Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

What does rock bottom really feel like? How do you find your purpose, build a life that keeps you grounded, and learn to trust that even your hardest experiences are leading you somewhere?

In this latest “Ask Me Anything” episode, Ash answers six deeply personal questions about sobriety, spirituality, friendship, marriage, purpose and the practices that continue to shape her life.

From the moment everything changed on Valentine’s Day 2020 to the words she wishes she could offer her younger self, Ash shares the truth behind who she is today, what she has learnt along the way, and why she no longer believes life is happening to her, but for her.

If you’re on your own transformation journey, or navigating the messy middle between who you were and who you’re becoming, this episode is for you.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Bali Retreat Announcement
01:13 Welcome and a Wintery Melbourne Morning
03:31 Q1: The Rock Bottom That Changed Everything
08:10 Entering Rehab and Learning to Sit with Discomfort
12:42 Finding Hope in 12-Step Recovery
15:09 Why Ash Stays Sober Today
17:31 Q2: Finding Purpose After Leaving the Corporate World
19:56 How Sobriety, Meditation, Breathwork, and Yoga Revealed Her Path
22:16 Q3: Daily Practices That Have Had the Biggest Impact
24:36 Readings, Journaling, Two-Way Prayer, and Gratitude
27:02 Movement as an Act of Self-Love
29:25 The Power of Monthly Breathwork
31:37 Q4: How Sobriety Changed Friendships, Relationships, and Marriage
33:51 Letting Go of Old Social Scenes
36:12 Building a Healthy, Sober Partnership
38:37 Q5: The Biggest Lesson Learned Through Adversity
41:01 Q6: What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?
43:29 A Letter to Little Ash

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Workshops:
The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!
Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Ash sits down with Tom Cronin, meditation teacher and international speaker, for a deeply honest conversation about what it really looks like to hold everything together on the outside while quietly falling apart within. Tom opens up about the two parallel lives he was living during his 26 years in the high pressure world of global financial markets, one of outward success, pinstripe suits, and Bondi beachside living, and another of crippling anxiety, panic attacks, chronic insomnia, depression, and a growing reliance on drugs and alcohol that eventually led to a breakdown at age 29.

It was from that rock bottom that Tom discovered Vedic meditation, a practice that not only transformed his mental health but ultimately became the foundation of an entirely new life and purpose.

Ash and Tom explore the science of stress, why alcohol numbs but never heals, and how meditation actually expands brain function rather than impairing it. Tom shares the journey from seeker to finder to sharer, including the challenges of leaving the golden handcuffs of finance behind, producing his feature film The Portal, and building his mission to inspire a billion people to meditate daily.

The conversation weaves through ego, ego transcendence, contribution, and the holistic practices Tom uses to remain grounded and performing at his best. It is a rich and wide-ranging episode about the courage it takes to change course, the intelligence of the body's warning signals, and the profound freedom that comes from finally looking inward.

Episode chapters:
00:07 Introducing Tom Cronin
04:44 Hiding Behind the Smile: Life on the Trading Room Floor
06:16 Shame, Guilt, and the North Star
11:48 The Golden Handcuffs
12:54 When Drugs and Alcohol Entered the Picture
15:53 Rock Bottom and the Rashi
18:06 The Breakdown and the Turning Point
20:09 Discovering Vedic Meditation
24:46 The Allostatic Load and Why Alcohol Does Not De-stress
28:43 Why Sobriety Supercharges Meditation
33:37 From Seeker to Finder to Sharer
35:44 Leaving Finance and Leaping into Purpose
38:08 Navigating Challenges with Meditation as a Tool
41:09 The Stillness Project and the Making of The Portal
46:45 The Importance of Service and Contribution
49:02 B1G1: Giving Back Through Business
54:05 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life

Connect with Tom:
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/stillnessproject
Website: http://www.tomcronin.com/
Tom's free book to reduce anxiety and depression https://tomcronin.com/free-calm-book/
Socials:
https://www.instagram.com/tomcronin/
https://www.facebook.com/tomcronincoach
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomcronin1/
https://www.tiktok.com/@_tomcronin_

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Workshops:
The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!
Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How much longer are you willing to suffer before something changes?
In this powerful solo episode, Ash explores a recurring theme she’s been discussing with people lately: have you truly had enough? Because whether it's alcohol, a relationship, a career, perfectionism, or an old way of thinking, lasting change rarely happens until we're willing to let go of the ideas, stories, and identities that are keeping us stuck.
Drawing on her own recovery journey, Ash speaks candidly about the gift of desperation, the stigma surrounding the word alcoholic, and why so many of us continue negotiating with our own suffering long after we've realised something isn't working. She shares what it really takes to create meaningful change and why partial willingness often keeps us trapped in the very cycles we're desperate to escape.
This conversation extends far beyond sobriety, inviting listeners to honestly examine where fear, familiarity, and old beliefs may be preventing them from stepping into a more authentic life.
Ash also reflects on celebrating her first wedding anniversary and the unexpected lessons that came from eloping in Italy, including a deeper understanding of people pleasing, self-worth, and the quiet cost of abandoning ourselves to keep others comfortable. She shares why esteemable acts are one of the most powerful ways to build genuine self-worth and how authentic relationships are forged when we stop performing for approval.
Plus, Ash leaves listeners with five thought-provoking journal prompts designed to help you uncover where you may be ready, or almost ready, to finally let go.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Bali Retreat Announcement
01:12 Life Update: A Busy Week and a Wedding Anniversary
03:31 Elopement in Italy and Lessons in People Pleasing
05:53 The Hidden Cost of Saying Yes When You Mean No
08:12 Building Self-Worth Through Esteemable Acts
10:33 Have You Had Enough?
12:53 What It Really Takes to Be Ready for Change
15:16 Breaking the Stigma Around Alcoholism
17:39 The Power of Identification and Finding Your People
19:56 Sobriety as a Superpower
22:18 The Gift of Desperation
24:26 Divine Timing and Letting Go of Old Ideas
26:48 The Difference Between Pain and Suffering
29:09 Reflective Journal Prompts to Provoke Change

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Workshops:
The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!
Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Ash welcomes back her sober soul sister Danni Carr, for a wide ranging chat on Bali, yoga, and the spiritual practices that underpin their sobriety. Danni shares the Balinese philosophy of Tri Hita Karana, the three-part connection to the divine, community, and land that keeps life in balance, and reflects on how a once reluctant relationship with yoga, born from hungover gym sessions and stormed out shavasanas, slowly became the foundation of her recovery and her sense of coming home to herself.

The conversation moves into deeper territory as Danni and Ash explore what the divine means to them now, the science behind spiritual practice and the brain, and the unexpected friendships that sobriety has made possible. Danni speaks candidly about needing daily practice not to recover but to keep expanding and staying regulated, and reminds listeners that spirituality doesn't have to be serious or precise to be powerful.

It’s a heartfelt conversation between two friends about connection, consistency, and choosing a life that feels good without needing to numb out to get there.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Reconnecting in Bali: A Spiritual Journey
03:56 The Balinese Philosophy of Trihitakarana
07:23 Cultural Immersion: Sharing Bali's Rich Heritage
11:59 The Transformative Power of Yoga
18:55 Finding Stillness: The Challenge of Shivasana
21:17 Embracing Autonomy in Yoga Practice
22:45 Finding the Right Teachers
24:07 Provoking Thought Through Stillness
25:51 Navigating Friendships in Sobriety
28:56 The Importance of Consistency in Recovery
32:27 Spirituality as a Foundation for Sobriety
34:16 Understanding the Divine
37:05 The Value of Connection and Community
37:48 Finding Joy in Spiritual Practices

You can connect with Danni through:
Check out Danni’s 4 Week Sober & Transformational Challenge
IG: @howiquitalcohol

Recommendations:
The Awakened Brain by Lisa Miller

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Workshops:
The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!
Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Ash drops in with a mini solo episode to share a life update from her recent trip to Bali and to offer something she herself has been craving - a guided meditation to help you reset. She reflects on attending the AA convention, what it’s like to travel sober after years of using airports and planes as a reason to drink, and the joy of being surrounded by like-minded people who truly understand the recovery journey. She also speaks about the not so pleasant reality of getting Bali Belly, and the lessons in surrender, self-care, and taking quick action.

For the first time on the podcast, Ash is also sharing a guided meditation. One she specifically wrote for her Behind The Smile listeners. A 10-minute guided meditation designed to bring you back to yourself, whether you’re at home, walking, or listening on the go, offering a simple way to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with what actually matters today.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Welcome, Intentions & Gratitude
00:56 Post‑Bali Life Update & Mini Solo Setup
02:10 Bali AA Convention & Joy of Sober Travel
03:11 Sunur, Ubud & Favorite Bali Rituals
05:32 Ubud Hotel Recos, Monkey Story & Bali Belly
10:11 Calling the Doctor & Reframing “What a Gift”
12:32 Coming Home Gently & Loving Life You Don’t Need a Holiday From
14:54 Returning to Meditation & Idea for a “Reset”
17:19 Guided 10‑Minute Reset Meditation
27:14 Final Reflections, Gratitude & Call to Action

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!
Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.