Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

In this solo episode, Ash reflects on a recent trip to the Gold Coast, where she spent five nights at a wellness retreat, not as a facilitator but as a guest. Away from Wi-Fi and her usual pace of life, she unpacks five lessons that surfaced in the stillness. From remembering to trust the wisdom of her body, to rereading an old favourite book and discovering how much she herself had changed, there were plenty of downloads she wanted to share.

Ash also discusses the importance of balancing mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health rather than over focusing on just one or two, and how you can achieve this without creating more overwhelm. This is a reflective, practical episode about what it looks like to actually slow down, listen inward, and trust the shifts that quietly ask to be made.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Retreat Announcement
01:13 Coming Back From Eden Retreat
03:38 A Life of Bookends: Regulated Mornings, Full Steam Days
08:18 Choosing Your Own Adventure at Eden
10:39 Trusting the Body Over the Aura Ring
15:09 The Nervous System Check and the 99th Percentile Surprise
17:23 Hearing the Whisper to Step Back From Teaching
21:59 Saying Yes and Watching Life Respond
24:12 Rereading The Untethered Soul Years Later
28:53 Releasing a Resentment Through Energy, Not Defense
31:10 The Joy of Talking to Strangers
33:32 The Four Pillars of Health
43:01 A New Offering Coming in January

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Retreats
The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More
The Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out More
Courage To Heal: Childhood Trauma Retreat | June 14 - 21, 2027
Email hello@ashbutterss.com for more information
A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027
Email hello@ashbutterss.com for more information

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Ash sits down with Dave McGrath, a 47 year old carpenter and father who recently celebrated three years of sobriety. For a period of about nine months before rehab, Dave was living out of his car, seeing his daughter once every month or two, and losing himself completely to what he calls the alcoholic insanity. His rock bottom came in a friend's garage, staring at an extension ladder and a rope, before something in him snapped awake enough to call a rehab.

In this raw and honest conversation, Dave takes Ash through the chaos of early sobriety attempts that did not stick, the shame of losing contact with his family and his daughter, and the strangers along the way who quietly helped him find his footing, including a chance encounter on a footpath that led him to treatment. He also opens up about an unexpected and profound spiritual awakening in a church that changed the course of his recovery, and what it has taken to rebuild trust with the people he hurt along the way. This is a story about hope, redemption and never giving up.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Introducing Dave McGrath
03:21 The Photo: A Visitation Day With His Daughter
04:16 The Unmanageability of Alcoholic Insanity
05:55 The First Drink as a Child
09:30 Hating Who He Saw in the Mirror
10:41 The Craving He Could Never Control
15:14 Failed Attempts and Dry Spells
18:52 Cold Water Plunges at 2am
19:33 Rock Bottom: The Rope in the Garage
21:31 A Stranger on the Street Who Showed Him the Way
23:21 A Daughter Waiting at the Window
26:03 From Dry Drunk to Actually Working the Program
44:51 A Spiritual Awakening at Church
47:57 Daily Conscious Contact and Letting Go of Rage
50:21 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life
Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.
Upcoming Retreats
The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More
The Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out More
A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027
Email hello@ashbutterss.com for more information

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest this week is Megan Ashton, founder of Unity Breathwork and a leading voice for raising safety standards in the breathwork industry. Megan spent most of her adult life escaping herself, first through alcohol and bulimia as a teenager, then later through constant travel that let her outrun her feelings entirely. It took a devastating breakup, and a breathwork session in Bali, for her to finally crack open decades of unprocessed grief, so that she could start the long journey of finding a way back to herself.

In this conversation, Megan and Ash unpack what conscious connected breathwork actually is, why it so often brings up trauma the body has been holding for years, and what it means to build a practice around genuine safety rather than chasing catharsis. Megan speaks candidly about the childhood wounds that shaped her patterns of numbing, the importance of proper preparation and integration when facilitating breathwork, and her mission to make this kind of healing as accessible and understood as yoga. This conversation invites you to think about acknowledging the feelings you’ve spent a lifetime avoiding.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Introducing Megan Ashton
05:24 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile in Nicaragua
07:32 Travel as an Escape Strategy
09:33 A Sensitive Childhood and the First Time She Numbed Out
11:17 The Slow Slide Into Bulimia
12:59 The Breakup That Broke Everything Open
19:57 Trying Everything Before Breathwork
20:27 The Bali Session That Changed Her Life
22:17 Discovering Her Mission in Conscious Connected Breathwork
24:07 What Conscious Connected Breathwork Actually Is
27:08 A Year of Crying: What Processing Really Looks Like
28:07 Letting Go of Expectations in the Practice
00:18 Why Safety in Breathwork Matters So Much
02:28 The Risk of Retraumatisation Without Proper Preparation
04:33 Grounding and Integration After a Session
18:11 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life

Connect with Megan through the links below:
Website: (https://unitybreathwork.com/)
Breathwork Facilitator Training page: (https://unitybreathwork.com/breathwork-facilitator-training/)
Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/unitybreathwork/)
Retreats:(https://unitybreathwork.com/breathwork-retreat/)

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Retreats
The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More
The Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out More
A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027
Email hello@ashbutterss.com for more information.

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest this week is Tully Johns, a Melbourne based health coach who spent close to fifteen years working as a zookeeper before turning to helping people. For most of three decades, Tully carried the effects of childhood sexual abuse without a name for it, showing up instead as depression, anxiety, and eventually a PTSD diagnosis. It was only in his forties, after his brother came forward with his own memories and pursued a case against their father, that Tully began to understand what he himself had survived.

In this conversation, Tully shares what it was like to process decades of trauma later in life, the stretch of days he could not get out of bed that became his turning point, and the small, unglamorous practices that slowly rebuilt his life from the ground up. He and Ash talk about connection, letting people in, and what it means to parent well after having none of that modelled for you. This is a tender and deeply honest conversation about healing on your own timeline and choosing, every day, not to be defined by what happened to you.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of child sexual abuse, please listen with care. Support services have been included in the episode show notes.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Introducing Tully Johns
06:33 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile
07:00 Discovering the Abuse: A Four Year Old's Burden
14:11 His Brother's Case and the Public Fallout
18:13 Forty Years to Process What Happened
26:03 Finding Escape and Purpose Through Animals
32:05 The Catabasis: Hitting a Wall as a Stay at Home Dad
36:17 The Fake Smile That Started the Rebuild
38:16 One Word Journaling and Small Daily Wins
40:58 Movement as Medicine
45:57 Self Compassion Alongside Discipline
49:06 Reparenting the Four Year Old Within
53:01 Why Connection Changes Everything
01:00:40 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life

Connect with Tully using the links below:

Rebuild Body & Mind with Tully: https://www.skool.com/rebuild-with-tully-5411/about
tullyjohns.com
Recovering From Childhood Trauma - How I got my life back: https://youtu.be/r0BwXJvU59Q
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tullyjohns/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61581593417290
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@tullyjohns

Support Services
If this episode has brought anything up for you, support is available:

Blue Knot Helpline provides specialist support for adult survivors of childhood trauma and abuse. Call 1300 657 380.
1800RESPECT provides free, confidential counselling and support for anyone impacted by sexual violence. Call 1800 737 732 or text 0458 737 732, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Bravehearts provides information and support relating specifically to child sexual abuse. Call 1800 272 831, Monday to Friday, 8:30am to 4:30pm AEST.
Lifeline provides crisis support 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Call 13 11 14.

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Retreats
The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More

A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027
Email hello@ashbutterss.com for more information

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest this week is Suzi Raleigh, a recovery advocate and budding author who is now 32 years sober. Suzi started drinking at 13, was misdiagnosed for years with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and survived multiple psychiatric hospitalisations and several near death experiences before her father encouraged her to try 12 Step Recovery in 1993. She has not had a drink since.

In this conversation, Suzi shares what it was like to live with a loneliness she calls the ache, the moment her drinking finally stopped being explained away by mental illness, and how discovering codependency twelve years into sobriety changed the entire trajectory of her recovery. She and Ash explore what it really means to be a recovering rescuer, the boundaries work that continues decades in, and the unique approach Suzi now teaches through her upcoming book, naming, taming and nurturing the different inner personalities that drive addiction and codependency. It is a warm, funny and wise conversation about what it looks like to keep growing long after the drinking stops.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Introducing Suzi Raleigh
06:09 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile
07:25 Growing Up in a Pub and the First Drink at Thirteen
10:19 The Ache: Naming the Loneliness Underneath
12:04 The First Hospitalisation and Years of Misdiagnosis
23:04 Her Father's Suggestion and the First AA Meeting
25:01 What the First Twelve Months of Sobriety Looked Like
27:06 Becoming a Recovering Rescuer
28:48 Discovering Codependency at Twelve Years Sober
30:11 High Functioning Codependency and the Auto-Fix Reflex
37:21 Marrying a Man Twenty Years Sober and Growing Together
42:57 Naming the Inner Characters: Suzy the Floozy and Beyond
01:00:39 Reclaiming Little Tootie and Becoming Her Own Best Friend
01:05:25 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life

You can connect with Suzi on her Tik Tok or reach out via email - suzilr6@gmail.com

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Retreats
The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More

A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027
Email hello@ashbutterss.com for more information

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

Support Services
If this conversation has brought anything up for you, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is always available. You can reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support and guidance, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for free counselling.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.