ADHD Mums

• 18. QUICK RESET:  Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead

  If the words ‘let me know if you need anything’ make you panic instead of feel supported — this one’s for you. This Quick Reset is a nervous system-level sigh of relief for the mums who feel safest surviving in silence. If you’ve ever shut down instead of speaking up, snapped when someone finally offered to help, or felt like asking for support meant erasing your worth — this episode will hit home. Hard. We unpack the trauma behind “I’ve got it,” the invisible legacy of pathological self-reliance, and how masking your needs became part of your personality. But it’s not who you are — it’s what you learned. It’s time to stop waiting until burnout to be visible. This episode offers small scripts, mindset shifts, and reframes that make asking for help feel less like failure — and more like a form of love. ✨ IN THIS RESET: Why asking for help feels like failure (especially for high-functioning women) How ‘good girl conditioning’ trained you to suppress needs Why no one notices you're struggling — and why that’s not your fault The trauma loop of independence, silence, and resentment Scripts to ask for support without shame When your meltdown isn’t about dinner — it’s about years of invisible labour Rewiring your worth away from being useful Real-life strategies to pre-negotiate support (before the spiral) Giving yourself the grace to stop performing strength 💭 This episode is for you if:– You say “I’m fine” when you’re not — and no one calls your bluff– You wait for a breakdown to finally say “I need help”– You want to rest before you collapse, but don't know how to start 🔬 References Dr. Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (2011) – particularly chapters on caregiving and gendered expectations. Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2018). The Mindful Self‐Compassion Workbook. Guilford Press. 📚 RELATED RESOURCES: Free ADHD Medication Advocacy Guide Other Quick Reset Episodes: S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple S3E17 QUICK RESET: How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds. Spotify | Apple 🧠 TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: asking for help, ADHD mums, good girl conditioning, emotional labour, burnout, pathological self-reliance, support scripts, parenting shutdown, masking, trauma-informed parenting, help refusal, co-regulation, overfunctioning, performance parenting, ADHD and motherhood, emotional suppression, boundaries, unmet needs, meltdown cycle, maternal overload, neuroaffirming support.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 17. QUICK RESET: How We Survive the 3–6PM Sh*t Show When Kids Are Coming Down Off Meds

  If your afternoons feel like a slow-motion train wreck — tears, yelling, slammed doors, and you hiding in the pantry with a chocolate bar — this episode is for you. This Quick Reset speaks directly to the ADHD mums stuck in the brutal 3–6PM rebound window (or 3–9PM if your house is really on fire). When the stimulant meds wear off, the chaos ramps up — and suddenly the smallest request can launch a meltdown. Whether your child is screaming in the backseat or your teenager is giving you the silent treatment, this episode validates the unspoken truth: it’s not you, it’s the neurochemical whiplash. Jane breaks down the reality of post-school dysregulation, explains why your child falls apart as soon as they get home, and shares real-life survival tools (not Pinterest-perfect routines) that actually help. ✨ IN THIS RESET, WE COVER: What’s really happening when ADHD meds wear off (spoiler: it’s not “bad behaviour”) Why the smallest requests trigger epic meltdowns The connection between sensory build-up, emotional suppression, and after-school explosions Why your child’s brain crashes when yours does too The invisible rebound window: how to recognise it and adapt School masking and why ‘safe’ doesn’t always look calm The only two things that changed Jane’s afternoons (music + snacks, no eye contact) Low-demand parenting that actually protects connection Why the “put your lunchbox on the bench” battle isn’t worth it — and what to do instead 💭 This episode is for you if:– You dread the school pickup more than the morning rush– You spiral into shame after yelling — again– You feel like the only mum hiding in her laundry at 5PM questioning everything 🎧 Listen now on your favourite platform and hit follow so you never miss a Reset. 🔗 Resources & Links: Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop SCHOOL MINI SERIES: S1 E41: Camouflaging ADHD + Autistic Traits in Girls with Millie Carr | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E2: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E3: SCHOOL SERIES - Burnout Starts in the Classroom — And Follows Them Home | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E5: SCHOOL SERIES: Your Child Isn’t ‘Acting Out’ — They’re Burning Out | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E7: SCHOOL SERIES: The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say We Don’t See It | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E9: SCHOOL SERIES -IEP Meetings Are Broken — Here’s What to Say Instead | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E11: SCHOOL SERIES: Reducing Stress Behaviours in the Classroom: Connection, Co-Regulation & Neuro-Aware Teaching | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E13: SCHOOL SERIES: When They Just Don’t Get It: Navigating School with Neurotypical Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast 🧠 TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:ADHD rebound, parenting rage, stimulant medication, after school meltdowns, low-demand parenting, sensory overload, emotional dysregulation, school masking, post-med crash, parenting with ADHD, after school routine, co-regulation, ADHD parenting tips, medication wear-off, shutdown, parenting burnout, survival strategies, neurodivergent kids, rethinking routines, school trauma, ADHD mums.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 16. QUICK RESET: No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed

  If you’ve spent hours calling pharmacies, chasing down scripts, or fighting tears in front of your child’s school — this episode is for you. This week’s Quick Reset is a brutally honest look at the ADHD medication shortage and what it’s actually costing families. It’s not just about pills. It’s about access, function, and survival. If you’ve been told to 'just hang in there' while rationing doses, burning out, and trying to stay regulated — this episode will meet you where you are. We unpack why the shortage isn’t just a supply chain hiccup — but a structural failure — and what you can do right now. You’ll hear the real-life chaos behind one bottle of meds, the truth about demand vs infrastructure, and the emotional cost of parenting without the support you fought hard to access. 🧠 What We Cover in This Episode: What’s actually causing the ADHD medication shortage in Australia Why this isn’t about 'overprescribing' — it’s about systemic neglect The real impact on parents who are rationing, relapsing, and burning out How executive function vanishes when meds disappear What the TGA, the PBS, and DEA limits have to do with your child’s treatment Bridging scripts, access barriers, and what GPs still don’t know Why this crisis is about disability rights, not convenience The stories that politicians need to hear — and how to send them 💥 This episode is for you if:– You’re sharing meds between siblings or skipping doses to make it through the week– You’ve been left with no support, no alternatives, and zero help — yet somehow still expected to function– You want to advocate without being told to 'calm down' 🎧 Listen now and take the first step toward action — even if all you can do today is hit play. 📚 Related Resources: – Free ADHD Medication Advocacy Resource– TGA Medication Shortage Portal– 📥 Download MP forms, free resources & more on this subject here 🧠 TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:ADHD medication shortage, ADHD mums, stimulant access, unmedicated parenting, executive dysfunction, advocacy, system failure, rationing medication, Concerta shortage, Ritalin supply, neurodivergent burnout, mental health crisis, parenting unsupported, TGA, PBS medication, real-life ADHD, medication access, writing to MPs, disability rights, school chaos, neuroaffirming advocacy, ADHD parenting.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 15. QUICK RESET: He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park

  If your partner’s dreaming of overseas holidays while you’re barely surviving the playground — this episode is for you. This Quick Reset is a brutally honest look at what 'holiday' means when you’re the default parent, the nervous system regulator, and the one who never actually gets to rest. If your body flinches at the word “vacation” because it remembers meltdowns, sleepless nights, and judgmental relatives — you’re not alone. Jane unpacks the invisible trauma of parenting while travelling, why holidays can feel like executive function overload, and how memory, shame, and nervous system trauma shape our future planning. You’ll laugh, cry, and probably cancel the family road trip — but you’ll feel deeply seen. IN THIS EPISODE: The five-step emotional cycle of ‘family holidays’ Why past chaos makes your brain reject future hope The mental load of pretending you're relaxed Photo albums that trigger survival memories What to say when your partner doesn’t get it How to redefine rest when even leaving the house feels hard Naming nervous system trauma without shame Why opting out isn’t negative — it’s protective This episode is for you if:– You feel guilt for dreading holidays you’re “meant” to enjoy– You’ve walked into school term more tired than you left– You want to create memories, but not at the cost of your sanity Resources & Links: Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop SCHOOL MINI SERIES: S1 E41: Camouflaging ADHD + Autistic Traits in Girls with Millie Carr | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E2: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E3: SCHOOL SERIES - Burnout Starts in the Classroom — And Follows Them Home | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E5: SCHOOL SERIES: Your Child Isn’t ‘Acting Out’ — They’re Burning Out | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E7: SCHOOL SERIES: The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say We Don’t See It | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E9: SCHOOL SERIES -IEP Meetings Are Broken — Here’s What to Say Instead | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E11: SCHOOL SERIES: Reducing Stress Behaviours in the Classroom: Connection, Co-Regulation & Neuro-Aware Teaching | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E13: SCHOOL SERIES: When They Just Don’t Get It: Navigating School with Neurotypical Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:holiday trauma, ADHD mums, parenting burnout, sensory overload, neurodivergent parenting, executive dysfunction, invisible load, travel shame, mental load, overstimulation, family expectations, gentle parenting realities, meltdown management, trauma-informed parenting, ADHD mum life, redefining rest, survival mode, vacation anxiety, co-regulation, parenting triggers.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 14. QUICK RESET: I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality

  This one is for the mums who cancel plans and then spiral into shame — not because you don’t care about your friends, but because you’re tired of becoming someone else just to belong. This Quick Reset goes straight into the emotional cost of masking, people-pleasing, and being ‘palatable’ in social spaces when you’re already running on empty. If you've ever ghosted a dinner invite because the idea of smiling through small talk made you feel sick — you're not rude. You're exhausted. And there’s a reason your nervous system taps out. We unpack the invisible work of shaping your personality around others, the aftermath of overthinking every interaction, and what it means to parent, mask, and still try to hold onto yourself. 🧠 What We Cover in This Episode: Are you antisocial — or socially exhausted? What ‘masking’ actually costs neurodivergent women Why even a quick coffee can feel like a performance review Patchwork identity and shape-shifting through a room The difference between safe friends vs. performance friends How playdates, school pickups, and small talk drain your nervous system Real life examples of emotional hangovers after 'being social' Reset strategies for identifying low-cost, low-mask relationships Why you don’t have to host, chat, or explain — and how to drop the guilt 💭 This episode is for you if:– You dread text replies or cancel plans last minute and don’t know why– You feel like friendship has become another task to survive– You’re tired of auto-correcting your personality to be liked– You want to create space for friendships that feel safe — not scripted 📚 Mentioned Resource:– A Guide to Navigating School Pick-Ups for ADHD Mums — includes scripts, social energy planning, neurodiverse/NT dynamics, and boundaries 🔗 Resources & Links: 📚 Reference:Price, D. (2022). Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity. Harmony Books.• Join the Facebook community: ADHD Mums FB Group• More resources & tools: www.adhdmums.com.au/shop 🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing. SCHOOL MINI SERIES: S1 E41: Camouflaging ADHD + Autistic Traits in Girls with Millie Carr | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E2: SCHOOL SERIES When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E3: SCHOOL SERIES - Burnout Starts in the Classroom — And Follows Them Home | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E5: SCHOOL SERIES: Your Child Isn’t ‘Acting Out’ — They’re Burning Out | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E7: SCHOOL SERIES: The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say We Don’t See It | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E9: SCHOOL SERIES -IEP Meetings Are Broken — Here’s What to Say Instead | Spotify | Apple Podcast S3 E11: SCHOOL SERIES: Reducing Stress Behaviours in the Classroom: Connection, Co-Regulation & Neuro-Aware Teaching | Spotify | Apple Podcast JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. 🧠 TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:mirrored trauma, masking, social burnout, ADHD mums, neurodivergent exhaustion, friendship anxiety, sensory overwhelm, rejection sensitivity, people-pleasing, patchwork identity, fawning, parenting while masking, real self vs performed self, social hangovers, playdate dread, drop-off anxiety, safe vs performance friendships, emotional load, ADHD parenting, mum guilt, playground scripts.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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