Securely Attached

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most downloaded and talked-about episodes in Securely Attached history.
 
Few parenting topics generate as much confusion, anxiety, and conflicting advice as sleep. In this conversation, neuroscientist, doula, and author of The Nurture Revolution, Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum, joins me to explore what the science actually tells us about infant sleep, sleep training, bed sharing, contact sleep, and the role responsiveness plays in early brain development.
 
Together we discuss:
 
Whether night waking is a normal and developmentally expected part of infant sleep.

What neuroscience tells us about how babies learn to feel safe during sleep.

What sleep training does and does not change about infant sleep.

The different approaches to sleep training and how they compare.

The science behind contact sleep, room sharing, and bed sharing.

How societal expectations around sleep can contribute to parental anxiety and guilt.

Ways to support your baby's sleep while honoring both your child's needs and your own.

How to think about sleep decisions without shame, fear, or pressure.

Why it is never too late to strengthen connection and secure attachment, regardless of the sleep choices you've made in the past.

 
This conversation offers a compassionate, science-backed perspective on one of parenting's most emotionally charged topics. Rather than telling parents what they should or should not do, Dr. Kirshenbaum empowers families with the information they need to make informed decisions that feel right for their unique child, their mental health, and their family. Most importantly, this episode reminds us that parenting is not about perfection. It is about understanding our children, responding with intention, and building connection one moment at a time.
 
⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐
 
If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
Why trying harder often makes tooth brushing harder, and what to focus on instead.

The surprising reason lowering your expectations in the short term can actually lead to better long-term habits.

How to tell whether your child is resisting because of autonomy, sensory sensitivities, or something else entirely.

Why treating tooth brushing like learning a brand-new skill, no matter your child's age, can completely change your approach.

Simple ways to use play, exposure, and curiosity to help your child feel more comfortable with brushing.

Small changes to your routine that can dramatically reduce bedtime power struggles.

Creative ideas to make tooth brushing feel less threatening and more engaging, even for children who have fought it every step of the way.

 
Whether your child refuses to open their mouth, insists on brushing independently, or runs away the moment the toothbrush comes out, this episode will help you move away from daily battles and toward a calmer, more connected approach that builds cooperation over time.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can teach your toddler to clean up their toys without power struggles
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to set limits, support independence, and reduce meltdowns with Devon Kuntzman
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why toddler sleep is different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help your child fall asleep with Eileen Henry
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Oren Jay Sofer, mindfulness teacher, communication expert, and author of Say What You Mean, joins me to explore the principles of Nonviolent Communication, a powerful framework that helps us communicate in ways that foster connection, reduce conflict, and strengthen relationships.
 
Together we explore:
 
Why your child's challenging behavior may be pointing to something much deeper than disobedience.

The surprising shift that can completely change how you approach power struggles.

Why memorizing parenting scripts often falls flat, and what to focus on instead.

How your own unmet needs may be fueling the very conflicts you're trying to solve.

The simple mindset change that can help you stay calmer when emotions run high.

What children are really learning from every interaction, even when things don't go as planned.

How to set firm boundaries without relying on shame, fear, or punishment.

A practical communication strategy that can make it easier for children to cooperate.

 
Whether you're parenting a toddler, school-aged child, or teenager, this conversation offers a thoughtful framework for navigating everyday challenges with greater presence, compassion, and confidence, while strengthening the secure attachment your child depends on.
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.orenjaysofer.com/ 
📚 Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication
📚 Your Heart Was Made for This: Contemplative Practices for Meeting a World in Crisis with Courage, Integrity, and Love
📚 Teaching Mindfulness to Empower Adolescents
📱 @orenjaysofer
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 
📱IG: @drsarahbren
 
 
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about kids' self-regulation, attention, and creativity, with somatic therapist Alé Duarte
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of mindfulness for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of mindfulness and how teaching these skills to our kids has worldwide impact with Dr. Dan Siegel

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
Whether parents should wait to address anxiety or OCD symptoms while their child is in a PANS or PANDAS flare.

How to tell the difference between supporting your child and unintentionally strengthening anxiety.

Why the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) approach helps parents create lasting change without requiring their child to participate in therapy.

Why you don't have to start with the biggest or hardest challenge to see meaningful progress.

How reducing just a few anxiety-driven routines can lead to improvements across many different areas of your child's life.

Practical ways to help your child build confidence in handling anxiety while feeling deeply supported and understood.

Resources for parents who want to learn more about SPACE therapy and find trained providers.

 
Whether your child has PANS, PANDAS, OCD, or anxiety more broadly, this episode will help you better understand your role in the treatment process and give you practical, evidence-based strategies for supporting your child with confidence, compassion, and hope.
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
🔗Demystifying PANS/PANDAS Podcast with Nancy O'Hara MD 
 
👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to upshurbren.com/space to learn more or book a free 30-minute consultation with our care team, who will listen carefully and help you determine the best support for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about PANS/PANDAS with Dr. Nancy O'Hara
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the line between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most popular and foundational episodes in Securely Attached history.
 
When children are overwhelmed by big feelings, many parents wonder how to help them calm down, listen, or use the coping skills they've been taught. But before children can regulate themselves, they first need to experience regulation through relationships.
In this conversation, I sit down with early childhood specialist Dana Rosenbloom, founder of Dana's Kids, to explore the powerful role co-regulation plays in helping children develop emotional regulation skills, resilience, and self-awareness.
 
Together we discuss:
 
What co-regulation is and why it is the foundation of emotional development.

Why emotional dysregulation is often contagious for both parents and children.

How to stay grounded when your child is overwhelmed by big feelings.

Why the goal is not to be perfectly calm all the time.

How children learn emotional regulation through our modeling and presence.

Why getting comfortable with your child's discomfort can be one of the most important parenting skills.

The difference between being a detective and being a teacher during challenging moments.

How to respond when your child is upset about a limit you've set.

Why a child's rejection of a boundary is not a reflection of your effectiveness as a parent.

The role repair plays in building resilience, confidence, and connection.

 
This conversation offers a compassionate and practical framework for understanding children's behavior through the lens of regulation rather than compliance. Dana reminds us that emotional outbursts are not signs that we've failed as parents or that our children are failing. They are opportunities for connection, learning, and growth. Most importantly, this episode is a powerful reminder that before we can co-regulate with our children, we must first learn how to regulate ourselves.
 
⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐
 
If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.