The Divorce Course Podcast

Are you dealing with a manipulative or narcissistic type ex during your divorce? Is your ex lying to everyone during your divorce? In this episode, Laura and Lynette use Brandolini's Law—the concept that it takes much more effort to refute lies than to create them—and explore how it applies to family law. With practical strategies and actionable tips, they unpack how to deal with false allegations, overwhelming legal tactics, and post-separation abuse. Whether you’re facing mediation, legal letters, or the courtroom, this episode is packed with strategies to help you stay organized, conserve energy, and protect your peace. Disclaimer: This podcast provides general legal education and is not a substitute for independent legal advice. Always consult a qualified lawyer for guidance tailored to your situation. Listen to This Episode If You: 🌟 Are dealing with a narcissistic or manipulative ex during divorce. ❓ Feel overwhelmed by false allegations or legal or post separation abuse. 💡 Want to learn strategies to document and disprove lies effectively. 🛡 Are struggling to conserve your energy and stay focused during legal battles. 📚 Need tools to manage post-separation abuse in mediation or court.   Key Topics Discussed in This Episode: Understanding Brandolini’s Law: The principle that it takes significantly more effort to refute lies than to create them. How this applies to family law and dealing with false allegations. Steeling Yourself for Narcissistic Tactics: How to prepare mentally and emotionally for lies and manipulations. Why expecting the unexpected can give you the upper hand. Conserving Energy and Focus: Tips for using your time and resources wisely when faced with endless false claims. The importance of documenting everything from the start. Proving Credibility: Demonstrating that your ex is an unreliable witness. Why detailed documentation and evidence are critical for the court. Navigating Mediation and Court: Strategies for dealing with falsehoods in affidavits and mediation sessions. How to choose your battles based on the stage of your case. Self-Care During Legal Battles: Managing the emotional toll of post-separation abuse. Creating a safe space for yourself and your children.     Links & Resources Mentioned: Free Resources: Word Salad Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/wordsaladchecklist Mediation Checklist Before You Go Checklist Recommended Episodes: Mind Over Manipulation: The Grey Rock Technique https://youtu.be/bXEV6LJPQR8?si=KdJ5xzP9tR1vea46 How to Read a Legal Letter Like a Lawyer https://youtu.be/4BebPATCgLc?si=3ID87tAoQXRb5KZ3 Navigating Post-Separation Abuse https://youtu.be/YALj5wsoe6k?si=2OW7tnlGWErAljap Court Conveyor Belt: What to Expect https://youtu.be/ZgK7ExIgOfk?si=4_yT8CHeZATSAOos     Emergency Contacts: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE: Call 1800 811 811 LEGAL AID: Visit Legal Aid Lifeline: Call 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support and counseling. Mensline Australia: Call 1300 789 978 for confidential support for men. Kids Help Line: Call 1800 551 800 for young people needing help. National Domestic Violence Hotline (1800 RESPECT): Call 1800 737 732 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123     Final Thoughts: Navigating lies and manipulations during divorce is exhausting, but you don’t have to do it alone. With the right strategies and support, you can overcome these tactics and come out stronger. Remember, organization and preparation are your best tools. Take it one step at a time—you’ve got this. Disclaimer: This podcast provides general legal education and is not a substitute for independent legal advice. Always consult a qualified lawyer for guidance tailored to your situation.   00:00 Introduction to Brandolini's Law and Narcissism in Divorce 00:21 New Year Greetings and Divorce Realities 01:32 Understanding Brandolini's Law 02:50 Applying Brandolini's Law to Divorce & Family Court 04:16 Seven Tips for Handling Narcissistic Exes in Divorce 06:03 Using Your Energy Wisely in Family Court 08:40 Proving Lies and Managing Distractions in Mediation or Family Court 20:43 Interim Hearings and Final Trials & Affidavits in Divorce 27:31 Mediation Strategies with a Narcissist  32:48 Final Thoughts and Encouragement  

Listen to This Episode If You: 🎄 Are navigating the holiday season post-separation or divorce. ❓ Need guidance on legal deadlines and court closures during Christmas. 💡 Want tips for co-parenting and managing handovers with minimal stress. 🛡 Are concerned about manipulative or high-conflict behavior during the holidays. 🌟 Are looking for ideas to create new traditions and move forward emotionally. 🎄Trying to figure out how to manage Christmas under the same roof this year. Trigger warning: Domestic and Family Violence is discussed in this episode.  Disclaimer: This podcast provides general legal education and is not a substitute for personalized legal advice. Always consult a qualified lawyer for guidance tailored to your circumstances. Separated for the Holidays? How to Manage Legal and Emotional Challenges   The holiday season can be particularly challenging for those navigating separation or divorce. In this episode, we offer practical tips and emotional support for managing legal matters, co-parenting, and the unique pressures of this time of year. We discuss everything from court closures and legal deadlines to handling difficult exes and creating new traditions with your kids. Whether you’re under the same roof with your ex, facing your first holiday alone, or co-parenting through conflict, this episode provides strategies to help you cope and thrive. Key Topics Discussed: Legal Matters During the Holidays: Court closures in the Australian Family Court and deadlines during the Christmas and New Year period. What to consider doing if you receive unexpected legal documents from your ex. Emergency contacts for urgent legal applications. Making plans with your lawyer over the Christmas break. Co-Parenting Challenges: Managing Christmas handovers and shared custody arrangements. Shielding kids from parental conflict and ensuring their joy during the holidays. Tips for planning and communicating with your ex to reduce misunderstandings. Living Under One Roof: Strategies for surviving the holiday period with your ex in the same house. Emotional and practical tips to maintain peace for yourself and your children. Safety Planning: Recognizing heightened risks of family violence during the holidays. Developing a safety plan and resources for immediate help. Building New Traditions: Overcoming the emotional challenges of changing family dynamics. Ideas for creating meaningful and joyful new traditions with your kids. How to embrace "adult Christmas" and find happiness in new experiences. Self-Care and Support: Managing loneliness and isolation during the holidays. Connecting with friends, family, or community groups for support. Planning your day to stay busy and emotionally grounded.   Final Thoughts: The holidays can be a difficult time, but with the right strategies and support, you can navigate them successfully. Whether you’re dealing with a challenging ex, managing legal deadlines, or starting new traditions, remember: this season is temporary, and brighter days lie ahead. Disclaimer: This podcast provides general legal education and is not a substitute for personalized legal advice. Always consult a qualified lawyer for guidance tailored to your circumstances. Happy holidays from all of us at the Divorce Course Podcast. ❤️   Links & Resources Mentioned: Episodes Mentioned in this The Do’s and Don’ts  of being separated under one roof https://youtu.be/jdi4snqP_I4?si=6zmQS1XAYZPkm_gG Handover Hell: how to deal handover https://youtu.be/YphzOPZmC3k?si=YSOHinsBvaxvLlX5 Co Parenting & Navigating the School Holidays with the Four Divorce Personality Types / Ep. 79 https://youtu.be/vnUo5oEGQRo?si=sB49DNfdTYHPqGPo No No No to Ho Ho Ho Divorce During Christmas https://youtu.be/DoO7aNw9ja0?si=8lgyHLtPdsnimn91 10 essential boundaries in divorce https://youtu.be/5KSMYe6ctVE?si=yfH4diXg8GWBd6ba   Emergency Contacts: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE LEGAL AID Lifeline: 13 11 14 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia Police: 000 DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636 National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)     Thank you for tuning in to this episode. We hope these strategies empower you to handle mediation with confidence and clarity. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Every share helps others find support during difficult times. Stay strong—you’ve got this. Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is unique, so seek personalized legal advice tailored to your circumstances. 00:00 Introduction and Overview 01:30 Legal Matters During the Holidays 03:44 Challenges of Living Under One Roof 07:49 Co-Parenting and Custody Issues 18:02 Dealing with Manipulative Ex-Partners 22:54 Navigating Custody Without Court Orders 23:11 Creating New Traditions After Separation 27:59 Handling Emotional Challenges During Holidays 29:16 Legal Tips for Holiday Custody Arrangements 30:26 Planning and Self-Care for a Better Holiday 34:41 Dealing with High-Conflict Exes 37:21 Final Thoughts and Encouragement  

Does Family Violence and Post Separation Abuse factor into Property Settlement? This is now answered in The Family Law Amendment Bill 2024 which introduces some of the most significant reforms in the Australia Family Court in decades, addressing key issues like financial abuse, property disputes, and the treatment of family violence in court. In this episode, We are going to break down the changes, and try to explain what they mean for you, and share practical tips on how to prepare if you're navigating the family court system. These updates aim to create a fairer, safer process for families in transition.   Disclaimer: Always talk to your own lawyer before making any decisions or actions on your own case and situation. This discussion is general in nature and should not be considered legal advice.   Listen to This Episode If You: 🌟 Are dealing with financial or economical abuse and want to understand how it’s recognized in the new laws. ❓ Are curious about how any type of  family violence impacts property settlements. 🐾 Want to know how pets are treated in property settlements under the new reforms. 💡 Need to understand the regulatory changes to Children’s Contact Services. 🛡 Want to stay informed on how the latest family law changes could affect your case.     Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode: Expanded Definition of Family Violence: Includes economic and financial abuse (e.g., controlling finances or withholding support). Courts will now explicitly consider these behaviors in property settlements. Family Violence and Contributions: Courts must evaluate how family violence impacts financial and non-financial contributions. Adjustments to property settlements may favor victims of abuse. Pets in Property Settlements: New provisions address disputes over companion animals, focusing on exclusive ownership or sale. Recognizes the role pets play in family dynamics and safety concerns. Children’s Contact Services (CCS): Establishes accreditation and compliance requirements for CCS providers. Introduces protections for sensitive safety information shared within CCS. Protected Confidences: Enhances safeguards for therapeutic notes and children’s statements, ensuring privacy in court proceedings.   Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast: Supplementary explanatory memorandum  Family Law Amendment Bill https://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Bills_Legislation/bd/bd2425/25bd013 https://parlinfo.aph.gov.au/parlInfo/search/display/display.w3p;query=Id%3A%22legislation%2Fems%2Fr7234_ems_d9233ec7-832e-4627-88c2-6970f86eb262%22 ARC App https://download.arc-app.org.au/ Empower You App - https://www.police.nsw.gov.au/safety_and_prevention/policing_in_the_community/empower_you_app   Episodes for More Information: Communicating Coercive Control in Your Affidavit https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ci0M4DqznBf1L1kcZM3vY?si=wVsGQ4wcSViYDeBJZr8Puw Post-Separation Abuse: Strategies to Protect Yourself https://open.spotify.com/episode/1ccm01eMpJ3TMZa2uMaUMN?si=FvU_ux2ATBuiBL5IW2g8gQ       Emergency Contacts: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE: Call 1800 811 811  LEGAL AID:https://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/Home Access free or low-cost legal advice tailored to your situation. Lifeline: Call 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support and counseling. Mensline Australia: Call 1300 789 978 for confidential support tailored for men. Kids Help Line: Call 1800 551 800 for counseling services for children and young people. Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1800 019 123 for culturally sensitive support. Relationships Australia: Access resources and counseling for relationship and family issues. Emergency Services: Call 000 in an emergency for immediate assistance. DVConnect Womensline: Call 1800 811 811 for support, 24/7. DV Connect Mensline: Call 1800 600 636 for advice and assistance for men. National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT) for 24/7 counseling and support. These resources are here to help you. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for support—you are not alone.     Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is unique, so seek personalized legal advice tailored to your circumstances. 00:00 Introduction to Family Law Changes 01:09 Significant Changes in Family Law Act 03:35 Economic and Financial Abuse 06:48 Impact of Family Violence on Contributions 10:46 Wastage and Financial Misconduct 15:47 Pets and Family Law 19:12 Children Contact Centers 20:50 Accreditation and Safety in Contact Centers 22:01 Understanding Protected Confidences 25:15 Implications of New Legislation on Counseling 27:25 Property Reforms and Family Violence 31:26 Practical Steps for Ongoing Cases 36:32 Documenting Family Violence 38:44 Future Impacts and Final Thoughts  

Mediation is meant to be a pathway to resolution, but what happens when one party has no intention of settling? In this episode we explore the troubles and solutions of mediation, offering practical tips on how to navigate manipulative tactics and protect your mental health. Whether it’s property or parenting arrangements, this is an informative guide on what you can potentially expect before, during, and after mediation to stay one step ahead. If you’ve ever worried about being stuck in a mediation that feels like a game rather than a genuine effort to resolve issues, this episode is for you. Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is unique, so seek personalised legal advice tailored to your circumstances. Listen to This Episode If You: 🌟 Want to prepare for an upcoming mediation session. ❓ Are unsure how to handle a manipulative ex during mediation. 💡 Need strategies to make mediation as productive as possible. 🛡 Are concerned about wasting time and money in mediation.  📚 Want tips to protect your legal and emotional boundaries. Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode: The Purpose of Mediation: Understanding its role in the divorce process and when it works best.  Manipulative Tactics to Watch For: Recognising red flags during mediation. Preparation Tips: How to gather evidence and set boundaries before mediation.  Strategies During Mediation: Getting small wins, staying focused, and not falling into traps. Post-Mediation Steps: Following up with offers and using mediation outcomes in court, even if no agreement is reached.  Common Pitfalls:  “Don’t be surprised if” scenarios, including last-minute walkouts and wild demands.  Emotional Management: How to stay calm and avoid frustration when things don’t go as planned. Links & Resources Mentioned: Course Enrolment: Join our Divorce Blueprint Course www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol before the deadline to get personalised guidance, legal education, and emotional support from Laura and Lynette. Platinum spots are limited—sign up now to secure your place. 4VOICES https://www.4voices.org.au/ Christmas Appeal https://4voiceschristmasappeal.raiselysite.com/  Episodes Mentioned in this 8 Ways to Protect yourself from DARVO and your Narcissistic Ex during Family Court https://youtu.be/pRMOfozwBKs?si=tDmJwHO3ch-uYhTg Mediation and negotiation tips for divorcing an ex with narcissistic behaviors / Ep. 99 https://youtu.be/JYqqDyWa5ns?si=k7G6OfpMwPP1Hqgg Costs, Family Court and Calderbank Offers / Ep. 65 https://youtu.be/0OKhDB8s3As?si=54omWq46LHn_Eb6R Do I really need a lawyer for divorce mediation or family dispute resolution? https://youtu.be/GB2lJftxdh4?si=BgdkYJrQTeokTlSK Master Your Divorce Negotiations: The Iron Fist Within the Velvet Glove Technique / Ep. 109 https://youtu.be/JSYc-yun-jM?si=VCefzLZb-ie-f1m9   Emergency Contacts: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE LEGAL AID Lifeline: 13 11 14 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia Police: 000 DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636 National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)   Thank you for tuning in to this episode. We hope these strategies empower you to handle mediation with confidence and clarity. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Every share helps others find support during difficult times. Stay strong—you’ve got this.   Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is unique, so seek personalized legal advice tailored to your circumstances. 00:00 Introduction and Overview 01:06 The Importance of Mediation in Divorce 02:23 Recognising Manipulative Tactics during divorce 03:53 Pre-Mediation Strategies for mediating with a narcissist or manipulative type 06:23 During Mediation: What to Expect 10:08 What can you do Post-Mediation 20:23 Making the Most of a Failed Mediation 25:41 What about Unrealistic Demands in Mediation 26:34 Preparing for Mediation Roadblocks 28:51 Handling Unexpected Settlement Outcomes 30:23 How to Deal with Manipulative Tactics 36:55 The Importance of Legal Representation 38:56 Lowering Expectations and Emotional Preparation for Mediation 43:41 Final Thoughts and Additional Resources #familycourt #familylaw #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #divorcinganarcissist #divorcesettlement #divorceplanning #familylawattorney #divorcesupport #mediation #divorcelawyer #divorcepodcast #childsupport #custodybattle