/
Connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/
Submit a question to the Podcast
https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
Mentioned in this episode:
Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Why won’t my partner communicate with me
It’s one of the most common questions I hear in the therapy room and it’s usually coming from someone who feels shut out, unheard or like they’re carrying the emotional load on their own.
In this episode of This Complex Life, I’ll share what’s often really going on when communication feels blocked, when you keep fighting or arguing. Because most of the time, it’s not about a lack of words. It’s about emotional safety, overwhelm and patterns that quietly shut conversations down.
I talk about emotional flooding, the communication patterns that make things worse instead of better, and how the way conversations start can set them up to fail before they even begin. I also explore how what we learned about conflict growing up still shapes how we show up in our relationships today.
You’ll also hear practical questions you can ask that invite reflection instead of defensiveness, and small shifts that can help you feel more connected without escalating into another fight.
In this episode, we explore
Why communication problems are rarely just about talking
Emotional flooding and shutdown and why it feels impossible to stay present
The Gottman Four Horsemen and how they show up in everyday conversations
How criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling block connection
Why timing and tone matter more than being right
How family of origin shapes your comfort with conflict
Questions that help you understand each other instead of escalating

If you’ve ever thought we just don’t communicate anymore, this episode is for you.
ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/
Connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/
Submit a question to the Podcast
https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
Mentioned in this episode:
Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Do you want to feel closer to your partner, but feel unsure how to bring it up?
Many couples care deeply about each other and still drift apart. Life gets busy. Conversations become practical. Emotional connection fades quietly. Not because people stop trying, but because the harder conversations get avoided.
In this episode, I talk about why relationships drift even when there is love and good intention. I explore why low conflict is often mistaken for connection, and why avoiding check ins can slowly create distance.
I also share three simple questions I use with couples that help change the tone of conversations. These questions focus on understanding rather than blame and can be used straight away.
If you are feeling disconnected and do not know where to start, this episode offers a calm and practical place to begin.
In this episode
Why couples drift without realising it
Why love alone is not enough to stay connected
How avoidance shows up in well intentioned relationships
Three questions that help couples check in and reconnect

ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/
Connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/
Submit a question to the Podcast
https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
Mentioned in this episode:
Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Have you ever found yourself thinking my partner is not the same person I fell in love with.
Maybe you still care deeply but something feels off.
Conversations go in circles.
You keep fighting about the same things
Or you feel lonely even though you are still together.
This is a pattern I see often in my work as a couples therapist. Most couples want the same things. Connection. Safety. Feeling valued. Where they get stuck is in how they try to get there.
In this episode of This Complex Life, I walk you through five common patterns that show up when couples feel disconnected over time.
This is not about fixing your partner. It is about understanding what is actually happening underneath the surface when two people who care start missing each other.
Feeling disconnected does not automatically mean you have outgrown each other or chosen the wrong person. Often it means the relationship has not been updated to match how life and people have changed.
In this episode, I share the 5 common mistakes I see people make.
• Why relationships can feel harder as life gets fuller
• How unmet expectations quietly create distance
• What happens when both people are trying but still missing each other
• Why assuming they should just know leads to resentment
• How criticism and contempt creep in without you noticing
If you are feeling stuck, confused, or wondering what happened to the closeness you once had, you are not alone in this. Some of this is uncomfortable and that is okay.
Understanding the pattern is often the first step towards repair.
Tired of going round in circles with your partner?
Relationship Refresh is a practical couples program that helps you stop the blame game, communicate better and feel like a team again.
👉 marievakakis.com.au/for-couples
If things feel more stuck and you need deeper support, you can book an Intensive Couples Therapy session with me through The Therapy Hub
👉 thetherapyhub.com.au
Struggling to talk about sex, desire or intimacy without it getting weird or shutting down?
Download my free guide How to talk about sex, desire and connection: https://mailchi.mp/marievakakis/a-guide-to-talking-about-sex-and-intimacy
Connected Teens
https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/
Connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/
Submit a question to the Podcast
https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
Mentioned in this episode:
Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Anxiety can feel confusing and overwhelming, especially when your brain reacts faster than you can make sense of it. In this episode, I talk with Dr Jodi Richardson about the difference between everyday stress, overwhelming worry and anxiety that needs more support.
We explore why anxiety shows up in the body, why discomfort often feels unsafe and how childhood patterns can affect the way we manage emotions as adults. Jodi shares practical, compassionate ways to understand your anxiety and feel more grounded when your mind starts spiralling.
In this episode we cover:
• The difference between stress, overwhelm and anxiety
• Why anxiety activates the stress response
• How childhood emotional patterns shape anxiety
• Why discomfort often feels dangerous
• What helps when anxiety feels big
• How to support someone with anxiety without fixing
• When to seek professional help
Your brain is not broken. It is responding to something that feels uncertain or overwhelming, and you can support it in ways that actually work.
Connect with Dr Jodi Richardson:
https://drjodirichardson.com.au/
Resources:
📕Daily Stoic
Well Hello Anxiety Podcast
Connected Teens
https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/
Connect with Marie
https://thetherapyhub.com.au/
https://marievakakis.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Submit a question to the Podcast
https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6
Mentioned in this episode:
Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/