EP 237: Connection: A Biological Imperative (for parents)
Parents aren’t the only ones providing co-regulation — we need it too. In fact, connection is a biological imperative for every nervous system, including yours. When you’re raising kids with big, baffling behaviors, the imbalance in reciprocity can be exhausting, isolating, and even grief-inducing. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to do this alone, and there are real, meaningful ways to find the connection your nervous system longs for.In this episode you’ll learn:Why co-regulation isn’t just for kids — it’s essential for parents tooHow predictability and cues of safety help you know where to find connectionWhy imbalance and grief in parenting make sense — and what to do with themHow communities (even online ones!) can be powerful sources of connection and safetyResources Mentioned on the Podcast:When Connection Isn’t Safe- Oppositional Series Part 3 {EP 158}When Connection Isn’t Safe- Oppositional Series Part 4 {EP 159}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/biologicalimperativeThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
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47:57
EP 236: Rewriting the Nervous System Story
Your child’s behavior isn’t telling you the whole story. Their behavior is telling you just the story their nervous system is writing in that moment.This week, let’s continue my deep dive into my conversation with Deb Dana (episode 233), exploring how polyvagal theory offers us the hope of rewriting the nervous system story. We’re going to talk about the power of believing our children when they tell us the story of their nervous system and steps we can take to help them rewrite that story (if needed).In this episode, you’ll learn:Why “story follows state” and how this helps us understand our children’s accusations, defensiveness, or “overreactions.”How to resist getting swept into your child’s dysregulation tornado, so you can hold onto compassion (for them and yourself).Practical ways to reframe behavior- like lying, defiance, and opposition- as nervous system responses instead of “badness,” and how that shift helps to rewrite their story…and why that matters. Resources mentioned in this episode:Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/rewritingThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
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EP 235: Parenting in Chronic Protection Mode
Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems often means that parents and caregivers are living in a state of chronic chaos and danger. Even if the behaviors aren’t ‘that bad,’ it’s dysregulating to live with someone in chronic protection mode. In this episode, I take a closer look at how polyvagal theory helps us understand the nervous system’s longing for safety—even when life feels overwhelming—and how parents can increase cues of safety even in the midst of ongoing stress.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why neuroception continuously scans for cues of safety and danger, and how that shapes whether we live in connection or protection mode.How to use the “inside, outside, between” framework to notice and intentionally increase cues of safety in daily life.The hopeful truth that cues of safety from relationships, pets, and nature can eventually be internalized—giving us safety that lives within us, always.Resources mentioned in this podcast:Felt Safety (Inside) {EP 161}Felt Safety (Outside) {EP 162}Felt Safety (Between) {EP 163}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/chronicprotectionmodeThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
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EP 234: Polyvagal Theory, Hope, Dysregulation, and Repair
What if dysregulation isn’t the problem? I know I know- that’s really hard to wrap our brain around! At least, it was for me. In this episode, I continue the conversation from last week’s interview with Deb Dana and take a deeper dive into one of her most powerful insights: that dysregulation is simply part of being human—and it’s the absence of repair that becomes the real challenge.But I think for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors, we need to pause and explore that a little more. Because- in your home- dysregulation is a real problem!!!In this episode, you’ll learn:Why dysregulation is a natural part of being human, and how polyvagal theory reframes it with compassion and hopeThe difference between dysregulation itself and the behaviors that can emerge from itHow offering repair—even when it isn’t received—can create powerful shifts in your child’s nervous system and in your ownResources mentioned in this podcast:Polyvagal Theory as a Path to Hope: Regulation, Repair, and Connection with guest Deb Dana {EP 233}The Club – my online parent community with resources, events, and connections!!!!The Attachment Series - eBookFree Resource Library Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/polyvagalhopeThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
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EP 233: Polyvagal Theory as a Path to Hope: Regulation, Repair, and Connection with guest Deb Dana
Polyvagal theory isn’t just a theory- it’s a way of living that can transform how we show up for our kids, ourselves, and everyone around us. I’m SOOOO excited to introduce you to Deb Dana! Together, we explore how understanding our nervous systems brings hope, deepens connection, and makes repair possible even in the messiest moments.In this episode you’ll learn:Why polyvagal theory is truly a theory of hope and how it can reframe your parenting challenges.How to increase cues of safety and decrease cues of danger—for you and your child.The essential role of repair in building connection, even when your child can’t (or won’t) receive it right away.Resources mentioned in this podcast:https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/DebDanaThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
About The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!
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