Raising Good Humans

Postpartum depression isn't just for moms. Dr. Darby Saxbe explores why new dads struggle, identifies the often unrecognized signs, and demystifies the science of paternal mental health.

Did you know that "dad brain" is a scientifically proven biological shift? Recent brain science shows that fatherhood literally changes and rewires men's brains--but unlike maternal shifts, a father's brain adapts primarily through the lived experience of hands-on caregiving. In this episode of Raising Good Humans, world-renowned researcher Dr. Darby Saxbe joins host Dr. Aliza Pressman to expose the hidden mental health crisis in new dads that modern culture completely ignores. 

🦋We discuss:


The neuroscience of fatherhood: How caregiving rewires a dad's brain to filter out distractions and focus on the baby.


Postpartum depression in men: What the signs look like and why it so often goes unrecognized.


"Maternal gatekeeping": How well-meaning moms accidentally shut dads out of the process.


The truth about paternity leave and why modern isolation is breaking the "village."


A fascinating look at why parenting is neuroprotective (and linked to a younger-looking brain later in life).

We also tackle a critical question: How much of father absence is actually driven by untreated perinatal mental health problems? Tune into this paradigm-shifting conversation on fatherhood and mental health.

This episode is brought to you by:

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What does it actually mean to be a good parent and why does knowing the research make it harder, not easier?

This week I'm sharing an interview I did with Adam Grant on his show, ReThinking,  where we got into the framework I come back to constantly: all feelings are welcome, but all behaviors are not. We talked about gentle parenting, why asking your child to do something nine times is no better than asking twice, orchid vs. dandelion kids, and what I think the job of a parent actually is.

What you'll hear:


Why "all feelings are welcome, but all behaviors are not" is the organizing principle behind almost every parenting question


What orchid/dandelion research reveals about why some kids are more harmed by permissiveness than others


Why asking more than twice doesn't increase compliance and what to do instead


The one-sentence definition of the parenting job I keep coming back to

This episode is brought to you by:

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What if raising secure kids has less to do with what you do wrong as a parent — and more to do with teaching them to build the right relationships from the start?

My guest this week is Dr. Amir Levine, molecular neuroscientist, child psychiatrist, and associate professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University. His new book, Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life, offers a unified theory of relationships with surprisingly concrete tools for building security at any age.

This episode shares specific, teachable tools for helping kids of all ages — including neurodivergent kids — move through the world with greater security.

What you'll learn:


Why less than 10% of adult attachment style can be explained by parenting and why that's good news if you've been worrying you've already "done something wrong"


What CARP means (Consistent, Available, Responsive, Reliable, Predictable) and why teaching kids to look for CARP friends can shape their relationship patterns for life


Why our brains chase drama and ignore the secure people already around us and how to redirect toward a "secure village"


How small, everyday micro-interactions create structural changes in the brain and why each one is an opportunity

This episode is brought to you buy:

BetterHelp: You don’t have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/humans.

Uresta: Learn more about this amazing breakthrough, trusted by over 50 thousand women at Uresta.com

Tumble: Machine Washable Rugs, Made Better. For a limited time only, our listeners get 10% off + free shipping at Tumbleliving.com/HUMANS

Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at GreatWolf.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the most powerful thing you could do for your child's brain development has nothing to do with them at all?

This episode is for any parent who has worried about screen time, big emotions, or whether they're doing enough — and hasn't realized that the most direct path to a flourishing child runs straight through their own mind. I'm joined by Dr. Richard Davidson, neuroscientist, founder of the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, and author of Born to Flourish.

What you'll learn:


Why neuroplasticity is happening to your brain right now whether you want it to or not 


The four pillars of flourishing (awareness, connection, insight, and purpose) and the research-backed reason five minutes a day is enough to change your brain.


Why flourishing is contagious — and what that means for the hardest kids, the most overwhelmed parents, and everyone in between.

Sponsors:

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What if the reason the hardest conversations with your middle schooler keep going badly isn't the topic — it's that we keep starting them like a lecture?

This episode is for any parent who has braced themselves to "have the talk" about porn, dating, nudes, or consent and watched their kid mentally exit the room before the second sentence. I'm joined by Michele Icard, parenting expert and author of Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School. 

What you'll learn:


Why most thorny conversations go wrong before they start, and the BRIEF model that fixes it.


Why shame is the wrong tool. 


What you might be missing about middle school dating, consent, and touch hunger. 

The throughline of the whole conversation is practice. These aren't talks you nail on the first try, and the goal isn't a single perfect conversation — it's becoming fluent enough at curiosity that you stop needing an agenda at all. 

Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at GreatWolf.com

Tumble: Machine Washable Rugs, Made Better. For a limited time only, our listeners get 10% off + free shipping at Tumbleliving.com/HUMANS

Merit Beauty: It's time for your makeup and skincare to meet the reality of your daily routine with Merit Beauty.comMyPhone by Ooma: Safe calling with parental controls. Go to ooma.com/myphone to shop phones and learn more.
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