Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ?

Show Notes
What happens when the person trained to save lives begins quietly losing his own will to live?
Dr. Jeremy Heffner spent decades working as a trauma surgeon, making life-or-death decisions and delivering news no family ever wants to hear. Behind the strength and composure his profession demanded, however, he was carrying the emotional weight of countless traumatic experiences.
In this powerful episode, Dr. Heffner reveals how years of suppressing his emotions—combined with the pressure of leading his hospital’s COVID response—contributed to severe PTSD, damaged relationships, increased alcohol use, and a mental health crisis that brought him to the brink of suicide.
He shares how residential treatment, EMDR therapy, faith, family, and healthier boundaries helped him begin rebuilding his life. We also examine his experience with artificial intelligence during recovery, including how AI can provide a place to express difficult thoughts while also creating serious risks when it replaces professional care and genuine human connection.
Dr. Heffner also discusses his book, Proof of the Impossible, and offers an important message for anyone who appears strong and successful while suffering privately: asking for help is not weakness—it is an act of courage.
In this episode, we discuss:
The emotional burden carried by trauma surgeons
Warning signs of unresolved trauma and PTSD
Why physicians and high achievers often struggle silently
The effects of trauma on marriage, family, and professional relationships
EMDR therapy and residential mental health treatment
Alcohol as an unhealthy way of coping with emotional pain
The roles of faith, family, and personal boundaries in recovery
The potential benefits and dangers of AI for emotional support
Why technology cannot replace qualified care or human connection
The strength required to become emotionally honest and ask for help
Learn more about Dr. Heffner and his work at ProofOfTheImpossible.com.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is immediate danger, call 911.
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Show Notes
Decades after serving in Vietnam, Sammy Lee Davis returned to meet men who had once fought against him. They remembered the sound of his harmonica and asked him to play “Shenandoah” one more time.
On Coast to Coast Heroes, host Tony Mantor sits down with Sammy and his wife, Dixie, to talk about the night Sammy used an air mattress to cross a river and rescue three fellow soldiers despite his own wounds.
Sammy remembers being scared and going anyway because he believed those men would have done the same for him.
Sammy shares what it felt like to receive the Medal of Honor from President Lyndon B. Johnson, how footage of the ceremony became part of Forrest Gump, and what happened when he played “Shenandoah” again in Vietnam.
Dixie describes how combat trauma still shows up in their daily lives and what it means when other military spouses realize they have someone they can talk to.
Through it all, Sammy returns to the advice his mother gave him: “You don’t lose until you quit trying.”
Follow Coast to Coast Heroes for more stories of service and life after the military.
Find The Show : Tony Mantor's Coast to Coast Heroes
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Temple Grandin returns to Why Not Me? for a powerful conversation about autism, mentorship, resilience and preparing autistic individuals for meaningful adult lives.
Temple discusses her documentary An Open Door and how it highlights the teachers, mentors, friends and colleagues who helped shape her life and career. She also explains why recognizing different ways of thinking—including visual, pattern and verbal thinking—is essential to helping autistic individuals discover their abilities.
In This Episode
Temple shares her perspective on:
Distinguishing sensory overload and autistic meltdowns from intentional behavior
Giving children sensory breaks and opportunities for physical activity
The importance of early intervention for nonspeaking children
Preparing autistic students for employment before they leave school
Teaching practical life skills alongside academics
Challenging young people without overwhelming them
Using written checklists to support working memory in the workplace
Limiting screen time and replacing it with meaningful activities
Helping young people build confidence, independence and resilience
Exposing children to tools, trades, animals, art and entrepreneurship
Matching autistic individuals with careers that fit their strengths
Creating fulfilling, paid work instead of meaningless busywork
Supporting autistic adults with different levels of need
Building stronger community programs with retirees and volunteers
Moving beyond labels and the limitations of the medical model
About An Open Door
Unlike the HBO film in which Claire Danes portrayed Temple, An Open Door features Temple telling her own story. The documentary focuses on her later work as an educator and advocate while recognizing the many people who opened doors throughout her journey.
For Temple, the film’s greatest lesson is the importance of mentorship. Her success was not built alone—it was strengthened by people who recognized her abilities, challenged her and gave her opportunities to turn those abilities into meaningful work.
Temple’s Message
Autistic individuals often have uneven abilities, but those differences should not be mistaken for a lack of intelligence or potential. Instead of concentrating primarily on what someone cannot do, Temple encourages parents, educators and employers to identify what that person does well and help develop it into a valuable skill or career.
Her message is clear: expose young people to real experiences, teach them how to work, allow them to learn from mistakes and give them opportunities to prove what they can accomplish.
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Show Notes
What happens when parenting requires you to remain constantly alert—not just for a season, but for a lifetime?
Jennifer Schwenker joins Tony Mantor to share her experience raising identical twin autistic sons, Benji and Sammy. Now 23 years old, her sons share a close bond but have very different personalities, interests, strengths, and support needs.
Jennifer reflects on recognizing their developmental differences, securing early intervention, and navigating speech therapy, occupational therapy, ABA, sensory challenges, and an overwhelming support system. She also speaks candidly about one of the most frightening realities many autism families face: wandering and elopement.
Music became an important part of the family’s journey. What began with her sons’ love of classical music eventually helped inspire sensory-friendly concerts with the Georgia Symphony Orchestra, creating a welcoming environment where autistic children and adults could experience live music comfortably.
As Benji and Sammy entered adulthood, Jennifer’s concerns changed but never disappeared. She discusses lifelong caregiving, protecting vulnerable adults, navigating financial and government-support systems, and the question that weighs heavily on many parents: Who will care for our children when we are no longer here?
This honest and deeply personal conversation explores unconditional love, faith, marriage, advocacy, community inclusion, and the urgent need to recognize professional caregivers through better training, benefits, and livable wages.
Jennifer leaves families with an important message: pursue early support, connect with other parents, bring your child into the community, and remember that growth can be difficult to see when you are living through the daily challenges—but every child can learn.
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Show Notes
What happens when the question changes from "What's wrong with me?" to "What do I need?"
In this powerful episode of Why Not Me? Embracing Autism and Mental Health Worldwide, host Tony Mantor sits down with author, speaker, and mental health advocate Louise Barnett for an unforgettable conversation about living with bipolar disorder.
For years, Louise battled undiagnosed bipolar disorder, addiction, destructive relationships, and overwhelming emotional highs and lows. After standing on the edge of a bridge ready to end her life, one unexpected moment—and the sight of her young daughter—changed everything.
Louise shares her remarkable journey from years of self-blame to receiving a bipolar diagnosis, finding sobriety, rebuilding her life, and ultimately discovering that her condition could become one of her greatest strengths instead of her greatest burden.
Together, Tony and Louise discuss:
What bipolar disorder really feels like beyond the stereotypes
The difference between mania and depression
Why bipolar disorder is often misunderstood and misdiagnosed
Addiction and mental illness
Living with suicidal thoughts and finding hope
Recovery through medication, therapy, sobriety, and emotional regulation
Motherhood and resilience
Finding purpose after diagnosis
Why community can save lives
Turning pain into advocacy
Louise's memoir Tainted Love
Learning to see bipolar disorder as a superpower instead of a weakness
If you or someone you love has been affected by bipolar disorder, depression, addiction, or suicidal thoughts, this honest conversation offers understanding, hope, and practical insight.
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