ADHD Mums

You’re not bad at relaxing.And you’re not doing rest wrong.If you’ve ever noticed yourself cleaning, tidying, or “finding something to do” in the very moments you’re supposed to be enjoying — this episode explains why.In this short but powerful conversation, Jane unpacks why so many mums feel restless, guilty, or half-revved when things finally go quiet, and why that response isn’t anxiety or a personal flaw. It’s learned usefulness — shaped by gendered conditioning and reinforced over time.This episode is about the mum who steps out of the circle of joy to make sure the moment runs smoothly for everyone else… and then wonders why she can’t settle when nothing is required of her.In This Episode, We Cover:Why doing can feel safer than enjoyingHow usefulness becomes tied to belongingWhat’s actually happening when rest feels uncomfortableWhy this pattern runs through generations of womenHow ADHD nervous systems stay alert when roles disappearWhy restlessness is role-consistent, not a failureHow to begin unlearning usefulness = worth (gently, slowly)This Episode Is For You If:You feel uneasy when things finally go quietYou clean or stay busy instead of enjoying momentsRest makes you feel guilty, restless, or exposedYou’ve been told you’re “bad at relaxing”You want to understand why your body stays alert — without blaming yourself🔗 Explore More From This Episode🎧 Related Podcast EpisodeADHD meds won’t fix everything — now what?https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-23-adhd-meds-wont-fix-everything-now-what/🎧 Quick Resets (Short, Bingeable Support)Quick Reset: Mum hack meal planning for when you’re already burnt outhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-43-quick-reset-mum-hack-meal-planning-for-when-youre-already-burnt-out/Quick Reset: Self-care feels nice. Self-regulation keeps you alive.

You didn’t fail your New Year’s resolutions.You survived a year that was heavier than the plans you made for it.I asked the ADHD Mums community how their New Year’s goals actually went last year — and the answers weren’t lazy, careless, or undisciplined. They were honest. Tender. Exhausted.This episode is a collective exhale for every mum who promised she’d get organised, rest more, yell less, move her body… and then found herself just trying to keep everyone alive.💬 What this episode really saysADHD mums don’t fail goals because they don’t care enough.They struggle because they’re already at capacity when they set them.🧠 In this episode, we unpack:Why New Year’s resolutions collapse for ADHD mums — especially in JanuaryHow burnout and survival mode sabotage motivation and follow-throughThe difference between ‘lack of discipline’ and lack of marginWhy long-term planning doesn’t work when your nervous system is cookedA kinder, ADHD-friendly alternative to goal-setting🎧 Listen & linksListen: https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/the-resolutions-none-of-us-actually-didResource: Energy Accounting Guide → https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/🔗 Related episodesThe Year I’ve Decided Good Enough Is Enoughhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/good-enough-is-enough-year/Why Most Planners Fail ADHD Mums (And How to Finally Make One Work)https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-52-why-most-planners-fail-adhd-mums-and-how-to-finally-make-one-work/QUICK RESET: The ADHD Myth of ‘Just Try Harder’https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/

If you feel like you’re failing at parenting because you’re constantly exhausted, flat, or shutting down — this episode is for you.This isn’t about trying harder or fixing yourself. It’s about understanding why ADHD and neurodivergent mums don’t just get tired — we get depleted.In This Episode, We Cover:Why exhaustion can feel like numbness instead of emotionWhat dopamine debt looks like in real lifeHow emotional labour quietly drains ADHD mumsWhy rest alone doesn’t fix burnoutHow to stop treating depletion like a personal failureFree Resources Listed:🎁 Get the Energy Accounting Guide: Download hereRelated EpisodesChristmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There👉 Click here to listenWhy am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?👉 Click here to listenQUICK RESET: Why Self-Care Feels Like Another F*ing Task👉 Click here to listenListener Question BoxHave a moment, question, or December story you can’t quite put into words?👉 Send a listener question or story here:Submit your question anonymously

What if the calm you felt last Christmas wasn’t a fluke — but a clue?In this episode, Jane responds to a listener who accidentally lost her Christmas list… and felt calmer than she ever had in December. Not because she stopped caring — but because the mental load finally dropped.This conversation explains why ADHD mums hit capacity faster at Christmas, why letting go feels terrifying, and why you’re allowed to be done even when the list never ends.What you’ll hear in this episodeWhy losing the list created instant calmThe difference between dropping tasks and dropping loadWhat allostatic load is — and why ADHD mums carry more of itWhy your body knows you’re done before your brain agreesHow to stop before you shatter, not afterFree Resources Listed:🎁 Get the Energy Accounting Guide: Download hereRelated EpisodesChristmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There👉 Click here to listenWhy am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?👉 Click here to listenQUICK RESET: Why Self-Care Feels Like Another F*ing Task👉 Click here to listenListener Question BoxHave a moment, question, or December story you can’t quite put into words?👉 Send a listener question or story here:Submit your question anonymously

I thought I was being polite.I thought I was keeping my options open.But somewhere between exhaustion, people-pleasing, and old survival habits, I abandoned myself — again.In this episode, I share the exact moment it clicked: my 'soft no’s' weren’t boundaries at all. They were apologies wearing polite outfits. And when everything finally caught up with me, my nervous system had already run out of fuel.This is a deeply human conversation about people-pleasing, the fawn response, ADHD overwhelm, and why saying no can feel genuinely unsafe — even when you desperately need to.Key TakeawaysWhy 'maybe' is not a neutral response when you’re exhaustedHow people-pleasing is a nervous-system survival strategy, not a personality flawWhat the fawn response actually looks like in ADHD mumsWhy overwhelm makes boundaries collapseThe hidden cost of keeping the peace🔗 Related Episodes & Recommended ListeningIf this episode landed for you, these conversations explore the same patterns of people-pleasing, masking, self-sacrifice, and nervous-system survival:Stop People-Pleasing: The ADHD Mum’s Guide to Boundaries, Balance, and Breaking Free👉 Listen hereYou Were the Good Girl. That’s Why You’re Falling Apart Now.👉 Listen hereHigh Camouflaging ADHD and ASD👉 Listen hereSelf-Sacrifice Is Not Your Friend (And Here’s Why)👉 Listen hereQUICK RESET: I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality👉 Listen here🤍 FB Group:If you want a space where you don’t have to explain yourself:👉 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group