Ready To Be Real by Síle Seoige

Topics covered: Conscious parenting, raising daughters and sons, childhood conditioning, patriarchy, people-pleasing, strong-willed girls, self-worth, body image, modelling, boundaries, boys' emotional regulation, movement, masculinity, sexuality, pornography, online safety, social media, algorithms, the wellness industry, the psychology of more, connection and presence.

My guest this week is (pinch me!) Dr. Shefali, a clinical psychologist, internationally recognised parenting expert and bestselling author whose work I've admired for many years. I was absolutely delighted to meet her in Ireland when she was here last week.

Originally from Mumbai, India, she moved to the US at 21 and is now based in New York. She is mother to 23-year-old Maia and author of nine books, including The Conscious Parent (2010).
Her latest books, Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons, explore childhood in a world shaped by technology and social media.
And as a mother of a son and daughter, this conversation resonated deeply with me.
We begin talking about conscious parenting: understanding our own conditioning and triggers rather than trying to control who our children become.

With daughters, we explore the pressure to be "good girls", to please others and to silence their authentic voices. Dr. Shefali talks about raising our "dragons" - strong-willed girls who know their own minds - and why nurturing that independence is so valuable. We discuss self-worth, boundaries, body image and positive modelling.

Then we turn to ​raising sons. Dr. Shefali discusses boys' need for movement and physical outlets, what happens when their feelings and energy are shamed, and how we help them develop into emotionally healthy men. We talk about sexuality, consent and pornography, and why parents must begin age-appropriate conversations before the internet does it for them.

We also discuss the "psychology of more", the business of wellness and the pressure to keep improving ourselves.
Above all, this conversation is a reminder that it's never too late to change, show up and reconnect with our kids.

DR. SHEFALI - BOOKS AND COURSES

Website and books: https://www.drshefali.com
Courses: https://courses.drshefali.com
Instagram: @doctorshefali

The Talk 3.0 - masterclasses on consent, pornography and digital culture (29-30 October; replays included): https://courses.drshefali.com/thetalk

Conscious Parenting & Life Coach certification: https://coaching.drshefali.com
C​onscious Coaching Institute discount code: $500OFF

SPECIAL THANKS

To Jacqueline Kyne and the Kyne Foundation for helping to bring Dr. Shefali to Ireland and making this conversation possible.
https://www.kynefoundation.org

Other episodes worth listening to on Ready to be Real :

Richard Hogan - Adolescence: Preteen and Teenager
Mick Moran - Protecting Our Children Online

USEFUL RESOURCES FOR PARENTS

CyberSafeKids - Irish online safety education and advice: https://www.cybersafekids.ie
Smartphone Free Childhood Ireland - helping families delay smartphones and social media: https://smartphonefree.ie

If this resonates, please share it with another parent.
And thanks, as always, for supporting Ready to Be Real.
Go raibh míle maith agaibh!
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How often do we push ourselves to the point of exhaustion, trying to do everything and keep everyone happy?

For this week's Real Take, I'm dipping into the Ready to Be Real archive to revisit a conversation I had with the brilliant midlife coach Alana Kirk back in April 2024.
In this short extract, Alana shares a powerful example of how setting boundaries and making small changes can make a huge difference, not just to our own wellbeing, but to family life too.
She also shares some wonderfully practical advice about knowing when to choose our sanity over our standards!

This conversation really resonated with listeners when it first came out, and revisiting it reminded me just how much wisdom Alana has to offer.
We've actually recorded three conversations together, and I'd highly recommend all three.

Listen to the full conversations:

Alana Kirk: Midlife Coach - April 2024
Our first conversation, where Alana shares her personal story, the challenges and changes she's experienced, and some wonderful insights into navigating midlife.

Alana Kirk: The Practical, Invisible and Emotional Load - February 2025
A really important discussion about the invisible responsibilities women carry, overwhelm, expectations and how we can begin to change things.

Alana Kirk: Friendships and Fun, Why They're Important! - March 2025
A gorgeous reminder of the importance of friendship, connection, making time for ourselves and having fun!

A little note: Our first conversation was originally recorded in April 2024. During our chat, Alana speaks about caring for her father, who sadly passed away since we recorded. I just wanted to acknowledge that as we revisit this conversation.

Connect with Alana:
Website: https://www.alanakirk.com
Instagram: @midlifecoach

If this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear it.
Thanks, as always, for listening and for your support.
Go raibh míle maith agaibh!
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Topics covered: Family, childhood, emigration, love, fatherhood, masculinity, patriarchy, Palestine, empathy, apathy, humanity, community, collective action, LSD, anxiety, panic attacks, creativity and music.

This week I'm joined by singer-songwriter, author and actor Declan O'Rourke.

Originally from Ballyfermot in Dublin, Declan grew up with his parents and three siblings. He spent part of his childhood in Australia, where the family lived for four years before returning to Ireland. By the time he turned 30, he had moved an incredible 27 times. Now 50, he's called Kinvara, County Galway, home for almost 20 years, with a special connection to the area ​on his mother's side.

Family is central to his life​ and is a proud Dad to two sons: Jonah is 20 and Londubh is 8.

In this conversation he recalls his three-day wedding celebration on Inishbofin with his wife Eime​ar.
We explore what masculinity means to him, the expectations placed on men and the importance of challenging harmful patriarchal attitudes. Having experienced life as an immigrant, he reflects on the importance of empathy and our shared humanity. We discuss his longstanding support for Palestine, his frustration with apathy and his belief in the power of communities coming together.

​He also opens up about a frightening LSD (acid) experience at 19 and the years of fear, anxiety and panic attacks that followed. He explains why he kept his struggles to himself and how he eventually came to understand what was happening.

We talk about his eighth studio album, Oceanic, out now and recorded in Sydney, Australia. We also touch on his music and novels exploring the Great Irish Famine, and his acting role in Almost With You.

A self-confessed introvert, Declan loves the ​simple life: family, ​a bit of DIY, his dog, cat and chickens​ and he also dream​s of spending more time in Italy.

MORE FROM DECLAN

Music, Oceanic and tour dates: https://declanorourke.com

His work on the Great Irish Famine:
- Chronicles of the Great Irish Famine (2017) - album
- The Pawnbroker's Reward (2021) - novel
- A Whisper from Oblivion (2023) - novel

Film: Almost With You (2026) - https://almostwithyou.com

Book mentioned: Essential Help for Your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes, which Declan found helpful in understanding anxiety and panic attacks.

CONTENT NOTE & SUPPORT

This conversation discusses LSD (acid), a distressing drug experience, anxiety and panic attacks. Declan's experience of coping alone is personal to him and is not advice to manage mental health difficulties without help. If anything resonates or feels distressing, please speak to your GP or a qualified mental health professional. Support is available:

- HSE Your Mental Health: https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/ | 1800 111 888 (24/7 information line)
- Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/ireland/ | 116 123 (24/7)
- Text About It: text HELLO to 50808 (24/7)
- HSE Drugs and Alcohol Helpline: 1800 459 459 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-5.30pm)

You don't have to go through difficult times alone.
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Topics covered: Adolescence, preteens, parenting, boundaries, connection, communication, friendships, resilience, smartphones, internet access, childhood development and growing independence.

For this week's Real Take, I'm dipping into the Ready to Be Real archive and sharing an extract from a conversation I had with psychotherapist Richard Hogan in April 2025.
Richard specialises in working with families and is the author of two brilliant books, Parenting the Screenager and Home Is Where the Start Is. He's also a father of three daughters, so he brings both his professional knowledge and personal experience to the conversation.
As a Mom of a nine-year-old boy and an almost five-year-old girl, this is a subject that's very close to my heart. So far, we've managed to avoid introducing personal smart devices (to our kids!) in our home, but I'm very conscious that there are challenges ahead as our children get older.

In this extract, Richard talks about adolescence, the changes children experience as they grow, and the importance of maintaining a strong connection with them through those years.
He explains why boundaries are so important, shares some lovely personal stories about parenting his own daughters, and talks about helping children navigate friendships and the inevitable challenges of growing up.
One of the things that really stayed with me was his advice around encouraging children to have wide friendship circles and plenty of interests and activities outside the online world. It's such an important reminder of the value of real-world connection and giving our children a strong foundation as they grow.
Following on from my recent conversation with Mick Moran of Hotline.ie about protecting our children online, I thought this was a particularly relevant conversation to revisit.

Listen to the full conversation
Richard Hogan: Adolescence – Preteen and Teenager (April 2025)
In the full conversation, we explore adolescence and the preteen years in much greater detail, including communication, parenting boundaries, friendships, healthy habits, masculinity, online influences, pornography and the importance of creating a safe and supportive home environment.

Also highly recommended
Mick Moran: Protecting Our Children Online (October 2026)

More conversations from the Ready to Be Real archive
Richard Hogan: Anxiety in Kids and Teenagers (January 2024)
Debbie Cullinane: Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist (March 2024)

Useful resources for parents

CyberSafeKids
An Irish charity offering research, education and practical advice to help children and parents navigate the online world more safely.
https://www.cybersafekids.ie

Smartphone Free Childhood Ireland
A parent-led movement supporting families and school communities who want to delay access to smartphones and social media.
https://smartphonefree.ie

Webwise
Ireland's online safety awareness centre, offering information and advice for parents, teachers and young people.
https://www.webwise.ie

If you found this conversation useful, please consider sharing it with another parent or someone who might benefit from hearing it.
And if you're enjoying Ready to Be Real, following the podcast and leaving a rating or review really helps.

Thanks so much, as always, for listening and for your support.
Go raibh míle maith agaibh!
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Topics covered: Online safety, childhood, parenting, smartphones, social media, gaming, Roblox, algorithms, manipulation, digital autonomy, grooming, sextortion, exploitation, CSAM, pornography, harmful content, suicide, sharenting, digital literacy, boundaries, notifications, personal responsibility, screen time, peer pressure, parental responsibility, online reporting.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode includes discussions of child sexual abuse material, sexual exploitation, grooming, sextortion, pornography, suicide and other disturbing subjects. It is intended for adult listeners and is not suitable for children.

My guest in this episode is Mick Moran, CEO of Hotline.ie, Ireland's national reporting centre for suspected illegal online content, particularly child sexual abuse material (CSAM).
He spent 34 years in An Garda Síochána before joining Hotline.ie.
Recorded during the summer of 2026, this is a frank and, at times, deeply unsettling conversation about the online world we're living in and what it means for our children.

A significant part of our conversation focuses on parenting. When should children get their first smartphone? Are we putting them at a disadvantage by delaying access to them?

This isn't about judging parents or pretending there are easy answers. As a mother of two young kids, I'm very aware that many of these decisions are ahead of me too.
And if this episode resonated with you, I suggest you listen to my conversations with psychotherapist Richard Hogan, in particular the one on Adolescence.

Resources and support

Hotline.ie - Irish Internet Hotline

Ireland's national reporting centre where members of the public can securely, anonymously and confidentially report suspected illegal online content, especially child sexual abuse material.
https://hotline.ie

CyberSafeKids

An Irish charity providing research, education and practical online safety resources for children, parents and schools.
https://www.cybersafekids.ie

Smartphone Free Childhood Ireland

A parent-led movement supporting families and school communities who want to delay children's access to smartphones and social media.
https://smartphonefree.ie

Webwise

Ireland's online safety awareness centre, offering information and educational resources on social media, gaming, cyberbullying, privacy and digital wellbeing.
https://www.webwise.ie

ISPCC / Childline
Confidential support for children and young people, including those affected by harmful online experiences.
https://www.ispcc.ie
https://www.childline.ie
Childline: 1800 66 66 66 (24-hour support).

National Parents Council
Advice, education and support for parents, including guidance on children's online safety and wellbeing.
https://www.npc.ie

Irish Safer Internet Centre

Hotline.ie is a member of the Irish Safer Internet Centre alongside Webwise, ISPCC Childline and the National Parents Council.

https://hotline.ie/safer-internet-centre/

The 4 Cs of online risk

Mick refers to the CO:RE 4 Cs framework, which identifies four broad categories of online risk to children:

Content - Exposure to potentially harmful or inappropriate online material.
Contact - Harmful interactions with others online, including grooming and unwanted contact.
Conduct - Harmful online behaviour involving children, including cyberbullying, harassment and harmful peer interactions.
Contract - Commercial and transactional risks, including scams, fraud, data exploitation and manipulative marketing.

Books mentioned :

The Anxious Generation - Jonathan Haidt
Explores the impact of smartphones, social media and changes in childhood on young people's mental health and development.

The Amazing Generation - Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price
A companion book aimed at children aged approximately 9-12, encouraging healthier relationships with technology and more freedom, connection and adventure in the real world.
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