The Psychology Sisters

• The Avoidant Attachment Style - Learning to stay when it feels safer to leave

   Love me, but from over there - The Avoidant attachment style  I want to send out a hopeful message to everyone listening – you have secure attachment in your system biologically. It’s in your system and your system wants to be connected, that’s what it’s wired for. It’s that throughout development stuff get’s dumped on your system, which interrupts this. Wounds, attachment injuries, trauma disconnects us and our system wants us to return to security. People use different language for attachment style which can be confusing so, were going to refer to the avoidant attachment style today – can also be referred to as the dismissive avoidant, insecure, fearful avoidant etc.How it develops The avoidant attachment develops through absenteeism – it’s a message of “nobodies there”. Think of a vacant, dissociated parent – a child might be trying to find their parents eyes staring at them and there’s nobody home! Which is scary for infants who are 100% dependant on their parents! I also want to add that sometimes it’s not just the parenting of the child – sometimes it’s a medical procedure or an illness, maybe there was birth trauma or the parent is unwell – different factors can come in here. Any parents listening please take the burden to be perfect off your shoulders, we only need 30% attunement for secure attachment and it is a very forgiving system. Another way it can show up is when only left-brain activities are responded to – so whenever there is a learning of a skill, or an achievement in some way they were there, but whenever it was emotional or there was a need for comforting, they weren’t available enough. So, what this means is there sense of self is largely felt as isolated and they tend to regulate through dissociative mechanisms like zoning out to Netflix because they have a knee – jerk reaction to withdraw and a stress on connection. If you’re an avoidant you need time to surface to connection – it’s like you’ve been deep deep diving in the ocean and if you come up too quick you get the bends, so when I’m working with couples sometimes I’ll ask how much time they need to re-surface or what helps them come up slowly, because it’s hard to go from deep deep isolation to connection. Avoidance is a deep withdrawal that has helped them survive – it doesn’t mean they want to be alone. And often when an avoidant starts to connect to the longing of connection, it’s incredibly painful, that’s also our secure attachment surfacing! How to move towards security?Experiment with low-risk situations of connectYou can find more of us here: Our Online Psychology practice: Did you know we have online appointments available with our amazing therapists Lisa or Maddie. Learn more here https://thepsychcollaborative.com.au The Thriving Therapists: To connect with a safe and supportive community of like-minded therapists, head to our Thriving Therapists Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/224252457083630/?ref=share&mibextid=S66gvFOr find us on our Instagram: https://instagram.com/thethrivingtherapists?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==The Psychology Sisters Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/thepsychologysisters/?hl=enThe Psych Collaborative instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/thepsychcollaborative/?hl=enPlease note: this episode is for informational purposes only and does not replace personalised psychological advice.

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• The truth about sleep deprivation

  Welcome back to The Psychology Mama’s — the podcast that holds space for your full emotional spectrum and cheers you on when you finally drink a coffee while it’s still hot.Today, we’re diving into one of the most universal yet wildly under-discussed parts of early parenthood: sleep deprivation — or more accurately, the full-blown nervous system crisis that comes from being woken up every 90 minutes by a tiny dictator in a Bonds onesie.We’re talking about how a lack of sleep messes with your brain, your emotions, your sense of self, and sometimes your sanity. We’ll also unpack the mental load of new parenthood — the identity shifts, the rage-crying, the pressure to enjoy every moment while hallucinating from exhaustion.And of course, we’ll wade into the murky, guilt-soaked waters of the sleep training industry — the conflicting research, the polarising opinions, and why it can feel like everyone’s an expert except the person actually doing the 3am rocking.This one’s for the parents, the therapists supporting them, and anyone wondering why “just sleep when the baby sleeps” might be the most unhelpful advice of all time.So, grab a snack, lie down if you can, and let’s get into it.You can find more of us here: Our Online Psychology practice: Did you know we have online appointments available with our amazing therapists Lisa or Maddie. Learn more here https://thepsychcollaborative.com.au The Thriving Therapists: To connect with a safe and supportive community of like-minded therapists, head to our Thriving Therapists Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/224252457083630/?ref=share&mibextid=S66gvFOr find us on our Instagram: https://instagram.com/thethrivingtherapists?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==The Psychology Sisters Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/thepsychologysisters/?hl=enThe Psych Collaborative instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/thepsychcollaborative/?hl=enPlease note: this episode is for informational purposes only and does not replace personalised psychological advice.

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• Unfiltered - when it all feels like a lot + the power of going soft

  Welcome back to The Psychology Sisters unfiltered, where we chat all things being human, with a mix of clinical insight, real talk, and a few chaotic tangents.In today’s episode, we’re exploring something that feels especially needed right now: softness. What does it mean to go soft in a world that’s constantly asking us to toughen up, keep going, and stay informed, even when it all feels like a lot?We start with what it means to feel alive, not just functioning, but actually alive in your body, your joy, and your presence. Then we dive into the weirdness of the current world climate — from global conflict to digital burnout — and how to look after yourself without disconnecting entirely. And finally, we unpack the Soft Girl Era, not as an aesthetic, but as a nervous system rebellion. Resting, feeling, slowing down, and saying no? That’s the real power move.So, if you’ve been feeling flat, frantic, or just deeply tired — this one’s for you.Aimee + KatYou can find more of us here: Our Online Psychology practice: Did you know we have online appointments available with our amazing therapists Lisa or Maddie. Learn more here https://thepsychcollaborative.com.au The Thriving Therapists: To connect with a safe and supportive community of like-minded therapists, head to our Thriving Therapists Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/224252457083630/?ref=share&mibextid=S66gvFOr find us on our Instagram: https://instagram.com/thethrivingtherapists?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==The Psychology Sisters Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/thepsychologysisters/?hl=enThe Psych Collaborative instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/thepsychcollaborative/?hl=enPlease note: this episode is for informational purposes only and does not replace personalised psychological advice.

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• Why You Fear They’ll Leave — Rewiring an Anxious Attachment

  In today’s episode we are diving deep into the ambivalent attachment style, where it comes from, how it shows up in your relationships and how you can start rewiring it.If you often feel like you’re too much and not enough or constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop in relationships, this one is for you. Understanding Attachment:o Attachment is a biological system, its innate.o Attachment is developed within relationshipso People with adverse childhood experiences, experience higher levels or incidences of insecure/anxious attachment.o Internal working models (blueprint)- patterns of relating are internalised = how we relate to others.We have a pro-social system – our system wants to return to secure attachment so it’s possible for everyone.Attachment styles are designed to; maximise available care provided by the caregiver and limit the level of distress.We dive into the following:The Ambivalant Attachment Style develops when there is inconsistency in the way the caregiver responds to the child. The Fear of Being Left •How it shows up in adult relationships•The loop: fear > control > guilt > shameRewiring & Repair  Nervous system!!!-Corrective experience of being present with love and connection -Secure attachment rituals – e.g. before bed connection and rituals because that can be a separation too. Greetings!! Our systems are delicate and responsive and that’s a strength too-Learn how to make requests in a positive way (no shame/blame) -The story I’m telling myself about being unloveable -Notice caring behaviours without deflection Let us know if you'd like more attachment episodes!!You can find more of us here: Our Online Psychology practice: Did you know we have online appointments available with our amazing therapists Lisa or Maddie. Learn more here https://thepsychcollaborative.com.au The Thriving Therapists: To connect with a safe and supportive community of like-minded therapists, head to our Thriving Therapists Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/224252457083630/?ref=share&mibextid=S66gvFOr find us on our Instagram: https://instagram.com/thethrivingtherapists?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==The Psychology Sisters Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/thepsychologysisters/?hl=enThe Psych Collaborative instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/thepsychcollaborative/?hl=enPlease note: this episode is for informational purposes only and does not replace personalised psychological advice.

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• Unfiltered - should you track your partners phone?

  hello psychology sistas and mistas!! Welcome back to another unfiltered episode!Kat's pit was forgetting to press record on the first episode we recorded!! Her Peek is taking herself out on dates and having treats with herself, savouring being in her own company and loving time with herself. Aimee's pit was also being a tech tragic! Aimee share's her LOVE for the week is Siren's on Netflix and organising her phone notifications so she is less interrupted and more focused.Is it OK to track my partner’s phone?Care vs. controlWhen it might feel justifiableThe emotional cost of surveillanceTrust Tech, boundaries, and healthy communicationCatch-up friends A reflection on how friendships today are often built on updates instead of shared moments — and how that shapes connection, loneliness, and meaning.Why is it easier to catch up than to connect?The role of effort and planning in adult friendshipsWhat would it look like to make “new memories” this week?We hope you love this episode!!Aimee + Kat xYou can find more of us here: Our Online Psychology practice: Did you know we have online appointments available with our amazing therapists Lisa or Maddie. Learn more here https://thepsychcollaborative.com.au The Thriving Therapists: To connect with a safe and supportive community of like-minded therapists, head to our Thriving Therapists Facebook group: https://m.facebook.com/groups/224252457083630/?ref=share&mibextid=S66gvFOr find us on our Instagram: https://instagram.com/thethrivingtherapists?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==The Psychology Sisters Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/thepsychologysisters/?hl=enThe Psych Collaborative instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/thepsychcollaborative/?hl=enPlease note: this episode is for informational purposes only and does not replace personalised psychological advice.

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