Dear Divorce Diary - With Daz & Jop

In this brutally honest and often darkly humorous episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Practising Family Lawyer) dive into one of the biggest modern dangers in separation and divorce proceedings — social media.
From angry Facebook rants and passive-aggressive memes to dating app disasters, GoFundMe controversies and children being exposed to online conflict, this episode explores how social media behaviour can seriously damage:
Parenting cases
Family law proceedings
Personal credibility
Mental health
Children’s wellbeing
Daz & Jop explain why courts are increasingly examining online behaviour under a microscope — and why one impulsive post can become devastating evidence in the courtroom.
The episode delivers practical insight, cautionary tales and hard truths about how people sabotage themselves online during separation.

“People Act Like Absolute Fools On Social Media”

The Impact On Children
A major focus of the discussion is the devastating effect social media conflict has on children.
The episode explores:
Children reading posts about their parents
School bullying linked to family court disputes
Friends and classmates discovering online conflict
Emotional embarrassment and shame
Long-term damage to parent-child relationships
Daz shares examples of children being ridiculed at school after parents publicly posted inflammatory content online.

The hosts repeatedly reinforce:
The Family Court prioritises the best interests of children — and social media warfare rarely reflects that.

Social Media As Court Evidence
Daz & Jop explain how family lawyers, barristers and Independent Children’s Lawyers routinely conduct “deep dives” into parties’ social media accounts.
The episode highlights how courts may examine:
Facebook posts
TikTok videos
Instagram stories
Comments sections
Dating profiles
GoFundMe campaigns
Text message labels and contact names
Jop explains that social media can reveal:
Personality traits
Emotional instability
Aggression
Parenting attitudes
Denigration of the other parent
Poor judgment

Key Takeaways From This Episode
Social media posts regularly become evidence in family court proceedings.
Children are often deeply impacted by parents’ online conflict.
Passive-aggressive memes and public attacks can seriously damage credibility.
Dating profiles and fundraising pages may create legal complications.
Courts increasingly examine digital behaviour closely.
Online conduct may influence parenting decisions and intervention order proceedings.
Emotional “purging” online rarely helps legal outcomes.
If you wouldn’t want a judge reading it aloud in court — don’t post it.

About The Hosts
Darren Mort
Family law barrister focused on parenting disputes, family violence and trauma-informed advocacy.
Joplin Higgins
Family lawyer, Director of Joplin Lawyers and advocate for trauma-informed family law practice.

Listener Advice
If you are currently navigating separation or family law proceedings:
Avoid posting emotionally reactive content online
Never involve children in online disputes
Assume all posts may eventually be read in court
Seek legal advice before engaging publicly about proceedings
Prioritise your children’s emotional wellbeing above online validation

Join The Conversation
Have a question or topic suggestion for Dear Divorce Diary?
Connect with Darren and Joplin via:
TikTok
Instagram
LinkedIn
YouTube
Podcast platforms
DM your questions, experiences or future topic ideas for upcoming episodes.

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If you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.
Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).

Real law. Real families. Real conversations.
Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

⚠️ Trigger Warning
This episode contains detailed discussion surrounding:
Domestic and family violence
Strangulation and choking
Trauma and coercive control
Psychological abuse
Court processes involving victim-survivors
Listener discretion is strongly advised.

Episode Overview
In one of the most confronting and emotionally powerful episodes of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Practising Family Lawyer) tackle the deeply serious topic of strangulation within intimate relationships — and why it is considered one of the strongest indicators of future lethality in domestic violence situations.

Drawing on their extensive experience within the family law and court systems, Daz and Jop unpack:
How coercive and controlling behaviour escalates into physical violence
Why strangulation is treated as an extreme risk factor
The devastating psychological and physiological impacts on victim-survivors
How criminal and family law systems intersect in these matters
The evidentiary challenges victims face
Why trauma-informed legal support is critical
The long-term impact family violence has on children
The urgent need for education, prevention and cultural change
This episode is both educational and deeply human — offering insight into the realities faced by victim-survivors navigating separation, parenting and the legal system after severe domestic violence.

Key Discussion Points:
The Hidden Medical Consequences
Daz and Jop discuss how many victim-survivors never seek immediate medical treatment following strangulation incidents — often due to fear, trauma or shock.
They highlight serious medical consequences including:
Acquired brain injuries
Memory loss and amnesia
Oxygen deprivation
Esophagus and airway injuries
Long-term neurological damage
Severe psychological trauma and PTSD
Jop strongly encourages victim-survivors to seek urgent medical attention and documentation after any strangulation incident.

Why Victims Often Don’t Report Immediately
One of the most important parts of the episode examines why victim-survivors may delay reporting violence to police, doctors or the courts.
The conversation explores:
Fear of retaliation
Trauma responses
Emotional paralysis
Concern for children
Financial dependency
Psychological conditioning through coercive control
Daz explains how defence teams in court often scrutinise “contemporaneous reporting” — meaning whether incidents were immediately reported — despite the complex trauma responses victims experience.

About The Hosts
Darren Mort
Family law barrister, advocate and commentator focused on family violence, parenting matters and trauma-informed legal practice.
Joplin Higgins
Family lawyer, author and Director of Joplin Lawyers, recognised for her work in family violence advocacy and victim-survivor support.

Join The Conversation
If this episode resonates with you, or you have questions about family law, coercive control, parenting, domestic violence or separation:
Connect via Instagram
Reach out on TikTok
Message through LinkedIn
Share your topic suggestions for future episodes

Listener Support
If this episode has raised concerns for you or someone you know, support is available through Australian domestic violence and crisis services.
You are encouraged to seek assistance from:
Call Triple Zero - Police in emergencies
Domestic violence support services
Trauma-informed counsellors
Medical professionals
Legal practitioners experienced in family violence matters

Follow & Subscribe
If you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.
Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).

Real law. Real families. Real conversations.
Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this thought-provoking episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Practising Family Lawyer) tackle one of the most emotionally charged issues in family law: extra-marital affairs and their impact on separation and divorce.

Although Australia operates under a no-fault divorce system, Daz and Jop explore why affairs can still play a significant role in the breakdown of relationships, family dynamics, parenting arrangements, and even allegations of coercive and controlling behaviour.

The discussion moves beyond the traditional concept of infidelity and examines how affairs can become intertwined with:
Emotional abuse
Psychological harm
Family violence dynamics
Coercive control
Family contributions and relationship breakdown

Key Takeaways
This episode highlights the reality that while Australia has a no-fault divorce system, the emotional and behavioural consequences of affairs can still have profound effects on:
Families
Parenting relationships
Mental health
Court proceedings
Allegations of coercive or emotionally abusive conduct
Important themes explored include:
Respect and honesty during relationship breakdown
The emotional impact of betrayal
The evolving role of coercive control in family law
How modern technology is changing relationships
The importance of understanding the broader context surrounding infidelity

For more conversations about separation, parenting, relationships and navigating the family law system, follow Dear Divorce Diary on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook and TikTok.
New episodes explore complex family law topics with practical insights and real-world discussion designed to help listeners better understand the divorce process.

Follow & Subscribe
If you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.
Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).

Real law. Real families. Real conversations.
Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coercive and controlling behaviour is one of the most complex and widely discussed issues in family law today.

In this episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law professionals Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins explore how this behaviour appears in relationships, how it is interpreted in the court system, and why it can be difficult to prove.
Through an unscripted role-play scenario, Darren and Joplin demonstrate how two people in the same relationship can experience the same situation very differently.
The discussion highlights how patterns of behaviour—rather than isolated incidents—are often the key to understanding coercive control within marriages and during divorce proceedings.

What Is Coercive and Controlling Behaviour?
The episode begins by unpacking the meaning of coercive control, a form of family violence that may not involve physical harm but can include psychological, financial, or emotional manipulation.
Darren and Joplin explain that many people struggle to identify coercive control because:
It often occurs gradually over time
It may involve subtle forms of manipulation
Victims may feel constantly on edge or fearful without clear incidents of physical violence
This makes the issue both legally and emotionally complex.

Financial Control vs Household Budgeting
A key discussion point is the difference between legitimate financial management and financial abuse.
Joplin explains that setting a household budget is normal in many relationships. However, financial behaviour may become controlling when it includes:
Restricting access to money
Requiring detailed justification for everyday spending
Monitoring purchases in a way that undermines autonomy
Controlling access to government payments or income
These patterns can lead to a situation where one partner loses financial independence.

Patterns of Behaviour in Family Law
Both Darren and Joplin emphasise that coercive control is rarely defined by a single incident.
Instead, courts typically look for:
Repeated behaviours over time
A pattern that demonstrates power or dominance
Conduct that creates fear, dependence, or restriction for the other partner
Understanding this pattern is essential for lawyers when preparing cases and presenting evidence.

Challenges in Proving Coercive Control
One of the biggest challenges in family law is proving coercive behaviour in court.
Unlike physical violence, coercive control often leaves little physical evidence. Instead, it may rely on:
Personal accounts of behaviour
Recorded communications
Financial records
Witness testimony
Patterns of conduct over time
Because of this, lawyers must spend significant time building a detailed background history of the relationship.

This episode provides valuable insight into one of the most debated and evolving areas of family law.
Important takeaways include:
Coercive control often involves patterns of behaviour rather than single incidents
Financial management can become problematic when it restricts autonomy or independence
Evidence of coercive behaviour requires detailed documentation and legal preparation
Context and relationship dynamics are critical when assessing allegations
As Darren and Joplin highlight, coercive control is a complex legal and social issue, and understanding it requires careful examination of both personal experiences and legal standards.

Follow & Subscribe
If you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.
Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).

Real law. Real families. Real conversations.
Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Money can become one of the most confusing and confronting aspects of separation and divorce.
In this episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) unpack the importance of financial literacy when navigating property settlements.

They explore why many people (particularly women) enter divorce proceedings with little understanding of their financial position, and why gaining clarity around assets, debts, and superannuation is critical before negotiating a settlement.
From balance sheets and disclosure obligations to mediation preparation and superannuation splits, this episode provides practical insights into how financial transparency shapes fair outcomes in family law matters.

What Is Financial Literacy in Divorce?
Darren and Joplin begin by explaining the concept of financial literacy and why it becomes a critical issue during separation.
Many people move through relationships with one partner managing most of the finances, which can leave the other partner unaware of:
Bank accounts
Debts
Investments
Superannuation
Loans or liabilities
When separation occurs, this lack of awareness can create significant stress and uncertainty.

The Balance Sheet: Understanding the Asset Pool
One of the first steps in a property settlement is creating a balance sheet that lists the entire financial position of the relationship.
This typically includes:
Real estate and property
Bank accounts
Credit cards and loans
Superannuation
Share portfolios
Vehicles, boats or other major assets
Joplin explains that many clients are surprised by what appears on the balance sheet, particularly when they discover debts or accounts they didn’t know existed.

When Financial Information Is Hidden
Darren and Joplin discuss situations where one partner restricts access to financial documents or accounts.
Examples may include:
Locked financial records
Unexplained bank transfers
Unknown credit cards or debts
Limited access to financial information during the relationship
While this behaviour does not always amount to financial abuse, it can sometimes indicate controlling or obstructive behaviour that may become relevant in legal proceedings.

Understanding Superannuation in Divorce
Superannuation is often one of the largest assets in a marriage, yet many people know little about how it works in property settlements.
Darren and Joplin discuss:
Obtaining accurate superannuation balances
Using court forms to request updated super information
The difference between standard funds and defined benefit schemes
Defined benefit funds—often found in sectors such as police, defence, or emergency services—can require special valuation methods.

The Role of Consent Orders
If an agreement is reached, it can be formalised through Consent Orders, which are submitted to the court for approval.
The court must determine whether the agreement is “just and equitable” before making it legally binding.
This ensures that property settlements reflect a fair division of assets and liabilities.

This episode highlights the critical importance of understanding your finances during a relationship and particularly during separation.
Important lessons include:
Know your financial position
Maintain access to financial records
Understand your assets and liabilities
Seek legal advice before negotiating settlements
Ensure agreements are properly documented and approved by the court
Financial literacy can significantly impact the fairness, efficiency, and outcome of divorce proceedings.

Follow & Subscribe
If you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.
Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).

Real law. Real families. Real conversations.
Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.