This Complex Life

Why won’t my partner communicate with meIt’s one of the most common questions I hear in the therapy room and it’s usually coming from someone who feels shut out, unheard or like they’re carrying the emotional load on their own.In this episode of This Complex Life, I’ll share what’s often really going on when communication feels blocked, when you keep fighting or arguing. Because most of the time, it’s not about a lack of words. It’s about emotional safety, overwhelm and patterns that quietly shut conversations down.I talk about emotional flooding, the communication patterns that make things worse instead of better, and how the way conversations start can set them up to fail before they even begin. I also explore how what we learned about conflict growing up still shapes how we show up in our relationships today.You’ll also hear practical questions you can ask that invite reflection instead of defensiveness, and small shifts that can help you feel more connected without escalating into another fight.In this episode, we exploreWhy communication problems are rarely just about talkingEmotional flooding and shutdown and why it feels impossible to stay presentThe Gottman Four Horsemen and how they show up in everyday conversationsHow criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling block connectionWhy timing and tone matter more than being rightHow family of origin shapes your comfort with conflictQuestions that help you understand each other instead of escalatingIf you’ve ever thought we just don’t communicate anymore, this episode is for you.ENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/Connect with Mariehttps://thetherapyhub.com.au/https://marievakakis.com.au/https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Do you want to feel closer to your partner, but feel unsure how to bring it up?Many couples care deeply about each other and still drift apart. Life gets busy. Conversations become practical. Emotional connection fades quietly. Not because people stop trying, but because the harder conversations get avoided.In this episode, I talk about why relationships drift even when there is love and good intention. I explore why low conflict is often mistaken for connection, and why avoiding check ins can slowly create distance.I also share three simple questions I use with couples that help change the tone of conversations. These questions focus on understanding rather than blame and can be used straight away.If you are feeling disconnected and do not know where to start, this episode offers a calm and practical place to begin.In this episodeWhy couples drift without realising itWhy love alone is not enough to stay connectedHow avoidance shows up in well intentioned relationshipsThree questions that help couples check in and reconnectENROL NOW Relationship New Year RESET 2026https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/Connect with Mariehttps://thetherapyhub.com.au/https://marievakakis.com.au/https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Have you ever found yourself thinking my partner is not the same person I fell in love with.Maybe you still care deeply but something feels off.Conversations go in circles.You keep fighting about the same thingsOr you feel lonely even though you are still together.This is a pattern I see often in my work as a couples therapist. Most couples want the same things. Connection. Safety. Feeling valued. Where they get stuck is in how they try to get there.In this episode of This Complex Life, I walk you through five common patterns that show up when couples feel disconnected over time. This is not about fixing your partner. It is about understanding what is actually happening underneath the surface when two people who care start missing each other.Feeling disconnected does not automatically mean you have outgrown each other or chosen the wrong person. Often it means the relationship has not been updated to match how life and people have changed.In this episode, I share the 5 common mistakes I see people make. • Why relationships can feel harder as life gets fuller• How unmet expectations quietly create distance• What happens when both people are trying but still missing each other• Why assuming they should just know leads to resentment• How criticism and contempt creep in without you noticingIf you are feeling stuck, confused, or wondering what happened to the closeness you once had, you are not alone in this. Some of this is uncomfortable and that is okay. Understanding the pattern is often the first step towards repair.Tired of going round in circles with your partner?Relationship Refresh is a practical couples program that helps you stop the blame game, communicate better and feel like a team again.👉 marievakakis.com.au/for-couplesIf things feel more stuck and you need deeper support, you can book an Intensive Couples Therapy session with me through The Therapy Hub👉 thetherapyhub.com.auStruggling to talk about sex, desire or intimacy without it getting weird or shutting down?Download my free guide How to talk about sex, desire and connection: https://mailchi.mp/marievakakis/a-guide-to-talking-about-sex-and-intimacyConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Anxiety can feel confusing and overwhelming, especially when your brain reacts faster than you can make sense of it. In this episode, I talk with Dr Jodi Richardson about the difference between everyday stress, overwhelming worry and anxiety that needs more support.We explore why anxiety shows up in the body, why discomfort often feels unsafe and how childhood patterns can affect the way we manage emotions as adults. Jodi shares practical, compassionate ways to understand your anxiety and feel more grounded when your mind starts spiralling.In this episode we cover:• The difference between stress, overwhelm and anxiety• Why anxiety activates the stress response• How childhood emotional patterns shape anxiety• Why discomfort often feels dangerous• What helps when anxiety feels big• How to support someone with anxiety without fixing• When to seek professional helpYour brain is not broken. It is responding to something that feels uncertain or overwhelming, and you can support it in ways that actually work.Connect with Dr Jodi Richardson:https://drjodirichardson.com.au/ Resources:📕Daily StoicWell Hello Anxiety PodcastConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6 Mentioned in this episode:Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/

Breakups can be hard on all of us, they can shake our sense of self in ways we don't expect. For men, the emotional impact is not something that's often spoken about. They’re taught to suck it up and get on with it. In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with Michael Wilson, a Research Fellow focused on men’s mental health and suicide prevention to talk about why men often struggle silently during breakups and how society’s ideas about masculinity shape the way they cope.We explore how shame, identity loss and isolation can build after a relationship ends, and why many men do not seek help until they reach a crisis point. There is another way to move through it. Understanding, connection and emotional honesty can help men rebuild their sense of self with more clarity and confidence.In this conversation, we talk about • Why breakups can shake men’s identity • How conditioning around masculinity affects emotional expression • The role shame plays in silence • What men wish they could say but feel they cannot • How to support men without jumping into solutions • Ways to rebuild confidence after a relationship endsIf you are working through a breakup or navigating a season of change, you do not have to do it alone.Connect with Michael Wilson: Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-wilson-4b2090164/ Michael Wilson is a Research Fellow focused on men’s mental health and suicide prevention, based with Orygen at the University of Melbourne.Since 2018, Michael has published and presented research both nationally and internationally across a range of subjects, including healthy masculinities and mental health in young men, improving training for mental health practitioners around engaging and responding to help-seeking men, and understanding risk and protective factors associated with suicidal thoughts and behaviours in men.His research currently focuses on men's mental health and suicide risk in the context of intimate partner relationship breakdown.Resources: Main paper: https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2026-40673-001.html Other research: https://scholar.google.com.au/citations?hl=en&user=avSkawsAAAAJ&view_op=list_works&authuser=1&sortby=pubdate Mental Health Academy course on understanding men's suicide risk post breakup: https://www.mentalhealthacademy.com.au/catalogue/courses/breaking-up-breaking-down-understanding-and-addressing-mens-suicide-risk-in-the-context-of-intimate-relationship-breakdownConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcast