Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
 
- What a time-in actually is and how it's different from a time-out.
- How to tell if your child's behavior is coming from dysregulation, a skill gap, or deliberate behavior.
- How to know which discipline tools will work best in each unique situation.
- The difference between co-regulating during a meltdown and teaching a behavioral boundary (and how to know when to use each).
- How to use time-outs as a teaching tool, not a punishment.
- How developmental stages affect behaviors like hitting, tantrums, and defiance—and what realistic expectations to set.
- Why trying to find the "perfect parenting script" often makes discipline harder.
- The one question to ask yourself that will help you decide what to do in the moment.
 
If you've ever found yourself wondering whether you should comfort your child, correct the behavior, or step away entirely, this episode will help you zoom out, understand what's really going on underneath the behavior, and respond more intentionally.
 
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
🔗 Longitudinal Relationship Between Time-Out and Child Emotional and Behavioral Functioning
 
👉 Feeling confused about discipline strategies like time-ins, time-outs, and consequences? Visit drsarahbren.com/timeout to download my ✨FREE✨ Discipline Guide to learn when and how to use these tools in a way that actually supports your child's development while reducing power struggles at home. This guide breaks down how to respond to common behaviors like tantrums, hitting, and defiance so you can feel more confident in the moment. 
 
📚The Tantrum Survival Guide: Tune In to Your Toddler's Mind (and Your Own) to Calm the Craziness and Make Family Fun Again by Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, PhD
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using your child's brain, body and nervous system to guide your parenting Dr. Mona Delahooke
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to integrate effective discipline that prioritizes emotional and mental health with Sarah R. Moore
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Let's revisit the foundation of raising securely attached kids! I'm bringing back one of my first ever episodes to help parents understand the basics of how a secure attachment bond impacts children's resilience, confidence, and overall well-being.
 
Tune in to hear:
 
- What secure attachment is and how it plays a key role in nurturing a child's confidence, curiosity, and ability to handle life's ups and downs.
 
- The powerful influence of feeling safe and seen on a child's ability to be honest, adaptable, and resilient.
 
- Practical strategies for fostering secure attachment, no matter the age of your child.
 
- How attachment affects a child's development into a compassionate, kind individual who can build meaningful relationships throughout their life.
 
This episode offers science-backed insights and actionable tips and is a must-listen for all parents!
 
 
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?
Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH:
https://drsarahbren.com/
 
FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele
 
🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan
 
🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
 
- Whether it's developmentally realistic to expect a baby and a toddler to "work together" during play.
- If separating siblings in certain moments is helpful parenting… or something we're supposed to avoid.
- The concept of "territory" in child development and why young children often need spaces and projects that feel protected.
- Why pushing young children to share too early can sometimes make cooperation harder later on.
- How helping a toddler trust that their creations and belongings will be respected can actually reduce sibling rivalry over time.
- The difference between communal family spaces and personal spaces for kids' toys and projects.
- Simple ways to set boundaries that support both children's needs without turning every moment into a negotiation.
- Where kids actually learn to get along with siblings — so you can focus on the moments that matter and release some of the pressure around the rest.
 
If you're parenting siblings close in age and feel like you're constantly refereeing fights over toys, this episode will help you better understand what's developmentally normal and give you practical ways to support both children without feeling like you have to force sharing or cooperation before they're ready.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about encouraging sibling empathy without making them responsible for each other's feelings
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to get your toddler to share
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about soothing your baby and encouraging a closed sibling bond with Dr. Golly
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Dr. Audrey van der Meer, developmental neuroscientist and Professor of Neuropsychology at NTNU, joins me to talk about what's happening inside our children's brains when they write by hand versus type on a keyboard and what the shift toward fully digital classrooms may be costing their learning, memory, and focus.
 
Together we explore:
 
- What gross motor development is and why its sequential nature is so essential for a child's development.
- The research that illustrated that handwriting activates larger neural networks linked to memory, attention, and deeper learning compared to typing.
- Why taking notes by hand improves memory retention and comprehension.
- The "use it or lose it" principle of brain development and what that means for cognitive growth.
- What studies reveal about reading on paper versus reading on screens.
- How screens can be beneficial too, so you can make informed, intentional decisions about when to incorporate technology and when to set limits.
- Practical, realistic ways parents can strengthen brain development at home without banning screens or rejecting technology altogether.
 
This conversation isn't about rejecting technology or going back to the Stone Age. It's about being intentional. And when we understand how the brain evolved to learn, we can make small shifts that serve to strengthen our children's development.
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Dr. Audrey van der Meer 
🔗NuLab 
 
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@audreyvandermeer
📱@drsarahbren
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of EdTech with Andy Liddell
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to keep your child safe in a world of AI, algorithms, and social media with Imran Ahmed
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting with the "whole-brain" with Dr. Dan Siegel
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
Why cleanup time can be surprisingly hard for young children.
What's really happening in your toddler's brain and body when they are resisting transitions.
Is repeating yourself over and over again a normal part of parenting young kids? And how do you know when it's part of the learning process versus something that needs a different approach?
How motor planning, executive functioning, and task initiation can make something like "clean up your toys" feel overwhelming to a child.
Why you might still be doing 90% of the cleanup work at this age (and why that can actually be part of the learning process.)
Practical strategies to make cleanup easier, including breaking tasks into smaller steps, planning ahead for transitions, and using cues like songs and routines.
How to shift your expectations so you can stay calm and connected instead of getting pulled into power struggles.
 
If you find yourself repeating the same requests over and over while trying to stay patient and regulated, this episode will help you understand what's developmentally normal for young children and give you practical tools to make cleanup time and transitions feel more manageable for both you and your child.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
 
 
 
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it's different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry
 
🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
 
🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids?
 
🎧231. BTS: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills?
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!