Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

My guest this week is Mark Purser, a yoga teacher, meditation guide, and founder of the Yogic Meditation Institute, based in Byron Bay. With over 20 years of study across almost every major yoga tradition, Mark brings a rare depth of knowledge to his teaching. But behind all of that wisdom is a story of years spent swinging between intense spiritual practice and alcohol, trying to find a way out that didn't involve fully surrendering.

In this conversation, Mark shares the moment his last drink became his last, alone in a national park on his birthday with no phone reception and a choice to make. He and Ash explore the relationship between yoga philosophy and 12-step recovery, the power of stillness as a daily practice, and why Yoga Nidra remains the one tool he would never give up. This is a conversation for anyone looking to understand what it really takes to build a life rooted in meaning, community, and presence.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Introducing Mark Purser
03:29 Life in Byron Bay: Surfing, Tango, and Sadhana
07:04 How Tango Became a Moving Meditation
10:00 Scent of a Woman and the Seed That Was Planted
12:07 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile in Byron Bay
15:15 Yoga Without the Inner Work
18:31 The Tango Class, the Pub, and the Night It All Unravelled
21:28 Being a Dad and the Shame of a Blackout
26:29 The Last Drink: Alone in the Bush on His Birthday
29:44 Choosing Sydney Over the Pub
31:49 The Balance Between Horror and Hope
33:05 A Cousin 35 Years Sober and the Power of Living Proof
35:29 Why Ash Resisted AA and What Changed
37:13 The Gift of Desperation
45:00 Where Yoga Philosophy and the 12 Steps Meet
51:48 Why He Still Needs Help After 15 Years
53:44 The Stillness Practice and Why It Changes Everything
57:45 Yoga Nidra: The One Tool He Would Never Give Up
59:39 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life

Connect with Mark below:
www.bambooyogabyron.com
Instagram
Podcast: The Gentle Revolution

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Workshops:
The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Getting sober gave Alexandra McRobert more than freedom from alcohol, it gave her the clarity to explore who she truly was. Despite having dated men and previously being married to a man, it was during a deep meditation that Alex came to the life changing realisation that she was a lesbian.

Alexandra is a yoga teacher, author, and founder of the Mindful Life Practice and Mindful Bali Yoga School. She got sober in 2019 after years of drinking her way through life in the Middle East, where securing her next drink had quietly become the centre of everything she did.

In this conversation, Alexandra shares how sobriety created space for her sexuality to unfold, the assault that cracked her life open and propelled her to build the yoga shala she had always dreamed of, and why she created the sober community she wished had existed when she needed it most.

Alexandra and Ash also explore the profound overlap between yoga philosophy and the 12 Steps, and what becomes possible when you stop numbing long enough to hear the truth of who you are.

TW: This episode contains discussion of assault.

Episode chapters:

00:00 Introducing Alexandra McRobert
03:09 Life in Ubud: Yoga, Pilates and Kirtan
04:34 How Bali Called Her In
06:19 A Marriage That Lasted Two Months
09:08 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile in Morocco
11:42 When Alcohol Consumes Everything
13:08 The Rock Bottom in a Classroom in Abu Dhabi
16:12 Deciding to Get Sober on the Plane Home
18:00 Getting Sober Without Traditional 12-Step Access
19:54 Finding Community Through an Online Sobriety Group
22:35 How COVID Gave Birth to Sober Girls Yoga
24:02 Why Yoga and Sobriety Are the Same Thing
26:23 The Yoga Sutras and the 12 Steps
28:19 Ahimsa and Satya: Love Everyone and Tell the Truth
30:07 Building a Life and a Business in Bali
32:00 Being Drugged and Assaulted: The Turning Point
34:33 Building the Shala and Starting Kirtan
36:11 Trusting the Universe Over the Plan
38:19 How Alcohol Shaped Her Relationships and Marriage
40:19 Coming Out as Queer
43:11 The Vipassana That Changed Everything
51:48 Kirtan, Meditation, and Moving Through Self-Hatred
55:45 Craniosacral Therapy and What the Body Holds
58:01 What Daily Life Rooted in Presence Looks Like
01:02:13 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life

Connect with Alexandra below:
Check out Alexandra’s Substack here.

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Workshops:
The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!
Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest this week, Shannan Walsh, lived in the grip of addiction for 18 years. It took her from alcohol and drugs to crime, prison, homelessness and a relationship that nearly cost her life. Eventually, she reached a point where there was nowhere left to run.

In this raw conversation, Shannan shares what it took to survive, get sober and rebuild her life from the ground up. She speaks about motherhood, violence, shame, spirituality and the slow work of learning to trust herself again.

Shannan’s story is confronting, but it is also a hopeful reminder that recovery is possible.

TW: This episode contains discussion of family violence and suicide.

Episode chapters:

00:00 Introducing Shannan Walsh
03:23 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile
04:39 A Life Built Around the Drink
07:06 What Shannon Was Like Before Alcohol
08:05 Early Depression and the Hole in the Soul
09:51 When Drugs Entered the Picture
11:00 Ecstasy, Meth, and the Escalation of Addiction
13:22 Crime, Violence, and Running on Rage
18:07 Where Did That Anger Come From?
18:34 Withdrawal, Seizures, and Drinking Against Her Will
20:07 Coming Out of Prison and Falling Pregnant
22:08 Trying to Do the Normal Thing
27:46 The Rock Bottom That Changed Everything
29:59 The Day Intuition Saved Her Children's Lives
33:22 The Attempted Attack and the Fire
35:32 Homeless, in Court, and Holding It Together
39:22 The Verdict and the Aftermath
41:15 The Spiritual Awakening That Cracked Her Open
43:51 Morning Routines, Journaling, and the Small Things That Built Her Back
45:00 12 Step Meetings, Sober Apps, and Finding Community
47:02 Studying Addiction and Training to Be a Counselor
47:55 Navigating Cravings Through Strength Training and Presence
50:52 Sitting with the Discomfort of Sobriety
56:05 Feeling Behind and Finding Her Place
57:20 How the Embodied Woman Retreat Restored Her Faith in Women
59:16 Spiritual Practices That Keep Her Connected
01:02:03 Learning to Pray and Finding a Higher Power
01:04:13 Emotional Regulation and the Biggest Shift of All
01:06:00 Self-Esteem, Self-Love, and the Journey Home
01:07:00 The Gift of Being Present with Her Children
01:10:21 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shannantayla/

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Workshops:
The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!
Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does rock bottom really feel like? How do you find your purpose, build a life that keeps you grounded, and learn to trust that even your hardest experiences are leading you somewhere?

In this latest “Ask Me Anything” episode, Ash answers six deeply personal questions about sobriety, spirituality, friendship, marriage, purpose and the practices that continue to shape her life.

From the moment everything changed on Valentine’s Day 2020 to the words she wishes she could offer her younger self, Ash shares the truth behind who she is today, what she has learnt along the way, and why she no longer believes life is happening to her, but for her.

If you’re on your own transformation journey, or navigating the messy middle between who you were and who you’re becoming, this episode is for you.

Episode chapters:
00:00 Bali Retreat Announcement
01:13 Welcome and a Wintery Melbourne Morning
03:31 Q1: The Rock Bottom That Changed Everything
08:10 Entering Rehab and Learning to Sit with Discomfort
12:42 Finding Hope in 12-Step Recovery
15:09 Why Ash Stays Sober Today
17:31 Q2: Finding Purpose After Leaving the Corporate World
19:56 How Sobriety, Meditation, Breathwork, and Yoga Revealed Her Path
22:16 Q3: Daily Practices That Have Had the Biggest Impact
24:36 Readings, Journaling, Two-Way Prayer, and Gratitude
27:02 Movement as an Act of Self-Love
29:25 The Power of Monthly Breathwork
31:37 Q4: How Sobriety Changed Friendships, Relationships, and Marriage
33:51 Letting Go of Old Social Scenes
36:12 Building a Healthy, Sober Partnership
38:37 Q5: The Biggest Lesson Learned Through Adversity
41:01 Q6: What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?
43:29 A Letter to Little Ash

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Workshops:
The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!
Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Ash sits down with Tom Cronin, meditation teacher and international speaker, for a deeply honest conversation about what it really looks like to hold everything together on the outside while quietly falling apart within. Tom opens up about the two parallel lives he was living during his 26 years in the high pressure world of global financial markets, one of outward success, pinstripe suits, and Bondi beachside living, and another of crippling anxiety, panic attacks, chronic insomnia, depression, and a growing reliance on drugs and alcohol that eventually led to a breakdown at age 29.

It was from that rock bottom that Tom discovered Vedic meditation, a practice that not only transformed his mental health but ultimately became the foundation of an entirely new life and purpose.

Ash and Tom explore the science of stress, why alcohol numbs but never heals, and how meditation actually expands brain function rather than impairing it. Tom shares the journey from seeker to finder to sharer, including the challenges of leaving the golden handcuffs of finance behind, producing his feature film The Portal, and building his mission to inspire a billion people to meditate daily.

The conversation weaves through ego, ego transcendence, contribution, and the holistic practices Tom uses to remain grounded and performing at his best. It is a rich and wide-ranging episode about the courage it takes to change course, the intelligence of the body's warning signals, and the profound freedom that comes from finally looking inward.

Episode chapters:
00:07 Introducing Tom Cronin
04:44 Hiding Behind the Smile: Life on the Trading Room Floor
06:16 Shame, Guilt, and the North Star
11:48 The Golden Handcuffs
12:54 When Drugs and Alcohol Entered the Picture
15:53 Rock Bottom and the Rashi
18:06 The Breakdown and the Turning Point
20:09 Discovering Vedic Meditation
24:46 The Allostatic Load and Why Alcohol Does Not De-stress
28:43 Why Sobriety Supercharges Meditation
33:37 From Seeker to Finder to Sharer
35:44 Leaving Finance and Leaping into Purpose
38:08 Navigating Challenges with Meditation as a Tool
41:09 The Stillness Project and the Making of The Portal
46:45 The Importance of Service and Contribution
49:02 B1G1: Giving Back Through Business
54:05 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life

Connect with Tom:
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/stillnessproject
Website: http://www.tomcronin.com/
Tom's free book to reduce anxiety and depression https://tomcronin.com/free-calm-book/
Socials:
https://www.instagram.com/tomcronin/
https://www.facebook.com/tomcronincoach
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomcronin1/
https://www.tiktok.com/@_tomcronin_

Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.

Upcoming Workshops:
The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here

Join Ash on retreat in 2026!
Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026

Follow and connect with Ash on:
⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterss
TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb
Website⁠ www.ashbutterss.com
Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.