Ladies, We Need To Talk

We've been talking about the mental load for decades, so why are so many women still carrying it?
It's the unseen mental and emotional work we do to keep our lives running — the planning, problem-solving, and remembering that often goes unnoticed.
The term isn't new, but our understanding of it is changing. Yumi is joined by sociologist Leah Ruppanner, who interviewed thousands of women as part of a research project to develop tools to help manage and lighten your mental load.
As part of this research, Leah's developed a simple online quiz that breaks the mental load into eight categories, helping you see where your energy is going and how you might redistribute it.
Further information
Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More is published by Penguin Random House
Free Mental Load Assessment | Lighten Lab | Professor Leah Ruppanner)This episode will answer questions like:
What is the mental load?
How can I reduce the mental load?
How does carrying the load impact women?
How can I share the mental load?
What are the eight categories of the mental load
What to listen to next:
"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in togetherWorst ever dates, with Alita BrydonWhat to read next:
Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by childrenWomen on being in a sexless marriage and tips for reconnectingThis episode contains references to the mental load, housework, invisible labour, emotional labour, parenting, emotional responsibility.

Having children is one of the most rewarding and meaningful things we can do. But what if you wish you'd never become a parent?
For mothers especially, the taboo of admitting they regret their children can be incredibly lonely. Many carry their grief, loss of identity and exhaustion in silence.
Yumi Stynes gets a rare window into the lives of people who love their children but admit that if they could go back in time, they'd make a different choice.
Featured in this episode:
Ella Reed, sociologist at Monash University researching maternal regret 
This episode will answer questions like:  
What does it feel like to regret having kids?
Why do some parents regret having children?
Where do you get help if you’re struggling as a parent?
How does regretting children impact a romantic relationship?
Why is maternal regret so taboo? 
What to listen to next:
"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together
Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon
The grief no parent expects
What to read next:
Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by childrenWomen on being in a sexless marriage and tips for reconnectingThese grieving mothers want you to say their babies' namesThis episode contains references to motherhood, parenting, mothering, regret, anxiety, depression, suffering, family, mental load, support, relationships, romance.

There’s a special kind of fury reserved for the 'other woman.' She’s often depicted as a home wrecker and immoral, but is she misunderstood? Unlucky to fall for someone who’s already taken?   
Yumi Stynes speaks with women whose hearts belong to married men and discovers that beneath the stereotypes are complicated love stories built on hope and promises in the face of deception.    
Psychologist Liz Neal also explains what forbidden love does to the brain and why it can be so enticing. (R). 
This episode will answer questions like: 
What’s it like to be the other woman?
How do people hide affairs from their partners?
Why do people have affairs?
Where does the ‘seductive mistress’ trope come from? 
What to listen to next:
"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together
Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon
The grief no parent expects
What to read next:
These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names
Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children
This episode contains references to cheating, infidelity, sex, relationships, marriage, women, the other woman.

Have you ever fantasised about raising kids with your bestie? Well, some women are doing it for real. And these mum communes or ‘mummunes’ don’t look like your average share house.  
These women are sharing a roof, chores, bills and the mental load of raising their kids. For some, it’s the antidote to a nuclear family structure that left them drained and resentful. For others, it’s a handy, albeit overcrowded solution to the struggles of single motherhood. 
Yumi Stynes speaks to women who are rewriting the rules of motherhood and finds out what there is to gain when you challenge the status quo.  
This episode will answer questions like: 
Can you raise children with your best friend?
Should you raise children with a romantic partner?
Why do women feel burnt out as wives and mothers?
Has the nuclear family become outdated for women?
Do you need men to raise kids?
What are the challenges of raising kids with your best friend?
How do communal living arrangements deal with money?
How does dating work in a mummune?
Why do women initiate household and child care more than men? 
What to listen to next:
Are you mum or grandma? Having a baby at 47The women who've never had sexOne true love or many: Monogamy vs. open relationshipsWhat to read next:
These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' namesEmpty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children
Why these women have never had a partnerThis episode contains references to child care, parenting, mothering, single mum, alternative family structures, romantic partner, heterosexuality, patriarchy, mommune, mummune, commune, shared living, alternative living, community, individualism, village.

It’s truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in the modern world has endured at least one truly disastrous date. It is, regrettably, a rite of passage. 
Author Alita Bryson has been on hundreds of them! One guy asked her if it was okay to marry your cousin, another trolled people online for fun while yet another literally drove off mid-date. 
While her dating life was catastrophic, Alita realised it made great fodder for entertainment and so she started the Instagram page Bad Dates of Melbourne, publishing anonymous submissions of terrible dates so that women could take comfort in each other’s suffering (and laugh at each other’s misfortune).  
Alita has some sage advice for anyone out there brave enough to date. 
Further information: How to date like a dangerous woman is published by HarperCollins. 
This episode will answer questions like: 
How can I meet someone new?
Is it ok to ghost someone?
Should I pay for dinner on a date?
Can I leave a date if I don’t like the other person?
How can I meet a potential date safely? 
What to listen to next:
The new way to dateThe ugly side of the beauty industry with Jess DeFinoIs your attachment style messing with your love life?Jess Mauboy steps into her boss lady era 
What to read next:
Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children
Why these women have never had a partner
These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names
This episode contains references to Bad Dates of Melbourne, dating, dating apps, Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, relationships, sex, orgies, orgasms and how to date like a dangerous woman.