ADHD Mums

Somewhere in almost every ADHD conversation, someone eventually says it.
'There weren't kids like this when I was at school.'
Or the slightly more polite version:
'Why are there suddenly so many ADHD kids now?'
And if you're a parent of a neurodivergent child, you've probably heard this one too:
'Maybe it's just screens.'
This episode pulls that myth apart.
Because the truth is far more complex — and far more interesting.
ADHD didn't suddenly appear in the last 20 years.
What has changed is how classrooms work, what children are expected to do inside them, and how visible neurodivergence becomes when the environment shifts.
In this episode, we unpack one of the biggest myths about ADHD and neurodivergence:
Are there actually more neurodivergent children now?
Or are we finally recognising what was always there?
WHAT WE COVER
– The myth that 'there were no ADHD kids in the past'
– Why increased diagnosis does not mean ADHD is suddenly more common
– How modern classrooms have changed dramatically over the last 30 years
– Why language demands in early schooling are much higher than they used to be
– What happens when school expectations exceed a child's nervous system capacity
– The difference between developmental opportunity and underlying neurodevelopmental differences
– Why early learning environments play a crucial role in supporting neurodivergent kids
– The societal changes affecting children's development, play and independence
– How pandemic stress and modern family pressure has reshaped childhood environments
– Why blaming screens oversimplifies a much bigger developmental conversation
WHAT THE RESEARCH ACTUALLY SAYS
One of the most cited global studies on ADHD prevalence analysed 175 international studies and found that ADHD rates have remained relatively stable over time.
What has changed is recognition and diagnosis, not the existence of neurodivergent children.
Global prevalence research:
https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/135/4/e994/33967/Prevalence-of-Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity
This systematic review, published in Pediatrics, remains one of the most widely referenced papers estimating ADHD prevalence worldwide.
WHAT WE ARE SEEING IN AUSTRALIA
In Australia, population-level data also tells an important story.
The Australian Early Development Census tracks developmental vulnerability across the country and consistently shows that many children are entering school with developmental differences in communication, emotional regulation and social skills.
AEDC National Report:
https://www.aedc.gov.au/resources/detail/2021-aedc-national-report
Importantly, developmental vulnerability does not mean something is 'wrong' with a child.
It tells us that children's environments, expectations and support systems all interact with how development unfolds.
And when school expectations increase, differences often become more visible.
THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF
– You have heard someone say 'there weren't kids like this when we were growing up'
– You're navigating an ADHD diagnosis and feeling overwhelmed by misinformation
– You're trying to explain neurodivergence to family members who don't understand
– Your child struggles in modern classrooms but thrives in other environments
– You've wondered whether society has changed more than children have
– You want research-backed information about ADHD prevalence
MORE ABOUT SALLY GALLOWAY & KAT MARRINGTON
Kat Marrington (Speech Pathologist) at www.Talkiplay.com
Sally Galloway (Occupational Therapist) at www.sallygalloway.com.au
FREE ADHD RESOURCES
If you're exploring ADHD for yourself or your child, these free tools can help.
ADHD Self-Test
A quick screening tool to help adults identify whether ADHD traits might be worth exploring further.
https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/
Free ADHD Resources
Guides, articles and practical support for ADHD families.
https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/

School systems are built to notice disruption.
The child throwing chairs.
The child refusing to sit down.
The child who can't stay quiet.
But there is another group of kids.
The ones who sit still.
The ones who follow instructions.
The ones teachers describe as 'lovely', 'polite', or 'no trouble at all'.
And those are often the kids quietly falling apart.
Because when a child internalises stress instead of showing it outwardly, the education system often doesn't see the struggle at all.
In this episode we unpack what happens to internalising kids inside classrooms — why their needs are frequently missed, and what parents can actually do when the system isn't built to notice them.
We also talk honestly about advocacy, complaints, and the uncomfortable reality that change inside the education system rarely happens unless parents create pressure.
If your child looks fine at school but collapses at home, this conversation will likely feel very familiar.
WHAT WE COVER
– Why internalising kids are often invisible inside classroom systems
– The difference between externalising behaviour and internalised stress
– Why schools often rely on children to 'ask for help' even when that is neurologically difficult
– Practical adjustments teachers can make that reduce invisible pressure for internalising students
– How parents can translate what works at home into classroom supports
– Why documenting school failures matters for long-term systemic change
– How complaint processes to regional education offices actually work
– Why data from parents is one of the only ways the education system changes
– The difficult decision many families face when schools push children out
– Why expulsion data matters for education policy reform
THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…
– Your child looks like they are coping at school but falls apart at home
– School says 'they seem fine here' but you know the effort it takes for your child to get through the day
– You have an internalising child who doesn't speak up about their needs
– You're navigating school refusal or burnout
– You've considered making a complaint about your child's school but don't know where to start
– You're trying to advocate for your child inside a system that feels impossible to change
Find out more about Bronnie Hammond Vale here
https://www.honeycombadvocacy.com/
📬 Check out my Free Resource Mentioned in THIS EPISODE
The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
School Advocacy Hub of Resources
https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
Episodes Mentioned in This Episode
Camouflaging ADHD & Autistic Traits in Girls (with Millie Carr)
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/replay-s1-episode-41-camouflaging-adhd-autistic-traits-in-girls-with-millie-carr-re-release/
Neurodiverse Classrooms (with Millie Carr)
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-33-neurodiverse-classrooms-with-millie-carr/
When School Becomes the Trauma – School Series
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/s2-ep2-school-series-when-school-becomes-the-trauma-what-no-one-tells-adhd-parents/
The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say “We Don’t See It” – School Series
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-school-series-the-great-gaslighting-when-schools-say-we-dont-see-it/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

You're told your child is doing great at school.
'Wish I had more like her'
'No issues here.'
But every afternoon at 3pm something else happens.
The car door shuts.
And the child who 'had a great day' collapses.
The meltdown doesn't start at school.
It starts when the mask comes off.
For many Mums, this creates a strange kind of confusion.
School says everything is fine.
But home tells a completely different story.
In this episode we unpack the cost of being the 'good' student — the child who holds it together in the classroom while quietly burning through their nervous system capacity all day.
Because when struggle isn't loud, it often gets missed.
And the kids who look like they are coping the best are sometimes the ones paying the highest price.
WHAT WE COVER
– Why the child who 'behaves well' can still be in serious distress
– The difference between internalising and externalising stress in classrooms
– How masking hides the real effort many neurodivergent kids are using just to get through the day
– Why teachers often don't see the struggle happening under the surface
– The after-school collapse and what it actually tells you about capacity
– Why asking a child to 'just speak up' about their needs doesn't work for many autistic and ADHD kids
– How small classroom adjustments can dramatically reduce invisible stress
– Why trust between teacher and student matters more than most people realise
– The structural limits inside school systems that leave internalising kids unsupported
THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…
– Your child is described as a 'model student' but falls apart the moment they get home
– School says everything is fine but your child is exhausted, anxious or melting down daily
– Your child masks heavily in public but collapses in safe spaces
– You've been told your child just needs to 'ask for help' at school
– You feel like your child's struggles aren't visible enough to be taken seriously
– You're trying to support a child who carries everything internally
Find out more about Bronnie Hammond Vale here
https://www.honeycombadvocacy.com/
📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
The School Choice Kit
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/
Quiet Exclusion Kit
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/quiet-exclusion-kit/
📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:
Making School Work – Parent Guide
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

You’ve sent the emails.
You’ve attended the meetings.
You’ve tried to be calm, collaborative, reasonable.
And nothing changes.
Then suddenly something serious happens — a suspension, an incident, a formal complaint — and overnight the school moves quickly.
So what just happened?
This episode unpacks the moment many ADHD mums eventually hit: the point where being reasonable stops working — and why that happens inside the school system.
Because for many families, the problem isn’t communication.
It’s understanding what schools actually respond to, what they quietly ignore, and how the system itself shapes those responses.
WHAT WE COVER
Why being calm, collaborative and ‘reasonable’ often doesn’t move schools
What schools actually respond to — and what gets quietly ignored
Why emotional emails and long explanations often backfire
The reality behind ‘reasonable adjustments’ under Australian education law
Why some adjustments are refused even when they appear simple
The funding model most parents have never heard of: NCCD
Why teachers may genuinely say they can’t do something — even when it seems obvious
The difference between fairness and inclusion in schools
When escalating a complaint becomes necessary (and how to do it properly)
Why documentation, meeting notes and evidence matter far more than emotion

THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…
You feel like you’ve been polite, patient and collaborative… and nothing has changed
Your child’s school says they ‘can’t’ implement adjustments that seem reasonable
You’ve asked for incident reports or documentation and never received them
Meetings feel confusing or adversarial
You’re not sure when to keep negotiating and when to escalate
You’re trying to advocate for your child without becoming ‘that parent’

ABOUT TODAY’S GUEST
Sara Hocking
Educational disability advocate supporting families navigating school discrimination, failed adjustments and escalation processes.
Sarah works directly with families across Australia dealing with school-based disability support issues and understands both the legal framework and the practical realities of how schools respond.
LEGISLATION REFERENCED
Disability Discrimination Act 1992 (Cth)
Disability Standards for Education 2005 (Cth)
These laws outline the obligation for Australian schools to provide reasonable adjustments for students with disability, provided those adjustments do not create an unjustifiable hardship for the school.
FUNDING MODEL MENTIONED
Nationally Consistent Collection of Data on School Students with Disability (NCCD)
The NCCD is the Australian Government framework used to determine funding and support levels for students with disability in schools.
Many parents assume funding follows their child directly to the school.
In reality, the system is far more complex — and often much less transparent.
FIND SARA HERE
Sara Hocking – Educational Disability Advocate
www.seebeyondau.org
RELATED ADHD MUMS EPISODES
🎧 When School Decides Your Child Is the Problem
https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-school-decides-your-child-is-the-problem/
🎧 Raising Strong Children: How to Support Without Always Solving Their Problems
https://adhdmums.com.au/raising-strong-children/
FREE PARENT RESOURCES
📘 The School Choice Kit
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/
SHARE YOUR SCHOOL EXPERIENCE
If you’ve experienced school pushback, refused adjustments, or confusing processes around disability support, you can share your experience here:
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
Your experiences help shape future episodes and resources for other ADHD mums navigating the same systems.

There is a particular kind of confusion that happens when your child likes their teacher.
If you’ve ever thought, ‘But she’s so lovely… why isn’t this working?’ I explore this massive question wth Bronnie Hammond-Vale.
This episode is for you.
WHY THIS MATTERS
Sometimes the problem is the gap between teacher intention and system capacity.
A teacher can care deeply.
A teacher can try hard.
A teacher can be doing their best in a room full of kids who all need something different.
And still… your child keeps escalating, shutting down, falling apart, or being labelled as ‘behavioural’.
Not because your kid is the problem.
And not because the teacher doesn’t care.
But because the system is rigid, under-resourced, and built for compliance — not regulation, flexibility, or neurodivergent reality.
WHAT WE COVER
The ‘she’s lovely… but it’s still not working’ gap (teacher intention vs system capacity)
Why teachers end up buying sensory tools and resources with their own money
What school funding often gets spent on instead (and why it’s not always what kids need)
Why neurodivergent supports should be universal, not ‘special’ (the wobble chair example)
How rigid systems create the ‘bad behaviour’ narrative when teachers don’t have tools
Why fear-based discipline ‘worked’ back then (and why it’s not motivation — it’s trauma)
The missing piece: what teachers can do (scripts, toolkits, repair) when punishment is off the table
Why a child walking out can be a skill, not ‘truancy’ — and what a supportive response looks like

THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…
Your child likes their teacher but school is still going downhill
You’re stuck between ‘they’re trying’ and ‘this is not working’
You’re watching schools spend money on optics while teachers fund basics
You’ve been told your child is ‘naughty’ when you know it’s dysregulation
You’re exhausted from advocating and still feel like nothing changes
You want practical, real-world strategies that work in a classroom of 30 — not theory

Find out more about Bronnie Hammond Vale here
https://www.honeycombadvocacy.com/
RELATED ADHD MUMS EPISODES
🎙️ When Teachers Care — But the System Still Breaks Kids
🎧 1️⃣ When School Decides Your Child Is the Problem
https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-school-decides-your-child-is-the-problem/
🎧 2️⃣ SCHOOL SERIES – When School Becomes the Trauma
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/s2-ep2-school-series-when-school-becomes-the-trauma-what-no-one-tells-adhd-parents/
🎧 3️⃣ IEP Meetings Are Broken — Here’s What to Say Instead
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-9-when-the-iep-meeting-feels-like-a-battle-you-didnt-ask-for/
🎧 4️⃣ Being Judged for Choosing Understanding Over Punishment
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/being-judged-adhd-discipline-myth
📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
Bullying Response Kit
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/bullying-response-kit-adhd-mums/
The School Choice Kit
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/
ADHD School Prep Kit
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-school-prep-kit/
Quiet Exclusion Kit
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/quiet-exclusion-kit/
Explaining ADHD to Kids – Parents Guide
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/explaining-adhd-to-kids-parents-guide/
📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:
Making School Work – Parent Guide ($20)
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast