The Connected Life

Most of us don't set out to control people—we think we're helping. We say it's love, protection, or just wanting the best. But underneath, codependency often looks like playing God, trying to save others from pain so we don't have to feel it ourselves.
In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the subtle ways control sneaks into relationships: when someone else's choices feel like a reflection on us, when regret from our past makes us overprotective, or when fear of future consequences drives us to intervene. Through honest stories about friends, family, and faith, they unpack why pain is sometimes the very teacher people need, and how trust, boundaries, and invitation create space for real growth.
If you've ever exhausted yourself fixing others or confused control for love, this conversation will help you release the weight and find freedom in letting people be fully themselves.
You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife
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So many of us grow up believing that love means fixing, managing, or predicting other people. It feels safer to silence our needs than risk being "too much." But what if that survival strategy is actually what keeps us disconnected?
In part two of this three part series, Justin and Abi continue their conversation on codependency, sharing how growing up in chaotic homes taught them to avoid vulnerability and chase the illusion of peace. They unpack what happens when we don't know our own needs, why denial keeps us stuck, and how self-awareness becomes the key to real connection. Along the way, they explore how faith often reinforced control and what it looks like to reframe love through trust, autonomy, and compassion.
If you've ever felt like your very existence is a burden, or you're exhausted from controlling people in the name of care, this episode will help you find freedom and breathe again.
You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife
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So many of us confuse codependency with love—believing that fixing, managing, or rescuing others is the way to feel safe and connected. But what if that "care" is really control in disguise?
In part one of this three part series, Justin and Abi get personal about how childhood instability, unprocessed grief, and toxic empathy shaped their patterns of over-responsibility. They unpack how codependency forms as a survival strategy, why hyper-vigilance can feel like compassion, and the hidden cost of carrying emotions that aren't yours. From childhood memories to marriage struggles, they share what it took to untangle those dynamics and begin choosing connection without control.
If you've ever felt exhausted from fixing everyone else, wondered why you can't stay out of someone's emotions, or longed for healthier boundaries, this conversation is for you!
You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife
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Most of us want to be emotionally mature—calm in conflict, clear about our needs, and kind even when we're hurting. But no one really teaches us how to get there.
In this episode, Justin, Abi, and Rachel unpack one of the most overlooked skills of emotional maturity: distress tolerance. They explore how learning to stay present with uncomfortable feelings—like shame, rejection, or fear—can completely shift the way we handle conflict, communicate needs, and repair in relationships. You'll hear honest stories about moments when they wanted to escape, react, or fix things fast—and how they learned to stay grounded instead.
If you've ever been accused of overreacting… or felt powerless to stop yourself from shutting down, blaming, or spiraling in conflict, this conversation offers a compassionate pathway to building inner strength. Don't miss out!
You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife
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Most of us say we want to be loved — but for many of us, when it shows up at our doorstep, it stirs up panic, self-doubt, and the urge to run. But what if allowing people to love us could feel comfortable and completely normal?
In this episode, Justin, Abi, and their long-time friend Rachel unpack what it means to build emotional distress tolerance—not just for pain, but for goodness. They explore why being seen, supported, or chosen can feel so threatening when your nervous systems is used to disappointment or self-reliance. From unexpected gifts to unwavering kindness, they share personal stories of the discomfort that arises when love challenges your core beliefs about worth, safety, and identity. Lastly they discuss how expanding your capacity to sit with uncomfortable feelings—without numbing, blaming, or ejecting—can radically transform your relationships.
If you've ever felt overwhelmed by love, unsure how to receive it, or scared it might not last—this conversation will help you grow your capacity to let love in, one moment at a time.
You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife
Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!