The Psychology of Relationships

Ever notice how wanting closeness can suddenly make you feel trapped or how independence can quietly turn into emotional distance? To continue the conversation from last week, Julie & Yue chat with Mark's now-wife Kylie McBeath, relationship educator, co-author of Liberated Love, and someone who didn’t just study avoidant patterns, but lived them. Kylie opens up about why she ended a relationship she deeply cared about and chose a “no man diet” to confront what was really driving her push–pull dynamic. This episode explores the psychology of avoidance, how self-protection can disguise itself as strength, and why stepping back from dating can sometimes be the most powerful move toward secure love.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• How avoidant patterns form and why they’re often misunderstood
• Why independence can mask emotional self-protection
• What intentional pauses reveal about attachment and safety
• How internal security is built without relying on a partner
• Why slowing down can lead to more grounded, lasting connection
To learn more about Kylie McBeath, follow her @beingisbeautiful and visit https://www.kyliemcbeath.com/

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When one person pulls away and the other leans in harder, the result is often frustration, confusion, and emotional exhaustion. In this episode, Julie & Yue talk with Mark Groves—human connection specialist, author, and founder of Create the Love—about what it takes to step out of the anxious–avoidant cycle and into a more secure form of partnership. Drawing from both research and lived experience, Mark shares how taking responsibility for his own triggers and emotional responses transformed his relationship. This conversation reframes healing not as fixing your partner, but as changing the patterns you bring into connection.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• Why runner–chaser dynamics feel so hard to escape
• How anxious and avoidant patterns reinforce each other
• What self-responsibility actually looks like in relationships
• Why awareness and repair matter more than blame
• How secure relationships are built through choice, not chemistry
To learn more about Mark Groves, follow him @itsmarkgroves and visit https://www.createthelove.com/

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There’s a quiet pressure many people carry: the feeling that they’re running out of time. Time to find love. Time to settle down. Time to make it all happen before the clock says otherwise. In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by therapist and advocate Beth Gulotta to explore how societal timelines—especially around love, fertility, and partnership—shape our anxiety and decision-making. Through the lens of psychology, Beth breaks down how social comparison and time pressure can distort our choices, and why meeting love later in life often comes with more clarity, emotional maturity, and intention. This conversation invites a redefinition of what it means to be “on time,” while still honoring real biological and emotional realities.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• Why societal timelines create stress and rushed relationship decisions
• How social comparison fuels anxiety around love and fertility
• What psychology says about partnering later in life
• How to balance biological realties with value-aligned choices
• Ways to reclaim agency over your relationship and life timeline

To learn more about Beth Gulotta, follow her @bethgulotta and visit https://www.bethgulotta.com/ 

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You’ve probably heard of IQ and EQ—but what if the missing piece in your relationships is PQ? In this episode, Julie and Yue are joined by Shirzad Chamine, bestselling author and creator of Positive Intelligence, to unpack how our inner saboteurs quietly undermine relationships. Drawing from neuroscience and cognitive psychology, Shirzad explains why we’re wired to judge ourselves and our partners, how the nine saboteurs show up in dating and long-term relationships, and what happens when we let them run the show. Together, they explore how building positive intelligence helps interrupt reactivity, reduce self-sabotage, and create more fulfilling, emotionally resilient relationships.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• What Positive Intelligence (PQ) Is—and Why It Matters in Relationships
• The 9 Saboteurs That Appear in Every Relationship
• Why Judgment Is Hardwired Into the Brain (and How to Interrupt It)
• How Saboteurs Create Conflict, Distance, and Self-Sabotage in Love
• Practical Ways to Strengthen Your PQ Muscles
• How to Respond to Triggers With Curiosity Instead of Reactivity
• How Higher PQ Leads to Healthier, More Fulfilling Relationships
To learn more about Shirzad Chamine: follow @shirzadchamine and visit https://www.positiveintelligence.com

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Relationships don’t fall apart overnight—they erode through unresolved conflict, unmet needs, and missed opportunities for repair. In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by Casey and Meygan Caston from Marriage365, marriage coaches and authors of The Marriage Habit and 365 Connecting Questions for Couples, to explore how their own marriage nearly collapsed and what it took to rebuild it. Drawing from both their personal journey and their work with hundreds of thousands of couples, they break down the patterns, expectations, and myths about marriage that often go unnoticed, and show how lasting love is possible when couples have the tools, awareness, and intentional practices to repair, reconnect, and thrive together.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• Why conflict isn’t the problem, but avoidance and defensiveness often are
• Key green and red flags to notice early in a relationship
• Cultural and modern myths about marriage that can sabotage relationships
• How to rebuild emotional safety, trust, and intimacy after disconnection
• Tools for maintaining a thriving, resilient relationship over the long term
To learn more about Casey and Meygan, follow them @marriage365 and visit https://marriage365.com/

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