The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series by talking about the science of opposition, some practical strategies, and tackling kids stuck in protection mode, all with the aim of providing a comprehensive understanding of making connection a safe experience.In this episode you’ll learn:That providing too much connection can often be overwhelming and feel more like danger than connectionTo titrate connection and supply only as much as the child needs or wantsShowing your child you think of them when are not together like buying their favorite snack, titrates connection by showing that you are thinking of them and you see themResources mentioned in this podcast:Exploring Low Demand Parenting: Shifting Power Dynamics And Nurturing Trust {EP 142}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional4We're kicking off 2026 with a LIVE webinar- Creating Felt Safety! Attend live and watch the recording- PLUS get a huge folder of digital resources including a workbook all about how to impact YOUR felt safety!Register at -----> RobynGobbel.com/FeltSafetyWebinar Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child?In this episode you’ll learn:How connection and protection can get tied togetherHow to keep offering connection, even when it’s consistently rejected by your childThe science behind why YOU need to be receiving connection - and how you can do that even if you don’t have a lot of extra time or supportive people in your lifeResources mentioned in this podcast:Regulated Does Not Equal Calm {Ep 31}Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}Free Resources - robyngobbel.com/freeresourcesRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppostitional3We're kicking off 2026 with a LIVE webinar- Creating Felt Safety! Attend live and watch the recording- PLUS get a huge folder of digital resources including a workbook all about how to impact YOUR felt safety!Register at -----> RobynGobbel.com/FeltSafetyWebinar Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease.In this episode you’ll learn:An invitation to consider some of our cultural beliefs around opposition in the parent/child relationshipHow to use our grown-up brains to invite connection and cooperationStrategies for creating felt safety in the child's inner worldStrategies for creating felt safety in the child's environmentStrategies for creating felt safety in the relationshipResources mentioned in this podcast:When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Neuroimmune Disorders And Big, Baffling, Behaviors With Dr. Qazi Javed {Ep 97}What To Do After We Mess Up {Ep 80}Parenting Superpower! X-ray Vision {Ep 13}Self-Compassion Will Change Your Brain {Ep 8}Neuroimmune Podcast Series!~ robyngobbel.com/neuroimmuneseriesRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional2We're kicking off 2026 with a LIVE webinar- Creating Felt Safety! Attend live and watch the recording- PLUS get a huge folder of digital resources including a workbook all about how to impact YOUR felt safety!Register at -----> RobynGobbel.com/FeltSafetyWebinar Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways.In this episode you’ll learn:That even oppositional behaviors make total senseSpending a lot of time in protection mode is hard on the bodyChanging the behavior is not the goal- regulation, connection, and felt safety isThe diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder is just a label- we have to stay curious about the causes for treatmentResources mentioned in this podcast:Start Here Podcasts - robyngobbel.com/starthereWhen Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Connection or Protection {Ep 7}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional1We're kicking off 2026 with a LIVE webinar- Creating Felt Safety! Attend live and watch the recording- PLUS get a huge folder of digital resources including a workbook all about how to impact YOUR felt safety!Register at -----> RobynGobbel.com/FeltSafetyWebinar Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between.In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship!In this episode, you’ll learnHow availability of connection is a cue of safety or dangerHow neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?)Why nervous systems are contagiousHow ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safetyHow you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession modeDownload a multi-page infographic all about felt safety: RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHubResources mentioned in this podcast:Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand ParentingRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetweenWe're kicking off 2026 with a LIVE webinar- Creating Felt Safety! Attend live and watch the recording- PLUS get a huge folder of digital resources including a workbook all about how to impact YOUR felt safety!Register at -----> RobynGobbel.com/FeltSafetyWebinar Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)