Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri

I’m very pleased to see the menopause is being discussed more that it ever was. It does, after all, potentially affect a great many of us: directly and by proxy.

About fifteen years ago, I wanted to write an article for the Guardian about it but kept hitting not so much brick walls as cul de sacs. The questions I was asking kept coming back with “we don’t really know” answers. As you’ll see from this podcast there are still a lot of unknowns. But what I do talk about in this episode on the Menopause brain with Dr Sophie Behrman is about what we do know is happening in the brain: the rewiring that goes on that can make women feel unsure and anxious, the effects of dropping levels of hormones and the subsequent effect on the GABA and glutamate system of the brain.

Sophie is a general adult psychiatrist who works in a community mental health team in Oxford and has set up an NHS menopause and menstrual disorders clinic, open to women who fit a certain criteria. Sophie is a member of the Royal College of Psychiatrists’ Menopause Working party and is currently doing research into suicidality and the perimenopause. She’s also edited a book for the Royal College of Psychiatrists called “Menopause, Menstrual Cycles and Mental Health” which will be published by Cambridge University Press in 2026. Do look out for it.
Thanks again to Emily Tammam for the idea for this podcast and the introduction to Dr Sophie Behrman.

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Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
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In the spring of 2020, I got a letter. It was, quite possibly, the worse letter I’ve ever got and I’ve had a few. It was full of bile and unhappiness, unfair and harsh. I recognised immediately that the letter writer was talking about herself and projecting onto me but that didn’t stop it hurting because I realised in that moment that the letter writer would never accept responsibility for her own behaviour and always make it someone else’s fault: primarily mine. So I decided to move out of her way so that, hopefully, her beam of dissatisfaction with life could be aimed elsewhere.

Projection is a defence mechanism. It’s used when people cannot bear certain aspects of themselves and project them onto others. We all do it to a degree (none of us is perfect!) but some people do it habitually and without ever looking at their own place in things. It’s the subject of this podcast where I talk to psychotherapist Ryan Bennett-Clarke about what exactly it is, how to recognise it and how to deflect it so that each person deals with their own behaviour. If you’ve ever left a meeting with someone feeling utterly drained and crap about yourself the chances are that person is projecting something not-positive onto you. You’re going to love this podcast, and I hope you find it fabulously useful in every day life.

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.

You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.
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Claudia Hammond is an award-winning author and broadcaster.

Listeners may recognise her name and voice from her Radio Four programme All in the Mind, or Health Check on the BBC’s World Service. Claudia is Radio’s Four ‘voice of psychology’ and Visiting Professor Of The Public Understanding of Psychology at the University of Sussex.
Claudia’s sixth book is Overwhelmed, Ways to Take The Pressure Off which came out in January 2026. Side note that there’s also an audio book narrated by Claudia which is beautiful to listen to.
So what’s the book, and this podcast, about? It’s for those of us who have too many browser windows open in our heads, a feeling I’m sure many of us will identify with. Are To-Do lists a good idea? Why is rest important? How much doom-scrolling is permissible is okay? What can you do if you feel overwhelmed (isn’t that all of us at some point?).

Claudia brings lots of (fascinating) evidence based research to help us develop very practical strategies on how to maybe close some of those browser windows, or at least ignore them for a bit.
This is the last episode in Series 11. Series 12 will come out in the spring and we’ve already started recording and I’m very excited about it!

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.

You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to E3 of S11 of Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri.

This one is a bit of a potentially scary subject: facing fate. But I’m here to hold your hand through it.

I’ve certainly had to do my fair share of facing up to fate in the last year and when Andrew Balfour contacted me telling me about his book Life and Death, Our Relationship with Ageing, Dementia and Other Fates of Time, I rather jumped on it.

There’s a lot of fear about getting older, but then there’s also a lot of fear about not getting older, ie dying. And with increasing rates of dementia, people are also terrified of getting older and losing capacity.
Given that death and ageing of some form is a given why do we fear it so? It’s probably about loss of control, a vulnerability that none of us want and maybe having to rely on people around us. Who wouldn’t be scared.

But, we want to help you think about these things in a calm way and maybe get some coping mechanisms. So, in this episode we talk about why we’re so afraid of getting older and dying and why that might affect some people more than others (perhaps not surprisingly, early life has something to do with it). Make yourself a comforting drink and have a listen.

Andrew Balfour is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, he was clinical director of Tavistock Relationships and is now its Chief Executive.

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.

You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.
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Welcome back to Series 11 and episode 3. What are BFRBs? It's picking, biting or pulling, skin, nails or hair or Body Focused Repetitive Behaviours.

Here I’m in conversation with Professor Clare Mackay, Professor of Neuroscience at the University of Oxford.

Professor Mackay has spent over thirty years studying the structure and function of the human brain. In 2023 she turned her attention to a disorder she’d been living with for most of her life: hair pulling, which comes under the umbrella of BFRBS.

BFRBs are often done unconsciously at first and, as we’ll learn, are a throw back to primate grooming behaviour gone a bit awry. Most of us do have some BFRBs, we may pick the skin around our nails, or bite our nails or even become fixated with plucking that stray hair, but it’s when it goes into overdrive that it can become a problem.

In this episode we find out about a fascinating neuron which surrounds every hair follicle called the CT fibre, which, when stimulated (stroked etc) by someone we trust releases endorphins. This is why we love having our hair or skin stroked or touched (or those fabulous head massages!).

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.

You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.

So, could BFRBs be a misfire with this neuron? We discuss this and talk in depth about what BFRBs are, what they’re not, how to deal with them if you suffer from them and there’s some really useful advice for parents with children with BFRBs.

Clare’s written a fascinating book called Keep your Hair on, which is published on April 2nd 2026.
I hope you enjoy this fascinating episode and with grateful thanks to Emily Tammam for the suggestion.
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