It's a Mindset

Have you ever held back what you really wanted to say because you were worried about how the conversation might go?
The concern you leave unspoken. The disagreement you brush aside. The conversation you keep rehearsing in your head, but never quite begin.
In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by Tim Duggan, author, founder and optimist, to explore how we can get better at conflict and approach difficult conversations with more intention.
Tim co-founded Junkee Media and writes a weekly column on work for The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age. His latest book, Clear in Tension: How to Get Better at Conflict, grew from his own experience of avoiding conflict and his curiosity about how we can learn to handle it differently.
We explore why we swallow our words, how trust and values shape disagreements, and what it means to listen generously when we’re tempted to jump in with our own answer. Tim introduces his Four Terrains of Conflict and CLEAR method, offering ways to better understand the situation we’re in before deciding how to respond.
Our conversation also takes us into creativity, making space to think, and the choices we make around AI. Tim shares why he uses it for some tasks while protecting the writing and thinking he values doing himself, including the uncomfortable work of a personal apology.
After researching Tim, I was looking forward to hearing how to lean into conflict rather than avoid it, and it didn’t disappoint. He’s a master communicator, and I particularly enjoyed his reflections around AI. There’s plenty here to consider in our relationships, our work and the conversations we’ve been putting off.
Key Episode Takeaways:
Getting better at conflict takes practice. Starting with lower-stakes conversations can help us build familiarity with the discomfort and prepare for more difficult moments.
Trust and values shape how disagreement feels. Tim’s Four Terrains of Conflict offer a way to understand why some conversations allow a productive exchange of ideas while others feel much harder to navigate.
Listening generously means noticing the urge to interrupt or solve. Tim’s CLEAR method invites us to clarify what matters, listen generously, explore what’s underneath, align on a shared direction and reset our story.
Resolution is one possible outcome. Tim also explores what it means to repeat or release a conflict, and why recognising these possibilities can change how we approach it.
Choosing which disagreements deserve our energy matters. Understanding what is important can help us be more intentional about the conversations we take on.
AI raises questions about the skills we want to keep practising. Tim shares his concerns about outsourcing the effort involved in writing, thinking and making a meaningful apology.
About the Guest:
Tim Duggan is an author, founder and optimist. He co-founded Junkee Media, is the Chair of the Digital Publishers Alliance and writes a weekly column on work for The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age.
His work explores complex ideas about how we live and work. His latest book, Clear in Tension: How to Get Better at Conflict, draws on his research into disagreement and communication, alongside his own experience of learning to approach conflict.
Show Resources:
Explore Tim’s book, Clear in Tension
Read Tim’s writing on Substack
Connect with Tim on LinkedIn
Follow Tim on Instagram: @tim_duggan
Follow Emma on Instagram: @emmalagerlow
Explore Emma’s website
If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @tim_duggan. I’d love to hear what stayed with you.
Yours in courageous conversations, Emma. X.

What if a belief you’ve carried for years no longer reflects what you want for your life?
You want to try something new.
You can imagine what might become possible.
And then a familiar thought arrives: that’s not for me.
In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by spiritual hypnotherapist Lynnsey Robinson, founder of the Align Your Mind™ mindset app and co-host of the High Vibin’ It and Spiritual Kinks podcasts.
We explore Lynnsey’s approach to hypnotherapy, the subconscious mind and the beliefs that can influence how we see ourselves and our possibilities. She shares how she works with clients to examine familiar patterns, and explains the distinction between hypnotherapy for personal change and stage hypnosis for entertainment.
Having experienced hypnotherapy and been hypnotised myself, I was curious to understand those differences and hear more about Lynnsey’s work. We also discuss the fear of being seen, the stories we tell ourselves about what we’re capable of, and why those stories can be worth revisiting.
Lynnsey’s own journey brings another layer to the conversation. After becoming a mum, she found herself drawn back to studying hypnotherapy while also feeling the pressure to choose a familiar, financially predictable path. Her story opens up an honest discussion about following an interest, making room for uncertainty and beginning with small steps.
I share how that has appeared in my own life, from changing direction at 45 to listening to the nudge towards yoga teacher training—something I’m enjoying exploring as a hobby.
We also talk about how our definition of success evolves. Can you be grateful for what you have and still want to grow? Can you appreciate where you are without deciding that you’re finished?
This conversation offers a chance to become curious about your inner dialogue, consider what you’d like to move towards, and explore Lynnsey’s perspective on hypnotherapy, intuition and manifesting.
Key Episode Takeaways:
Explore the distinction between hypnotherapy and stage hypnosis, including Lynnsey’s explanation of awareness and choice during a session.
Become curious about familiar beliefs rather than automatically treating them as permanent truths about who you are.
Make an intimidating goal more approachable by starting with a small, practical step.
Consider what you want to move towards, alongside what you’d like to leave behind.
Allow gratitude and ambition to coexist—you can appreciate your life and still be interested in what comes next.
When a discouraging thought appears, ask: “What would I like to believe instead?”
About the Guest:
Lynnsey Robinson is a spiritual hypnotherapist and founder of the Align Your Mind™ mindset app. Her work focuses on helping women explore limiting beliefs, connect with their intuition and move towards a life that feels aligned with them.
She brings a spiritual perspective to hypnotherapy, mindset and manifesting, and co-hosts the High Vibin’ It and Spiritual Kinks podcasts. In this episode, she shares both her approach to working with clients and the personal decisions that brought her into this work.
Show Resources:
Explore Lynnsey’s offerings
Follow Lynnsey on Instagram: @lynnseyrobinson
Try Align Your Mind free for 7 days
Follow Emma on Instagram: @emmalagerlow
Explore Emma’s website
If you explore hypnotherapy recordings, choose a safe place where you can rest undisturbed. Don’t listen to them while driving or operating machinery.
If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @lynnseyrobinson.
Yours in curiosity and possibility, Emma. X.

What is your body trying to tell you — and how often do you pause long enough to listen?
A little tension. A feeling of restlessness. Tiredness you keep promising yourself you’ll deal with later.
When life is full, it’s easy to brush those feelings aside and keep going. But becoming more aware of them can open up a different conversation with yourself.
In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by Melissa Lever, a physiotherapist, Pilates instructor and founder of Body Intuition Collective, to explore interoception: our ability to notice signals from within the body.
Drawing on 20 years of clinical experience, Melissa shares how seeing people return to her practice with recurring discomfort prompted her to explore the relationship between physical sensations, stress and the demands of daily life.
She introduces her four-step approach — notice, interpret, regulate and align — and explains how we can begin asking what we’re feeling, what it might mean in context, and what support or adjustment we might need.
We explore the habit of pushing through, the importance of boundaries, and the added complexity of interpreting how we feel during perimenopause. Melissa also shares how movement, time outdoors and connection fit into her own life, alongside seeking appropriate professional support.
Melissa and I first connected on Instagram, and as I learnt more about her work, I was intrigued. With many of us navigating menopause, perimenopause and busy lives, I wanted to understand how we could become more attentive to ourselves. Our conversation also reminded me that loving what you do doesn’t mean you can do everything.
Beyond her professional work, Melissa reflects on seven months travelling around Australia with her husband, three children and their dog. The experience challenged her love of planning and helped her clarify what she wanted to make more room for at home.
We also talk about the courage involved in building something new after an established career, and how success can evolve from professional achievement to a life with greater connection, wellbeing and presence.
This conversation is an invitation to become curious about how you feel, rather than automatically carrying on.
Key Episode Takeaways:
Interoception is awareness of signals from within your body. Melissa explains how noticing those sensations can become a skill we practise in everyday life.
Pause before you push through. Her four-step approach — notice, interpret, regulate and align — offers a way to consider what you’re feeling and what you might need.
Context matters, particularly during perimenopause. Hormonal changes, sleep, stress and workload can overlap, making curiosity and appropriate professional support valuable.
Boundaries help create room for wellbeing. Saying yes to something can also mean giving up time for rest, connection or another personal priority.
Success can change as your life changes. Melissa shares why good health, time and presence have become central to her definition of wealth.
About the Guest:
Melissa Lever is a physiotherapist with 20 years of clinical experience, a Pilates instructor, clinic co-owner and mum of three based on Sydney’s Northern Beaches. Her clinical work includes physiotherapy and Pilates, with a focus on helping people move in ways suited to their individual needs.
She founded Body Intuition Collective to help people develop greater awareness of their body’s internal signals. Through education, retreats and online programs, Melissa brings together her physiotherapy experience and interest in interoception, supporting women to explore their wellbeing and make choices that reflect what matters to them.
Show Resources:
Explore Melissa’s website
Follow Melissa on Instagram: @bodyintuitioncollective
Habits Program — Perimenopause Edition
Follow Emma on Instagram: @emmalagerlow
Explore Emma’s book, Worthy & Wealthy
If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @bodyintuitioncollective. We’d love to hear what resonated with you.
Yours in listening to yourself, Emma. X.

What might become possible if you stopped waiting to feel confident and acted first?

We often assume confidence is something we need before we introduce ourselves, ask a question, extend an invitation or pursue an opportunity. But what if confidence is actually created by doing the very things that make us uncomfortable?

In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by speaker, author and social courage expert Nick Bendel. In August 2019, Nick began an ambitious project to have lunch with 500 strangers. What started as a way for a natural introvert to improve his social skills and build relationships became a six-year exploration of courage, confidence, rejection and human connection.

The project eventually inspired his book, The 500 Lunches Effect: How Social Courage Changes Everything. I was immediately intrigued by Nick’s story. I certainly enjoy a long lunch, but meeting 500 strangers is an entirely different proposition. I wanted to understand what compelled him to begin, what kept him going and what he discovered through talking to people from vastly different professions, ages and backgrounds.

Nick explains that social courage means taking action when we don’t feel completely ready or when we risk being judged, rejected, criticised or embarrassed. It might involve asking for a promotion, speaking in front of an audience, approaching someone at an event or inviting somebody on a date. We explore why fear of another person’s reaction can create hesitation, how easily we turn rejection into a judgement about our worth and why somebody else’s “no” is generally far less personal than we imagine.

Nick also shares practical ways to make social connection feel less intimidating. We don’t need a brilliant opening line or an impressive story. A simple introduction, genuine curiosity and thoughtful listening can be enough to begin a meaningful conversation.

Our conversation moves beyond networking to consider the deeper importance of human connection. In a world where so much communication now occurs digitally, it is possible to move through our days surrounded by people without truly connecting with any of them.

Nick’s experience is an invitation to become a little more courageous, a little more curious and more willing to take the small social risks that can open the door to new relationships and opportunities.

Key Episode Takeaways:

Confidence follows action. Waiting until we feel confident can keep us stuck indefinitely. Confidence grows when we take action despite feeling uncertain or uncomfortable.

Social courage is personal. Speaking publicly may feel natural to one person and terrifying to another. Courage isn’t determined by the action itself, but by what taking that action requires from the individual.

Rejection is rarely the judgement we imagine it to be. Someone may decline an invitation because of their time, responsibilities or insecurities. Their answer does not automatically say anything about our worth.

We don’t need to be particularly clever to begin a conversation. A simple introduction and genuine interest in another person can be far more effective than trying to deliver the perfect opening line.

Listening helps people feel valued. Asking thoughtful questions and giving someone room to share what matters to them can create stronger rapport than dominating a conversation.

An imperfect plan can produce meaningful progress. Social courage doesn’t require an enormous leap. Choosing the smallest realistic step and building from there makes change more sustainable.

Connection is an important part of success. Money, status and achievement can feel hollow without meaningful friendships and relationships in our lives.

About the Guest:

Nick Bendel is a speaker, author and social courage expert who helps people overcome hesitation and create more opportunities in their careers and lives.

He is the author of The 500 Lunches Effect: How Social Courage Changes Everything, based on his six-year project to have lunch with 500 strangers. Drawing on his background as a journalist and business owner, Nick explores how small acts of social courage shape relationships, confidence and success. He speaks and writes about social courage, networking, confidence, personal growth and the hidden role hesitation plays in human potential.

Show Resources:

Visit Nick’s website: https://www.nickbendel.com

Connect with Nick on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nick-bendel

Follow Nick on Instagram: @mrnickbendel

Follow Emma Lagerlow on Instagram: @emmalagerlow

Discover more about Emma and her work: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/

If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us at @emmalagerlow and @mrnickbendel.

Yours in courage and connection, Emma. X.

What happens to a family when mental ill health enters their lives without warning?

The focus understandably turns to the person who is unwell. But surrounding them are often parents, partners, siblings and friends trying to make sense of an unfamiliar system while carrying fear, uncertainty and responsibility of their own.

In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by perioperative nurse, carer peer worker, SANE peer ambassador and author Sarah Martin. Sarah and her family became what she describes as “accidental carers” when one of her children experienced a mental health crisis while travelling overseas. What followed changed the course of their lives and eventually inspired Sarah’s first book, Dear Psychosis.

Her second book, Dear Carer, turns its attention to the people standing beside someone living with complex mental ill health.

Sarah shares how little support her family could find for themselves and why stigma, privacy and the desire to protect a loved one caused them to become increasingly silent. We explore the isolation this can create for carers and the difference it makes to feel genuinely seen, heard and understood by someone who is willing to listen.

We also discuss the practical knowledge families may need when navigating mental health services and emergencies, from understanding the roles of different clinicians to recognising a loved one’s triggers and preparing a toolkit before a crisis occurs.

At the heart of our conversation is Sarah’s message that carers must be cared for too.

She speaks candidly about the years she spent placing her own needs aside, why accepting invitations and seeking psychological support became important parts of her own wellbeing, and how looking after yourself ultimately helps the person who depends on you.

I first met Sarah through the Expert Author Community, and her first book, Dear Psychosis, left an enormous impression on me. With my own children entering adulthood, I found her family’s experience riveting, moving and confronting. Sarah also showed me what an honest and incredibly compelling book could be, so it was a genuine honour to finally have this conversation with her.

Key Episode Takeaways:

Families can become carers without warning or preparation. When complex mental ill health enters a family, everyone can be affected, yet support and information are often directed only towards the person who is unwell.

Stigma can leave entire families navigating mental ill health in silence. Carers may be reluctant to speak openly because they want to protect their loved one’s privacy, but that silence can also deepen their own isolation.

Mental ill health deserves the same curiosity and compassion as any other chronic illness. Sarah encourages us to ask respectful questions, learn more and challenge the way mental and physical illnesses are treated differently.

Carer self-care is essential, not selfish. Accepting help, maintaining connection and having somewhere safe to talk can support both the carer and the person relying on them.

Preparation can make an overwhelming situation more manageable. Understanding possible triggers, knowing what support is available and creating a practical toolkit before a crisis can help families make more informed decisions when pressure is high.

Feeling heard and seen can create an extraordinary ripple effect. Sarah’s work is grounded in helping people recognise that they are not alone and that even one person’s story can make a meaningful difference to someone else.

About the Guest:

Sarah Martin is a perioperative nurse with more than 40 years of experience, a carer peer worker and a SANE peer ambassador. She is also a mum of three, one of whom lives with bipolar affective disorder.

Sarah is the author of Dear Psychosis, which shares her family’s experience of complex mental ill health, and Dear Carer, created to provide carers with the information, perspectives and practical guidance Sarah wished her own family had been able to access. Through her writing and advocacy, she is committed to reducing the stigma and silence surrounding mental ill health and helping carers feel less alone.

Show Resources:

Connect with Sarah Martin on Instagram: @sarahmartin.author

Connect with Sarah Martin on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088825839661

Connect with Sarah Martin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-martin123/

Follow Emma Lagerlow on Instagram: @emmalagerlow

Discover more about Emma and her work: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/

Mental Health Support:

If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14. You can also access information and peer support through SANE.

If this episode raises concerns for you or someone you love, please contact an appropriate mental health support service or emergency service in your location.

If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us at @emmalagerlow and @sarahmartin.author.

Yours in compassion and connection, Emma. X.