It's a Mindset

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I’ll be happy when…”?

When I achieve the goal. When I earn more money. When the kids are settled. When work calms down. When I finally get through this busy season of life. But what if being happier isn’t about reaching a point where we feel happy all the time?

In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by happiness researcher, educator and philosopher Declan Edwards, founder of BU Happiness College and author of How To Be Happy. With a Masters Degree in Positive Psychology, Declan has dedicated his career to understanding the science and skillsets behind happier workplaces, communities and lives, sharing his insights with organisations including the United Nations General Assembly, PKF Global, TEDx and The Red Cross.

And really, who doesn’t want to be happier? I know I certainly do. But what I took most from this conversation wasn’t about trying to feel happy all the time. In fact, it was almost the opposite. Declan and I explore why we need to become more curious about all of our emotions rather than labelling some as good and others as bad. Our emotions move and change when we allow ourselves to experience them, and perhaps by making room for the full spectrum of being human, we create more room for happiness too.

We unpack what positive psychology actually is and explore the PERMAH model of wellbeing, our natural human bias towards noticing the negative, and the value of sometimes simply doing something because it makes us feel good. We also talk about the “I’ll be happy when” trap — our tendency to postpone happiness until something in our lives changes — and why our own happiness matters not only for us, but for the ripple effect it can have on the people around us.

This is such an insightful and uplifting conversation about understanding our emotions, letting go of the expectation that we should be happy all the time and recognising that happiness is something we can actively cultivate within the lives we’re already living.

Key Episode Takeaways:

Positive psychology isn’t simply about positive thinking. Declan explains what positive psychology actually explores and introduces the PERMAH model and the different elements that contribute to our wellbeing.

Happiness doesn’t mean being happy all the time. Making space for the full range of our emotions can be an important part of experiencing greater happiness and wellbeing.

Sometimes it’s valuable to simply do things that make you feel good. Not everything needs to be productive, impressive or moving us towards another goal — pleasure and enjoyment have value too.

All of our emotions have a place. Through the wheel of emotions, we explore why becoming curious about what we’re feeling can be more helpful than trying to avoid or suppress the emotions we’d rather not experience.

Our brains naturally pay more attention to the negative. Understanding our human negativity bias can help us recognise why noticing and cultivating the good in our lives sometimes requires intention.

Beware the “I’ll be happy when” trap. Constantly attaching happiness to the next achievement, milestone or change can keep moving happiness somewhere into the future instead of allowing us to experience more of it now.

Your happiness matters. Prioritising your own happiness isn’t selfish. How we feel and how we show up creates a ripple effect that can influence our relationships, workplaces, families and communities.

About the Guest:

Declan Edwards is a happiness researcher, educator and philosopher with a Masters Degree in Positive Psychology. As the founder of BU Happiness College, Declan has dedicated his career to sharing the science and skillsets that contribute to happier workplaces, happier communities and happier living. His work has seen him invited to share his insights with leading organisations including the United Nations General Assembly, PKF Global, TEDx and The Red Cross.

Declan is also the author of How To Be Happy, which explores five foundational happiness skills designed to help people understand and actively cultivate greater happiness in their everyday lives. Ultimately, Declan is driven by the hope that his work creates a ripple effect — helping individuals become happier and, in turn, making the world around them just a little bit happier.

Show Resources:

Learn More About the BU Happiness College: https://www.buhappinesscollege.com/

Check Out Declan's Website: https://declanedwards.com.au/

Learn More About Declan's Book, How To Be Happy: https://amzn.to/40AU8BT

Follow Emma on Instagram: @emmalagerlow

Check Out Emma's Website: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/

If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @declanedwards_bu.

Your in Being Happy, Emma. X.

Have you ever looked like you were holding everything together on the outside, while underneath it all you were completely overwhelmed?

For so many women, being capable, reliable and the person everyone can depend on becomes part of our identity. We keep going, keep giving and keep meeting everyone else’s needs — sometimes without realising just how depleted we’ve become ourselves.

In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by Accredited Mental Health Social Worker, Counsellor and author Pam Espin, founder of Beyond Purpose Therapy and author of Not Built to Break: How to Stop Surviving and Lead from Wholeness.

Pam has a wealth of knowledge across so many areas, and I loved having the opportunity to explore just a few of them in this conversation. Together, we unpack the roots and symptoms of burnout and why simply treating what we see on the surface may not address what’s really going on underneath. We explore women’s tendency towards self-sacrifice, the importance of understanding and allowing our emotions rather than labelling them as “good” or “bad”, and Pam’s Trifecta Method for understanding where we may be carrying our survival load.

We also delve into the late diagnosis of ADHD in women — why it can go unrecognised for so long, what receiving a diagnosis can mean, and how years of trying to meet expectations while navigating life differently can take their toll.

At the heart of our conversation is an idea that beautifully reflects Pam’s work and her book: we weren’t built simply to survive our lives. Sometimes there is value in becoming curious about what’s actually happening beneath the surface rather than continually trying harder, pushing through or becoming better at coping.

This is such an insightful conversation about burnout, emotional wellbeing, neurodivergence, self-sacrifice and what it can mean to move beyond survival mode towards greater understanding and wholeness.

Key Takeaways:

Burnout is about more than feeling tired. Pam explores some of the deeper roots and symptoms of burnout and why it’s important to understand what may be driving our exhaustion rather than simply finding new ways to push through it.

Women can become conditioned to self-sacrifice. Constantly prioritising the needs and expectations of others can come at a cost, particularly when we lose connection with our own needs in the process.

There are no “good” or “bad” emotions. Our emotions provide us with information, and learning to experience and understand them without judgement can change the way we relate to ourselves.

Pam’s Trifecta Method helps us look beneath the surface. We explore how Pam uses this framework to understand where our survival load may be showing up across the mind, body and heart.

ADHD can present differently in women and remain unrecognised until later in life. Pam shares insights into late diagnosis and what understanding your neurodivergence can mean for the way you make sense of your past and move forward.

We weren’t built simply to survive. Pam’s work and her book Not Built to Break explore what can happen when we move beyond coping and survival mode and begin addressing the deeper patterns underneath them.

About the Guest:

Pam Espin is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and Counsellor, author and founder of Beyond Purpose Therapy, a telehealth-based practice providing trauma-informed therapy to adults across NSW, Queensland, the ACT and Victoria. Pam works particularly with people who may appear capable, responsible and high-functioning on the outside while internally navigating burnout, emotional exhaustion, ADHD-related overwhelm, unresolved trauma or long-standing stress responses.

Her integrative, trauma-informed approach draws on EMDR, Schema Therapy and somatic approaches, with an emphasis on emotional safety, nervous system regulation and addressing underlying patterns rather than focusing solely on symptom management. Pam is the author of Not Built to Break: How to Stop Surviving and Lead from Wholeness and host of The Burnout Recovery Podcast. Through her therapy, writing and conversations, she encourages people to move beyond simply coping and develop a deeper understanding of the patterns keeping them in survival mode. Pam’s work is grounded in the belief that healing doesn’t come from pushing harder or performing better, but through support, understanding and creating enough safety to begin to soften.

Show Resources:

Follow Pam on Instagram: @pam_espin

Check Out Pam's Website: https://beyondpurposetherapy.com/

Learn More About Pam's Book: https://www.amazon.com.au/Not-Built-Break-surviving-wholeness/dp/1764551192

Follow Emma on Instagram: @emmalagerlow

Check Out Emma's Website: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/

If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @pam_espin.

Yours in Wholeness, Emma. X.

Have you ever reached a point where life has forced you to reconsider what really matters?

For bestselling author, award-winning keynote speaker and executive HR consultant Sophie Bretag, experiences of burnout and cancer became part of a much bigger journey of rethinking how she wanted to live, work and show up in the world. In this episode of It’s a Mindset, Sophie joins me for a deeply personal conversation about kindness, boundaries, resilience and what it means to become more of yourself — particularly as we move through midlife.

As the founder of Metta Leaders and author of The Kind Way, Sophie has spent almost two decades working in executive HR and leadership. But her understanding of kindness extends far beyond the workplace.

We talk about her own experience of burnout, her cancer journey and the lessons that came from being forced to reassess the way she was living. We also explore the many different facets of HR and its impact on people and organisations, why boundaries are an essential part of kindness, and why putting yourself at the centre of your own life isn't selfish.

One of my favourite parts of our conversation was our discussion about midlife and the permission it can give us to stop trying to be who we think we're supposed to be and instead become more of who we already are.

Sophie is genuinely one of the kindest, most vibrant, beautiful and generous souls I know. She has been a huge supporter of me and my work — something I was so grateful to hear again during this conversation — and it was wonderful to have the opportunity to learn more about her story and the experiences that have shaped the work she does today.

This is a conversation about what can happen when life asks us to slow down, reassess what matters and choose a kinder way forward — not only for the people around us, but for ourselves.

Key Episode Takeaways:

Burnout can be a powerful signal that something needs to change. Sometimes slowing down gives us the opportunity to reconsider how we want to live and what truly matters.

Kindness includes boundaries. Being a kind person doesn't mean constantly saying yes, putting everyone else first or abandoning your own needs.

Midlife can be an invitation to become more of yourself. Rather than reinventing ourselves entirely, this chapter can give us permission to embrace more of who we've always been.

Putting yourself at the centre of your life isn't inherently selfish. There are times when prioritising your own wellbeing, needs and dreams is exactly what you need to do.

HR has the potential to profoundly shape people's experience of work. Sophie shares some of the different facets of HR and why human-centric leadership matters.

Success can be measured differently. Through The Kind Way, Sophie challenges traditional ideas about performance and explores kindness as a life-changing metric for leadership, success and the human spirit.

About the Guest:

Sophie Bretag is a bestselling author, award-winning keynote speaker and executive HR consultant specialising in kindness-led, human-centric leadership. As the founder of Metta Leaders, Sophie brings almost two decades of executive HR and leadership experience working with organisations across Australia and internationally.

Drawing on both her professional expertise and her own experiences of burnout and significant health challenges, Sophie is passionate about redefining performance by placing human capacity and kindness at the centre of leadership.

Her book, The Kind Way, explores kindness as a life-changing metric for leadership, success and the human spirit, encouraging us to reconsider how we lead, work and live.

Show Resources:

Follow Sophie on Instagram: @sophiebretag

Connect with Sophie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophiebretag/

Check Out Sophie's Book, The Kind Way: https://www.mettaleaders.com/book

Follow Emma, the Podcast Host on Instagram: @emmalagerlow

Check Out Emma's Book, Worthy and Wealthy: https://www.amazon.com.au/Worthy-Wealthy-Discovering-Abundance-Fulfilment/dp/1998528022

If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @sophiebretag.

Yours in Kindness, Emma. X.

Have you ever lost sight of who you are while building a life for everyone else?

So many women spend years putting their own dreams on hold, believing there'll be time "one day". But what if it's never too late to rediscover yourself, reconnect with your creativity and have the courage to build a life that truly reflects who you are?

In this episode of It's a Mindset, I'm joined by renowned artist and fashion designer Anastasia Cairns, founder of a.nty story. Born in Indonesia and trained in fashion design in both Milan and Australia, Anastasia has created a beautiful slow fashion label that combines wearable art with a powerful mission: to empower women to embrace their individuality, strength and inner goddess.

Having known Anastasia for several years and supported part of her journey, I've had a front-row seat to the passion, courage and resilience behind a.nty story. It has been incredibly rewarding to watch her rediscover herself and transform a dream into reality through her stunning, vibrant designs. This conversation is deeply personal as we reflect on the challenges she's overcome, the lessons she's learned and the woman she's become.

Together, we explore what it means to lose yourself in a relationship, rebuild with courage, reconnect with your dreams and redefine success on your own terms. This is a heartfelt conversation about resilience, creativity and remembering that it's never too late to create a life that feels authentically yours.

Key Episode Takeaways:

How wearable art can empower women to express their individuality, strength and inner goddess.

Why losing yourself in a relationship doesn't have to define the rest of your life — and how it's possible to rebuild with courage.

How reconnecting with your creativity can help you rediscover who you truly are.

Why true success isn't measured by achievements, but by finding inner peace and having the courage to follow your dreams.

About the Guest:

Anastasia Cairns is an Indonesian-born artist and fashion designer whose work celebrates the beauty, strength and individuality of women. After studying fashion at the prestigious Istituto Marangoni in Milan and completing a Master of Design in Australia, she founded a.nty story — a slow fashion label that combines vibrant wearable art with a mission to empower women to embrace their authentic selves.

Through both her paintings and fashion collections, Anastasia inspires women to reconnect with their inner strength, celebrate their uniqueness and express themselves with confidence. Her journey of rebuilding her life, following her dreams and creating a purpose-driven business is a powerful reminder that it's never too late to rediscover yourself and create a life that feels truly aligned.

Show Resources:

Follow a.nty story on Instagram: @a.ntystory

Check Out the a.nty story Website: https://antystory.com.au/

Follow Emma, the Podcast Host on Instagram: @emmalagerlow

Learn More About Become the Butterfly: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/become-the-butterfly-coaching-program

Book Complimentary Call with Emma: https://calendly.com/hello-emmalagerlow/30mincall

If you loved this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @a.ntystory.

Yours in Empowerment, Emma. X.

Have you ever found yourself chasing happiness, believing you'll finally feel enough when you achieve the next goal, reach the next milestone or tick one more thing off your list?

I think, if we're honest, most of us have. No matter where we come from or what our story looks like, we're all searching for the same thing in one way or another — happiness, peace and a life that feels meaningful.

In this episode, I sit down with author, mindset coach and wellbeing storyteller Charu Moorjani, whose beautiful debut book, The Happiness Pathway, explores what it really means to create happiness from the inside out.

What struck me most about this conversation was just how many shared beliefs we have. From the importance of slowing down and spending time alone, to recognising that self-worth isn't found in external validation, it felt like I'd met a kindred spirit. It was one of those conversations that leaves you feeling calmer, more hopeful and inspired to make small, intentional changes in your own life.

Key episode takeaways:

Why spending time alone is one of the greatest ways to reconnect with yourself.

Simple daily rituals — like gratitude, pausing and making time for yourself — that can help cultivate lasting happiness.

The difference between happiness and fulfilment, and why living in alignment matters more than chasing the next achievement.

Why your self-worth isn't found in external validation, but in believing you're already enough.

About the Guest:

Charu Moorjani is an Australian author, mindset coach and wellbeing storyteller known for her honest memoir-style writing and grounded approach to personal growth. Her debut book, The Happiness Pathway, blends her lived experiences with practical tools to help readers rebuild their self-worth, create healthy boundaries without guilt and develop simple daily habits that cultivate lasting happiness. Every chapter includes personal stories, reflections and gentle exercises to help readers create meaningful, lasting change. Through her writing, workshops and community conversations,

Charu creates safe spaces for reflection, healing and personal growth, reminding us that happiness isn't something we find once — it's something we choose to create every day.

Show Resources:

Follow Charu on Instagram: @thehappinesspathway

Check Out Charu's Website: https://thehappinesspathway.com/

Follow Emma, the Podcast Host on Instagram: @emmalagerlow

Check Out Emma's Website: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/

If you loved this episode, I'd be so grateful if you shared it on your Instagram Stories and tagged us @emmalagerlow and @thehappinesspathway.

Your in Happiness, Emma. X.