ADHD Mums

This podcast episode is not a replacement for individual medical advice and is general education only.
You go to the mother's group, you don't put the brake on the pram, and it rolls across the carpark.
Baby is fine. You are not.
You're already the mum who decided — quietly, without asking anyone — that you wouldn't take your ADHD meds while breastfeeding. Because that's what good mothers do.
This is the episode about what happens when 'just push through' stops being a plan.
What we cover
Why your prescriber freezes the second you say the word 'pregnant' and what to actually say back
What the research actually says about traditional stimulants in pregnancy, and the gap between that and the kickback you've been getting
Why pregnancy and breastfeeding aren't the same conversation, even though everyone keeps lumping them together
The Infant Risk Center, the resource your psychiatrist probably hasn't looked at that pharmacists rely on
Trying to conceive, IVF, egg collection, and where ADHD meds actually sit in that timeline
The quiet self-sacrifice that tells you a thinking, regulated mother is somehow worse for the baby than an unmedicated, exhausted one
PMS, perimenopause, antidepressants in the mix, and why ADHD is rarely just one medication, one decision, one answer
Medication breaks, weekend breaks, and why being told to take them on the busiest days of your week isn't advice, it's a generic script
Iron, thyroid, glucose, constipation, and the unsexy stuff your wellness actually hinges on while you're carrying everyone else's

Why this episode matters
There is a whole layer of women who stopped their meds the day they saw two lines on a test, never asked the question out loud, and have been white-knuckling it ever since. Not because the evidence said to. Because nobody safe was available to talk to. Rodney has spent thirty years being that person on the other end of the phone, and most mums have never been told he exists.
This episode is for you if
You stopped your meds the second you found out you were pregnant and never asked anyone if you had to
You've been told 'we don't know enough' so many times you've started saying it to yourself
You're breastfeeding and Googling at 2am because no one in the room will give you a straight answer
You feel guilty for wanting to be medicated, focused, and present, like that's the selfish version
You're trying to conceive and quietly terrified that staying on your meds makes you a bad mother before you've even started
You're the one who'd rather suffer than risk it, and you've been suffering for a while now

Related product
ADHD Medication Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/a-guide-to-adhd-medication/
External links mentioned
Infant Risk Center — www.infantrisk.com
Jean Hailes — https://www.jeanhailes.org.au/
Better Health Channel — https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au

📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

You've spent more time on drop-offs, pickups and meetings this week than your kid has spent actually learning.
You keep telling yourself the routine is good for them. They come home flat anyway.
You can see it isn't working. You just can't picture what else looks like.
So you stay on the fence. Another term. Another meeting. Another 11pm google.
What we cover
Why most homeschoolers in Australia didn't plan to homeschool — and what 'accidental homeschooling' actually means
The two competing fears keeping you stuck — and which one usually wins in the end
What 'enough is enough' really looks like (it's rarely one big moment — it's bankruptcy logic: slow, then very fast)
What a homeschool day actually looks like when you're not running school-at-home
The legal stuff schools won't tell you — you don't need their permission
Why $50k a year still doesn't fix this, and what you might actually be paying for
How to take a term off without making a forever decision
Why bullying gets reframed as 'resilience-building' at school but is illegal at work

Why this episode matters
The fence is the hardest place to live. Most parents sit there longer than the kid can afford. Rebecca has spoken to hundreds of families about why they finally jumped — and the answer isn't 'they were ready.' It's that the fear of staying finally outweighed the fear of leaving. This episode names the decision underneath the decision, and hands you a permission slip you probably didn't know existed.
This episode is for you if
You've tried two schools, maybe three, and nothing's stuck
The meetings have started to outnumber the actual learning
You keep saying 'maybe next term' and next term keeps not coming
You're more scared of Uncle Ned's questions at Christmas than you'd like to admit
Part of you knows it isn't working, and part of you can't picture what else looks like
You've already googled 'homeschooling Queensland' at 11pm and closed the tab

For more about Dr. Rebecca English
https://www.qut.edu.au/about/our-people/academic-profiles/r.english
Jane's Related Episodes
S1 EP63 — The Episode That Led Jane to Choose Homeschooling (Nicki Farrell, Wildlings) 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/63-episode-that-led-jane-to-choose-homeschooling/
S2 EP7 — Raising Strong Children: How to Support Without Always Solving Their Problems (Emma Rose Parsons, Spectrum House) 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-raising-strong-children-how-to-support-without-always-solving-their-problems/
S2 EP33 — Autistic Burnout: Self-Awareness Part 2 (Jane solo) 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-33-preventing-autistic-burnout-practical-tips-for-neurodivergent-mums-and-their-children/
S3 EP20 — SCHOOL SERIES: How to Choose a School That Won't Break Your Kid (or You) — Millie Carr https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-20-how-to-choose-a-school-that-wont-break-your-kid-or-you/
📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
Choosing the Right School
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/
The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:
When School Looks Fine But Isn’t Understanding Burnout, Masking & School Can’t
Making School Work: A Parent’s Guide to Neurodivergent Kids and the System
School Advocacy Hub of Resources
https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

If your child looks ‘fine’ at school… but falls apart the second they get home —
this episode is for you.
🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
What masking really looks like in a classroom setting
Why ‘they’re fine at school’ can be deeply misleading
The invisible work happening before the school day even starts
Why internalising kids are often missed entirely
What it costs to ‘look like you’re coping’ all day
Why asking a child to self-advocate isn’t always realistic
How anxiety builds when expectations aren’t predictable
The difference between behaviour you can see… and effort you can’t
Why some kids nod, smile… and completely miss instructions
What actually reduces stress in the classroom (and what doesn’t)

💭 This episode is for you if:
Your child holds it together at school but unravels at home
You’ve been told ‘we’re not seeing that here’
Your child doesn’t speak up when they’re struggling
You can see the effort they’re putting in — even if others can’t
you’re trying to explain your child to the school and not being heard
You feel stuck between what you see… and what they report

📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:
When School Looks Fine But Isn’t Understanding Burnout, Masking & School Can’t
Making School Work: A Parent’s Guide to Neurodivergent Kids and the System
School Advocacy Hub of Resources
https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

If you’ve ever sat in a school meeting
hearing what’s ‘expected’…
and thought
‘this feels like too much… too early’ —
this episode is for you.
Because sometimes it’s not subtle.
It’s that quiet moment where something doesn’t sit right…
but you’re told it’s normal.
In this episode, we unpack what’s really happening when school expectations keep creeping up — academically, behaviourally, socially — and why so many kids are being asked to meet standards that don’t actually match where they are.
💭 This episode is for you if:
– You’ve thought ‘this feels too much for their age’
– Your child is struggling, but you know they’re capable
– You’ve been told ‘this is just how school is now’
– Your child is falling behind quickly and can’t catch up
– You’re noticing stress, resistance, or shutdown around school
– You’re questioning whether the system is actually the issue
🎧 Related Episodes
When School Becomes the Trauma – School Series
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/s2-ep2-school-series-when-school-becomes-the-trauma-what-no-one-tells-adhd-parents/
Here’s the part most people don’t say out loud:
If it feels too big…
too fast…
too much…
that doesn’t automatically mean
your child is the problem.
Sometimes it means
the expectations have moved
and no one stopped
to check
who they were leaving behind.
For more about Dr. Rebecca English
https://www.qut.edu.au/about/our-people/academic-profiles/r.english
📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
The School Choice Kit
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/
The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:
Making School Work – Parent Guide ($20)
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/
School Advocacy Hub of Resources
https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

If you’ve ever said
‘can we just talk about something?’
and it escalates
before you’ve even said the thing —
this episode is for you.
Because it’s not the conversation
that’s blowing up.
It’s what happens
in the seconds before it even starts.
In this episode, we unpack that exact moment — the one where you’re trying to keep it calm, keep it small, keep it ‘not a big deal’…
and somehow it still turns into tension, shutdown, or a full spiral.
The urgency you feel to resolve it.
The resistance you feel coming back.
And how quickly that turns into
‘why do I make things like this?’
🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
Why ‘can we talk?’ can trigger a reaction before anything is said
What’s actually happening when one person moves in and the other pulls away
The demand-withdraw pattern (and why it escalates so fast)
Why urgency to resolve something doesn’t land as ‘small’ to the other person
How unfinished conversations sit in your body all day
Why it feels impossible to just ‘leave it’
What happens when both people are trying to regulate — in opposite ways
How effort builds with zero progress (and why that feels so heavy)
Why this quickly turns into ‘I’m too much’ or ‘I make things hard’
The difference between a communication problem… and a timing collision

💭 This episode is for you if:
You feel a strong need to resolve things straight away
You struggle to leave conversations unfinished
You’ve been told ‘not right now’ and felt it land hard
You replay conversations that never even really happened
You feel responsible for fixing the tension in relationships
You’ve thought ‘why do I make things escalate?’

🎁 Free Resource
ADHD Self-Test
https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/
If you’ve ever wondered
‘why does this feel so intense for me?’
this is a helpful place to start.
🎧 Related Episodes
Why You Keep Waking at 3am — And It’s Not Just Anxiety
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-26-why-you-keep-waking-at-3am-and-its-not-just-anxiety/
Why You’re Bad at Asking for Help and What to Do Instead
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-18-quick-reset-why-youre-bad-at-asking-for-help-and-what-to-do-inste
Why Self-Care Feels Like Another Task
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-22-quick-reset-why-self-care-feels-like-another-fcking-task/