Skip to 6:00 for 50 affirmations of self love. I said, read, and sang these words to myself everyday for the last few months. It has helped me in tremendous ways. I love carrying out Godβs purpose and using my voice to share my story. Iβm at a place of stillness, calmness, peace and prosperity. I have walked away from those who made me feel less than I am and so remind myself everyday. In doing so, many aspects of my life have effortlessly elevated. I hope it does the same for you.
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16:38
Impromptu Prayer to My Husband π¦β¨
βThe tongue has the power of life and deathβ (Proverbs 18:21) I am in a place of healing and happiness!! Praise God. I cannot express to you how great it feels to finally be freed from the chains of delusion I was trapped in. I pray to God that He opens my eyes to NEVER tolerate anything less than a God given love. To my future husband: I thank you in advance for loving me the way I love, for accepting my son, and Iβm so excited to build a legacy and family with you!!! Thank you for being a manβs man. Ooooo.. Baby boy Iβm waiting and ready for you and Iβm preparing myself to be the WIFE and MOTHER you need me to be. I canβt wait to give you the love I was giving to the wrong person, and just because I KNOW youβll love me the sameβ¦.Iβll multiply the love times TEN! In Jesus name π€ oops, i forgot to mention-a man who would NEVER let me go to sleep upset/crying.
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39:17
Why Is This Happening? π¦β¨
I feel as if we ask ourselves this question several times a day. From problems as minor a flat tire to as major as losing your job. Especially as believers, I feel as if we feel like God should always have our backs and nothing bad should ever happen to us. But deep down, we know this is not the true reality of what life is. Life is good, bad, great, and terrible ~ thereβs a purpose behind it all. We dive into this parable in 2 Corinthians as an example of the type of faith and attitude we should have when it comes to trusting in Gods will and purpose. Instead of asking, βWhy is this happening?β Letβs Ask βWhat is it that you want me to learn?β
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33:04
Day 56: The Day I Fumbled.
June 24 β¦ 56 days, 8 weeks, 2 months. I fumbled. I canβt even blame him, it was all on me. I shouldnβt have expected anything less than disappointment from this man. His reason behind not communicating with me is heartbreaking and truly a smack in the face. He lied again & said he loved me. Made it seem like he still wanted me, used me, then blocked me. How can you be crazy in love with me but let another female get in the way, what happened to your promise of reassurance? Guess Iβm either not worth it or it was never real. I gotta learn to accept people for who they are and what they show me. Lord knows Iβm big on actions. Can anyone tell me how to stop loving someone who doesnβt love me? Someone who hurts me intentionally over and over? Cause I know he knows blocking me hurt, yet he did it anyway. When he was down and sad I gave him all my love. Now he is the cause of my sadness and instead of giving me love, he gave me distance. I thought I was your world? Wow.
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45:27
Day 30: My Heartbreak Fears π¦
β οΈTRIGGER WARNING: talks of when i wanted to end my life, drug use, and heavy profanityβ οΈ
Still being real, raw, and vulnerable with my listeners this episode is about my current feelings/fears 30 days into no communication with army man. I didnβt think I would get this emotional and honestly this episode was me winging it. Normally I outline my thoughts but I truly spoke from the heart. I hate myself for still loving him. How do you stop loving someone, who you know never really even loved you? Time heals all, well I need time to speed up or just stop. You ever feel this defeated?
My podcast is about me and my past/current trauma. I plan on making this year my year of transformation and you can follow my progress on this podcast. We will talk about motherhood, being a nursing student, real life difficulties and heartbreak. Hopefully my rawness and realness either inspires or comforts you. Thanks for joining & listening π€ My insta is @shestaybeautiful π¦
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