Pillow Talks

• EPISODE 201: Couples Coaching Session: They Love Each Other… So Why Does Their Sex Life Feel Stuck?

  🎙️ Welcome to our very first coaching episode! Ever feel stuck in your sex life — like you know things could be better but have no idea how to fix them? That’s exactly where today’s couple is. In this special, brand-new format, we’re coaching a real life couple, and diving deep into mismatched desire, stress, and the invisible walls keeping them from a more connected, fulfilling sex life. We break down: 💬 When one partner feels standoffish about sex – What’s really behind the hesitation? ⚖️ Balancing work, kids & intimacy – Why stress kills desire (and what to do about it). 🔄 Breaking out of a relationship rut – Feeling stuck? Here’s how to start making real changes. 🔥 What happens when the woman has the higher sex drive – And how to navigate it without resentment. ✨ How to actually change your sex life – Small, doable steps that make a big difference. If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner keep missing each other when it comes to intimacy — this episode is for you. And stick around until the end because we have a special announcement you won’t want to miss! Links & Resources 💖 Join Deeper – our new relationship membership! Want more expert-backed support for your love life? Get access to our entire library of courses and guides, exclusive monthly live events with us, and Vanessa AI — your personal, on-demand relationship coach. 👉 vmtherapy.com/deeper 🔑 Take The Intimacy Quiz: Your Key To Love That Lasts Not sure where to start? Take our quiz to find out exactly what your relationship needs most right now. 👉 vmtherapy.com/5keys Stay Connected 📩 Join our email list – Be the first to know about exclusive offers, new products, and exciting updates:https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe. 📲 Follow us on Instagram – @vanessaandxander for behind-the-scenes fun, Q&As, and more tips on love and intimacy. 🎧 Subscribe & review – New episodes drop every Thursday! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review—it helps us keep creating content you love. ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Goodwipes. Goodwipes will elevate your everyday hygiene with premium wipes that deliver a superior clean that no dry toilet paper can match. 👏Thanks Remi. Give your teeth a break without breaking the bank with Remiand save up to 50%. ➡︎ https://shopremi.com/PILLOW) 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks 👏Thank you goPure. For a limited time, get 25% off. ➡︎ https://www.gopurebeauty.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• EPISODE 200: 200 Episodes Later: Let’s Get Personal! (Ask Us Anything)

  🎉 We made it to 200 episodes! 🎉 It’s wild to think about how far this podcast has come. There’s one thing we know for sure… we couldn’t have come this far without YOU. That’s why for this very special episode, we decided to celebrate by letting you ask us… …absolutely ANYTHING. And you didn’t disappoint. From personal confessions to relationship deep dives to behind-the-scenes business secrets, no topic was off-limits. Tune in for an unfiltered, hilarious, and heartfelt conversation where we tackle: 💬 Personal Qs – Would Vanessa ever let Xander shave his beard? ❤️ Relationship Qs – Are we still in couples therapy? 💼 Business Qs – Have we ever recorded a podcast while totally annoyed with each other? And SO much more! Stick around to the end because we’re teasing something big we’ve been working on behind the scenes… you’re going to want to be on our email list for this one. 👀 Links & Resources: 🔑 Take The Intimacy Quiz: Your Key To Love That Lasts – Find out exactly what your relationship needs most right now and get personalized guidance to start making real changes today! 👉 https://vmtherapy.com/5keys 🏆 March Matchups: The Ultimate Bedroom Bracket – Cast your votes as we put 8 bedroom positions head-to-head, and help us pick the winning position for a brand-new free step-by-step guide! Follow along on Instagram @vanessaandxander and make sure you’re on our email list to get the final results! Stay Connected: 📩 Join our email list – Be the first to know about exclusive offers, new products, and exciting updates: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 📲 Follow us on Instagram – @vanessaandxander for behind-the-scenes fun, Q&As, and more tips on love and intimacy. 🎧 Subscribe & Review – New episodes drop every Thursday! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review — it helps us keep creating content you love. ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏 Thanks ZocDoc. Download the ZocDoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. ➡︎ https://zocdoc.com/pillow 👏 Thanks Cure. Get 20% off your first order. Stay hydrated and feel your best! ➡︎ https://curehydration.com/PILLOW 👏 Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial ➡︎ https://dipseastories.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• EPISODE 199: Am I The Asshole? Masturbation, Snooping, and Jealousy

  We’re back with a fan-favorite series—Am I The Asshole? 🎉 You know we love diving into the wildest relationship dilemmas, and today’s lineup is extra spicy. We’re tackling situations that might hit way too close to home, like: 🚨 Masturbating - do you have to tell your partner every time? 🚨 Journaling about a past relationship—cheating or harmless? 🚨 Going through a partner’s phone (they found what?? 👀) 🚨 A partner picking up an annoying new voice… and refusing to drop it Sounds messy, right? We’re breaking it ALL down, sharing our takes on who’s the asshole, and of course—we want to hear yours too! Get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe rethink your own opinions on these situations! 🎧 Want More AITA? If you love these episodes, don’t miss our past Am I The Asshole? deep dives: 🎧 EP 187, EP 155, EP 135, EP 125 📲 Stay Connected with Us! 💌 Join our email list for exclusive BTS + first access to everything we create 📸 Follow us on Instagram and tell us—who do YOU think is the asshole in these stories? 🎥 Subscribe on YouTube to watch this episode & more 💖 Links & Resources – Take Your Intimacy to the Next Level 💋 Give your partner the best foreplay they’ve ever had! → Ultimate Foreplay Guides Transform your sex life with expert-backed techniques designed to maximize pleasure for both of you. 📖 Want to talk about sex in a way that actually works? → Sex Talks: The NYT Best-Selling Book Discover the 5 key conversations that will unlock deeper connection, better communication, and hotter intimacy in your relationship. Which one are you diving into first? Let us know! 💬 ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏 Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code **PILLOW** ➡︎ https://oneskin.co. 👏 Thanks Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life ➡︎ https://hungryroot.com/pillow 👏 Thanks Blissy. Get better sleep, hair, and skin with Blissy. Get an additional 30% off ➡︎ https://blissy.com/POLLOWPOD. 👏 Thanks Beam. Get up to 40% off for a limited time when you go to ➡︎ https://shopbeam.com/PILLOW. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• EPISODE 198: Stop Doing THIS If You Want More Sex (Initiation Fixes You Need to Know)

  Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating—but let’s be real… for most couples, it’s anything but smooth. Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it comes to getting things started in the bedroom, today’s episode is here to help! We surveyed our audience, and only 17% of people said they’re happy with how initiation is going in their relationship. That means a lot of us are struggling with: 🚨 Feeling like one partner is always initiating while the other never does 🚨 Getting caught off guard and feeling pressured to have sex in the moment 🚨 Waiting until the end of the night, when you're both exhausted 🚨 Using "lazy" or unsexy initiation attempts (boob honks, anyone?) 🚨 Feeling like your partner only flirts when they want something Sound familiar? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re breaking down the most common mistakes couples make when initiating sex. =============================== 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: =============================== ✅ The #1 reason why most couples struggle with initiation ✅ Why timing matters just as much as how you initiate ✅ The major mistake that makes sex feel like a pop quiz—and what to do instead ✅ What to say (and what not to say) when initiating sex ✅ How to make your partner feel wanted instead of pressured And of course, we’re sharing our top tool to completely transform the way you initiate—so you and your partner can experience more connection, better intimacy, and yes… way more satisfying sex! ========================== 🔗 Links & Resources: ========================== 👋 Art of Initiation – Get $20 Off Until March 9 → https://buy.vmtherapy.com/art-of-initiation-special?ref=podcast-198&utm_term=podcast-198 📚 Other Resources Mentioned: ✨ Figure out your initiation style—so you and your partner can find what actually works for you → https://free.vmtherapy.com/initiation-style-guide ✨ Foreplay Guides, Ultimate Sex Guide, & More! → https://vmtherapy.com/courses?ref=podcast-198&utm_term=podcast-198 ========================== 📲 Stay Connected with Us! ========================== 💌 Join our email list for exclusive tips & discounts ➡️ https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 📸 Follow us on Instagram for daily relationship inspo ➡️https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander New episodes drop every Thursday! Make sure you’re subscribed so you never miss an episode. And if this episode made you rethink how you and your partner initiate (or if you saw yourself in some of these mistakes 😅), send it to them and start the conversation! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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  54:58
• EPISODE 197: Ask A Sex Therapist - Resentment, Sexual Frustration, And The Death Grip

  Ever wish you had a sex therapist on speed dial? We get so many questions every week (because you guys are THE BEST) that we just can’t get to them all—so today, we’re dedicating an entire episode to answering your biggest intimacy and relationship dilemmas. From navigating mismatched libidos to handling awkward bedroom moments, we’re here to break it all down with practical, shame-free advice. In This Episode, We Cover: 💬 How to address it when your partner gropes you in their sleep 🧼 Balancing household chores with a partner who wants affection right now 😩 What to do if your partner struggles with death grip 😔 Bouncing back after a disappointing sexual experience 😤 Is “sexual frustration” really a thing? 🔄 How to stop being defensive in your marriage 🚨 NEW FREE Guide! 🚨 Ever struggle with how to start intimacy? We joke a lot about bad initiation styles (hello, awkward boob grabs) but we want to help you find what actually works. That’s why we created a brand-new FREE guide to help you figure out your initiation style—so you and your partner can create a spark your way. ✨ Download it for FREE here: vmtherapy.com/styles 🔗  Links & Resources: ✨ Listen to EPISODE 158: Maybe It’s Not Low Libido… https://vmtherapy.com/episode158 ✨ Reignite your love life in just 7 days? ➡︎ https://buy.vmtherapy.com/best-week-ever-only?ref=podcast-197&utm_term=podcast-197 ✨ Treat Your Partner to the Best F0repl@y they've ever had: https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/?ref=podcast-197&utm_term=podcast-197 ✨ Check out our NYT best selling book Sex Talks: ➡︎ https://sextalksbook.com/?ref=podcast-197&utm_term=podcast-197 ✨ Thanks Cozy Earth. Go to cozyearth.com/pillowtalks and use code PILLOWTALKS for an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ✨ Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. ✨ Thanks Goodwipes. Goodwipes will elevate your everyday hygiene with premium wipes that deliver a superior clean that no dry toilet paper can match. Goodwipes is naturally scented and hypoallergenic. Free from harsh chemicals, parabens, and dyes. Connect with us! 👋 Instagram ➡︎ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Our VIP Email list: ➡︎ https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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