Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

• Ep 152. Surviving the Silly Season Sober (and enjoying it!) with Abby Calabrese

  In the heart of New York City, Abby Calabrese was living the dream on paper but the reality was she was quietly unravelling behind the scenes. Long days, late nights, and a culture steeped in drinking turned alcohol into her go-to coping mechanism, even as the cost to her wellbeing grew harder to ignore.In this episode, Abby shares how walking away from alcohol became the catalyst for a complete identity shift and the creation of Alcohol Free Rebellion, a movement dedicated to helping others question the role alcohol plays in their lives. Ash and Abby dive into the awkwardness of social events without a drink in hand, the emotional honesty that sobriety demands, and how choosing not to numb out can radically transform relationships and self-worth.Abby offers practical guidance for facing triggers, especially during the holidays, while staying anchored in intention, community, and self-compassion. She speaks to the power of mindfulness in strengthening intuition and making choices that truly align with who you are. At the heart of her story are the non-negotiables she now lives by: authenticity, emotional awareness, and unwavering self-care as the foundation of a full, meaningful, alcohol-free life.Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Abby Calabrese and Her Journey02:53 Navigating Life After Alcohol05:45 The Challenge of Socializing Sober08:29 Understanding Emotions and Feelings11:34 Shifting Perspectives on Life14:20 The Impact of Alcohol on Relationships17:25 Hiding Behind a Smile: Abby's Photo Story20:02 Recognizing Rock Bottoms and Justifications22:48 The Roots of Abby's Drinking History24:19 The Role of Alcohol in Socialization29:29 Recognizing the Problem32:21 The Turning Point37:24 The Challenge of Sobriety38:44 Shame and Stigma in Motherhood43:59 Transforming Relationships in Sobriety45:46 Embracing Authenticity in Relationships47:22 Navigating Sobriety During the Holidays49:16 Practical Tips for Alcohol-Free Celebrations53:40 Listening to Your Intuition56:50 Cultivating Mindfulness and Self-Awareness01:02:36 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling LifeFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026Tickets available here. A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

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• Ep 151. From the Streets of London to a Quiet Sober Life, with Damo H

  Growing up on the streets of London, Damo H learned at an early age how to outrun pain, but it always caught up. In this candid and moving episode, Damo traces his journey through childhood trauma, the shadow of addiction, and the relentless pursuit of healing.He recounts how alcohol first became his refuge, how physical injury and prescription medication complicated his path, and how new beginnings in Australia brought a new set of challenges. The rock bottoms came again and again, each one forcing him to confront the reality of his disease.Through service, community, and the support of a 12-step program, Damo found answers that went deeper than sobriety. He shares how recovery reshaped his family, revived his passion for photography, and gave him a sense of purpose. With honesty and hope, Damo reveals what it means to rebuild life from the ground up, and how after years of struggle, he’s learning to embrace happiness, gratitude, and authentic connection.Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction and Letting Go Ritual00:51 Meet Damo H: A Journey Begins02:57 Daily Life and Recovery Practices05:59 The Role of Service in Recovery08:47 Childhood and Family Dynamics12:01 The First Drink: A Turning Point14:55 Growing Up in London: The Streets and Gangs18:11 The Impact of Alcoholism on Relationships20:50 Moving to Australia: New Beginnings24:09 Career and Alcoholism: A Fragile Balance27:08 Rehab and the Road to Sobriety30:00 Family Tragedies and Resilience32:04 Reflections on Sobriety and Happiness36:24 The Slippery Slope of Addiction39:54 The Return to Alcohol46:11 Rock Bottoms and Revelations50:40 A New Approach to Sobriety01:01:30 Building a New Life in Sobriety01:07:20 Non-Negotiables for a Happy LifeFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:The Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026Tickets available here. A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

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• Ep 150. The Real Reason You Don’t Feel Enough: How Facing Your Inner Critic Is the Key to Self Acceptance, with Ash Butterss

  In this milestone 150th episode of Behind The Smile, Ash dives into a deeply personal conversation about healing, self perception, and the ever evolving journey of coming home to yourself. She unpacks the relationship between the inner critic, body image, and the way we move through the world, both physically and emotionally.Through honest reflection and lived experience, Ash explores the quiet conditions we place on our own worth and the tender work of learning to accept ourselves as we are, not as we think we should be. This episode is an invitation to look beneath the surface, to recognise how far you have already come, and to remember that growth is not a finish line, it is a lifelong practice.If you have ever battled your inner critic, questioned your worth, or felt the pull to redefine your relationship with yourself, this one will meet you right where you are.Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comThe Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026Tuesday 30th December, 2025 Tickets available here. A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026Tickets available here. The Embodied Woman Retreat - Gold Coast Hinterland May 14th - 17th, 2026 (3 nights, 4 days)All the details here. Join Ash on retreat in Bali in 2026! Rest & Renew Holistic Bali RetreatAugust 17th - 21st, 2026 (4 nights, 5 days)Click here for all the details!Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

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• Ep 149. The Shame That Nearly Broke Her Became Her Purpose, with Sober Coach Shannon Leigh Mccabe

  For Shannon McCabe, hitting rock bottom became the beginning of everything. Once living a life that looked “fine” on the outside yet was quietly ruled by addiction, Shannon, a sober coach and transformation mentor, opens up about the raw truth of her journey through alcohol dependency and the deep healing that followed.In this powerful conversation, Ash and Shannon explore the emotional unraveling that precedes real change, the spiritual awakening that came through surrender, and the daily rituals that now anchor her sobriety. Shannon speaks honestly about motherhood and the challenges that come with caring for a child with special needs. The shame she battled on a daily basis through her addiction. Rediscovering self-worth, and showing how setting boundaries and embracing community became her path to peace.This episode is a reminder that recovery isn’t about who you were, it’s about who you’re becoming.Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction to Shannon's Journey02:05 A Day in the Life of a Sober Mom04:48 The Importance of Morning Routines06:50 Devotional Practices and Spirituality13:46 Behind the Smile: A Photo Reflection21:40 The Progression of Alcohol Use31:41 Moments of Clarity and Rock Bottoms37:43 The All-or-Nothing Mindset44:45 Non-Negotiables for a Sober Life53:19 Navigating Relapses and Setbacks58:42 Living Authentically and FreeYou can connect with Shannon using the links below:Website: www.shannonleighmccabe.comIG @shannonleighmccabeFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comThe Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in Bali in  2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026. Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

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• Ep 148. Beyond Codependency: The Truth About Self-Worth and Healing with Psychotherapist Jackson Goding

  What happens when self-worth becomes the missing piece in healing? In this episode, Ash sits down with Trauma Specialist and Psychotherapist, Jackson Goding, for a raw and thought-provoking conversation about what it really takes to recover, grow, and build authentic connection.Jackson opens up about his own journey through codependency, the reality of doing deep trauma work, and why self-worth sits at the heart of true healing. Together, they explore the often messy path of relationships, meditation, and emotional regulation, unravelling why personal growth is rarely linear and almost never easy.This episode goes far beyond the surface of “self-care.” It’s about courage, consistency, and the daily non-negotiables that help us return to ourselves again and again. Expect honesty, humour, and plenty of takeaways to help you nurture your own sense of worth and connection.Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction to Jackson Goding and His Work02:45 Living in Sydney and Future Plans05:33 Daily Life and Mindfulness Practices08:31 The Challenge of Powerlessness and Surrender11:14 Meditation: The Struggle and Its Importance14:04 Hiding Behind a Smile: Personal Struggles17:00 Relationships as Mirrors for Personal Growth19:40 The Complexity of Relationships and Recovery22:21 The Journey to Becoming a Therapist24:59 Core Beliefs and Their Impact on Identity31:02 Navigating Shame and Self-Worth31:46 Understanding Triggers and Responses33:07 Effective Communication in Relationships35:06 The Impact of Past Experiences36:53 Identifying and Expressing Needs39:59 The Importance of Boundaries41:36 Self-Accountability and Inner Child Work44:24 Defining Codependency48:10 The Challenges of Recovery from Codependency52:57 Staying Accountable in Relationships56:12 Establishing Non-Negotiables for Self-Care01:02:26 Finding Balance in RelationshipsYou can connect with Jackson via the below channels:It Ends With Us Retreat:  https://findreasontherapy.com.au/it-ends-with-us/ IG @findreasontherapy  https://www.instagram.com/findreasontherapy/ Before you do more work:  https://app.heartbeat.chat/findreason/courses/c/e7acf2c4-df05-4546-8b6c-092d8363fa2aFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comThe Letting Go Ritual: Breathwork, Yin, and Intention Setting for 2026Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in Bali in  2026! All the details can be found at https://www.ashbutterss.com/bali-retreat-2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

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