But Are You Happy?

Ever feel like staying up for hours perfecting a single email, or completely paralyzed by the fear of failing at a new project?
In this episode of But Are You Happy, host Ashani Dante pulls back the curtain on the sneaky reality of chronic perfectionism. We’re moving beyond the surface level to explore the inner turmoil and emotional load that comes with tying your entire self-worth to your performance. Joining the conversation is clinical psychologist Anita Shimmins from Inlight Psychology to unpack why we carry this deep underlying fear of failure and how it subtly infiltrates our work, our parenting, and our relationships.
Together, Ashani and Anita explore why perfectionism is actually a protective coping strategy built to shield us from shame. You will learn the distinct psychological archetypes of perfectionism, how chronic pressure can show up physically in the body, and why hitting a major life goal often brings a temporary wave of relief rather than true joy. More importantly, this episode breaks down actionable, evidence-based strategies from schema and exposure therapy, sharing how to actively test your fears by making small mistakes on purpose and how to start replacing unrelenting standards with a realistic, self-compassionate lens.
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CREDITS:
Host: Ashani Dante
Guest: Anita Shimmins
Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman
Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown
Audio and Video Producer: Marlena Cacciotti
Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.
Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A new season of But Are You Happy? Is coming your way. You told us you wanted deep-dive, informative conversations with leading experts about all the things impacting your self-development and mental health. We got you. You’ll be hearing from experts such as Sarah Bays, Millie Rose Bannister and Ben Vasilou, on topics ranging from situationships, navigating tricky group chats, and pushing back against perfectionism.
Same great show, new conversations.
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Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Struggling to say no... to anyone?
In this bonus episode, Ashani delivers the pep talk you need to start advocating for yourself and setting healthier boundaries, whether it’s at work, with friends, or with the people asking a little too much of you right now.
Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. Both services are available 24/7 for free, confidential mental health support.
GET IN TOUCH
Want to get in touch with us? DM @butareyouhappypod on Instagram or send us a voice memo. Our hosts are ready to hear your dilemmas—think of it as free therapy!
Listen to more Mamamia podcasts here.
Did you know some of our shows are now in video on the Apple Podcast app? Make sure your phone is up to date and check it out here!
Win a $2,000 Bed Threads voucher. Subscribe to Mamamia here before April 30 to be automatically entered. Current subscriber? You're already in the draw. T&Cs apply.
CREDITS:
Host: Ashani Dante
Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman
Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown
Audio Producer: Scott Stronach
Mamamia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast.
Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this bonus episode, Ashani gives you a reassuring pep talk for when you're feeling anxious before a presentation, event, or any situation that feels overwhelming, and the self-talk shifts that can help you calm your nerves and show up anyway.
Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. Both services are available 24/7 for free, confidential mental health support.
GET IN TOUCH
Want to get in touch with us? DM @butareyouhappypod on Instagram or send us a voice memo. Our hosts are ready to hear your dilemmas—think of it as free therapy!
Listen to more Mamamia podcasts here.
Did you know some of our shows are now in video on the Apple Podcast app? Make sure your phone is up to date and check it out here!
Win a $2,000 Bed Threads voucher. Subscribe to Mamamia here before April 30 to be automatically entered. Current subscriber? You're already in the draw. T&Cs apply.
CREDITS:
Host: Ashani Dante
Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman
Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown
Audio Producer: Scott Stronach
Mamamia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast.
Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this bonus episode, Dr Anastasia Hronis offers a calming 10-minute reset to help you step out of the chaos of daily life.
This guided exercise invites you to engage your senses: sight, touch, and sound, to ground your attention. If your mind wanders, that’s okay. Gently bring it back and continue. A practical, soothing way to reconnect with the present moment.
Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. Both services are available 24/7 for free, confidential mental health support.
GET IN TOUCH
Want to get in touch with us? DM @butareyouhappypod on Instagram or send us a voice memo. Our hosts are ready to hear your dilemmas—think of it as free therapy!
Listen to more Mamamia podcasts here.
Did you know some of our shows are now in video on the Apple Podcast app? Make sure your phone is up to date and check it out here!
Win a $2,000 Bed Threads voucher. Subscribe to Mamamia here before April 30 to be automatically entered. Current subscriber? You're already in the draw. T&Cs apply.
CREDITS:
Hosts: Dr Anastasia Hronis
Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman
Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown
Audio Producer: Jacob Round
Mamamia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast.
Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.